Hi folks, ChangelingLumin here with yet another Badfic Review. Today we find ourselves with another gem by Cam187, called...

Camerons Ponyville Misadventures 3

I would have done the first, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet.

Today's story has a sad back story folks. Apparently the author couldn't handle the critics and he quit.

Sad to say, nothing of value was lost, so lets turn the lights down, have a drink, and get ready for a rotten good time.

I was standing in front of the mirror in my room, looking at myself. I had dirty-blonde hair with a leather jacket on with a white t-shirt underneath. I wore black finger-less gloves, that perfectly matched my leather jacket. I had on blue jeans and black shoes. I heard someone, or somepony walk in.

OH MY GOD!! FINALLY OUR PROTAGONIST HAS A FACE!!!

“Who is it?” I yelled from my room.
“It's Austin.” He yelled back.

Sadly, the dialog makes me believe they look like this...

I think this is the fourth time I've used this. I would use other jokes, but this one just seems to get the point across.

I walked out of my room and walked to him. He had brown hair with the face of Piers Nevans (from Resident Evil 6. same haircut, too), a black t-shirt, black jeans, and black-and-white sneakers.

Agent Piers makes his appearance once again. Still boring, still uninteresting...

“Hey Austin. How's it going?” I asked, smiling at him.
“Pretty good, Cam.” He replied. “You?”
“Same.” I replied. “How's the others?”
“They're good. They left to get something to eat.” He told me.

Oh come on author, at least try to give them some character. This dialog is terrible, at least put some effort into it.

“Okay.” I walked out, looking around me. Same old Ponyville, full of joy. Y'know, I wish Earth was this way, instead of a bunch of jerks. You know what I mean? I walked around Ponyville. Then I saw Nick, Andrew, Dillon, and Dominic. I walked to them.

Would this have something to do with the critics Cam187, I FEEL THIS HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE CRITICS!

“Hey, Cam!” Andrew said. He was the tallest of the five of us. He had a muscle shirt on with blue jeans and white sneakers. His hair was short and curly. Yeah, I know most of us wear blue jeans. I find it odd, too. I just get used to it.

It seems more of our colorful cast has made it onto the set.

Andrew our resident Jew, makes his graceful reappearance.

“Hey, Andrew. What are you guys getting?” I asked them.

Okay scratch that last pic, our protagonist looks like this..

“Still deciding on it.” Dillon answered, in his usual quiet tone. He was as tall as my chest. And I am about the height of Andrew's chest! Dillon had on a blue long-sleeved shirt with dark-blue jeans and blue sneakers. His hair was wavy and was high above his eyebrows.

Dillon seems to have gotten a color change. Why so blue?

I would be too, if I was caught in this story.

“Yeah, we're not sure.” Dominic spoke up. He was about as tall as Dillon, but an inch smaller. Dominic was the smallest in the group. He has Mexican skin (I had to say it because if I said he was “black-and-white”, you'd think he's a penguin). Dominic has on a black muscle shirt with blue jeans and black sneakers. His hair was blonde and was very short.

Dominic seems to have went through a change as well...

Not only is he a Black and White Italian, he is also a Penguin.

“I have food in my house, ya know.” I told them.

Shut up please.

“Oh, okay. Didn't know.” Nick replied. Nick was as tall as me. He had a bunch of freckles on his face. He wore a black-and-gold shirt with tan jeans and yellow sneakers. His hair was dark-blonde and was so long that it covered his eyebrows.

And Nick...

“Come on.” I told them, as I walked with them to my house. They walked in.
“Hey Cam, you coming?” I heard Austin ask.

“No thanks. I'll be walking around town.” I told him, and I closed the door. I walked for a while, and decided to sit in an alley to take a break. I saw a few shadows stretch from behind and turned around.

Did our protagonist just teleport...

They looked like the diamond dogs, but weren't really “diamond”, if you know what I mean. They were just normal (not ordinary) dogs. They walked to me.

HA

“Need a haircut, kid?” He said, as he slowly began to walk from me. I slowly backed off, feeling very threatened. He sounded menacing. Then suddenly, one of his friends tackled me and pinned me down. I struggled and tried to break free, but to no avail. The same dog pulled out a switchblade and held it to my throat.

Yes sir, I could use a haircut...

“How about a nice haircut right here?” He said, as he smiled. I began to yell and shout, for anyone. I heard one of them say “Shut him up, for Celestia's sake! Shut him up!”, and I felt a handkerchief being shoved in my mouth, muffling my screams. I closed my eyes tight, hoping this will stop. But I heard fast footsteps, with shouts and swears. I opened my eyes, and saw all five of my friends on top of a vehicle they came from, grabbing the dogs from the windows and trying to pull them out. But the dogs began to drive away, and my friends ran to me.

Wait a minute!

Drive away?

Since when did they have vehicles?

“Holy hell, Cam!” Austin grabbed me. I looked at him.

And then he threw him on the ground.

“Wh-What's wrong?” I asked him. He pointed to my throat. I lightly touched my throat with my fingers, and held my fingers in front of me. My fingers had blood smeared on them. I saw Andrew kneel down before me.
“Cameron, did they pull a blade on you?” He asked me, sounding very worried.

“Yeah.” I nodded, looking away, trying to hold back tears. Never, in my life, have I been jumped.
“Hey.” Andrew said quietly, as he turned my head at him. He put his hand on my shoulder. “It's okay. They won't hurt you anymore.”
They carried me inside and cleaned me up. Hopefully, those dogs will leave me alone.

And that's all I can handle...

And this was the first chapter!

And now for the bin awards...

This one is self explanatory. No plot, bland characters and overall general stupidity.

The Diamond Dogs, have earned this one, as well as our protagonists thoughts on the so called jerks on Earth.

No effort whatsoever.

Again, awarded for the Diamond Dogs. They are supposed to be mindless jokes that like gems. Not gangsters.

This has been done, so many times before, and most of them don't even work.

The author has been known to delete comments, and go on rampages.