So, we didn't figure this kind of thread would be necessary, but despite the (survey says) relatively high proportion of trans people in this group, there have been a number of ignorant things said - usually without malice, we do understand this - since the re-founding which indicate a lack of understanding of what a transgender person is or isn't. People are referring to transgender women in particular as "futa", "hermaphrodite", "trap", and other terms that are actually somewhat to very offensive to many; people are making jokes about 'identities' like 'attack helicopter'; and so on.

Warning: Infodump ahead. The tl;dr is: trans women are women. Trans men are men. They are generally pretty typical of such, and are not shemales, cuntboys, sexual predators, etc. and generally just want to have good lives like anyone else.

Table of Contents:

1. Vocabulary and slurs (this post!)
2. Common social issues
3. Transgender biology
4. Caveats and wrap-up
5. Changelog

Let's do this! Take your time, it's near 5k words according to my word processor. The format is mostly Q&A, with an emphasis on the A being as informative as may be needed.

To begin:

Vocabulary

A list of terms you can use, and which I'm going to use in this thread. Hopefully a useful list!

Gender: This is part of a person's identity (being a man or woman is a common expression of it); it can be masculine, feminine, somewhere in between, neither, or so on.

Sex: This is a person's primary (genitals, other reproductive necessities such as testes or a uterus) and secondary (e.g. feminine breasts) sex characteristics.

Sexual orientation: Generally describes who a person can be attracted to. Cisgender and transgender people alike can have any sexual orientation.

Cisgender/cis: An adjective, meaning that someone's gender and sex more-or-less line up by common definitions, and the person is comfortable with the sex their body was born and developed with. Most people are cisgender.

Transgender/trans: An adjective, meaning that someone's gender and sex are not the same. Transgender is also an umbrella term covering people who are gender-neutral, genderqueer, or otherwise do not identify as "man" or "woman", but the focus of this thread is on transgender men and transgender women.

Ipso-gender: An adjective referring to people who are born intersex and identify with the sex they were assigned at birth; e.g. someone born with ambiguous genitals who was assigned male at birth and identifies as male.

Trans*: An adjective, meaning someone's gender and sex are not the same. When used like this, it is explicitly an umbrella term, covering several to all transgender identities (e.g. genderqueer, transgender man, etc.).

Transgender man, trans man, transman: Someone born with other-than-male (seeing as intersex people with ambiguous genitals exist) genitalia whose gender is male.

Transgender woman, trans woman, transwoman: Someone born with other-than-female genitalia whose gender is female.

Transsexual: A word which is becoming obsolete due to inaccuracy; it usually referred exclusively to transgender women. Its exclusivity and the implications of "sexual" instead of "gender" (i.e. that it is about sexuality, which it is not) have made it unpopular.

Male-to-Female (MtF): A transgender woman.

Female-to-Male (FtM): A transgender man.

Genderqueer or Non-Binary: Refers to someone who identifies as neither masculine nor feminine, both, or some combination of the two.

Genderfluid: The gender of someone whose gender is not consistent over time.

Intersex: Someone whose genitals, chromosomes, etc. exhibit both male and female traits (e.g. a penis with 'testicles' that are actually scrotum ovaries), generally as a result of unusual in utero development (e.g. Klinefelter's Syndrome/XXY Syndrome). Sometimes, intersex people are also transgender men or women.

Transvestite: A term referring to someone (usually male) who dresses up in clothing generally meant for the opposite sex entirely as a sexual fetish.

Cross-dresser: A term referring to someone who dresses in clothing generally meant for the opposite sex for non-sexual reasons, e.g. “it's comfortable" or "fuck the establishment."

Non-gender/gender-neutral/agender/etc.: The "gender" of someone who is of no gender.

Gender Identity Disorder: A psychiatric term used as a diagnosis for transgender people which is obsolete due to inaccuracy. Essentially, it makes being transgender a psychopathology rather than a biological condition, which can be very damaging on both personal and legal levels (especially due to how strongly stigmatised mental illness is, and the amount of completely legal bullshit that can happen to you if you are diagnosed with a serious mental illness). The term has been replaced with "Gender Dysphoria" (see below) in the current psychiatric diagnostic manual to reflect that being transgender is not a psychological disorder. More thorough explanation here.

Gender Dysphoria: A psychiatric term and diagnosis for the psychological pain and stress, caused by the physical condition described later, which results from having an other-than-female gender and female sex (or other-than-male gender and male sex). Nota bene: Not all trans people experience severe gender dysphoria.

Transition: The process (highly personal and varied) through which transgender men and women explore who they truly are and begin to present themselves in society as whoever those people may be and try to alleviate whatever gender dysphoria they may have.

HRT: Hormone Replacement Therapy, by which medicine is used to bring a person's endocrine system (specifically, 'sex hormones' like estrogen and testosterone) “in line” with their gender. For transgender men, this generally means taking testosterone supplements. For transgender women, this generally means taking testosterone-blocking medication and supplements of one or more types of estrogen.

Post-op: Refers to a transgender person who has had surgery to alter the appearance and characteristics of their genitals. For example, a transgender man may have surgery in order to rebuild what they have as a constructed penis, or "phalloplasty."

Pre-op: Refers to a transgender person who intends to go through genital surgery (see "post-op") but has not yet.

Non-op: Refers to a transgender person who does not intend to undergo genital surgery.

Slurs

Seriously, guys, don't use these.

Shemale/dickgirl/tranny: A term from pornography which refers to and fetishizes porn models who are feminine and have both breasts and penises. This is considered extremely derogatory by most transgender people, especially the younger crowd. It is also an incorrect term, because many transgender women want to be seen as women, not fetish objects, and usually (but not always - see "non-op") don't want to be stuck in a state in which they have breasts and a penis.

Futanari ("futa"): A term from Japanese porn, especially hentai, which refers to and fetishizes feminine characters who have penises. This is also usually considered derogatory for the same reasons as "shemale." It further is used to fetishize situations trans women generally find very shameful and painful, such as an erection in a public place on seeing someone attractive. Also, if you're going to use this word at all, you are required to write the entire post in pseudo-Japanese weeaboo-speak and write "desu" at least five times more often.

Trap: A term from (???) referring to a feminine male who, typically, goes on live video/webcam chats to get a (typically male) audience sexually aroused, then goes for the "shocker" by revealing their penis. Also refers to suggestive or pornographic art of otherwise-feminine characters with semi-hidden penises. This is derogatory when used to refer to transgender women because it is yet another sexual fetishization which characterizes them as sexual predators. It has also become a harmful and highly-prevalent stereotype that transgender women exist to trick men into sex with them, and then laugh at them because lol you had sex with a dude, that makes you gay! This directly leads to treating transgender women badly, and as though they are men (which they are not).

He-she or it: A term from (???) which refers to transgender people as either gender-confused or not gendered. Both are derogatory in denying a transgender person's identity; "he-she" insists that a transgender person is both, regardless of his or her actual gender, while "it" insists that a transgender person is of no gender and has the same status as an inanimate object, regardless of his or her actual gender.

Hermaphrodite: A term from Greek mythology referring to a mythical androgynous person (union of Hermes and Aphrodite), and long-obsolete term for intersex people; now refers to characters with both a penis with testicles and a vagina (and usually uterus and ovaries as well). Questionable whether such people actually exist; this is not intersex people, who are sometimes genitally-ambiguous but more often appear with (for example) male genitals with ovaries instead of undescended testes. There are a variety of intersex conditions. This is obviously not transgender men or women.

Cuntboy: A term usually identified with porn, sometimes aimed at pre-op or non-op transgender men; notably, one of only two terms in the slur list to explicitly use a person's genital status against them and to fetishize them. This is extremely derogatory for the same reasons as "shemale/dickgirl/tranny", above. Generally speaking, people also don't like being referred to by their genitals, especially people who don't like having those genitals. Men don't like being referred to as their vaginas.

Transvestite: This is only a slur when used to refer to transgender people; in that context, it implies that they are just men presenting themselves as women (or vice versa) in order to achieve sexual gratification, which is not true.

Cross-dresser: This is only a slur when used to refer to transgender people; in that context, it implies trans people are not actually the gender they present themselves as, which is not true. Although, trans people can also be cross-dressers and transvestites in the non-slur sense (meaning that a transgender woman might wear men's clothing or a transgender man might wear women's clothing).

A Mostly-Social F.A.Q.

Isn't being transgender an internet and media fad? Why do they have to make such a fuss?

No, it's not a fad. As I'll mention again later on, trans people have been around for ages, and have been studied by modern medicine since before the internet existed (in fact, one was instrumental in inventing the microchip, a major advancement required by modern computing technology, back in the 80s – so well before the advent of social media).

Some people make a big deal out of it on the internet (especially places like tumblr, reddit, and youtube), and that's kind of unfortunate because most of what comes from those sites is destructive, but in general it's only now that transgender people are becoming visible in any significant way (e.g. television).

That's why it's actually really important that something of a “fuss” be made. Just like gay, lesbian, and bisexual people before the Stonewall riot (if you haven't heard of it, ask google) were simply the butt of violence and nasty, mean-spirited jokes, that's also what's been going on with trans people this whole time; shamefully, even gays and lesbians have often treated transgender and bisexual people the same way, contributing to the public lack of awareness.

But it's important to note that trans people have always been around (and in general, almost always severely oppressed). That you're starting to see them now is not a fad or a fuss, it's simply society becoming aware of some of its own people.

What about otherkin, trans-race people, and exotic genders like mayonnaise?

To start with, “genders” like “mayonnaise” and “toaster” and “attack helicopter” exist to make transgender people into an insulting joke. Seriously, that stuff has no place in serious or civil discussion. Don't do it. “Trans-race” is the same story, as are otherkin who claim to actually be (insert the 'other' that is supposedly their 'kin') and want to “transition” to become Drizzt or something.

Otherkin in general, though, often say that what they do is spiritual in nature, rather than dysphoric; this reminds me to a degree of the Native American groups who chose/discovered totem animals. They can do their thing or not; it has nothing to do with gender in general or trans people in particular.

How am I supposed to refer to a trans person, anyway? How do I know?

As they want to be referred to, generally speaking. It's mainly the same way as with cisgender people.

A handy trick: If it's not obvious from how they're presenting themselves (e.g. wearing overtly feminine or masculine clothing or makeup or so on, and generally trying to present themselves as a particular gender), ask their name. The name is usually gendered. If you can't guess from that (e.g. unisex names like Adrian or Pat or Tyler), you might just have to cave and ask something like, “How do you want me to address you?”

Don't ask “Are you a man or a woman?” I understand you're probably well-meaning, since most people are, but that's a faux pas because it directly confronts them with presentation problems they are probably very well aware of, probably don't have a lot of choice about, and were hoping not to have to deal with because they wanted to have a good day. That kind of information is something it's polite to give people only when they ask for it (just like if someone is attractive, or fat, or whatever).

Or you can just avoid using gendered pronouns until you know for sure. “They” is actually accepted by experts as prestigious as the writers of the Oxford English Dictionary as a way of referring to a single person of a gender not given, so it's usually okay. (I've also actually known people who would rather be referred to as “they”.)

And if you get it wrong and are corrected, it's okay to just accept that, say sorry, and do better next time.

How do I ask a trans person whether they've had genital surgery?

That one's easy. Don't! Would you like people up and asking about your genitals every day? It happens pretty often for many trans people, and it's actually really, really creepy. They will tell you when or if they think you should know (such as when a relationship might turn sexual, or if you are the person's doctor).

While we're at it, here's a whole list of other questions you probably shouldn't ask and things you probably shouldn't say unless asked.

Here's another list of questions and “compliments” you probably shouldn't say, oriented mainly towards attempts at romance.

Well, how am I supposed to learn more about transgender people, then?!

Here are two questions you can ask:

“Could you point me to some good informational resources on transgender people?”
“Would you mind if I asked you some questions about transgender stuff?”

You can also ask Google! (You will have to check your sources in the results, though.)

I need to talk to someone, at least; can I tell (person Y) that (person X) is trans?

That's something to ask Person X. Telling the wrong person that Person X is trans is dangerous; you could actually get them harassed, hurt, raped, or killed by doing so. Plus, who gets to know is their prerogative, just like whether you want to tell people that you're bisexual or (on the internet, where it's not obvious) an ethnic minority or woman. It's not right to take away from them what you wouldn't want taken away from you – and in this case, you're potentially taking away their physical and emotional safety.

Stop calling me cisgender, it's rude!

It's not rude. It just means you don't experience dysphoria from a mismatch between your brain and your genitals, and in general you're not going to be discriminated against or miserable because of that. You might still be discriminated against or unhappy for other reasons, but so are trans people.

It's like a cisgender man named George being upset that I identified him as a man, or called him George.

You mention a problem with social role-enforcement, but I'm genuinely worried; if trans women are allowed in the ladies' room and other women's spaces, what's to stop men from preying on women and girls and gaining access just by saying they're trans?

For starters, just to make sure this is taken care of, trans people are not in the ladies' or men's room to prey on people there. They are there to fart, pee, poop, maybe wash their hands, and some might touch up their makeup or their shave. And then leave. Bathrooms are nasty and full of people who are also farting, peeing, delivering miscarried fetuses, or pooping. Seriously, nasty.

Now, to continue, people who actually stalk, harass, or molest each other in the restroom are criminals. If they do this, they can be charged and convicted because you're not supposed to do that. Beyond that, gendered restrooms are actually kinda stupid for the most part anyway. People are there to do their business or try to make covert drug deals. This kind of talk implies that all men probably have piss/scat fetishes and are uncontrollable rape machines, which is not true.

And gendered single-occupant restrooms are just silly. Only one person is supposed to be in there anyway. Some cisgender women and many trans men like to pee standing up (and have tools to assist), so there's no real need to deprive anyone of urinals.

(back to table of contents)

A Mostly-Biology F.A.Q.

So, what is a transgender person? How does something like that even happen? Don't people just choose to be this way, like on Tumblr?

Trans people have been around longer than the internet, and probably as long as the human race. We just haven't had anything available to treat them with because it's not a psychiatric problem, it's a medical issue. Let's go into the science.

According to the best study we have from the past 60+ years (which is admittedly not as well-documented yet as it could be), being transgender is a physical condition with a genesis in an interaction between genes and in utero conditions at certain stages of development. Let me try to simplify some developmental biology:

It starts with the very very young fetus - up to a point, a fetus has the capacity to develop "male" or "female" traits in a wide variety of areas. The proto-genitals and the extremely early brain are star examples in this. While the difference between the finished genitals is usually obvious (intersex people being an exception, as the process which causes one proto-genital to become dominant and the other to be re-absorbed doesn't work quite properly for them), the differences between male and female brains are a little less obvious, since you can't just pop the top of someone's head off if you get them in bed (as you might do with pants).

However, there are a number of known ways in which the structure and neural activity of gendered brains differs.

The critical problem for transgender people is that the brain and the genitals undergo their development at different times. For most people, the brain and genitals are wired under the same general conditions and end up "matching" (an oversimplification, but it'll work for this particular discussion). Transgender people, however, end up with "opposite" (again, oversimplification, but it works here) wiring. The result is transgender people who literally have (for example) a "male" brain and "female" genitals (not quite as much oversimplification), or the other way around. Because the genitals almost always come with an endocrine system to match (intersex and a few transgender people can be exceptions), puberty almost always occurs in the form considered "appropriate" to the genitals.

The result for most (but not all) is gender dysphoria. The brain is male, but receives female signals from all over the body, especially from puberty onward - from genitals, from hormones, and so on. This usually causes a very great degree of stress (which is bad for you in a hellish number of ways), and it gets worse when social role-enforcement comes into play. Untreated, it often leads to comorbid disorders (most prominent in the Western world are depressive and anxious disorders, along with potential difficulties with sex due to receiving so many unpleasant signals when being sexually active with the "wrong" genitals), causing further problems, so it's kind of important to treat.

Don't those differences in the brain come from the use of hormone therapy? We do know that stuff causes lots of changes.

No, and this study explicitly examines that idea and finds it lacking.

Okay, but how are HRT and genital surgery supposed to help? Can't transgender people just get therapy to be comfortable with not transitioning?

Well, let's examine all hypothetical treatment options for people with gender dysphoria:

(a) Brain surgery to alter the structures of the brain to be congruent with the genitals.
(b) Psychotherapy to try to bring a transgender person to be comfortable with not transitioning.
(c) Hormone Replacement Therapy, and often genital surgery.

Brain surgery for this, however, is right out. We simply don't have the medical knowledge or technology to do it. Furthermore, brain surgery is incredibly high-risk, so it would be the least-preferred medical option by far. And that's not the only problem. We as a global society tend to have a problem with altering people's minds; we call it 'mind control' and consider it evil to subvert who a person is, especially in invididualistic cultures like pretty much the entire western world. Philosophy and religion both take issue with this, not to mention the medical profession itself. This is not, and will very likely never be, an option.

The problem with option (b) is twofold.

First, people have tried that option for decades. It's not new, and it doesn't work, and literally every organization (usually religious organizations) which has claimed to do so successfully has been exposed as a group of psychiatric quacks. In most cases, the alleged “therapy” is invasive and emotionally or sexually abusive on top of not resulting in a "cure", and ends instead in repression and eventual self-harm/suicide and/or coming back out as transgender. There are thousands of people who have tried this kind of “therapy” (and it's not always voluntary, e.g. Kidnapped for Christ) and none of them were truly and successfully treated.

Second, trying to change someone's gender (e.g. from female (a trans woman) to male (a cis man) is something that nobody has ever successfully done. It's pretty easily demonstrable; just have a cisgender person try to be trans. The last time I heard someone actually doing this (a female journalist), it ended in incredible emotional pain, and the person in question had to be hospitalized because she was becoming a serious threat to herself.

Option (b) does not work, and has never worked.

However, option (c) does actually work to alleviate or even eliminate gender dysphoria. The majority of the work is done by hormone replacement therapy, and the most common form of this (pills) is medication that has already been proven generally safe for other purposes. For example, spironolactone (a testosterone blocker, used by trans women) is also used to drop the risk of prostate cancer in cisgender men who are high-risk or pre-cancerous; estradiol (an estrogen supplement, used by trans women) is also used as birth control and for post-menopausal cisgender women (who have their own form of hormone replacement therapy already); testosterone supplements (for transgender men) are sometimes used for cisgender men who are experiencing a number of symptoms related to low testosterone. They're safe (as we already have decades of experience controlling potential negative side effects), and they're very effective at reducing dysphoria. Best of all, the emotional changes (which vary by person, but are generally masculinizing or feminizing as well, along with reducing dysphoria drastically) are usually noticeable long before any irreversible physical changes become apparent. This means that if hormone therapy does turn out to be the wrong option, it can be stopped before it causes any long-lasting problems.

Hormone replacement therapy also makes the social side of transitioning easier, especially in younger trans people (generally meaning under 40, but especially late teens), as it generally causes a 'late puberty' effect. Transgender men can generally expect testosterone to cause facial and other body hair growth (though this may not happen in families predisposed to not growing facial/body hair), the voice 'crack' typical of pubescent boys, minor breast shrinkage (?), and so on. A transgender woman can expect breast growth, re-distribution of body fat into more feminine patterns on the body and face, genital shrinkage and difficulties getting aroused, and so on (though what testosterone has added, e.g. body hair, must be undone by other means).

For many transgender people, the genitals are also a major source of dysphoria, and in these cases, the results of genital surgery are generally pretty good as well. However, this is generally a very expensive procedure. It costs more than most used and many new cars, and is usually not covered by insurance; it comes straight out-of-pocket. However, in general, opposition on philosophical and religious grounds is falling apart under scrutiny, and some insurance companies are even starting to cover it (it's not all that much to them considering how few people need it in comparison to, for example, even-more-expensive hip replacements). As this surgery is also effective in reducing dysphoria, it is actually a good treatment option.

Wait, dysphoria related to the genitals? Does that mean being trans is basically like having Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

No. Body Dysmorphic Disorder is when a person literally doesn't perceive their body as it actually is; sufferers may make many cosmetic surgeries to 'correct' their bodies (e.g. Michael Jackson, for a famous case), but will never be satisfied and will end up endlessly 'correcting' the corrections, assuming of course that they have the money.

Transgender people do perceive their bodies accurately – and generally find what they see, painful.

So if the treatment is hormone replacement therapy and sometimes surgery, how come transgender people still need psychotherapy?

Because of co-morbid disorders. Living with gender dysphoria for years before seeking help is usually very painful and high-stress. Enduring that for years would cause anyone, not just transgender people, to experience chronic depression and anxiety, and many transgender people are bullied in school and verbally, physically, and emotionally attacked, or even sexually abused and/or raped, just for being who they are (or even being suspected of being who they are or gay). This can cause a range of symptoms from depression and a complete failure of self-confidence to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

So, how quickly can someone transition like this, anyway? I heard from (entertainment/news site) that you can basically take some hormones, walk into a hospital to get genital surgery, and walk out into a new life. Surely it's not that easy?

Nope, it's not that easy. Typically, transition will take several years, though some people manage it more quickly. I'll give you an example of some of the things which might happen for a “typical” transgender woman:

Hormone therapy. It usually takes months (at a minimum) of psychiatric therapy and the approval of a doctor and a therapist to make sure you're actually transgender (a practice many trans people protest and/or make fun of) to get started, and you will have to keep taking at least some pills for the rest of your life (although after genital surgery, you won't need testosterone blockers anymore, seeing as the testes are gone). (This one is also done by trans men.)

Genital surgery. It often takes years of psychiatric therapy to rule out other causes of dysphoria and the approval of a doctor and a therapist get the go-ahead from almost any reputable surgeon who actually has the medical expertise and equipment required (these are few and far between, by the way). (This one is also done, although not as often, by trans men.)

Facial feminization surgery. Some trans women feel they need facial surgery to look more feminine and be more themselves. This is another roadblock in those cases, due mostly to cost and low availability of accredited providers.

Acquiring an appropriate wardrobe. Clothes are important, and they cost money. Unless you're already filthy rich, you're probably not going to be able to just replace your wardrobe overnight. (This one is also done by trans men.)

Makeup. Not always cheap!

A legal name change. The legal process takes a few months, and it often doesn't occur til late in transition due to obvious reasons, such as still looking entirely like a man and having a woman's name. (This one is also done by trans men.)

Money problems: All of these require money, quite a lot for genital surgery actually but also usually a few hundred in filing and background check fees for the name change and frequent payment for hormones for your entire life. (This is also a problem for trans men.)

Discrimination: Therapists and doctors may refuse to provide service at all to transgender people in most parts of the world, including most states in the US. Judges who are needed for the name-change process may refuse to authorize it. You may be fired, evicted, and even criminally stalked, harassed, assaulted, sexually assaulted, or killed, without recourse in most of the world, including most of the US. You may be raised by transphobic parents who literally beat and screamed their ideas about gender into you and have extreme trouble coming to terms with yourself, or you may have gotten the same from school bullies or even complete strangers. All of these things can hamper transitioning in one way or another, and obviously apply to trans men as well.

These are just a few things that transition may include, and many of them are very long and involved. Robert isn't going to decide he's trans one day, walk into a hospital, and walk out as Maria, or vice versa.

So, what is this whole thing about transgender children? Aren't they too young to make decisions with such long-lasting ramifications on such an adult topic?

Transgender children are a kind of difficult topic to come at due to public perception. The thing is that in society today, many adults see transition as "the surgery" (referring to the magic genital surgery that changes everything, which is not how it works, as was just covered), and many still see a transgender identity as inextricable from sexuality, which we've also established isn't correct. It is not unreasonable to question whether children should have access to a mostly-irreversible genital surgery before the age of reason, and it is of course unconscionable to push sex on a child, but that's not what a child's transition is about.

What a child's transition is about how they identify. This is related to the development of the brain. Like most children around the age of 5 or 6, trans children start to experience a sense of identity, and like cisgender children - who also generally identify as boys or girls - gender is one of the core elements of identity. Transgender children whose parents allow them to transition may wear clothes or play with toys meant for the gender they identify with, and they will often (not always) play more with other people of the gender they identify with (e.g. trans girls may tend to play more often with other girls), though trans girls may also be 'tomboys' and trans boys may also have some more 'feminine' preferences. The most important thing is that trans children will identify themselves as the gender they identify with. Their gender expression may or may not match the stereotypical view of how boys or girls behave, but that's many children, trans and otherwise.

Transgender girls may also be given a very limited degree of medical treatment. They may be given testosterone-blocking medication until they come of age to make medical decisions for themselves, but nothing more. The effect is that 'male' puberty (which may include development of face/body hair, the voice 'crack' typical of pubescent boys, and so on) is postponed until the child has the opportunity to make a reasoned, independent decision. If their decision is then to not transition after all, they can stop the blocking medication and puberty will come on as normal.

I am currently unaware of any equivalent early-age medical treatment for transgender boys. (Trans guys or anyone else who knows this stuff, please educate me.)

In short, aside from potentially taking a puberty-delaying medication, transgender children are not doing anything cisgender children of the same age do not, which means that their gender (the same as cis kids who identify themselves as boys or girls) is not an adult topic. They are simply beginning to form an identity, like anyone else their age.

I am a heterosexual man, and I am sexually attracted to a transgender woman, but I don't want to have sex with her, especially if she's pre-op/non-op. Wouldn't that make me gay?

No. You're attracted to her because she's feminine, i.e. for the same reason a straight man becomes attracted to any woman.

Also, if you're gay, that's not a bad thing, but then you probably wouldn't be attracted to her (which would make you bisexual).

The same, of course, applies in whatever way to anyone of any gender and orientation.

I'm a man. I've always been a man and I'm happy that way. How could these other men want to be women?

If you've read this far, you probably understand this, but transgender women are not men who want to be women, they are women who want their bodies to feel 'right.' Similarly for transgender men.

Also, trans people don't “want” to be anyone; transgender women are women, and transgender men are men. They just want their appearance and sex to reflect that better, kind of like you might want to (for example) lose weight and build muscle to bolster your own sense of masculinity.

Congratulations, by the way. This makes you a cisgender man! You don't have to take hormones for life or get expensive surgeries to be comforable with your sex, and that's pretty great.

(back to table of contents)

Mega-Caveat 1:

Trans people are not all alike. If a trans person tells you something different about themselves from these posts, they are probably right. This thread is for general information and guidelines.

Mega-Caveat 2:

I have studied a lot, but I do not guarantee that everything I've written is correct. Please point out where I'm wrong (or especially if I've slipped and said something that unintentionally sounds bigoted), preferably with a link to the science showing I'm wrong, so I can update or correct the infodump above.

If there's anything else you'd like to see here, please do say something.

(back to table of contents)

Changes

11/20/2015
Updated several Vocabulary entries.
Added Vocabulary entry on "Gender Identity Disorder".

5/18/2015
Updated Vocabulary entry on "Intersex" to avoid pathologizing the term.
Added Vocabulary entry on "Ipso-gender".

4/30/2015
Learned more about otherkin and updated the brief mention of them in the Social FAQ.

4/21/2015
For clarity, "trans*" has been separated from "transgender" and given its own Vocabulary definition.
Gender dysphoria Vocabulary definition, and relevant space in the Biology FAQ entry, touched up.
Several slurs have had some of their general information amended.
A definition of agender/non-gender people has been added to the Vocabulary post.
A section on transgender children (ctrl+f to find it easily) has been added near the end of the Biology FAQ.

(back to table of contents)

4279853 Is this going to be pinned? I think it would be a great idea if this were pinned.

With regards to the biology portion (though it overlaps with being gay) though most research and theories have it only apply to males/male-to-females:

1) It's estimated that around 5 to 20 different genes are responsible both for human sexuality and for whether or not someone is transgender.

2) Though it's not definite, the likelihood of being transgender increases with birth order and age of the mother. The reason for this is the fetuses have to be more like the mother in order for the mother's immune system to not see it as a foreign object; the site of fertilization is the fallopian tubes, and the zygote travels down to the womb and lodges there. If the immune system sees it as a foreign object, the womb will not create the chorionic villi that attach the zygote to the wall of the womb (and create the umbilical cord and placenta), and thus is spontaneously aborted after a week. Therefore, a fetus might expose itself to different levels of hormones in the mother to make it more accepting of the zygote, and these hormones might have an effect on the resulting gender identification after birth.

EDIT: 3) Gender identification can be seen as early as 6-7 years old, when a child is beginning to have a sense of self. With it being as early as it is in development, psychologists say it has to have some effect from the genes and not purely by choice and environment if it can be found in a child who may not have learned what precisely being transgender means.

While a cis man myself, I kind of knew most of this (comes with the territory of having a few trans* friends myself, and I am sad to admit, I made a few blunders myself)

One thing I didn't know what the difference between transvestite and cross-dresser. Interesting to learn that difference.

4279853

*Claps* love it. Very informative.

As a trans woman I'm happy to see such a well put together article. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

4279870
I will at the very least link it on the front page here and transgender bronies.

People are referring to transgender women in particular as "futa"

Oh my god. I can't believe how much this pisses me off.

4279853 *hugs tight* Very informative and well-structured. Also spot on with the bullying...

4279858 can I ask you questions?

4280118
I am open to answering any transgender related questions, whether it's just facts or personal experience from a trans person.

4280149 Can I am PM you than?

4280150
Sure, go ahead.

4279870

Okay.

4279884 Cross-dressing is a fascinating thing in my main field (theatre history). There's tons of debate as to to why and whether boy actors played female roles, and some have argued that gender and sexual categories were divided differently- boys and women alike are objects of desire, and as long as one plans to insert a penis, it doesn't too much matter into whom. It's true that most reforms in casting are presented as moral--whether it's more or less immoral to display women onstage or to have boys play their roles (and also true that both were treated as sexual objects for sale.) It's also a fun fact that almost as soon as women were permitted to act onstage, suddenly there were lots of scenes in which they had to wear nightgowns, or undress, or rape scenes in which their clothes were partially torn off, not to mention roles of male characters intentionally written for women to play. I don't know if that is cross dressing or transvestism, since it's certainly done for the voyeuristc pleasure of the (mostly male) audience and not necessarily that of the actor.

The male characters/female actors thing was my specialty for a while, both as a scholar and as a singer. Sometimes it seems that the female actor behaves in such a way as to communicate that the person beneath the clothing is "really" female, again for the titillation of the audience. Other actors try for absolute verisimilitude. I have a friend who only plays male roles in Shakespeare, and she's awesome. Sometimes the audience doesn't realize that Iago was played by a female actor until the play is over.

Then again, you have traditional Kabuki theatre, in which the attitude is that men are always better at playing women than women are, because only a man knows what men want from women.

Like I said, it's complex, and if you're interested, PM me. I have a crapton of books I can recommend, but it's tangential to transgender-- except the extent to which some of these actors who specialized in supposedly "cross dressing" roles were actually trans men and women living hidden in plain sight. And that we'll never know.

4279853
I do have to ask since it's not exactly explained, but is there a difference between "trans" and "trans*"?

4280175

trans* is usually used to refer to transgender people of all kinds as a whole, or at least multiple different kinds at once, is my understanding.

e.g. this from Anonymoose:

comes with the territory of having a few trans* friends myself

Also, if you're going to use this word at all, you are required to write the entire post in pseudo-Japanese weeaboo-speak and write "desu" at least five times more often.

I am now going to imagine everyone that says futa also doing this, lol.

Seriously though, I appreciate this post. Thank you.

I'm MtF non-op on hrt and even learned something from this. Thank you.

4279853 uh
Cuntboy was never for pre-op transmen
And futas are not trans
they are both purely porn terms
Cuntboy is just the name for guys who have vaginas. Not transmen, dudes, with vaginas, who exist in porn for the sake of porn. Similarly to how futas have wangs because it's a fetish.

Your SJW is turned on pretty high tonight.

4280499 I believe the point was that there are people who use those terms to describe transgender people regardless of where they came from or what they originally meant, and that's simply an incorrect and often offensive thing to do. Why, I've seen people on this very site refer to trans women as futa.

4280527 I don't deny that some misguided people call transgender women futas, but I've literally never seen anyone call a transman a "cuntboy". Calling it a slur is a bit over the top and seems like she's really grasping at straws to justify the fact that everyone goes out of their way to discriminate against transgender people, even when there's no real case to be had.

4280499
Problem is an earlier thread on this forum and people across FIMFic actually do refer to trans people with these terms, Proper Noun is quite aware that these are porn terms and said so herself.

Did you do a speed run on the original post and not actually read it?

4280548 I don't know about going out of her way to show discrimination. To me, it came off as listing the inappropriate names used while also giving some background as to why it's offensive so people reading this would know not to use them. I agree I've never heard cuntboy being used, but this is the internet. There's always going to be that one person out there somewhere who uses it.

4280558 re-read the thread, found nothing on how many times people call transgender people "cuntboys" or "futas" respective to their gender type

I think the rest of the thread is completely solid, by the way; I just think for the instance of "Cuntboy" being attributed to a slur when in all actuality it's a fetish that relates in no way to transgender people (the person is fully male, he just has a vagina, which is the fetish) in the same way a futa chick is just a chick with a dick. It's purely fetish, and due to the obscurity of futa vs cuntboy, I don't think that cuntboy is a "slur" and PN was just looking to beef up her post with an exaggerated "slur".

4280566 It seems to me like it's a potential insult, and not exactly an active one. And calling it a slur is really just over the top.

4280581 What does it matter if it's active or not? A slur is a slur, an insult is an insult. If you called a MtF person cuntboy, I guarantee they would be offended even though it might have never been used before. It doesn't matter if it's only used as a porn term right now (which I doubt, since I guarantee there are people who do use it).

4280589 but because it isn't a term that's used actively, it's a preemptive strike towards something that isn't even an issue yet, and may as well never be an issue. Calling unnecessary attention to it is frivolous and detracts from an otherwise stellar post.

4280594 It's preemptive in that it's meant to stop it before it happens. It's much better to show someone not to do it instead of having them learn the hard way. Why wait and see if it becomes an issue when you can take steps to make sure it doesn't become one?
Sure, there are some things that you can rightfully call as over preparing, but a term like cuntboy is an insult that would be quick to catch on should it become as widespread as other rude terms.

4280598 ever hear of the Streisand Effect? People will do shit they're told not to, and the internet amplifies that by like, 10k percent. If you leave something that's not really an issue alone, it will rest in obscurity and most likely never rise to become a large issue that needs to be addressed.

I also just realized what I was doing and am now going to bugger off. Great post, Proper, despite my own personal hangups. Sorry for wasting your time, eLLen.

4280602 Don't be sorry. You just had an opinion, however much people disagreed with it. Have a good night or day of whatever time it is for you.

4280606 it's night here, in the last timezone on Earth
Enjoy your time of day as well

4280594 Hi! I am transmasculine! I have been called a "cuntboy!" Not often, but on at least two different occasions. It happens.

So hopefully that clears up your problem.

I suspect it's slightly less common just because the "cuntboy" fetish and associated porn are slightly less common. I certainly see more "futa" stories here on the site, for example, so people aren't as into the fetish and don't fling the term it around as much. But it is out there and it does get used towards trans men.

4280610 Alright, then I apologize to you as well. Thank you for bringing in evidence to where there was none!

4279853
This is the most informative guide I've ever read!
And I've read a looooooot of guides on the subject.

This is a useful reference. I have several comments, but I'll probably combine them with some tangential questions and post a separate topic. It won't be for a while, though (my schedule is booked solid for the next couple of weeks).

The one thing I will say here is that the term "trap" is not in any way "usually furry", nor did it originate in the fandom; and neither did furry fandom invent "cuntboy". I don't think it's appropriate to portray a fandom as anti-trans like this. I know dozens of furry transgender people who would likely find this very insulting, even though I'm sure it was not intended that way.

4283747

the term "trap" is not in any way "usually furry", nor did it originate in the fandom

I think you're conflating things?

Trap: A term from (???)

Noted re: "cuntboy" however. If you could point me to an actual source that would be nice.

However, while I think you're reading into it even more than is there, and I think interpreting it as you did is actually a bit of a stretch, it is not intended to insult the furry fandom or label it as anti-trans, and has further been amended to reflect the lack of source.

I have several comments, but I'll probably combine them with some tangential questions and post a separate topic.

Whatever the case, I'd like to use them to continue to improve my OPs in any way I can, if I can. See post 4.

4279872

3) Gender identification

I'll use this and credit you, okay?

4283905
I'd rather you didn't though I'm suspecting they'll find it out anyway.

4283920

Rather I didn't which, use it or credit you?

4283935
Credit. You can use it if you want, though.

4283937

Okay.

4283872
Great!

Noted re: "cuntboy" however. If you could point me to an actual source that would be nice.

To make a claim like "furries coined the word 'cuntboy'," the onus is on the claimant to provide a reliable source. There are certainly a lot of furry images out there which use the term, but this is primarily because there are a ton of furry images (both sexual and nonsexual) of transgender characters. This is equally true for pony fandom. Urban dictionary's definitions don't refer to furry fandom, and a Google image search for "cuntboy art" or "cuntboi art" turn up examples from many fandoms: no fandom at all, BDSM fetish, TG fetish, furry, MLP, homestuck, Mobian, etc. A search for "cuntboy" on DA returns mostly human examples of drawings and photoshops. I've known some FtM who self-identify with the term.

But most importantly, the origin doesn't, and shouldn't, even matter. I don't think describing a slur and then pointing at a fandom that supposedly invented it is fair to ponies in that fandom, or other tangentially related fandoms (like this one).

4284813

To make a claim like "furries coined the word 'cuntboy'," the onus is on the claimant to provide a reliable source.

This is true of debate, but I was not having an argument with you. I was asking you to correct me, if you can, meanwhile changing the source to "???" to indicate that I don't know, i.e. I started with the assumption you were right that the entry was inaccurate.

There really is no need for this tone here.

4284843
I am very sorry! I am not trying to take any negative "tone" at all, I promise. The problem with written communication is that all the visual cues like actual for-reals smiling and not-sarcasm-face are not visible, so it is easy to infer hostile intent when none is present.

Also I am only human wolf pony, so I may make mistakes in how I represent myself. Please accept my humble apologies if I have offended. I greatly appreciate all of the effort you are putting in here, and it is especially useful to me since a lot has changed in the past decade in terminology. (I agree that "transsexual" was always a misnomer, so it's nice to see that term has fallen out of favor at least in terms of the structure of the word itself.)

Also it's especially easy for me to mess up due to the medication I'm on, so as a warning in case I am stupid again, my short-to-long-term memory transitions are pretty weak.

Kudos to Proper for the very informative post! It was a great read, and will be a great resource to link to in the future. It can sometimes be a little intimidating to ask questions (even here!) for risk of offending someone, so it's great to see all this information laid out in handy reference format.

Has there been any thought (by Proper, or by anyone, really) to doing more of these? There's some groups, asexuals for instance, who probably deal with a lot of misinformation as well. Or there was that locked thread a month or two ago about confusion over bisexuality vs pansexuality. I'm bi and I still don't completely understand the difference. Or heck, there may not be much misinformation about homosexuality in this group, but I'm sure that supporters would still find an FAQ useful.