In a world where ponies made of tentacles don't even warrant a dropped hat

Gasping, I threw myself against the door of our club. It opened with a loud bang. I started yelling before I even hit the floor of the tree house, “Tentacle ponies are coming!”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo lay on the floor of the tree house, blankly facing each other, with their heads on the idea circle. They didn’t even turn their heads; only their eyes rolled toward me.

Scootaloo snorted, shifting her eyes shifted back to Apple Bloom. “…and by doing it my way, we are sure to earn our cutie marks.”

Comes a story not about the main pony characters earning their cutie marks

Scootaloo snorted, shifting her eyes shifted back to Apple Bloom. “…and by doing it my way, we are sure to earn our cutie marks.”

“And die as we get them.” Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Probably just die.”

but about cross-cultural word translation errors.

Because of that, she couldn’t abuse much in life and rarely got her way by rape.”

My Friend Tenty

Meet Sweetie Belle, the only one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders that gives a crap about an invading culture and the last one to find out about it,

“Everypony’s heard of it, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said in a monotone voice as she slid her forehoof on the edge of the idea circle. “Celestia ordered your sister and the rest of the Elements to spread the news. They’ve been going around and telling everypony about it since morning. I’m surprised it took you so long to find out about it.”

And the only other relevant character who's mostly irrelevant until you're halfway through the story despite being the character in the title:

“You ponies hate us. You’ll try to hurt me!” the voice from within the bush exclaimed as the leaves rustled.

“I swear, I didn’t mean to kick a stone at you. It was an accident.” I reached out with a forehoof to spread out the branches. “I’m Sweetie Belle.

What’s your name?”

“Tenty.”

Watch as they meet each other and explore each other's body and culture:

“You’re—touching me…” I slipped between my gasps.

“I’m not. My tentacles are.”

“But they are a part of you.” I tried pulling my foreleg again, but there were so many tentacles holding it back by then that it didn’t even move.

“Well, yeah, but they kind of have a mind of their own.” She turned away from me and faced a stone on the ground. “They touch what I look at.”

And see for the first time in this group what awkward comedy based on sex looks like.

“See?” The moment she looked at me, tentacles tightened around my body again.

“Why are you touching me?” I cried out.

“It would be rude if I weren’t. I’m showing you attention.”

“Please stop!” I raised my eyebrows as I looked up to her.

Join these two in an adventure of epic propor- I mean, a temporary setback of semi-casual molestation as they explore the meanings of how

different cultures view actions while the important people settle diplomatic emergencies.

“I reckon they just used their tentacles instead of it.” Apple Bloom looked through the window, toward Canterlot. “The ambassador is supposed to be meeting with Celestia today. They’re going to talk about the release of the Tentacle ponies that Celestia imprisoned after the attack. We probably won’t be seeing the ambassador in Ponyville.”

Starring

Sassyloo

Apple Knowitall

Naïve Belle

AND

Tenty the aspiring therapist jockey

Still, Tentacle Ponies are weird. How hard can it be to find a word that's not as offensive as rape for something that's basically like an argument.

“Well, she was the one usually getting hurt because she couldn’t defend herself, with her short tentacles and all. Sometimes, she managed to talk her way out of it. She didn’t even use counter rape, and still got her way. That’s how good she is at talking. It’s what got her into the ambassador business.”

“I’m sorry for your mother. I didn’t know somepony hurt her. Was your dad there for her when it happened?”

“No, he was doing her separately, but stopped after he got a fatal anal infection.”

“A what?” I asked.

“He got hurt bad in his tushy, and didn’t get better. He died soon after my mom spawned me.

Still funny. Fatal Anal Infection.