TEscape From Canterlot

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Drama

A young changeling and a disgraced circus freak search for answers in the aftermath of social upheaval.

• OC

No one is home · 8.4k words · 616 views

I could pretend to know nothing going in, but this is not true. This is set in my story universe, the Silver Verse. How will it shape up? Let's dig in. We start with an info dump. It can be strongly tempting when starting a new story in a series to do a 'last time, in Dragonball Z' segment, I would suggest avoiding it. Start with action. Start with people doing things. They don't even have to be big things. Your character could be sipping soup, it will still draw better than an info dump. in my humble opinion. The entire first chapter is recap, onwards! Well, now I feel silly. This entire story is an ongoing exchange of letters.

I didn't notice any obvious grammar issues, which is good! Grammar: ★★★

Use of show canon: This is clearly set in Equestria, but drowns in OCs, not that that is a crime. Lord knows I've written plenty of OC-tastic stories! There are some tonal shifts that would not fit in on 'the show'. ★★

Character Consistency: It can be hard to get a real grasp of a character when all you see are their letters. Even if one letter was different from the next, is that the person changing, their writing, or just immediate stressors influencing the writing? It's hard to say. ★★

Plot Flow: I will admit that the constant stream of letters is not my personal cup of tea, but that's personal. Detaching myself, what we are given is interesting and worth watching. There's a plot going on here, for sure. I just feel disconnected from it. It's like those video games that start just after something interesting happened that you will be told about but never get to participate in, if I'm making sense? ★★

Entertainment: A story of character interaction and communication, sometimes the failure thereof. It can not really be enjoyed by itself. You must read the prequel or you will be so very lost and possibly annoyed as name after name you do not understand is hurled in your direction. ★★

Overall: This feels like a side step. Like a 'special episode' of a larger tale, if that makes sense? I keep waiting for something to happen instead of being told it will happen or has already happened. That never occured. This may not be an issue for others who may enjoy this style of story (exchanged letters). ★★

Keep it up, and thanks for submitting your tale.