I am back with my next review! This time, it’s ‘The Lords of Harmony: A Tale of Two Sisters’ by Whinifree!

Let’s start with the story itself. In the first chapter, Celestia has a vision, Luna comforts her and talks about the vision. There are some dark powers in the works, and the chapter does great in showing that, from the outside as well as in Luna’s thoughts.

The second chapter is in Ponyville, where the citizens are preparing this year’s Nightmare Night. The Mane Six and Spike dress up as the powerponies. At first, I was a bit confused as to why they didn’t at least mention their previous adventures in the eisode Power Ponies - but the story is set in an Alternate Universe, and PP didn’t happen. So my mistake

Since it is set in an AU, any episode that was set in the Castle of the Two Sisters (except the pilot) didn’t happen either. It’s been three years since they went there now, and they were understandibly frightened to go there.

Until then, it was pretty light, but now it gets mysterious again as a mysterious figure appears and talks about what lies within. And that was chapter two.

This really hold the reader in its grasp; it really makes you want to know what is going to happen next. This is great for the story, of course.

Then, for the technique: there’s not really anything to say about that. The grammar is correct (as far as I can see), the layout is good, spacing, paragraphing - amazingly done!

So, in short: you’ve got me a little confused on the AU, but that was just me :derp:
For the rest, it’s all amazingly done!

Well, this was my review. I hope you’ll find it useful!

~Civviq Writer

P.S.: Since this is an unfinished story, I’m going to track it, and once I find someting interesting to say, I’ll say it in this thread!

Unfinished and untouched for a LONG time. with only two chapters i wasn't going to review it yet.

4217272 Life's a b ain't it? I'm a bit of a slow writer to begin with, but I went down to part time at work recently so I have some extra time to get more out before I go back to school in the Fall.

4217364

4217438 I started this in Fall last year. I was 3 chapters in but then I found an editor and started doing massive revisions based on their advice. Then I had to go on hiatus for a while for life reasons and only recently came back. My current 2 chapters are actually my old 4 chapters consolidated.

I seriously chose the worst possible time in life to try and write something, and this is a big project with many chapters. Big case of the mid20's going on here!

Also just saw that elusive someone out there who would throw my first dislike at me has struck. I knew it wouldn't last forever.