And now, a sequel to a story that I'd previously reviewed. Behold: Every Cloud has a Silver Lining. I was hesitant to do this one, as I have yet to finish Clueless in Equestria fully, but I overcame it with a promise to get this group rolling, Godcat-damnit, and that's what I intend to do. Because of that, though, I won't devolve into much spoilerific territory, if at all. That WILL NOT affect the grade in any way, however.

Genre is Comedy**, Human, and Slice of Life. That being said, I feel there should be an AU tag, but beggars can't be choosers.

Wordcount is 72, 588 words long, divided up into a snug 32 chapters, and each one is numbered at that. I've read the first three chapters.

Grammar: 10/10, no noticeable errors at all.

Characterization: There's one chapter devoted to Trixie, the other to Luna and Celestia solely; these being the first two I read. For the shortness of focus, they are rather in tune with their canon selves. It feels just a bit stilted, but with what happened in-story up to that point, it's something minor that I can excuse. 10/10.

Use of show canon: Transmogrification spells, Trixie's magic shows, Twilight's princess status, and Sweetie Drops and Lyra being friends, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a nod to its possible branches outside of Manehatten and Ponyville are mentioned, and the story starts on Canterlot via Friendship Express. Lyra's human fixation is given a little nod, and canon is expanded in that there's a muscle in a unicorn's head that, when flexed, releases their magic via the horn. Age-regression spells are also mentioned, and there's a nod to the Princess Big Mac meme with a colt wanting to be a princess. 7.5/10.

Plot consistency: 5/10; features a human-turned-colt willingly going to school, then Celestia and Luna chatting. Only 5 points because it changed characters between chapters with no warning at all.

Use of OCs: Two; David, who uses the alias Silver Lining, and Rough Draft make up the major OCs. I have to say, they've changed quiiiiite a bit from their last appearance in the prequel fic. 7/10 here; one matured, and the other got giddy, but both things can be excused.

Coherency: 10/10; smooth despite the jarring character shift. I understood it perfectly.

Extra things depending on genre: Slice of Life and Human are present, though the latter less so because Celestia explicitly stated that no humans remained on Equestria due to extinction or something, save David who willingly turned (the author compared it to an American being raised by a Japanese family; the understanding of being human won't go away, though it is hidden from most ponyfolk because it would boggle their minds sideways. Thus the tag is justified.) SoL nets a 6/10, and Human nets a *7.5/10.

And now, the verdict. The story scores 65/80, or 81%. It passes, but does have its weak points. It's one of those guilty pleasures I'd revisit… in this case, after finishing up the prequel first. As I see it, a slight dip in quality between stories, but not overly so. Flawed, yes, but bearable.

*Score has been revised for human tag, with justification.
**Grade revised because a tag was removed.

6109256

So now all we have to do is wait for whoever claimed the last story to review it, then we open up the submissions floodgates?

6109306 Mhm. Speaking of, I'll contact the claimer for Apples shortly and report back to what he says.

6109256
David, the human, the star, is apparently not enough to justify a human tag. Interesting.

6109537 Well, the human tag is used weirdly, I'll give it that. Has a Human element to it, but the human is become colt.

6109546
I thought that was standard fare for HiE fics, even the ones where the human becomes a pony...

6109567 Well, some use it strangely, let's just leave it at that.

6109572
I'm sorry, but that is pretty nonsense.

I have a story, I stamp it 'American'. In it, an american is adopted into a Japanese family. They try to raise this boy as a Japanese, but he/she is still american and has that origin. They know English. They understand the glory of pizza and hotdogs. This will never change. The focus of the story is that struggle between cultures.

American is a perfect tag for this story.

6109715 *nods* I understand.

6109938
So... you'll revise that score?

6109980 I added a note that explains how the tag is justified; I'll revise the score shortly.

6109985
So.... it still does not fit, in your book. The story would be enhanced with the tags removal, is this correct?

6109985
I feel I should point out that according to the rules of the site (https://www.fimfiction.net/rules), not tagging a story human for having any human content, any amount at all, is against the rules. Just to be clear, you appear to be encouraging the breaking of the site rules.

6109256
...Upon reading this again, I have to ask - why are you reviewing this after reading maybe 10% of it? I'm a little confused by the goal of this review.

6110679 Sorry. :( I'll avoid it in the future (Revised the score again, btw.)
6111028 I followed the three-chapters rule for two reasons: one) I read a little of the prequel and did not want to get into spoiler territory. 2) IRL time constraints on my part. 3) Three chapters for a story, if it has that amount, is an imposed minimum, unless there are exceptions to the rule. Somebody said the first chapter is the hook, as it has to live up to expectations. Which this one did, in all honesty.

6112040
The only reason the story didn't pass is because of tag scores. One of them because you don't agree with a mandatory tag (I don't know why else it isn't 10/10, you haven't actually said. I should point out that the reasoning you did give was false. Humans were never declared 'gone extinct'.). You said it fails as a comedy. This tag has been removed and no longer exists. It isn't a comedy. It is a slice of life and a stranger in a strange land situation.

You never qualified the score it got for slice of life. Most who have read and commented on this series, this story and otherwise, have called it basically nothing but a slice of life, a cake if you dare. The personal struggles of a person dealing with their life is the main focus of the story. Most of the challenges faced by the protagonist are laughably mundane, as befits slice of life. Get a house, get into school, do well in school, make friends, and so on.

Then there's the laughable idea that changing subjects in a third person story between chapters needs some kind of 'warning'. No, swapping characters between chapters, or even paragraphs, can, and is, done in professional novels. It's third person. The warning is given by the characters acting and the setting that is provided.

In the end, you laud the story, then fail it. Your score does not reflect your words.

6112087
I see.

In the end, you laud the story, then fail it. Your score does not reflect your words.

I am trying not to be biased here (alas, bias is impossible), I am trying to be fair. I have indeed lauded a story for aspects, but it failed in other capacities. Now, I'll go on a limb and say you paid some measure of attention to my previous reviews post-Clueless. Benkei: Untold ran into the same problem.

You do, however, bring a valid point in scoring a tag that's mandatory in this instance. I'll need to speak with other reviewers about it, but I'll see what I can do.

(I swear I feel like I've fallen into a pitfall just now... )

6112381
Fair enough. The comedy tag no longer exists. The story passes by your math and figuring. Thank you.

6112424
Alright, will remove Comedy grade.

6112040
True, on the matter of the first chapters being a hook. Though, stories can start with one tone and shift to another, along with other developmental changes. But I asked what the goal of the review was, because I wondered: Is this supposed to be an analysis of the overall quality? Is it intended to serve as a guide to which stories are worth reading through?

6112594

Is this supposed to be an analysis of the overall quality? Is it intended to serve as a guide to which stories are worth reading through?

Yes.

Also, did you refresh the page? Review got updated... again.