So the story it is about is, The Phantom of Canterlot

My problem is that I reached the first key event in the story and just didn't get any feedback anymore, except from my pre-readers and editor. So I ask myself whats wrong with the actually chapters? (From mare to mare and A fatefull encounter) If somebody could give them a look and tell me if I missed something or give a opinion in general, that would be nice. Oh and pls don't hesitate to tell me even negative stuff, as long as it is serious, I would like to hear it.

The other thing I could use a comment about is the viewpoint from which the story is told. I have two main characters in there and the reader can look both of them over the shoulder while the events are told, but not at the same time. So which once do you think would be better? (You understand when you have read the story, I just don't want to spoil everything)