September contest time! The rules are the same as last month's -- if you're new to this or need a refresher, there's a link below. This month I'm keeping the "feedback is opt-in" rule, but I'm considering dropping it for next month if everybody opts in again. For now, though, please respect any preferences expressed.

Here are the full rules.

Remember, there is no prize, as such, for this contest -- but if you win, you will be able to choose the prompt for the October contest. You'll also get a mention on the group's front page if I actually remember, which I'm sure our previous winners will confirm will be an even more thrilling experience than reading this intro post.

Prompt: "Before the Throne" (selected by last month's winner, FanOfMostEverything)
Rating: E or T
Word limit: 150
Closing date: Thursday 21st September 2017, 11:59 pm UK time (world clock)

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me to keep track. Please do not leave feedback until after the closing date. Again, for this month at least, feedback is opt-in.

Entries are now open! Have fun!

6092275

It's funny that FanOfMostEverything of all people posits this as a prompt; I almost immediately had Imposing Sovereigns flashbacks. Which is just as well, as that reminded me of the potential for characters other than Celestia and Luna. Also, I swear: if I get another honourable mention, I'm going to find a hat and eat it.

They made Clover kneel on the marble.

“Your Majesty,” she cried, “I… my friends… they needed…”

“Arrogance! Subversion! Treason!” bellowed the nobles. “That land was property of the crown, valued at 500 sterling plus Regal-Class tithes! Not for charity or lowly squatters!”

Clover sparked with outraged fear; above, the queen was ice. I should've asked you, but we've both… had disagreements. Have your memories since melted away?

“Please.” Clover wilted. “Kindness isn’t treason. Imprison me, but please spare my friends.”

Crop failures. Plagues of wild storms. Livelihoods drowned. This shouldn’t be the future. Once, mages overlooked, even trampled, the throne. Clover’s horn flared furiously…

Then dimmed. No. “I'm sorry.”

Silence.

“I feared you'd changed. Remember why you became ‘the Great’? You once tolerated me, trusted me. I bled for you.”

The queen melted. “We remember. Behold, lesser nobles! The future is not yours! It is hers!”

Tears. Thank you, Platinum.

Feedback Welcomed. I've deliberately tried to supersede the slightness of my first entry and the excessive vagueness of my second one, so I'm particularly interested in how this works (or doesn't) as a story rather than as a scene.

6092275

Moments Before

Princess Celestia spread her wings wide as the bar stool wobbled.

Greenleaf lunged, clamping onto the two nearest legs. “Your Highness, please!”

Shifting slightly, Celestia attempted to get her left hoof more firmly situated, but nearly fell as her right slipped off. “I-It’s not that I’m unappreciative...”

Greenleaf glared at the be-ruffed unicorn standing opposite him on the dais, “Joiner, this simply won’t do!”

“Naugahyde is in this year,” the royal artisan replied with a sniff. “Stools are all the rage amongst the southern nobility.”

“The pillow suited our needs for centuries!”

Joiner gagged. “In these modern times? Gauche!”

Greenleaf’s frown deepened. “A return to the Royal Leaning Wall, then.”

“Ugh!” Joiner said with a shudder.

“Well—”

“Enough,” Celestia said. Her attendants fell silent. “Let’s see it.”

Joiner paled. “Your Highness, I-I need more time!”

The stool lurched again. “I’m sure it's wonderful. Let's give this throne thing a try.”

Feedback is always welcome!

6092275
I retracted my entry; for some reason, even though the competition is clearly called "Flashfic 150", even though the rules clearly say it needs to be 150 words, I had "250" in my head.

6092275
Re-entry! (Now with 40% less verbosity!)

"Sister," said Celestia. "We need to talk about your new... throne."

Luna sat up, glaring. "Of course. You want to take it away from me."

Celestia sighed. "Believe me, I would have you keep it, if not for... well, the attacks."

"'Attacks'?" Luna banged a hoof against the seat, causing a lightning bolt to strike Celestia's horn. "That? It is called discharge. A common flaw of cloud furniture. Personally, I find it pleasing."

"No," Celestia said grimly. "The mental attacks."

Luna pshawed. "It is trying to make friends, Sister."

"It screams whenever you aren't here."

"Lost souls can be possessive, 'tis true," said Luna. "Have you actually sat on it?"

"Of course not. I wouldn't dream of it."

Luna slunk off the seat. "Try it. I insist."

Celestia frowned and clambered into the embrace of the stormcloud upholstery. "Oh my."

Luna grinned. "Five thousand bits."

"Do they come in gold?"

Feedback please!

6092275

Twilight stepped into the castle, mane drooping. Spike ran up to her.

“So? What was the big emergency? Is Thorax all right?”

“It wasn’t exactly an emergency, Spike.”

Spike frowned.  “But he said it was something only you could solve. Some sort of friendship problem?”

“It wasn’t a friendship problem, either.” Twilight sighed. “It was about the throne.”

“That big, black magic-inhibiting one Starlight broke up? Was it turning the hive magicless, or something?”

Twilight shook her head. “They tipped that all into a garbage pit well away from the hive. And it lost most of its power being broken to pieces, anyways.”

“Then what did he want?”

“Well…” She said slowly.

“Twilight— “

“Thorax thinks I’m a chair expert!” Twilight burst out, finally. “Five hundred pages of possible throne replacements. Five hundred!”

“So, did you pick one out, then?”

“Good night, Spike.”

I'm okay with feedback.

--Sweetie Belle

Thank you for the entries so far! A little over two days to go now.

6120038

Cue the floodgates bursting open. Always happens in the last few days of a contest. There's probably a mathematical law somewhere.

6092275
Ooh boy, almost missed this one.

"Another day, another royal court, with the same issues, and practically the same ponies. It's all so... boring," I thought to myself. I would have thought more, but I was interrupted...

"Would that be pleasing to you, your highness?" asked a gray pegasus.

"Oh, what was he trying to do?" I put on my thinking smile for him. "Oh, I remember! Plans for a weather factory in Cloudsdale."

"Yes," I said, "that would be pleasing. You may proceed with your plans."

"Oh, thank you, your highness," he said, barely containing his excitement as he left.

I prepared for more boredom.

"Sister?" I heard instead.

"Yes, Luna? Is there something you need?"

"Well, yes. I wanted to make a formal request for this. You see, I want... I want a throne."

"Oh..." I stumbled out. "Sorry, but I suddenly need to use the loo. "

Feedback is perfectly fine.

Just under 24 hours to go, everyone!

6092275
I could make some kind of excuse for this, but there really is none: Limestone Pie has emerged as my full-time irascible pony muse. Send help!

Limestone scowled at the skyful of dragons orbiting her family’s home, then frowned at the coterie of guardsponies advancing from the road. The stream of guards parted, revealing the huge figure of Princess Celestia walking beside a blue bipedal creature. Limestone guessed she was draconic, though much smaller than those flying overhead.

“My little pony,” Princess Celestia said, inclining her head.

The blue dragon growled. “You have received our notices. Relinquish the Lost Egg immediately, or Equestria will—”

“No,” Limestone said, feeling her pulse quicken. “In ages past, my family swore oaths to protect Holder’s Boulder.”

The dragon’s eyes narrowed. Celestia glanced at her, then refocused on Limestone. “Please… the oaths were to me. I release them. We have peace with the dragons now, and wish to maintain it.”

“No!” Limestone planted her hooves, took a huge breath, then pointed one hoof at them and bellowed: “Stay off Holder’s Boulder!”

Feedback accepted.

6122537

I could make some kind of excuse for this

Limestone needs no excuse

Submissions are now closed!

Thank you to those who entered -- a rather small entry, but at first glance a pretty fine one. I'm very busy this weekend, so I'll announce the winner on Monday 25th.

Everyone opted into feedback, which means all I have to say is: this thread is now open for feedback! You don't have to have entered to provide feedback, by the way -- any member of the group is welcome to post.

Six entries, two of them at the last. Unless it's something like "one third of the entries shall be at the end", that mathematical law sure ain't a reliable one.

As for feedback: These contestants all s**k. Especially the first b*****d.

I kid, I kid. For these wonderful people, I'll think of some more substantial critiques later on, once I've had time to consider their works thoroughly and as fairly as I can.

Except for the first b*****d. That guy s**ks.

Aw, I missed it. I had an idea I liked, but it wouldn't fit in 150 words, so I got another idea this morning but got too busy to write it. Oh, well. See you next month.

Oh, and the main group page still says this event is open.

6123593
Thanks. One day I'll remember to update these things!

6092563 6094755 6095318 6119682 6121040 6122537

Results time! As there were only six entries this month, albeit with an impressive overall standard, there's just a single winner. And that is... Impossible Numbers! Congratulations to you. A lot of tension in there for such a short story, and that's what swung it your way in the end. So, it looks like you don't have to find a suitably edible hat after all.

As always with Flashfic 150, you receive nothing of note, but you do get to pick a prompt for the October contest. Feel free to take a day or two to decide if you wish, then when you have one please post your choice in this thread.

Thank you to everyone who entered. As always, you're all great. Should anyone wish to give feedback on this month's stories, that's still fine.

6128442

Aw, but I had a nacho sombrero ready and everything.

Seriously, though: Sweet! Just goes to show there's no better metal than platinum and no better plant than clover. Will get back to you re: the prompt, though given how much time I've spent writing stories on Rarity recently, it'll probably be related to "generosity" in some fashion. Watch this space!

Also, I haven't forgotten that feedback I promised.

6128464
Congratulations!

6128504

Thank you, my worthy opponent. May we meet on the field of battle again.

Of course, I can't actually win the next round, so if you win we'll simply call it a draw. Fair's fair, right?

6128850
Now I'm no argumineer, but something about that seems off...

6128442

Actually, I was also thinking of something connected to Hallowe'en. Since I still don't want to compromise the Rarity-based idea, I'll combine the two and go for...

It was originally going to be "Generous to the Dead", but I think the alternative is more open-ended (hint: the "generous" and the "dead" don't have to refer to the same entity).

6129117

You're right. It does seem off. Hm...

Ah, I got it! On top of the declared draw, you should also send me six hundred thousand dollars. Then, I'll send you an argumineer (top quality, obviously) so you don't have to take your own case in determining whether or not this is a fair arrangement. That sounds fair to me.

Also, you pay me for postage and packaging. Delivery isn't cheap these days.

And if he says it isn't fair, he's defective. In which case, no refunds.

See the lengths I go to in order to level the playing field for you?

6130168
"The Generous and the Dead" it shall be! As ever, the thread will go up on the 1st. Thanks!

Obvious disclaimer first: I'm no professional when it comes to reviewing. I've tried to pin down areas for improvement in a constructive manner, but I cannot claim immunity to personal quirks and biases, especially since all these entries (save mine) are comedic. Comedy in particular just seems to depend too much on personal taste for me to hope to be a solid source of helpful criticism. In which case, I apologize in advance for any gaffs on my part.

6092563

You win this round, but I'll be back to get you...

6094755

I find the idea weird that a throne is only just now being used as a form of seating for royalty, but otherwise I got the joke, and I found some of the side details funny (How is a cushion considered "gauche", for crying out loud?). Technically fine: no obvious grammatical or punctuation-related errors that I could spot. Probably my second-favourite of the bunch, simply because of the way the ponies toss ideas and criticisms around.

6095318

This is fine, but I am wildly distracted by the idea that actual souls went into the throne's manufacture. It just seems like one of those details that demands more attention. Otherwise, a solid comedic structure leading to an amusing (if somewhat predictable, but I won't hold that against it) punchline. Also probably my second-favourite of the bunch: save for the souls bit and the need for a slightly more evocatively detailed payoff, it's a good entry.

6119682

Competently executed from a structural standpoint, with a promise of anticlimactic humour. Sadly, I must admit the actual content didn't tickle my funny bone. Thorax thinking Twilight is a chair expert feels like it needs more explanation, and while I can see what you were going for, the absurdity of the request leaned too close to "distracting" to really land as comedy. One or two minor quibbles stood out, such as the capital in "She said slowly" and the needless comma in "Twilight burst out, finally".

6121040

Thoughts with quotation marks don't strike me as correct punctuation; it's sufficient to italicize them. The main story was a bit lacking in punch. Just as we're getting (too much of) an idea that Celestia is getting bored, the last two paragraphs don't really connect to that very well. I see what you're trying to do: a kind of "That's it, I'm outta here" reaction. But there's a weird and therefore slightly misleading focus on this one pegasus' plans, and the followup to it feels tangential, too easily triggered (Luna literally just appears and mentions a throne, and that's all the comedic setup we apparently need to know), and too underwhelming in and of itself. Also, I'd get rid of those emoticons.

Sorry if I'm being especially or unfairly harsh. I'm sure there's a way to make the "Getting fed up; That's the last straw; I'm outta here" setup work. I'm just not convinced this was a well-balanced or well-emphasized way of executing it.

6122537

I'm going to play favourites and say this feels the closest to a fully realized comedic piece. The diplomatic gravity of the situation clashes well with Limestone's stubborn insistence on getting 'em off her property. It could probably do with another gag to strengthen it, and it doesn't really come to any obvious conclusion, but I still like the situation it sets up. Also, no technical issues I could find.

6132053
Naw, you’re fine. Honestly, this is something I whipped up in about 10 minutes. The emoticons I put in just because I wanted to mess around a bit.

Anyway, thank you for your very honest and in-depth feedback.

6132053

Competently executed from a structural standpoint, with a promise of anticlimactic humour. Sadly, I must admit the actual content didn't tickle my funny bone. Thorax thinking Twilight is a chair expert feels like it needs more explanation, and while I can see what you were going for, the absurdity of the request leaned too close to "distracting" to really land as comedy. One or two minor quibbles stood out, such as the capital in "She said slowly" and the needless comma in "Twilight burst out, finally".

Thanks for the feedback!

I'll admit the humour was kinda dependent on a bit from "Triple Threat" that might have stood out more to me then others with Thorax and Twilight and chairs. It always tends to be a bit hit or miss, though, and I wasn't totally sure how well this one worked. The idea had been in my mind since the first few days of the contest, but I didn't get to write it till the last minute.

My other ideas were Thorax ordering the throne, and then having it come "some assembly required" and trying to put together his new throne, or the making of the original throne of Chrysalis's that got destroyed. I decided Thorax struggling to put together a chair probably worked better visually than in an actual story, at least one without room for me to describe everything happening in detail, though...

--Sweetie Belle

I did read these stories, but I never sat down to do a concerted review post. Honestly, they all seemed about the same to me, so I'd have a hard time saying which one I thought was best. They were all pleasant, but without making much of a point, and two of them, I didn't quite understand.

The angle I'd thought of taking was going to be oh so clever, and it looks like a couple other people had the same idea: use "before" in a time sense rather than a position sense. It would have had filly Celestia and Luna arguing about who was better, and when their parents had the first throne made, the argument spilled over to who would inherit it. So Celestia sneaked in one day and wrote "Celestia's throne" in tiny letters down on a back corner. Eventually, she forgot about it, but then she notices it again shortly after exiling Luna, which triggers some self-recrimination.