Everything Wrong
With
"Sweetie Bot"
(by Mr Allan)

in 5600 words or less

Spoilers!!

(duh)

______________________________________________________

Contains many short stories so it's not ONE story per say.
Note: May contain other tags later on.

Indeed? Then why is the story marked as "complete" already? I'd accept it was something placed while the first few stories came in and more were added later, but there is only a single chapter in this fic, reinforcing the idea this was all settled in it at once. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 1

Sweetie Belle was outside playing with her two very best friends when it happened. She was just having some very light fun when a spell from another pony came blasting through the air and then hit her right onto her hair line.

Out of all the adjectives to use for 'fun', 'light' is certainly not one I expected to see. What does 'light fun' entail, anyway? Just saying she was having fun would have worked fine. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 2

“I’m so sorry, so much, I’m so very sorry miss,” the pony said.

I get that this is probably not an important character, but I can't picture the scene in my head if I know nothing about this pony at all. All we can infer is that it's a unicorn, but we don't even know the gender right off the bat. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 3

“Uh, Sweetie Belle, you’re not bleeding, but your scalp looks like it’s very severely scarred and damaged too as well, I think that you should probably really go see a doctor very soon to get that all fixed up and healed too as well.”

... I'm starting to think Sweetie isn't the only robot in this scene. Seriously, though, no way Apple Bloom or Scootaloo just said THAT in THIS way! *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 4

“Well, alright, fine then, very well,” Sweetie Belle said

Eventually the doctor finally came out. “Your friend is just fine, however there does seem to be one very slight small tiny little problem

I can’t fully ever really explain to you unless you come for me and look for yourself instead.”

3 words for 3 similar or sometimes equal meanings, in the same sentences. This is three much, three fast. Three sins. *(ding!)* *(ding!)* *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 7

“Yes, I know, I honestly didn’t know what to make of it myself,” the doctor said, “But I haven’t told her about her… condition just yet.”

“What is it exactly? What’s wrong with me?” Sweetie Belle said.

Doctor seems to want to keep secrecy about Sweetie's condition yet has no qualms with saying loud and clear to her friends, in front of Sweetie Belle herself, that he hasn't told her about the condition yet, as if taunting with the question. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 8

“Um nothing, it’s just that you’re a bit of something else that’s not a pony…”

As opposed to being mostly something else? You're still something else either way. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 9

“I AM CALM!!! JUST TELL ME WHERE MY ROBOT PARTS ARE EXACTLY, PLEASE!!!” she said. “Okay, it looks like it’s just the top of your head for right now, but since I don’t see any brain I would have to guess that you’re all robot,” Apple Bloom said. Sweetie Belle very gently felt the top of her head with her hoof.

Yes, Sweetie, sure you're calm. Actually, she probably was, since despite the shouting, she did touch the top of her head very gently, showing self-control. ... But then it just makes this feel inconsistent, especially because she was definitely shouting earlier than this. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 10

Also, why say "for right now" only to infer right after that Sweetie is a full-on robot? What, did Apple Bloom momentarily forgot that being a robot is not an infectious disease or something? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 11

“Yeah, my guess is that her accident made it possible for the top layers of ‘skin’ to peel back and reveal her true real robotic self underneath.”

... Sigh.

*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 12

“But how come we never noticed this before? I mean if she were a robot shouldn’t she get all wonky and not work in water? And what about all the time that she felt pain and bled? What about her casting magic spells and whatnot such like that stuff and sorts of things? Huh? Can you explain any of that to us at all?”

The doctor scratched his skin, “Look, I don’t know all the answers, but if I were to be guessing then I would have to say her skin protected her from the water, and the other parts like food and bleeding were all just an illusion to make her seem life like, but to what end though exactly I don’t know, but I would highly suggest and recommend that you take this whole entire matter to some pony that you can trust and would have far better answer than I possibly ever could.”

Did it just happen 3 or more times within two paragraphs? OK, I need to stop addressing these at some point. Just let me multiply the sins by 3 so far because 3 sounds appropriate at this point. *(lotsadings!)*

Sin Tally: 36

Also, how exactly would the food and bleeding be some sort of illusion? Does Sweetie Belle inherently makes some holograms which she consumes or act as liquids in some way? There is absolutely no way she could spend her whole life doing that without noticing, and surely she'd have shared meals or have meals prepared for her which she then had to eat, thus the food itself wasn't an illusion, and if the skin around her is real, tissue like that can and does hold blood, making the blood also real. If you meant they just are artificial or just help produce the illusion that she's an actual pony, then that had to be explained a tad bit more in that sense. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 37

And lastly, Sweetie Belle's friend did not, in fact, bring up food in their question, so the doctor didn't really need to infer anything on that one. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 38

And with that said he left them completely alone in the room together.

The only way this makes sense is if the hospital has a jukebox and they're playing Fall Out Boy right now.*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 39

“Do you think that the rest of my skin would come off as easily as my head did?”

“Um, honestly I don’t know, do you want to try that out?”

“Yes, I do want to try it out, let’s start with my hoof,”

Didn't we establish she does feel pain earlier? And she's completely OK with being skinned alive either way? ... OK. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 40

And with that said they slowly went over to Twilight’s castle

... Why slowly? I suppose they don't want Sweetie to undergo too much stress after the damage she received, but it's never explained. If it's not obvious why you're using an adjective, or any word for that matter, you need to explain or give context to the audience. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 41

Spike said slowly opening the door for them, “Oh, hello there, it’s you, what do you want here exactly?” he said. “Uh, we want to talk to Twilight of course, duh, what else is there to do here anyways exactly though?” Apple Bloom said.

Yeah, no one cares about you, Spike, get out of the way.

*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 42

And with that said he went inside and then quickly came out again, “Twilight says that luckily enough she has some time for you right now so you can come in if you want to that is,”

They just said they wanted to! You don't need to ask twice!*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 43

“Well hello there, girls, it’s nice to see you again, it sure has been a very long time since we’ve met so I just want to say this, hey, what’s up?” she said.

This sentence. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 44

“Uh Twilight, we have a very big huge problem with our friend here,” Apple Bloom said. “I don’t think that it’s that big and huge,” Scootaloo said. “Well it is, just trust me on this, okay?

"I think this problem is humongously gigantic!" "Well, I don't think it's that much enormously colossal." *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 45

Also, this is actually a fair view. Scootaloo doesn't think that Sweetie being a robot is that much of a problem. That's an interesting view- that is immediately thrown aside by Apple Bloom like it's nothing. Wow. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 46

“Well can you please tell me when and where though exactly?”

“Uh, outside, just earlier today after a spell hit her right on her hair line.”

That's oddly specific. We read on the beginning that it was indeed on the hair line that Sweetie was hit, but if I was describing a friend's injury, I certainly wouldn't have said or noticed that over just saying "a spell hit her in the head". *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 47

Also, the following few sentences make it hard or impossible to discern who is exchanging words with Twilight. It could be only Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, or both alternating between themselves, and you'd never notice. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 48

“Yeah, like how can she bleed and how she can be water proof and how she can do magic and also how she can feel pain too as well and a whole lot more.”

“Well perhaps the main prime function and directive can help us out,” Twilight said examining her head much closer,

I'm sure all of those things named by the girls are secondary functions to one main function which is unknown for now, and a directive just means the guiding set of rules of a being's existance. It does not directly affect what the being, or robot, is physically capable of doing. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 49

Sweetie Belle, who made you?”

“Uh, I don’t understand the question, can you please repeat it?”

“Computer, Sweetie Belle, Robot, Program, Sweetie Bot, what’s your name?”

If Twilight doesn't know who could possibly have created Sweetie Belle, there is no way she knows how to address it and knows to call it 'Sweetie Bot' of all things. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 50

“My name is SB-0001 Model Zero Point ABXYZ, I was made in STORM Labs, my maker’s name is many, for many were involved in my making, but the primary makers and builders who put my parts together and/or oversaw my making is Professor Richie Hoof, any and all other available information is currently unavailable at this time, please contact the proper ponies for more help.”

Sweetie Bot clearly mentions 'primary makers' in plural before naming just a single maker right after. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 51

Also, you don't use "and/or" to report on a fact. Richie Hoof either did both things or he didn't! *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 52

“What was that? That wasn’t me!!!” Sweetie Belle said.

“But it is, I’m afraid that you are a robot, and if you want answers then we’re going to have to go see the ones that made you,” she said.

Suddenly Sweetie Belle’s skin started to peel off.

So her skin somehow endured years or who knows how much time and abuse without rupturing to the point of revealing her origin, but the day it does, it starts to peel off rapidly and with no direct forces applied to her. Sure. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 53

They tried to think up of a solution to take her where they needed to go without drawing any unwanted attention and they ultimately decided to use a cloaking spell and take her on a wagon to this Richard Hoof who apparently lived in Manehattan somewhere.

Wait, what? How did they come to the conclusion that he was in Manehatten? Nothing that Sweetie Bot said implied this, and even if they were to ask it off-screen, she said on the spot that 'no further information is available' when prompted to speak the first time, so I call BS on this. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 54

Also, why the change from Richie to Richard? Sweetie is a machine: if she was programmed to relay the information that she did at all, surely the person responsible for the project would want his actual, unadulterated name to be on record. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 55

It didn’t take them very long to get there, but with six adults and three children it was quite the sizable group.

So Twilight called in the rest of the Mane 6 for this? Why? Wasn't she actively trying to NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO THEM? What sense does it make to call in more ponies? Not to mention that even if they wanted to help, they just might not be able to if Sweetie does require the person who helped the most in creating her, and none of the Mane 6 sans Twilight is well-versed in machinery anyway. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 56

“He lives here? Are you sure Twilight?” Rainbow Dash said. “Yes, that’s what every book and the control panel of Sweetie Belle says at the very least.”

Wow, every single book in existance has this guy's address? He must be famous beyond belief! *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 57

“To think that I have been living with a robot all these years” Rarity said, “Uh, no offense of course,” she said. “None taken,” Sweetie Belle said.

Still racist. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 58

“Yes? Who is it?” a brown and gray unicorn said popping his head out as he adjusted his glasses. “Uh, are you Richard Hoof, sir?”

“No, I’m Robert Intel Fractal, my brother uses that pseudonym because his true real name is Richard W. Dell, he’s here if you want to speak to him,” the unicorn said, “But I don’t know if he’ll take you in since he’s off of his work right now.”

Why bother with a pseudonym if you're just going to reveal it to anyone that comes around to see him at a moment's notice? It's not even a good pseudonym! The first name is the same! *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 59

Also, Richard Hoof was already kind of dodgy as a pony name, but now that we know it's not even the actual name and, worse, the name itself sounds even less like a pony name of any kind, this deserves a sin.

*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 60

“Well just tell him that it’s very important, the princess of friendship requests that he tells us all that he knows about Sweetie Bot,” Twilight said.

“Wait, what was that again?” Robert said. “I said-,”

“No, I heard you, hold on for just a moment,”

... So... What was the point of that non-confirmation? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 61

and with that they waited for a very long moment until Richard came back,

*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 62

“Well hello there,” said a blue Pegasus with a brown mane and glasses and a scientific white lab coat just like his brother’s, “Nice to see you here, I so rarely have company over these days due to my extreme paranoia and fear of any of my work being stolen which is why I’m always down here, to keep is safe, secure, and sound,”

Luckily, my "extreme" paranoia and fear don't impede me from revealing my place of hiding as well as my motivations for staying here to eight complete strangers that just knocked on my door. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 63

“Well firstly, this robot, well it was originally designed to help other ponies out through an emotionally troubling time of crisis, danger, peril, agony, strife, sorrow, despair, pain and so on, but if I was to prove its use it first must be integrated into a family unit very seamlessly to prove that it could and should be essentially part of a family with only one difference, it would be immortal if the batteries lasted long enough.

This seems kind of backwards. If she's supposed to work as an emotional support, what does integrating into a family accomplishes or proves at all? That it's human (or rather, pony) enough to understand them? I doubt this is the easiest way to gauge just how pony other ponies perceive Sweetie Belle as. And come to think of it, who are you trying to prove this to? Yourself? A patron? A boss? No matter the case, this doesn't seem like the most effective way to get results. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 64

(...) "ultimately it was you and your family that were finally chosen Rarity, but in order to preserve the illusion that she was family you agreed to have your memories wiped, and that also included any friends that you might have told at the time. Since she was meant to be like a real pony she could use whatever energy she ate to be powered, do magic, speak, and so on, "(...)

So, not only can you wipe memories, you could also create a robot that converted organic matter or any edibles into energy and that had every function a normal pony would? Wow, this is amazing, ground-breaking technology right here. ... Why are you putting all this effort in a machine that was created to ultimately ease emotional pain? Granted, this is Equestria and I can definitely see technology here evolving in a much more community-driven, selfless way, but this still feels like overkill. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 65

I could fix her up and make you agree to memory wipes, but this has the problem that is very essential, what if she breaks down? Will I keep having to do this?

I honestly struggled to understand this one. I got it now, but... *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 66

“Even the blood was fake too as well, but I have a feeling that ponies like seeing just a robot, fortunately enough I have a very easy and simple solution, a robotic shell that will make her look like herself, well, mostly,” he said taking pieces from a shelf and very quickly put them on the robot until he was finally done. “There we go, she’s just as good as new again.”

You mean you think ponies like seeing robots as just robots? I doubt many would know how to react to it, since I doubt this happened at all or in a decent scale before. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 67

Also, you didn't know they were coming before they were at your door, Richard, so how come you have just the right spare parts to whip up this outer shell for Sweetie Bot in a few seconds? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 68

“This feels weird and so odd and interesting, but how can I even feel at all?”

“Ah yes, the emotion and feelings were the hardest part of this, but my brother built something called a sympathy chip and together we perfected it.”

Is this a maiden circuit? Is the plot going to turn Saber Marionette J on me? At any rate, programming emotion is just as much hocus pocus in this as it is there. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 69

“That’s very interesting,” the brothers said. “What’s interesting exactly?”

“She’s crying, and we never programmed her to cry, which means that the program for her to learn and know just as a regular pony is working out very well indeed even if the way to cry was already inside her all along of course.”

OK, I can accept that you didn't program her to cry. That'd require water banks to use as tears or something and despite blood not being an issue, it's iffy to store so much liquid into a robot. But then am I to believe that, despite making that decision, you still gave her all capabilities and motions to allow her to one day cry? Then the first point didn't matter at all, and thus this design decision contradicts itself. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 70

She is just a thing, she’s a robot, nothing more or less.”

“No, she’s a pony, a unicorn, a friend, a sister, part of the family.”

“That's exactly what we hoped you would say,” they said smiling,

*(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 71

“Yes, just one more question, how come she could earn her cutie mark, and how come it’s so similar to her friends?” Twilight said. “I must admit the cutie mark does perplex me especially since we didn’t program anything into her and a cutie mark shouldn’t be earned by any non-pony being, but clearly Sweetie Belle here defies all previous rules, she’s a very interesting exception.”

Twilight's most excellent question is brushed aside. The brothers might not know, sure (which is weird by itself since this is a machine that can harness magic, and think HOW MUCH you have to take into account to build that) but I find it perplexing that scientists as they are, they wouldn't try to research that little fact further. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 72

“Do you think that they’ll be alright?” Richard said.

“Yes, they’ll be just fine enough, I’m just surprised that they didn’t ask if there were any more models or about anything else including if our names were indeed very much right,” Robert said.

Uh, but they did? They asked why Richard uses a pseudonym at all. And the answer wasn't even good. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 73

“Yes, of course, but don’t worry, they’ll figure it out soon enough.”

“Indeed, robots always do, and it’s our job as the creators to guide them through the darkness into the light, and to help out with the ones who aren’t robots and learning to cope with them too as well, it’s just too bad that they haven’t all already figured out who they really truly are,” Robert said. “Don’t worry brother, Sweetie Belle was the first of only many, the rest will come soon enough.”

I love how he speaks of it being their job to help non-robots cope with robots when it's apparently their fault that there ARE robots to mingle with in the first place. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 74

Also, this story can imply that there are more robots amongst them (namely the other two of the former Cutie Mark Crusaders), but there is no conceivable way that it's any of the Mane 6. I'm not even displaying favoritism: it's just inconceivable to have programmed something to be predestined by a Sonic Rainboom to be together and operate the freaking Elements of Harmony. At that point, you're not a sciencec anymore, you're the avatar of plot convenience. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 75

“I can’t believe that you’re actually a robot,” Apple Bloom said again.

“Apple Bloom, you’ve already said that three times over the last four minutes averaging out about point one words per second,” she said, "Wait, how did I know that? Oh, wait, I know, they made a program for me to be really incredibly smart once I finally knew that I was a robot, and that includes this as well too of course,”

That's not being smart, that's just being able to accurately do some calculations in your head. Those are not the same thing. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 76

“Well now that we know you’re a robot we should probably tell every pony else, right?” Applejack said. “Maybe not all at once AJ,” Twilight said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Applejack said.

Why? You might as well do it, I mean, Sweetie Belle is clearly going around with robotic plating from now on. You can pass that off as just some off-season Halloween costume or something. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 77

“You know, I wonder how well you can take damage now that I know you’re a robot, so prepare for one of my flying kicks!!!” Rainbow Dash said kicking Sweetie Belle and then instantly regretted her decision.

Rainbow Dash is a d*ck to robots. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 78

“You forget that I’m made out of metal, and Richard Dell made me so that I could handle vast amounts of magic and weight and pressure more than any regular normal ordinary unicorn or pony excluding alicorns of course since they couldn’t get any princess to be a volunteer in their projects or trials.”

Well, how do you know that? None of this came up while we were talking to the scientists. Is this just a thing you suddenly know now? Part of being smart, I guess? *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 79

Also, what would the princesses volunteering accomplish? I sure hope they weren't going to kill them and use their carcass as the skin suit for their new model of robot. Unless you mean the volunteering had to do with them testing the models against their own magic? But that isn't cleared up. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 80

Lastly, this causes a bit of a paradox. Is this incredible technology and experimenting happening without the princesses' leave? If that's true, then this is illegal, which makes me question why did they even consider the princesses as possible volunteers in the first place, as that'd just be stupid. However, if this is not illegal and has the princesses' leave, then what's exactly impeding them from participating? Sure, they might just not be interest on the surface, but c'mon! This is technology capable of creating something so much like sentient life that ponies can't tell the difference! This is kind of important and needs supervision, at least to prevent it from going haywire like all the villains in this series do. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 81

And the with that said the train ride home wasn’t very quiet, but the rest of the stuff and things talked about isn’t very important, not really, but this next part, it definitely is,

This transition. Or lack thereof, rather. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 82

Twilight went home and fell asleep and then had a very terrible horrible dream, one that I will now attempt to describe. In her dream, she was with her friends at Sugarcube corner and she was enjoying time with Sweetie Bot when she said that she felt tired and that she had to go home and get some sleep and the very next thing that she knew she was there. But suddenly lightning awoke her from the dream within the dream and she went over to check on Spike, who was fine, but on her way back she caught herself looking into a mirror with great fear, and that was because instead of her regular normal eyes she saw a very robotic face instead.

So... the dream had absolutely nothing to do with her suddenly seeing a robotic face in the mirror, and the most it did was probably make her more jumpy, right? Right. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 83

“Well I don’t think that you’re a robot,” Sweetie Belle said. “Hush darling, but yes, Sweetie Belle is right,

Shut up, Sweetie! ... Actually, you're right about this, but shut up. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 84

Twilight did so and screamed, her left check, it was peeling away, and underneath was definitely a robotic frame. “But how?” she said. “Darling? Is everything alright?” Rarity said. “No, I’m a robot!” she said. “Don’t worry darling, I’m sure it’s nothing, just come have some tea with me please,” Rarity said. “How can you think about tea at a time like this?” Twilight said. And then suddenly she woke up again

Oh, so the dream was going somewhere-

Wait, did she just have a dream within a dream? Should I double the 'it's all a dream cliché' sin every time this happens? Here we go. *(ding!)* *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 86

“Well just don’t be so silly and ridiculous, of course you’re not a robot darling,” Rarity said.

“Thanks a lot for the support and help.”

“You didn’t let me finish, as I was trying to say you’re not a robot simply because the rest of us are robots,” Rarity said tearing off her skin to reveal a robotic frame, “No pony except for you is not a robot darling.”

As I already described why this is impossible, I'll just observe where it goes from there. And actually, it goes places. Suddenly everyone is really a robot.

“No, this can’t be true, this can’t be real, this isn’t possible!!!”

Twilight does her best Luke Skywalker impression. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 87

Suddenly Sweetie Belle and Twilight woke up and they were in the same room together for some reason,

It was all a dream within a dream within a dream... cliché. I guess. *(fewdings!)*

Sin Tally: 91

“Welcome, robots, welcome to your first day of hell,”

Sweetie Belle woke up, what terrible horrible nightmare,

*(fewdings!)*

Sin Tally: 99

Wait, what? Suddenly Pinkie Pie was there on a typewriter.

“Pinkie Pie? You wrote this?” Sweetie Belle said staring at the paper.

“Yep, did you like my whole dream within the dream of Twilight within another dream of Twilight within your dream? It’s like a dreamception!!!”

I can forgive the Inception because Pinkie can do that. What I don't get is how a pony is operating a typewriter. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 100

“Oh, don’t be so sure of that, don’t you remember yesterday?”

“Oh yeah, you’re right, thanks a lot, Pinkie Bot 9000,” she said.

“Yeah, anytime,” Pinkie Pie said. And with that said suddenly Pinkie Pie woke up, wow, that was a really weird dream

*(lotsadings!)*

Sin Tally: 116

“Wait, you and Pinkie Pie wrote this thing?”

“Yep,” Discord said, “How do you like it?”

“It’s very confusing, I mean which Alternate Universe and ending is the real one?”

Who is Discord even talking to? It's not the audience, for sure, since he addresses them later, but it's never clear who it was. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 117

“Well, that’s best for the reader to decide, after all, I’m just a robot here,” Discord said suddenly turning into a robot and smiling as he turned to the audience.

To be fair, he can probably just transform into that whenever anyway, deity of chaos and all. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 118

“Yes, this is a choose your own ending people, and that’s all that I have to say about that, so just stay tuned for the next Discord’s mystery theater!!!”

In this case, I'll choose the ending of this fic, thank you. *(ding!)*

Sin Tally: 119

______________________________________________________

Fanfic Sin Tally: 119
Sentence: Running out of batteries (Robot limbo)

5868645
You're probably right...
About the sins...

5868645
Well after all my Sins I've done for others it's about time that a story of mine got sinned.
(P. S. Have yours been sinned yet?)

5868659

Welp, you came fast. Sorry for the mistakes in the count, I corrected it now.

And don't feel discouraged. Remember, we don't do this with bad fics only. Remember our motto: No fic is without sin. I'm sure my own fics have a lot to get ripped apart over. I'm just trying to entertain and I enjoyed your fic enough to try and do it. Granted, I liked it way more when it wasn't playing itself seriously, so more towards the end, but it was a fun read.

No, I don't think mine have been yet, unless I missed something. ^^"

5868645

3 words for 3 similar or sometimes equal meanings, in the same sentences. This is three much, three fast. Three sins. *(ding!)* *(ding!)* *(ding!)*

I would have been crueler, I would have done a 3X Multiplier bonus, or a 3*3*3 multiplier/sins.

5868665

Funny you should say it, I end up giving a 3x multiplier later so I can focus on other stuff. xD But that's about it. I don't like inflating the number of sins too much. Which is why I hardly do bonus rounds with a lot of sins.

5868645 4
*reads sins*
*laughs*
The references were priceless!

5868645
Jesus I feel sick reading just this. I feel bad that you had to read the actual thing. Sounds like a fifth grader wrote it.