EWW: "My Own Strength"
By: Aliucon
WARNING: Spoilers Ahead!
(Duh!)

Single Chapter

1&2. Wow, not even two words in and we already have a sin with the chapter name, I mean Calling it Chapter One, or One would be unoriginal and still a sin, yet I sense dramatic irony so this is a double sin! *ding* *ding*

The night (and a marvelous one at that)

3&4. Yes, of course, it's Princess Luna, she would always make the sky just the way that she wanted it to be, just like Princess Celestia. *Ding* *Ding*

had been going for hours now, during which the aforementioned princess kept watch, searching for signs of trouble with the aid of a telescope, on the balcony of a particularly high tower.

5. Who uses a telescope anymore? Get with the times Luna. *Ding*

Nothing worth noting turned up, no trouble or riot seemed to stir under her moon.

6&7. Wow, I can practically smell the dramatic irony and jinx coming. *Ding* *Ding*

This was supposed to be a good thing, but it didn’t help the alicorn at all with one of the most recent mysteries she had in her hand. One in which the stallion that intruded in her thoughts just now was most likely going to update her.

8. Wait, hold on, did you say HAND?

*slams head on table*

Okay, where do you live? I need to know so that way I can slap you in the face for missing such a little detail like this. *Ding*

Luna turned her head around. Certainly a royal guard, respectfully lowering himself, as they usually did.

9. Of course it's a royal guard, who else would it be, Twilight? Discord? The Main 6? Chrysalis? Spike? Flash Sentry? Starlight Glimmer? *Ding*

10. Yes, a royal guard, poor folks, they're never named, get back into your red shirt and useless background characters with no names corner! *Ding*

9. At least they are still respectful to the princess, #Manners *sin is removed*

10. That being said, try being a little bit more creative, have them fluster around if they're new, shake it up! *Ding*

It wasn’t one of her personal guards, but one from the castle itself, an earth pony with white fur and golden armor. She definitely had trouble telling one of those from similar others, though at least today, she had been expecting a particular one already. The princess lifted one of her hooves, pointing it to the guard.

11. Please don't tell me she expected Flash Sentry... *Ding*

10. That being said, nice description! *sin is removed*

“You may rise. Tell us what thy search uncovered.”
“It was just as you said, Princess.” The guard straightened his front legs, a look of deep concern now visible in his hardened features. “Princess Celestia is nowhere to be seen around the palace, nor did I get any response from her personal study or room. It’s just the same thing as yesterday.”
She groaned, her head momentarily going back to the telescope. She had already made sure the places in the visible spectrum of it were safe, but she just wanted something to do as she thought what to do or what to say next.

9,8,7. Gah! Your description is just so incredibly amazing! Mess up and stop making me take away sins, please! *sins are removed*

Celestia’s actions could be pretty cryptic to her subjects,

8. Whew, I was starting to get worried there for a second, okay, that is the biggest understatement, ever. *Ding*

and it wasn’t uncommon for her decisions, if told aloud, to cause some commotion, before the realization settled that whatever she spoke was indeed working out, or was really the best way to deal with a problem. Free Discord in order to reform him? Pretty dangerous and questionable, but it did work out in the end, at least on the surface.

9. Some commotion? *Ding*

10. Yeah, sure, reforming Discord worked out great, I mean name ONE good thing that he did because I can name ONE bad things he did (betraying the Main 6) *Ding*

Trust the fate of an over-a-thousand-year-long-lost-empire to her young, inexperienced protégée? Even Luna herself had doubts back then, and it worked better than expected.

11. Ah, you must be referring to Princess Alicorn Twilight Sparkle of Friendship and Magic. Yes, that's definitely working out... *Ding*

That might lead most ponies into a sense of trust and security, to the point where they wouldn’t be contesting any of the sun princess’ decisions anymore. But fortunately (or unfortunately?), Luna knew better. Her sister was blessed with knowledge and power, to be sure, but that didn’t make it impossible for her to fail. And not having even a hint of what she was trying to do this time didn’t bode well in Luna’s head. She wanted to at least know what her sister was doing out there in the middle of her night without her knowledge, and why she had done this more than once.

12. Yes, don't you dare question Princess Celestia or she will banish you to the moon for 1000 years! *Ding*

11. Luna recognizes her sister's flaws, good job! *sin removed*

Her stomach was slowly turning. She was worried.

12. Oh, I thought that it might have been Taco- oh wait, sorry, my manager informs me that I can't use trademarked names.

What I meant to say was a famous taco making food industry chain shop franchise that gives you stomach problems, most notably Taco Bell, I thought that it was that. *Ding*

“We thank thee for the report. You may now leave this matter to me.” She enjoined at last.
Luna couldn’t tell for sure, but by the light sound of the rustling armor and the lack of any galloping away from the place, he seemed unsure. Perhaps he had been expecting to be sent in a search party after the princess?

13. THEE?

*pulls out gun*

Okay, tell me where to aim for your head, please. *Ding*

That seemed to be enough. Soon after this, the guard trotted away, leaving the alicorn to her own devices.

13. I smell a very subtle reference in here, but I can't tell what it is. So plus and minus one sin instantly.

It was still a marvelous night, but she couldn’t possibly enjoy it as well after the news. Sure, it wasn’t such a complete shock: she had been suspicious before, otherwise she wouldn’t have asked the aid of the guard in confirming what she thought. But still, it didn’t make her concern any less powerful.

14,15,16. try using a different adjective than before. *Ding* *Ding*

She decided to call out again, a bit louder this time, but not quite traditional Canterlot Voice yet.
“Sister!”

15. Ah yes, the Royal Canterlot voice, it would be a sin to use it, so good job on not using it. *sin removed*

“Fair enough. Why did thou not announce thy leave, then?

16. *Sighs* *Ding*

Bonus: The writing style is just too good so...
*sims removed*

Total: 0-15
Sentence: Alone in the Woods... with the Sun (Princess).

5868678

While I'm flattered, some of that stuff is actually pretty valid. Especially the chapter name and hand usage. But heck, I can get more sins than that out of my own story. I'm.. not sure how many, my old reviews tend to have low sin counts, but the point is, don't feel like you need to take it easy on another member.

Though if that is how you feel, then thank you very much. xD

5868697
Yeah, I wouldn't have. A lot of the places he removed sins I'd have added them.

6219145

That's good! I can take the punch, since I always knew my writing to be subpar, even while slowly improving elsewhere. And, well, these reviews are only entertaining if you poke as many valid holes in them as possible, right?

If you've been lurking for a while, you should totally throw your hat on the ring and try to write a EWW yourself. We have a lot of stories on the folder of requests. It can be a lot of fun, and you seem to have the critical sense to do it.

6219182
Hmm. Mayhaps it'll give me the juice I need to get moving on a project or two. Consider it done!