We finnaly have it! After 1,5 years, the first story to go into my perfect folder!

TTo Be Seen

• MLP: FiM
• Horror

In the middle of the night, Rarity is awoken by a noise from downstairs. But it's alright, all she needs to do is make sure everything's okay. Then she can go back to bed. Then it'll be over.

• Rarity

Seer · 2.1k words  ·  283  4 · 5.5k views

Summary: A horror story, featuring Rarity, at night, with a harmless noise from downstairs the boutique that has woken her up. No problem to check on it and then go to bed again, right? RIGHT?

Finally, a good horror story again! Nothing better than work with the readers imagination instead of bluntly push the horror into their faces, ruining it. The story does great on that part. It starts quite harmless with Rarity is woken up by a noise in the middle of the night. Nothing out of the normal in an old house one would say. She simple has to get up, check on it, gop back to sleep. At least that is what would one expect to happen since she is an adult pony. Though, the story very well knows how to describe the act of leaving the room and making the way downstairs through the half dark to be atmospheric and reminding the reader of old childhood fears that may linger beneath the surface. The story plays with that images in your head and use the basic human fears to work, like fearing the dark, nightmares as a kid, stuff like that. Also the expectation for something to happen is present most of the time, like good horror stories and movies have it, there are opportunities for the big scare here and there, but if something happens, you have to read the story for this since I don't dare to spoil that for you.

Rating: 
Horror: 9/10 If you are into this genre and the used fears in the story (like darkness for example) triggers you, it is awesome.
Entertainment factor: 9.5/10 The atmosphere in this story is great. Only the passive angle of perspective is holding the story slightly back. (I would describe it like a game with 3rd person view instead of first person, it feels a bit like looking over Rarties shoulder instead of being with her first hoof at some spots)
Writing Style: 10/10 To the point, focused on the important, and very atmospheric so you can enjoy it.

9.5/10

Feedback: I really like this story, maybe a line or two from Rarity in direct speak would have added something to the story. Or one or two more little events on her way to the end of the story. But in general there is not much I can complain about at all.

7208719
Thanks very much for the very kind review buddy! I'm really glad you liked the story, it means a lot
And as well as that, thank you for founding the awesome group! It's amazing to have a place for writers to get feedback for their pieces so the work you and all the other reviewers put in is sincerely appreciated!

7208724
Your welcome! Also thank you in return for praising our little group

I mentioned your story in the discord server as well and RedParade told me your stories are good and deserve good ratings I may check your other stories out soon.

7208733
Oh cheers mate, Red's a champ I need to thank him for that :P
I hope you like any additional pieces you choose to read!

7208744
If they are as good as this one or nearly as good I surely will, only sad thing that comes to my mind about this story is that it may not goes well with becoming an audio drama, given the telling perspective. Otherwise I think an audio version of this one would have been great.

7208719
Awesome story, thanks for letting me know about it Azure.

7208966
Your welcome!