Edit: I forgot the link. No Bon-Bon, I Expect you to Cry

Summary: A short but fun story about what happens when emotions are poured out at work... and did I mention you are a villain wanting to kill Bon-Bon?

Analysis: I took on this story for a short follow up while working on some longer projects. I was surprised that in spite of its shortness it is a clever and funny story. From the point of view, to the clever build-up, and then to the major shift when Bon-Bon shows up. It was simple, funny, and has a little emotion in it to season off this great story.

Rating:
Writing: 10/10, I didn't find any grammar errors and it was easy to read.

Plot of the story. 10/10, I can not give away the twist without ruining the story for any other readers, but for a short story, it works very well. It doesn't try to do too much that it can't cover it all in such a short time, and yet it is clever and unique by its premise.

Story flow: 10/10 It builds and flows smoothly. It doesn't feel like it's going too fast or slow but at a nice and moderate pace. The story keeps its comedic tone throughout the story and lands on a somewhat heartfelt note.

How to improve: ... I have nothing. The story is short, but it works well. Sometimes a well written short story can outshine a lengthy one. It is able to stand out and be funny in such a short time that I can see why a sequel was written (which I want to review and read.) I know this is my first perfect score, but for such a short story it does a perfect job of being funny and clever. Sweet Celestia, it's a good story.

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I'm glad you enjoyed my work. Thank you for the review.