EVERYTHING... WRONG... WITH...

Pinkie's Popeyes Preference by Prince Conjure

Spoilers!

(duh)

I had to ask Twilight to settle in with her until it was repaired. Normally, I would be grateful for such a courteous action.

You're grateful that you asked her? *DING*
I

And I was.

Yeah, you really are grateful you asked her. Need to rephrase. *DING*
II

She fantasizes about her books in her dreams. Sometimes it’s screeches and battle cries, sometimes it's passionate love sounds.

What. The. Fuck. Does she read at midnight!? *DING*
III

“Twilight… I swear you make me want to choke a puppy…”

NO! NOT THE PUPPIES! ANYTHING BUT THE PUPPIES! YOU DARE CHOKE

THESE INNOCENT CUTIES!? I'm disappointed in you, Sunset! *DI-DI-DING*
VI

I walked to the fridge and opened it slightly.

Oh, what's inside?

Pepsi.

Ooh... you having flashbacks? *DING*
VII

“Good thing I’m not thirsty,” I said annoyedly.

Chuckled at this line. I can also confirm that annoyedly is a word. Still mad you would even think of chocking a puppy. >:3 *GNID*
VI

Noticing how hungry I was, I reached for the KFC bucket and pulled it out of the fridge.

I see where this is going... *DING*
VII

I closed the fridge, turned to the right, and met face to face with an unamused Pinkie Pie.

You know u done goofed if Pinkie is actually not amused. *DING*
VIII

“GAH!” I yelled, tossing the bucket into the air and jumping backwards. “Pinkie, what the heck!?”

;-; Th-the chickens! What a waste... *DI-DING*
X

“What are you doing here!?” I asked, giving up my quiet tone. “It’s 1:30 in the morning!”

Shh, Sunset Shimmer... you should know better to not question Pinkie... *DING*
Also, I'm pretty sure Sunset already gave up her quiet tone when she "yelled." *DING*
XII

“I put those buckets of chicken in there knowing that Twilight would wake you up, you’d leave your bed, you’d check the fridge, see Pepsi and bail, check the freezer and choose which bucket of chicken you like most!” said Pinkie, all in one breath.

Careful Pinkie, you're stalker is showing. *DING*
XIII

“How could you have possibly known that?!”

“Duh,” she said. “Maud told me.”

“Maud?”

“Yeah, with her Maud Sense.”

... Huh, you proved me wrong. Darn it. *GNID*
XII

“So let me run that logic back to you. You left your home. You got into your car. You drove however far to the nearest Popeye’s and KFC. You entered said Popeye’s and KFC. You stood in line. You ordered your food. You waited for your food. You received two hot buckets of chicken. You took those hot buckets of chicken back into your car, drove to Twilight’s house, took those hot buckets of chicken out of your car, brought them into Twilight’s house, and put it… into her freezer.”

HAHAHAHAHA!

*GNID*
XI

“Yeah, that’s about the gist of it,” said Pinkie with a nod.

HAHAHA! *GNID*
X

“Pinkie, you’re insane!” I yelled. “Absolutely insane!”

SSH, Sunset... stay quiet. You ruined my laughing fit. Also before I get back to it, the period must be a comma. *DI-DING*
XII

Twilight came into the kitchen and cocked her shotgun.

HAHAHAHA-- OH HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS! *DING*
XIII

“Who’s in here!” she yelled. ”I better see hands!”

What if you saw hooves? That didn't help... *DING*
XIV

Once she verified it was us, she lowered the barrel of her shotgun.

Thank God. *DING*
XV

“More importantly, why do you own a shotgun?” I asked.

Nice question, Sunset! What will Twilight say?

“W-Why do you own a shotgun?” asked Twilight defensively.

... *Facepalm*

*DING*
XVI

“What kind of comeback is that? What is even going on here?” I asked.

Silly, Pinkie gave you a test and turns out, Twilight has a freakin' shotgun! *DING*
XVII

“Aw, man,” I said, rubbing my belly. “Now I want some chicken…”

(SKIP TO 2:42) *DING*
XVIII

(aside from a few quotes I’m pretty sure Adolf Hitler said…).

This. *DIDIDIDIDIDIDiDIDIDIDIDIDIDiDIDING*
XXXIV

“Turn around,”

Crap... sorry, I just watched a horror movie recently. *DING*
XXXV

When I turned around, a table mysteriously appeared with two boxes on the table. One labeled KFC and one Popeyes.

AHHHH-- wait. *Ahem* I'm sorry, carry on. *DING*
XXXVI

I needed a break from that girl’s crazy.

What's a crazy? *DING*
XXXVII

When I reached for the door handle, an electric shock surged through my hand, making me yelp in pain.

Ouch... *DING*
XXXVIII

I vowed right there that I’d definitely kill Pinkie the next time I saw her.

Heh. Lel. *GNID*
XXXVII

The left was KFC, the right, Popeyes. They were both giving off a very warm feeling, meaning they had just been prepared.

Damn it, now I wanna eat. BRB m8. *DING*
XXXVIII

“Pinkie didn’t walk into the house…” I said. “So she didn’t go out and get them. I didn’t hear the microwave going off, so she didn’t prepare them that way…”

What did we discussed about Pinkie earlier, Sunset? *DING*
XXXIX

“Get on with it, already!” said the note,

See? No questions, just get on with it. *DING*
XL

“It tastes like… Pepsi…”

Cue the Nazi Flashbacks. *DI-DI-DING*
XLIII

“Did they get their hands on Equestrian magic or something?”

No, it's just Pinkie being Pinkie and doing things like a Pinkie. *DING*
XLIV

I couldn’t tell which was which. If I picked the KFC one, I had reason to believe that Pinkie would actually keep me in this kitchen.

She was insane, after all.

No she was Pinkie.

*DING*
XLV

In a flash, a lot of things happened. My face was nearly burnt off from the searing heat of the rice and beans. My eardrums felt like they were hit with a flashbang, and I fell backwards, screaming because of the heat on my face.

OH MY CELESTIA, THEY (almost) KILLED SUNSET! YOU BASTARDS! *DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DI-DING*
LII

“Yeah,” said Pinkie. I flashed her a look of tired agony. “I just wanted you to see the excellence that is Popeyes!”

“I can’t entertain that with a proper response right now,” I said.

Duh, you almost died. Of course, you can't. *DING*
LIII

“Soooo?” asked Pinkie. “Was it good?”

“It was good, Pinkie Pie,” I said.

“That’s good.” She was silent for a few seconds. “Do you-”

“Pinkie, if you mention Pepsi, I will actually kill you.”

“Shoot.”

Replace the period from "asked Pinkie." to a comma.
THEN EVERYONE DIED. The End. *DI-DING*
LV

Total Sin Count: 55

Sentence: I got a Bucket O' Chicken
(I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps. I'm a woman,
I like my men dangerous, mysterious... you want to be my lover!?
Earn it... SEDUCE ME!)

5897542 Guess you're right 'bout that.

HOORAY! :D