My Wings Will Keep You Safe by Astral Phoenix

To start out, this was a generally great story to read. While I have a bit of an aversion to happier stories, this story really had a lot of love poured into it. Each of the characters were mostly as I would picture them being in the show and not too different from what I expect [I will make the note that I mostly agree with the review by PaulAsaran and have previously docked point for improper use of characters, I am a little more forgiving in situations such as this where the premise hinges on the characters being a certain way]. It was also a bit of fresh air so to speak as the stories I have either read lately and have been writing have been on the heavier/darker side of things, so the simple tail of Twilight comforting a scared Apple Bloom was a nice change of pace

Now onto the negative of the story. This story was repetitive to a frankly ridiculous degree from my perspective. The fact that a majority of the story is “Apple Bloom gets scared by thunder and Twilight needs to calm her down” really wore on me. The idea is good, but how often it repeats is quite frankly overboard. On the topic of Apple Bloom getting scared, why in the nine circles of Tartarus did the resident “I know just about everything” book horse wait for HOURS to put up a sound proofing/dampening sphere when she could have done so from near the beginning and saved the filly the trauma of constant fear from lightning? This is one of the cardinal sins in my book for story construction. Let me talk about something that was a problem, but not as bad as the previous ones mentioned. They are not arms, they are forelegs. I LOVE accuracy, so when I see people not use the right terms it irks me a bit. Now this isn’t as bad as a story saying Applejack has a Montgomery or Louisiana accent (it’s an Ozark accent for anyone interested), but the fact that this is something I see as requiring little legwork to find out really drove me up a wall when I read it. This isn’t a huge deal, again this might just be a personal thing, as I could tell what the author meant.

Final scores:

Characters; 7/10, while these were close to accurate, the question still looms as to why these specific characters needed to be chosen rather than just have OCs in their place as there is enough different that these characcters don’t exactly feel like the true characters they are meant to be.

Interest; 2/10, After reading Apple Blooms reaction to thunder perhaps two dozen times, I can safely say that the words ‘Apple Bloom, Thunder, and scared’ can never be used in a sentence together without the totality of this story coming back to me. Not a good thing.

Premise; 8/10, A nice little story about a mother figure comforting a little girl who is scared. Despite what several people think, I do have compassion and a tolerance for more light-hearted wholesome stories.

Total score: 17/30, or 5.66/10, If I wouldn’t have had to read derivatives of “Apple Bloom heard a crack of thunder and completely shit herself” more times than I have made reviews, I might have liked this story a lot more. Now, If you would excuse me, I need to purge all of the wholesome vibes I got from this story and get back to tormenting the characters in the stories I’m writing.

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I also did a review of this story on my YouTube channel