The Rejuvenationverse 33 members · 20 stories
Comments ( 6 )
  • Viewing 1 - 50 of 6
Purple Patch
Group Admin

In four months, Puddinghead and her armies had conquered no fewer than ten separate states of the former-Earth Pony Republic, placed another two under vassalhood and effectively bulwarked half of one of the largest states remaining.

In the fifth month of her conquests, Puddinghead reassembled her army, having restocked, resupplied and really, really revved-up (Her words), she continued her invasion of Avocada.
The lasting attack she’d left on the state had left its mark. Avocada was compressed, stretched thin, low on resources and not prepared for prolonged conflict. Smart Cookie was made aware of this.
So, as a gesture of good faith, Smart Cookie led the diplomatic mission, asking for Avocada’s vassalhood in exchange for utilising the Republic’s resources to repair the state.
President Butter Pear agreed and Avocada surrendered.

Smart Cookie left a defence force in charge of the equinitarian relief of the state and continued on with Puddinghead. The adjacent state of Duriana was much more aggressive in their defence. President Civette Jackenfroot insisted on leading the defence, full metal barricade before dense shield walls and lethal polearms in the hooves of every vanguard. Puddinghead’s charge would surely yield zero gain.
It was here that Puddinghead’s curious mixture of brilliance and madness came into play.
On the way up from Avocada, she’d inspected a supplies cart driving through a field of rotten marrows.
She ordered the drivers to stop, placed smaller marrows in its path and then ordered them to drive fast.
She observed the results with morbid glee and departed to speak with her leading war engineers.
At Duriana, she tested a new war mechanism.
The War-Wheel.
A hulking wheel of metal, spiked like a meat tenderiser, controlled by a massive system of pistons and pulleys with three ponies running the inside of the wheel and a war engineer piloting the thing. The first designs were crude and only semi-reliable, having to be taken atop high-ground and sent down towards the enemy lines to have any real impact but what it lacked in lasting capability, it made up for in sheer shock attack. The Durianans were thrown completely off guard. President Jackenfroot, positioned where the defensive line was strongest (Thus the primary target for the War-Wheel test), was reduced to a sticky pulp, thinly spread across the ground. Wherever the War-Wheel went, Puddinghead’s armies had to quickly make use of the break in the enemy’s defence. But Smart Cookie was always on hoof to take note of any and all flaws in Puddinghead’s design and improve on them.
It was a good system. Puddinghead came up with crazy ideas and Smart Cookie made them work.


Once Duriana had surrendered, the entirety of the east, along with a generous area of the central Republic was firmly in Puddinghead’s hooves. But this also left her wide-open for a pincer attack from the north and south as well as the mighty state of Potata now challenging them to the East.
Puddinghead decided to pool her resources as Avocada. This boosted her popularity with the Avocadans as the revitalisation of the state was now very clearly the top priority. Old grudges were put aside. The capital, Apear, was established as the eastern capital of Puddinghead’s Republic. Once all deployable forces were assembled, Smart Cookie ensuring that the Republic had enough defensive and judicial troops to keep order in the Republic, Puddinghead set up an eastern bulwark and split her armies, north and south. In the middle of the sixth month of her conquests the Grand Army moved upon two warfronts at once. The South Army set upon Banan and Nanasa while the North Army advanced into Nutland.
It was here that chance played Puddinghead an ace in hoof. Potata had sent messages to these states requesting reinforcements, assuring them that their eastern border would be the next place Puddinghead would invade.
Both the North and South Armies encountered foes with diminished horsepower and resources. Nutland fell quickly, President Amygdala killed in battle, while Banan and Nanasa followed soon afterwards, the respective Presidents Balbisian and Tuft bending the fetlock.
Meanwhile, Smart Cookie dealt with the threat to the east, ensuring Potata wouldn’t push forward while free from attack.
She and the Beastmasters Guild had worked to cross-bred a strong but short-lived variety of weevil and that month they unleashed a swarm of them upon Potata. Within weeks, Potata’s food production had become completely contaminated and they lacked any proper provisions to support an invasion. Their enlarged military only served to exhaust the food supplies they’d saved from the blight. Potata was trapped and unable to advance.
In the seventh month, the South Army defeated and conquered Tomata, receiving the surrender of President Redround. But the army was finally was halted by the Ortanique Alliance; the twin states of Oranya and Tangeria. The alliance was headed not by the state’s respective presidents but by by two branches of the powerful Satsuma Clan who put aside their grudges and bolstered their defences to engage in a fearsome series of skirmishes as the South Army slowly advanced in full force.
Meanwhile, the North Army managed to conquer Spinache, though hard-pressed by their fierce and hardy marine corps. President Espinard ‘Pop-Eye’ Blitter reluctantly surrendered as their resources and horsepower dwindled drastically, famously quoting as he surveyed the death and destruction upon his lands “That’s all I can stand. I can’t stand no more.”.
Beyond that, the neighbouring states of Leeking and Lettucia were led by cousins, Ulpix and Thridax, from feuding family branches. Each made grander and stronger shows of force to prepare for fighting Puddinghead. In a spectacular moment of folly, so great did their rivalry become that they turned on each other and wasted the resources they should have saved for Puddinghead upon themselves. The North Army stopped therefore, to recuperate and apparently watch the two armies foolishly battle each other with great amusement. To the east, Potata practically collapsed under the famine that followed the blight. When it was revealed that the food they’d received from the neighbouring states was reserved for the soldiers, almost every citizen in Potata signed up for recruitment. While this meant that they had an army large enough to rival Puddinghead’s, it also meant the food was used up five times as quickly. Now the armies of Potata were starving and feeble creatures who could barely stand.
Upon seeing how badly these three states had doomed each other, Jawbreaker, one of Puddinghead’s Grand Marshalls, was mentioned to have said.
“I don’t know if Puddinghead’s smarter than we thought or everypony else is just dumber.”


In the seventh month, Puddinghead’s total conquest of the Earth Pony dominions seemed certain. Beyond Potata, in the easternmost state of Onia, another new order was rising.
Though Mason was the first Chancellor of the Earth Pony Republic, he’d had only marginal control over the dominions. When he wanted something done, all Earth Ponies sprang to do it but when he was quiet, things were left in the hooves of others. As it was before he came to power, petty kings in Earth Pony communities sprang up all over the dominions, some reigns only lasting half a year, others passing their crown onto sons and grandsons and so on for centuries.
The most powerful of these was the House of Erden (A dark and sinister tale which I was speak of later) who stood in the centre of Equestria and sought to bring about the extermination of the pegasi, unicorn and various other elements they considered ‘inequine’. The last king, Stern af Erden, was assassinated soon after his crushing defeat to the Unicorn Alliance at the Battle of Finefield, leaving Mason to pick up the pieces, not declaring war on the two tribes but building the great wall to keep them separate. But after Mason came the Republic which had now fractured and set the stage for what many saw as the rampant and bloody annexation of the region at the whim of a common-born and completely insane young mare.
Old prejudices and paranoias resurfaced and an meagre landowner claiming lineage from the House of Erden rose again.
Raw af Erden swore to unite all the Earth Pony dominions against Puddinghead, restore the dominions to how they had once been (Which is enough to give a modern pony nightmares) and begin the conquest of Equestria and all lands beyond, purging the world of everything non-Earth Pony. Crowning himself Erven Erden Reigen (Loosely Translated ‘Returned, From-Earth, King’), he let a bloody insurgency in Onia, throwing the President Knoblock to his fanatics who flayed him, layer by layer, over a period of five days.
Raw sent his proclamation across the land, calling for all enemies of Platinum to rally to him.
He gained a startling number of supporters though the reasoning is actually quite straightforward.
Onia was furthest away from Puddinghead’s growing Republic and thus had the perfect opportunity to pool resources and bolster defences in preparation for when battle was joined.
It was also suggested that many of those who flocked to his banner planned to assassinate him after the battle with Puddinghead’s forces, no matter who would emerge victorious.
One of the most prominent of these allies, Marshall Kohl Kraut ‘The Sour’ of Brassica, wrote to various friends and allies telling them to not be dissuaded from the noble cause by Raw’s madness, reminding them ‘Surely he will see the foolishness in the actions that never benefitted his ancestors. And if not, we shall be obligated to remind him.’
Nonetheless, many of them write in their memoirs shocking experiences as they were forced to aid Raw in purging his dominions of anything he deemed unnatural (Essentially anything that wasn’t around during the time of the Erden Kings) and from then on, the hellish chant of “Erven! Erden! Reigen! Raw!” was akin to a death knell
In his first month of self-proclaimed kingship, Raw massacred over eighty-thousand ponies in Onia alone and as he spread out across the territories Puddinghead had not yet conquered, he and his armies had slaughtered around a third of a million.
[Note: Many consider it ironic how Raw is so often vilified for the deaths he caused when the revered Puddinghead killed at least twice that many. However there are three determining factors.
a. Puddinghead killed around six-hundred-and-seventy-thousand ponies over a year, so around fifty-six-thousand ponies each month. Raw killed a three-hundred-and-forty-thousand over a single month. Reversed, at such a pace, Raw would have killed over four-million ponies in a single year.
b. Taking their expansive dominions into account, Puddinghead conquered over twenty-six states, so she killed just under twenty-five-thousand in each state. Raw officially only drew in his own state and fractions of his neighbours, so the equivalent of three states. So that’s just under a hundred-and-fifteen-thousand in each state.
c. The ponies Puddinghead killed were often the results of a war or an insurrection, in which case they were almost certainly given the option to surrender peacefully before battle began. The ponies Raw killed were largely civilian (Around 80%) and were killed in purges. They had committed little to no violence against him and were killed because he considered their existence distasteful. And he offered none of them any chance of peaceful reconciliation.
If Raw had gotten as far as Puddinghead in terms of conquest, the deaths at his hooves would have numbered in the millions and once his reign was secured, there is no telling how many more would die to satisfy him in his violent, bigoted and backward ideals.
Nonetheless, the comparative death toll is something both anti-Earth Pony groups and Earth Pony-supremacist groups have used to give their arguments weight across history but it must be established that the argument is flawed and insular.]
[Wagensroll: I think three-hundred-and-forty ponies dead in a month is tragic enough, Patch!]
[Well, of course, both cases are tragic and bloody but in comparison, Raw’s conquest was a lot more cruel, wild and senseless]
[Wagensroll: Is war ever not senseless?]
[Semantics, Wagensroll! Semantics!]


In the eighth month, the South Army defeated the Ortantique Alliance. Through the use of lethal artillery barrages in the face of their charges, the Satsuma Clan wore out its strength and the family committed ritual suicide. Oranya and Tangeria’s respective presidents, Sunny Dee and Murcott, were reinstated and surrendered to Puddinghead. In the north, Leeking and Lettucia fell as the two presidents, Alpix and Thridax, were left alone in a room to negotiate and were found both cut into pieces, apparently at the hooves of each other but foul play from another party cannot be ruled out. In Potata, the famine grew so bad that the populace turned on their President, Crispian Tuber, boarding him up in his house and burning him alive. The three states stood down to the North Army in exchange for emergency supplies which were delivered plentifully upon the surrender of their arms. Beyond that, the eastern state of Artichoka virtually pulled out its military and political influence and fled to former-Onia, the President Cardunculus surrendering to Erven Erden Reigen Raw. The civilians and working populace in Artichoka surrendered to Puddinghead.
The borders of the former-Republic States were now completely disassembled. To the west was Puddinghead’s Republic, to the north-east, Raw’s Dominion and the south-east, the Badlands.
In the tenth month, the North and South Armies spread out and connected in the east, forming a blockade.
Onia’s flag was burned in its place, a grand coalition was established of Puddinghead’s remaining enemies, banded together to thwart the mad mare.
Known as the Krud Koalition (‘Krud’ taken from the ancient Earth Pony word for ‘Earth’ or ‘Soil’), they pooled their resources and forcefully conscripted every able-bodied pony under their dominion (And killed any non-able-bodied pony) The army tilled the fields and built weapons and walls between conflicts in a rotary system of fatigues (A system attributed to Kohl Kraut to ensure the army didn’t descend on itself. In general, most of the sensible actions the Koalition took can be attributed to him). Various members of the Koalition tried to write to Platinum or Hurricane among the unicorn or pegasus domains but neither would be willing to fight beside Raw.
And Raw shared such a sentiment for, upon finding out that somepony among his Koalition was asking non-Earth Ponies for aid, he had every literate pony apart from his high command executed!
Kohl Kraut is mentioned to have prayed that Puddinghead invade soon just so Raw would finally start killing actual enemies!


But around this time, in the tenth month, Smart Cookie made the decision to ensure the Koalition had nowhere else to expand. The Badlands presented themselves as an ideal spot for Raw retreat and if he did so, they would never find him again. What’s more the Badlands were lawless, violent and barren where raiders of all kinds made their home, plundering or devastating the villages and towns in the states beyond, the ideals of the early Earth Pony raider culture still alive and thriving where nothing else grew.
Various dark tales are still told of the outlaws that made the place home, bane of all decent folk, such as Scrawny Bean, Hossie Homes, Black Blazer, Red Jed Ketchup, Catch Bussidy and the Sanddance Colt, Curly Bashkir, Colt-Friendly and the Milkybar Kid.
Smart Cookie saw a way to both corner their enemies and boost Puddinghead’s popularity. There were many in the newly-conquered territories who still saw as an oppressor and a madpony. Bringing order to the nefarious Badlands would make her a hero.
So was established a punitive expedition known as the Badlands Bandit Bust. Smart Cookie placed bounties on every bandit in the Badlands, dead or alive. Bandit-Hunting Guilds were set up by former soldiers, each with various colourful names like the Quality Street Irregulars, the Bustier Brigade, the Crackerjacks, the Crunch Bunch and the Badland Badflanks. In a mere month, bandits in the Badlands were an endangered species. Bandits caught alive were twice their value and were subject to trial and punishment.
[Note: The hunts do face some criticism. Bandits who had retired to a civilian life were not spared and some innocents were even framed and killed either by accusing townsfolk or by opportunistic false hunters. Such tragedies were infrequent but bare remembering.]
Regardless, the swift end of lawlessness in the Badlands did wonders for Puddinghead’s credibility and public reputation and by the end of the month, with the hanging of the Milkybar Kid, the Badlands were closed off and brought to order with no way for the Krud Koalition to gain access or allies from its domain. There was, however, no telling how many had already headed north from the Badlands to join the Koalition before hunts began.
In the mid-tenth month, Puddinghead and Raw’s armies would clash time and again.


Puddinghead assembled her greatest officers and enacted the Promoticon Ceremony.
She gathered a dozen of her finest administrators she called the ‘Tasty Twelve’ and appointed them as Master Secretaries of the Republic. Several of them were surrendered presidents of the conquered states which mended ties between them and their conqueror.
Then she gathered sixteen of her most decorated generals, each unique in their skill and method and the best in the field, dubbed them the ‘Sweet Sixteen’ and promoted each of them to Master Marshall.
Smart Cookie, occupied a position among both the administrative and military leadership and so went by the tile ‘Master Genius’.


The Tasty Twelve were as follows.
1. Rock of Rock
2. Pink Lady
3. Bell Pepper
4. Butter Pear
5. Sharpseed
6. Espinard ‘Pop-Eye’ Blitter
7. Gumbo
8. Smart Cookie
9. Barley Sugar
10. Honeydew LeMusk
11. Jim Jam
12. Tuft

And the Sweet Sixteen were as follows.
1. Smart Cookie
2. Clementine
3. Jawbreaker: Adopted father of the mighty Rockhoof
4. Double-Decker
5. Twizzler
6. After-Eight
7. Milk Dud
8. Jammie Dodger
9. Shortbread ‘The Millionaire’ III
10. Ginger Snap
11. D’Oreo
12. Skittles
13. Kit the Kat
14. Snickers
15. Twix: Son of Trix: (No relation to Trixie Lulamoon...at least none we’ve found)
16. Unknown

Information on them to follow in time.


In the eleventh month, after various skirmishes and raids on both sides, the climactic Battle of Phyton would ensue.
Phyton field, between the former states of Artichoka and Onia, near modern-day Ghastly Gorge, was near the Erden stronghold of Old Mulch. Raw had placed Kohl Kraut the Sour as commander-in-chief of the armies and the old stallion had set in motion a careful tactic to catch Puddinghead unawares.
He pulled his own army back, aiming to meet up with Raw’s own army, sacrificing a garrison at Mulch, forcing Puddinghead to delay following them in order to take the stronghold.
Kohl Kraut’s Remnant Army then met up with the Erden Army at Phyton, collectively assembling around ninety-five-thousand troops.
Smart Cookie, however, saw through the ploy and had the stronghold of Old Mulch levelled in an artillery salvo, requiring only a small force to stay behind. However, by the time they’d reached Phyton, Puddinghead’s armies numbered around sixty-five-thousand, all exhausted from the forced march. Smart Cookie sent out coded messages to Master Marshall Kit the Kat to reinforce the army when a signal was sent up but they required the means to delay the enemy army until they were ready.
Puddinghead spread her forces across the field to hide around half of them from immediate view and feigned weakness, secretly ordering random soldiers almost too tired to stand to stagger a bit in front of the army in a feigned gesture of ill-health and lack of courage. She also began peace talks with the two enemy armies at different times with different terms which both suggested ill preparation on her end and the possibility that the two allies were working against each other.
Raw concluded that the Chancellor’s armies had worn themselves out and were doomed. Kohl Kraut and various other officers advised caution but they were overruled and threatened with execution for cowardice.
On a chilly day, with thick mist beginning to blanket the fields, Erven Erden Reigen Raw ordered the advance.


Smart Cookie predicted that the Erden armies would find most benefit in attacking the right flank under After-Eight where they could retreat to the Badlands if necessary with enough force. The Erden would throw most of their troops there and leave their left and centre vulnerable. The advance would be tricky as they required marching over a series of frozen rivers and lakes to get there. So Puddinghead deliberately weakened the Republic right flank and, to ensure morale didn’t deplete, chose to stand there with her troops to inspire them. Smart Cookie then assembled the Republic armies under Double-Decker and further away to be ready to charge upon the enemy on the signal. One thing that was vital was the mist lasting as long they needed to cloak the full size of their army and its movements. But if it lasted too long, Puddinghead wouldn’t know if the Erden army had stretched itself thin and for when to signal Kit the Kat’s army to reinforce the right flank. To that end, it would all come down to luck.
Master Marshalls Skittles and Shortbread III would hold back in the centre for reserve while D’Oreo would hold the north.
For a while, the two armies stood still as the two leaders heard of various skirmishes in the neighbouring villages.
Kohl Kraut then tested the waters, ordering old Cardunculus’s troops to harry the right flank but unknown to him, Raw also sent two of his generals forward at a faster speed which caused the two armies to collide. By the time they actually hit the right flank, the Republic’s artillery had already devastated them and After-Eight’s corps easily held off the attack.
In fact, a more climactic battle took place nearby at the village of Zwibble where Puddinghead’s skirmishers held off against the Erden advancement until forced out by an artillery barrage. The Erden, led by Bizen af Erden (A lieutenant-general of the Erden Army and one of Raw’s cousins) took the village only to be forced out again by part of the hidden reinforcement army which then pulled out to avoid blowing their cover. The Erden retook the village but were then forced out again by Double-Decker’s oncoming reinforcements who advanced slowly using only the most common weapons and artillery to avoid suspicion.
Astoundingly, Bizen never made the connection and the secret placement and movement of Puddinghead’s armies went unnoticed. Had he done so, or had a more competent officer stood in his place, Puddinghead might have lost everything that day and Equestria today would be very different.
Back at Phyton, Kohl Kraut’s troops stopped at the hill before the right flank and waited for the attack to subside. Raw, however, approached, condemned Kohl for his inaction and sounded the full advance of the right army upon the enemy. This act quickly doomed the battle and his own life.


Here, perhaps, Puddinghead’s legendary fortune also played a part.
Right as the reserve and right reinforcement advanced, the mist began to clear from the eastern side. The outline of the enemy command was clear to the Republic army while their advance remained hidden to the Erden right up until they were climbing up the hill. The sudden appearance of so many Republic troops through the Erden guard into disarray and Raw and Kohl bellowed conflicting orders as they both sped off the hills. Double-Decker’s army claimed the hill and held it strong but left themselves vulnerable to the Erden reserve meant to reinforce the left. Smart Cookie then ordered one of the centre reserve armies under Shortbread III to aid them and moved her own command atop the hills to firmly stake the claim.
Raw then ordered his brother, Rott af Erden, to lead his imperial guard, known as the Sternhooves to take back the hill. Puddinghead saw this from the right flank and sent the signal for an army meant for the left reinforcement, her gold-coloured-steel-clad hoplites (Known as the ‘Golden Ticket Corps’) to save Smart Cookie and take the centre. The Golden Ticket Corps were led by Clementine who tore through the Erden vanguard and took the heads off Rott af Erden’s banner and Rott himself with a single sweep of her colossal sabre.
Once the hill was cleared and the Sternhooves were sent into retreat, the Erden left flank, Remnant troops who knew these oncoming steel-clad warriors all too well, fled with them. As Raw headed to the right flank to ensure his escape to the Badlands, Kit the Kat’s reinforcements; joined of Badlands Bandit-Hunters, Zebra Irregulars and the swiftest of their mounted cannons; sped up to greet him. Here, Chancellor Puddinghead is said to have drawn to enormous blades, one on her forehoof and one between her teeth and cut through Raw’s bodyguard to leer in front of her face and bellow a single word.
‘Boo!’
At this, Erven Erden Reigen Raw screamed in terror and ran for his life, barging past his troops. Kohl Kraut sounded the full retreat but advanced up the hill rather than over the frozen lake and was taken prisoner by Clementine’s troops.
Raw fared little better however. He and his troops ran over the vast frozen lake which Puddinghead ordered the artillery to bombard. The ice cracked and over two-thousand ponies drowned. Raw af Erden managed to pull himself to safety but found his path blocked by Smart Cookie and his hindlegs crushed by his two-thousand drowning guards falling atop them.
Both leaders of the Erden and Remnant armies along with a large number of senior officers and around fifteen-thousand troops were captured.
As a representative of Puddinghead’s remaining enemies, Kohl Kraut was visited by Smart Cookie who treated him well and offered him a position as a Master Secretary in exchange for his surrender and advocation of Puddinghead’s Republic.
Eventually, he relented, though he did not become a Master Secretary but a Minister of Culture where he advocated and funded the building of monuments at the various battlefields across the dominion for soldiers of both armies and the revitalisation of war-torn areas.
Raw af Erden, however, was charged with gross insurrection, unlawful acquisition of power, terrorism, genocide, wanton damage to homes, culture, agriculture and environment, military cowardice and, on Puddinghead’s admission, ‘Being a Weiner!’ (Exclamation Mark expressly part of the charge). He was summarily found guilty and executed by hanging. All the while, apparently, Raw af Erden begged for mercy, claiming Kohl Kraut was responsible for the atrocities he’d committed and that he was really just some peasant colt who the Remnant dressed as an Erden and manipulated. But he gave away knowledge he could possibly had been privy to if his story of just being a puppet was even remotely true and his pleas fell on deaf ears. Even on the gallows, he wept and wailed for mercy right up until the moment his hooves stopped twitching.
At Egand-Cressburg, Kohl Kraut and his fellow remnants officially signed the surrender of arms and sovereignties over to Chancellor Puddinghead and her Republic.
By the end of the eleventh month, the Earth Pony Republic under Puddinghead was fully established.


Puddinghead’s influence and popularity was dynamic and far-reaching.
The first Chancellor of the Earth Pony Republic who had actually made it a Republic. And on top of that, she came from nothing. The scatter-brained daughter of a humble miner. Her ascension sowed the seeds of a radical meritocracy.
Smart Cookie kept it all balanced out. Under her guidance, the Earth Pony Republic was completely revitalised. The capital city was founded at the former Apple Acres; Big Apple. From there, she set into plan careful but powerful systems of education, trade, law, culture and public works.
The two leaders shared immense popularity but it was Chancellor Puddinghead that enjoyed the close proximity of the adoring public.
So great was her popularity that there was even a cult based around her supposed teachings and behaviour.
The Couphocefalin. They drank a potion that caused them a moment of spasm and whatever bizarre word that came to them became their new name and they took a new course of action they found they enjoyed and were expected to do for the rest of their lives.
There was Urhum’Jek-Who-Collects-Red-Things; Ngungabbi-the-Weasel-Clubber; Watey-Watey-Watey, Seeker-of-The-Blue-Lemon; Yajihabuh-Who-Soils-Himself and Gigoojerigoo, Dweller-of-the-Half-Empty-Custard-Barrel.
While Puddinghead was greatly amused by their antics, Smart Cookie considered them unsafe for society and gave them a spot to live in the northern Applewood forest far from the other communities, only Puddinghead visiting them from time to time. This suited them fine.
It’s unknown if their cult has lasted to the modern day.


And so, on the twelth month, the gates of Masonson’s Wall were opened and Puddinghead made plans to negotiate with the leaders of the unicorns and pegasi.
Here the great controversy of the age arises that set in motion terrible events that shape the Great Winter and the Founding.
Puddinghead went alone to visit the site where Platinum and Hurricane would negotiate with her to ensure a lasting peace and a joint effort among the three tribes to brave out the long winter.
At this point, the Unicorn Kingdoms and Pegasus Junta had reformed their second great alliance, dubbing themselves the Order of Winterguard.
At the city of Bellerophon, Chancellor Puddinghead met Princess Platinum and Commander Hurricane to discuss.
Before the month’s end, Smart Cookie received a message that her Chancellor had been taken prisoner by the Order of Winterguard’s leadership and was being tortured into abdicating.


Now, there are numerous tellings of just how this happened and why.
The most common is the post-Founding Earth Pony version which basically sums up the event as Puddinghead unwittingly arriving before the two leaders who promptly order the ‘ridiculous mud-creature’ put in chains and thrown in prison before making plans to enslave her kind.
The existing Earth Pony reports at the time claim that Puddinghead was at least invited to explain herself but soon the unicorn and pegasus leaders called to have her arrested and the Republic invaded to ensure a safe exit out of the steadily-freezing Equestria and onto new pastures.
The report by the Unicorns claims that Puddinghead arrived, treated the two leaders with zero courtesy and outright attempted to kill Princess Platinum with a miner’s hammer screaming ‘Death To All Royals! Death To All Mages! Death To All Unicorns!’.
The report by the Pegasi claim that Puddinghead arrived, treated the two leaders with zero courtesy and tensions escalated. The three leaders quarrelled violently, eventually coming to blows and two leaders who at least knew each other ganged up on the one they didn’t.
Of the four, the pegasus version seems the most likely. Puddinghead was a very capable leader but she was not a good negotiator. While a great deal smarter than she appeared, she lacked sensibility and caution and, unlike Smart Cookie, still bore if not dislike then at least a great deal of suspicion towards the ponies with horns or wings.
And to Platinum and Hurricane, in their already panicked and cynical state, it would have only taken so long for them to completely lose patience with the crude and crazed leader of the tribe that had already caused both of them so much grief before they decided to take what they both needed by force just as many earth ponies had tried to do to them in ages past.
Regardless, things were said and done that ideally should not have been and the four leaders of the Winterguard sent Smart Cookie terms for her safe release and for the Republic’s safety.


It was Private Pansy who was writing to Smart Cookie to tell her that even if Puddinghead would not abdicate, she’d already been proven to not be of sound mind to require a signature or even verbal statement from her.
Officially, she was no longer leader of the Earth Pony Republic.
The leadership passed to the Grand Genius and thus Smart Cookie was ordered, by the authority of the Princess Royal and the Commando Imperator, to surrender the Republic of its arms and arsenal and devote themselves and their resources to the Winterguard.
Star-Swirl had also written part of the letter, explaining his findings into the severe weather conditions and the possible threat of the beast known as the Windigo. But he explained it in words and statistics that meant nothing to the grounded, mundane earth ponies.
In Smart Cookie’s eyes, it was all just quasi-magic nonsense made to give their wrongful imprisonment of her friend and chancellor something resembling a good cause.
Smart Cookie gathered the Tasty Twelve, the Sweet Sixteen, all governors, officers and otherwise earth ponies of prominent position to Big Apple to show them the letter.
They needed little convincing.
The Earth Ponies were going to war.

Bronycommander
Group Contributor

7066059
Another well Made lore! Seriously, i only saw few who had such detailed lore infomation. Sort of reminds me a bit of the French Revolution

Purple Patch
Group Admin

7066369
Thanks.
Well, I can't take sole credit. I based the Battle of Phyton off the Austerlitz Campaign. So you were close.
Most of the bandits are named after actual Wild West outlaws.
The Couphocephalin Cult are based off the Corwyd from Valve's Zeno Clash video game.
And you can try spot the Popeye reference.:twilightblush:

Bronycommander
Group Contributor

7066421
Good idea. Though bandits hunted down while Living normal, reminds me of John's fate

Purple Patch
Group Admin

7066422
Right. Unfortunate circumstances.

Bronycommander
Group Contributor

7066423
Sadly, yes. And the more for Jack

  • Viewing 1 - 50 of 6
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!