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A Muffin for Muffins by BatwingCandlewaxxe
Drama, Tragedy
28k words

Grammar: 7/10
Most of this story is written phenomenally. A few mistakes here and there, but decent otherwise. The problem here is, the beginning of the story is written intentionally bad. It makes sense in context, but it can be a struggle to get through those first few chapters. Once you get through that, it’s clear skies from there out. Mostly.
Characterization: 9.5/10
This story starts with the bare bones of what Ditzy is in canon. Along with the grammatical horror, this makes it difficult to get through the first few chapters. Once again, once you get past that obstacle, this story has an excellent character arc for Ditzy, with just enough eccentricity to make it feel personal.
Use of Canon: 9/10
This story takes an often poorly used character, and gives her the spotlight she deserves. There’s enough canon references thrown in there to keep it rooted in canon, but it still explores Derpy and the underlying mechanics of the MLP universe in a way that leaves you wanting more after it’s all over.
Consistency: 10/10
It’s the mark of a good story when you can build a character up from being terrible to one that’s incredibly deep and dynamic. This story uses a premise which builds upon itself until it all crashes down upon itself in the most satisfying way. And by satisfying I mean it will completely rip your heart out.
Use of OCs: 10/10
Ditzy gets her turn in the spotlight, but there’s a robust cast of OCs working with canon characters to flesh out this story into a living, breathing organism. Redline Proof, Compound Sigil, Meadowbrook; they all give Ditzy fun characters to work around, even if she only meets one of them in person.
Coherence: 8/10
Nothing I haven’t gone over before. The beginning is hard to read through, but once you get through that, it clears itself up and flows smoothly until the bitter end.
Extras by Genre
Tragedy: 5/5
Oh god, the feels. Without spoiling anything, the ending to this story is both so inevitable, but you just don’t want to see it happen, and when it does, Sweet Celestia have mercy on your tear glands.
Drama: 4.5/5
A little weaker on the drama side, but there’s enough going on with Ditzy to keep the reader thoroughly entertained.

Total: 63/70 ACCEPTED

Notes: Well done, Batwing. Not necessarily everyone’s cup of tea, but an excellent read for those eho are interested.

5976771

Thanks for the review, I’m glad that you liked it, and I hope other people do.

The first few entries were tricky to write, trying to get the right balance of readability, while still conveying the mental disability of the character. Fortunately, I had good editorial help, because the first draft of that part was almost entirely unreadable.

Kind of curious where you found bad grammar in the “enhanced intelligence” phase, if you don’t mind pointing it out.

5976821
I don’t remember exactly where, but the most I noticed was a few misspellings here and there. But honestly, I would keep them in as a form of unintentional foreshadowing.

5976892

Actually, if the misspellings are the ones I’m thinking of, they are intentional foreshadowing. I threw in some deliberate spelling/punctuation/grammar errors for just that purpose; starting just after Ditzy starts getting the migraines more frequently, and around the time she starts having seizures. Anything earlier than that is a mistake on my part.