The management suggests you put on "Where Do We Go From Here" by the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when appropriate.

Marinette Dupin-Cheng pondered how she managed to wind up in this situation.

It started a few months ago. An old man had slipped her a pair of earrings that were actually magical items that could transform her into a superhero. Please, bear with us. This was the least bizarre thing that had happened to her over the past few months. Since then, she had faced countless super villains all created by one mastermind. Each one more dangerous than the last. Luckily, she didn't have to face the challenge alone. She had an efficient, if irritating partner.

Together they were the protectors of Paris. The Miraculous Ladybug, and Cat Noir.

She had gotten a few bumps and scrapes on the job, but it was the damage to her personal life that was the hardest to take. She was only sixteen, and her school had noticed frequent absences, and so had her parents. She couldn't tell anyone, she couldn't even tell her best friend Alya, that she was ladybug. As her father pointed out, three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Thus she hadn't even told her partner her real name. And that would be a strain on its own...

If dating wasn't impossible as a superhero.

Yes, there was a boy. Adrien Agreste. He was kind, considerate, and a model. An actual model. Alya used to joke that he was created in some secret government lab to make the perfect teen heartthrob. Then her mother made a crack about the French government, then her father went on a fifteen minute rant about the French government. Then Adrien walked into the bakery to order some cupcakes, then Marinette blacked out.

If there weren't things like that happening almost constantly, it was her work as Ladybug that kept getting in the way. It seemed like whenever she would get close to mustering up the courage to speak to him like a human being, Marinette would be called away because she was needed as Ladybug.

Which brought her to tonight.

The villain had called himself "The Incarcerator." The Akuma had given him the power to make impenetrable prisons out of material around him, or lock a door so completely that escape was impossible. He was a prison guard who had been assigned to guard the cell of a nasty lunatic. He was fired for unnecessary roughness getting the man back to his cell. The low emotional state allowed the Akuma into his spirit through his keys.

The fight had landed them in an awkward position. Ladybug and Cat Noir were trapped in an iron cell high atop the Eiffel Tower. Noir had used his "Cataclysm" earlier in the fight to destroy a Cell containing Mayor Bourgeois. They were trapped in the cell soon after. Ladybug had used her lucky charm to produce a magnet which had brought the keys to them. She broke the keys, releasing the Akuma...

Which promptly flew out of range for her to catch.

Any damage caused by the Akumatized Villain's powers was reversed when the cursed butterfly was destroyed, but it had to be done quickly. Otherwise things could get... Complicated. Ladybug had the power to do that, but there was another issue. Once Ladybug had used her lucky charm she had five minutes before the spirit that controlled her powers would run out of energy. Transforming her back into Marinette Dupin-Cheng.

She had used her Lucky Charm one minute ago. And while she couldn't get out of the cage, the villain had been neutralized. All that was left was the Akuma.

"It's going to stay on the top of the tower," Cat Noir sighed. "Best vantage point in the city. So at least it's not going anywhere..."

"Good point," Ladybug nodded. "So how do I reach it?"

"Simple," Cat Noir sighed, seemingly resigned to fate. "I use my Cataclysm to break the cage. You deal with the Akuma."

"You've already used..." Ladybug grew a look of horror on her face as she realized what Cat Noir was saying. "No. No no. Abolutely not."

"You have a better idea?" Noir said defensively. "In an hour that thing multiplies, and we are literally trapped in a box together. What else can we do but run the clock out, recharge, and go at it again?"

Ladybug gripped her hair in frustration and slid her hands down her face. "Fine. Fine. I'll turn around."

"You can if you want to," Noir said. "But I won't."

"What?"

"I'm not going to turn around," Cat Noir said flatly. "I'm tired of the runaround. On both our ends."

"This is my private life!" Ladybug said shocked. "You have no right-"

"I have been hypnotized, put through walls, knocked out, beaten down, and just generally had my furry ass handed to me to make sure I had your back," Noir was raising his voice now. "And I don't even know your name."

"So what? Now you don't trust me?" Marinette was starting to raise her voice to match Noir's.

"That's not it, and you know it," Noir shouted.

"Then why-"

"Because it's psychotic!" Noir screamed. "I have gone through these ridiculous cartoon antics to keep this secret which shouldn't even be a secret! It's killing me. And what I need right now, especially after a week like I've had, I need someone I can talk to about this crap! Dammit, I think I've earned it. My Mom's gone, my Dad is an Absentee half the time, and my best friend would probably never want to speak to me again after I've kept a secret this huge. Bottom line? You're all I've got. The closest thing I have to a best friend, and I need your help."

Ladybug stopped being angry and started being sad. Something had happened to Noir sometime this week. He wasn't... Okay.

"And I get it, alright?" Noir said, forcing a laugh to stop tears of frustration. "Under that mask you are as... spectacular as you are with it on. You're beautiful, vivacious, you've got a social life that puts celebrities to shame. You are someone special."

Cat Noir slumped in the corner of the cage. "I'm not," he said frankly. "I have no problem telling you who I am because to be honest, I am nobody. People look at me and see right through me. Until I put this ring on I had no substance, no energy, no real life. I honestly wish I never had to transform back... I just can't do this. On any other week, maybe I could have held out, but this has been seven days of making me feel as useless as I actually am. So let's just... stop with this. Let me have this one minor stress relief."

Ladybug looked right into Cat Noir's big green eyes, and sighed. He was right about one thing, it was incredibly inconvenient to keep the secret from her partner. And looking at him... he really needed this. Needed something. This was a big step, but it was going to happen sooner or later.

Besides... She had felt that same self doubt for a long time.

Ladybug sat down in the opposite corner of the cage, and began to wait. Three minutes left now.

"Okay," she said softly.

Cat Noir looked right at her. "'Okay?' That's it?"

Ladybug nodded. "You raised some very good points."

"You want me to just tell you?"

"Nope," Ladybug said frankly. "If this is going to happen, neither of us is going to volunteer the information. We run out the clock."

There was an awkward silence.

"You bring food?" Ladybug asked. "For your Kwami?"

"Yeah," Noir sighed, calming down, ''What does yours eat?"

"Chocolate chip cookies," Ladybug smiled.

"Seriously?" Noir said in disbelief.

"Yeah," Ladybug smiled. "Why, what does yours eat?"

"Camembert!" Noir protested. "I have to put an airlock on it so I don't smell like a dairy farm!

They both laughed for a bit then calmed down.

"Don't be disappointed when you see me," Ladybug sighed. "I'm not the glamour girl you take me for. I'm just a shy, awkward, pretty... unimpressive high school girl. Nothing all that spectacular."

"If that's what your class thinks." Noir said sincerely. "Then they don't have eyes..."

Ladybug blushed a little. "I sometimes wonder that about... Never mind."

Noir immediately put the pieces together. "Another man! Oh, milady why must you play these games with my heart!" Noir gripped his chest in mock agony. "Alright, what's this guy like."

"Well," Ladybug sighed. "He's gorgeous. Blonde, tall, constantly in these jeans that-"

"Thank you, I get the picture," Noir raised a hand to stop her. "Guy's probably a moron or a grade-a dickwad."

"Top of his class," Ladybug smiled. "And I've never heard him even raise his voice to anyone.'

Noir scoffed and looked up at the sky. "Well, good," Noir sighed. "If this doof is really as perfect as you make him out to be... You deserve him. Best of luck."

Ladybug smiled. "Thank you." Something dawned on her as she was looking right at Noir. "You know, this never occurred to me, but... You actually kind of look like-"

And then they ran out of time.

It was an odd experience to have your whole brain do a hard reset as your entire life shifted into a new way of thinking. Everything suddenly made sense, and at the same time nothing did. She was at the same time furious, embarrassed, confused, and despondent all at once. She wasn't sure if she would ever put the suit on again.

As she looked into the eyes of Adrien Agreste, she wondered how the rest of her life would continue.

"Marinette..." Adrien started. "I-"

"Don't say anything," Marinette said, turning around so she wouldn't see him, her voice trembling. "I mean it, don't say anything. Feed your Kwami and let's finish this."

"Listen, we-"

"Do it," Marinette said, as firmly as she could. "Now. Tikki the cookies are in my bag."

The spirit of her Miraculous looked right at her. "Marinette..."

"I know, alright?!" she yelled. "Just eat!"

The next few minutes went by at a snails pace. Adrien fed his Kwami and transformed, getting rid of the cage. This allowed Marinette to transform back and deal with the evil Akuma. Adrien tried to talk to her twice, but she immediately swung away. Unwilling to listen, and unable to think. She wasn't sure how it happened, but she ended up walking home in the rain.

"I can't believe that just happened..." Tikki was in as much shock as Marinette was, by the sound of it. "Do you realize how dangerous that was? What if that was Copycat?"

"Don't yell at me for that, yell at me for what happens next," Marinette said firmly. "I need to talk to Alya."

"What?!" Tikki said in a tone of pure horror. "She' the girl who runs a widely read blog dedicated to publishing every little detail about you. Marinette you can't-"

"I can, and I'm going to." Marinette said, not willing to have an argument. "If you want, after we're finished you can take my miraculous back to the Grand Guardian. But Alya is finding out tonight. Because right now, she is the only person I can trust.'

Tikki looked hurt. "You can trust me."

"Really?" Marinette said. "It took you a year to introduce me to the Grand Guardian, even longer to detail the powers of the other Miraculous. Where do my powers come from? Why were they made? Besides the Ladybug, the Cat, and the Butterfly, how many other Miraculouses are active?

"Did you know about Adrien being Cat Noir?"

Tikki stood silent, and neither of them said another word until Marinette got home.

---

Jacques Bousquet sat in his cell and fumed.

This wasn't fair. He deserved better than this. The thing's he had done had set France ablaze all but literally. It made Paris infamous again on a level it hadn't been since the late 1700's. How do they repay him? Locking him in a box to be forgotten. This wasn't fair. He deserved better.

Four years ago, over the span of six months, forty two people were murdered in or around the Brides-des Bairns casino in Paris. Their bodies discovered stripped of all valuable items, the place wiped down. Meanwhile, a high-roller named Jacques Bousquet kept coming in, and nearly losing his shirt. In the end though, he felt like he always came out on top. It was the rush. The spin of the wheel, the thrill of the chase...

The pull of the lever. Oh god, he missed the slots.

Keeping ahead of the law though, that was a gambler's dream. You lived for that kind of danger. That thrill. Somehow, he always managed to beat the odds. It took him nearly a year to get caught and when he did... Well, he didn't come quietly. He must have taken down twenty Gendarmes before they managed to wrestle him down to the ground. Lethal force had been authorized, unfortunately all it cost him was an arm.

He turned his lucky poker chip around and around in his hand. His father had given it to him for the one birthday the drunken lout managed to show up for. The waste of space pulled the thing out of his pocket and handed it to him. Told him it was lucky. That night his son pushed him in front of a train. Bad luck. Jacques decided to hang on to the chip, just in case.

He put it down on the bed next to him, and began to think. He tried so hard to think of a way out of here that he didn't even notice the black butterfly that flew into his cell.

When it landed on the chip, his mind convulsed. He felt someone attempt to strip his willpower away. Eventually, he heard a voice in his head.

I am Hawk Moth, the voice said. And I offer you freedom, and the thrill of the die roll once again.

Bousquet paused. "You have my attention. Keep talking."

Since you've been in prison, two super heroes have emerged in Paris. Each of them carries an item called a Miraculous, Hawk Moth continued. Retrieve them for me, and you may keep the power I now give you.

"Power?" Bousquet scoffed. "You're going to make me stronger? Faster? That's not the power I'm interested in..."

Then what is?

Bousquet smiled. "Immortality," he said lovingly. "And you can't give it to me... There's only one way someone lives forever."

You're quite right, Hawk Moth continued. I can't give that to you. I can, however, give you the means to take it for yourself. Make the world remember... The One-Armed Bandit.

Bousquet stopped and considered his position. He was amazed he was thinking this clearly, with a voice in his head. They called him unhinged, but this was new. But there's an old rule in Poker. Look around the table. If you can't tell who the sucker is, it's you.

Two people at this table. Bousquet wasn't the sucker.

"What the hell?" he smiled. "Let's give it a spin."

With that, he felt every cell in his body percolate.

.... That was a long four minutes.

Shut up.

That was also a pretty contrived way to get them to drop the masks...

Shut up.

And if you tried, I suppose you could make this new villain you came up with less subtle... If you had some kind of megaphone.

SHUT UP.