Talk It Out 94 members · 85 stories
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My family is falling apart. My brother is hurting himself. I'm desparate for help pls.

5795360
My brother's feeling overwhelmed. Just now, my dad yelled at all of us, me, both my younger siblings and my mom, for being disrespectfull and ungratefull for him bringing us to a fun vacation spot, for not inviting him to join us when we were eating and for mistakes that were made many times before which he yelled at (not turning off lights after use, leaving the bathroom window closed after using it). My brother suddenly started stabbing himself in the leg with a pen.

Meanwhile, I have to push aside all my feeliga to be the calm one who can get to the heart of the matter without getting emotional. I can't bring up any of these things with my dad because he'll either yell at me for "talking back and being disrespectful" or going on this long tirade about how he's one again the bad guy, and it's all his fault.

5795364
The problem is that the person at fault here doesn't do anything to change. He's been doing the whole "I'm always the bad guy" thing for years, but if he really believed it, then he would've done something about it right?

5795369
My dad can be an asshole at times, but I still love him. I want all of us to get along; is that too much to ask? For us to settle our problems maturely? For us to put aside our anger and frustrations and just talk it out?

5795386
My mom said that should the 3 of us say the word, she'd leave him, and I don't want that to happen.

5795372 People don't change. There are far too many people living in bad relationships because hope holds them attached, but they dream in vain.

Everyone loves their parents on some level, and you're no exception. Don't let that trap you, though. Your family will never live in harmony. There will always be times of turmoil. Don't focus too much on those things. Accept the bad and appreciate the things that are good.

Also, don't try to fix people if they don't ask for it. You can only help them if they're already working on fixing themselves, otherwise, they'll just shift the responsibility on you and they'll stay exactly the same while you'll be suffering for them.

There will come the time when you'll be able to take a full control of your life. Plan for that time. When it comes, you have to be prepared. Until then, endure.

5795400
Yes pls.

5795791
My mom showed my dad my brother hurting himself. He went on again about how we're blaming him about it.

5796583 You're all stressing dad and your dad is stressing everyone else. Provoking is not the same thing as fixing.

If a situation is stressful, and you can't fix it, then try to stay away from that situation. You don't need to constantly deal with your family's shenanigans. Spend some time at the library, for instance. If you want to improve something, work on yourself. That's something you have a complete control over.

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