You live your life

Written by

Donnnnn

Summary: This story is a sequel to Please, Starlight, Come Back

Twilight unexpectedly runs into Starlight at the Crystal Empire

Analysis: This story is a rather simple take on Starlight's reformation. It's basically taking out the time travel and crystal heart events and having Starlight trying to adjust while fearing Twilight finding her. Because the summary doesn't tell you much, I'll give a summary of my own.

Starlight goes to the Crystal Empire for unknown reasons. Probably to hide from Twilight. She meets a stallion named Jet who offers to give her a tour. Before they even start they deliver a letter to Sunburst, making Starlight put Jet on hold to meet her old friend again. Starlight and Sunburst talk, making Starlight panic and admit that she stole a town's cutie marks. They go out to eat, and Twilight shows up. Twilight corners Starlight and the two talk it out, allowing Starlight to explain what happened between her and Sunburst while pouring out her emotions.

This story focuses on Starlight struggling to deal with the idea of acceptance, redemption, and rebuilding friendship.

It's rather well written, but I feel like it doesn't try anything really new or unique. It's nice, yet simplistic.

Writing. 9:10 The grammar is really good, save for a few letters that should have been capitalized and some minor errors.

“Are you okay, Starlight?” shed’ faintly heard Sunburst’s voice distortedly say.

The plot of the story. 6:10 This story is pretty simple and doesn't look like it does too much. I would have liked to see something that makes it more exciting. The story ends up having to thrive on the emotional drive of redemption.

Story flow. 6:10 I felt like there were either a few paths in this story that weren't taken, or there is a sequel to this too. I don't know what role Jet was supposed to play, and he feels underdeveloped. I wanted more detail on the transition between Sunburst's home to the restaurant. The interactions between her and the males are lacking, leaving the best parts of the character interactions between her and Twilight. I think this story didn't do enough to stand out, leaving a weak first half followed by a strong second half.

Final score: 21/30 7/10

This story is nice in a simple way, but it doesn't do anything that makes it stand out on its own. I find that some longer stories either do too much or not enough. Sadly, this one did the later. I would love to find out if this story was building to something else, but I feel underwhelmed by this story. It is a nice feel-good story, but nothing that raises the bar. I hope to see the writer improves his skills and becomes less afraid to add more details in his stories in the future.