I'm afraid. I'm terrified. I'm not scared of the world, I'm scared of what's inside it. Yesterday I stood up for my sister and put someone else in their place, and now I'm terrified I'll be attacked. When I'm not thinking of that I actually can't help but think of being hurt. Just earlier I was sipping evening tea, one knee over the other, and I couldn't stop thinking about how a chunk of my foot ought be cut out with a knife. Sometimes I can't help but imagine hurting. Being hurt. Hurting myself. I'm scared. I feel like I stand alone. I feel so lonely. It hurts. All the time it hurts I feel empty inside. I feel like there's some part of me that needs attention that never gets it. You may not know this, but my father ignored me 6/7th of the time I lived with him. We didn't see hear or talk to each other six days a week. On the Sunday we went to church and I was in a study group while he slept hearing gospel. Later he'd walk with me. That's all. I'd talk with him every minute of the walk because that was the one day I could. He degraded me, told me none of the careers I was interested in were worth pursuing. Ever since I could talk to him, he talked down to me. He still does when we talk if we talk. My first girlfriend built me up. I thought she cared about me, but she was cheating and I was heartbroken. I had a boyfriend because I was scared to get back with a girl. He broke me down daily, degrading me just like my dad. Mistreating me. For a year. Constantly telling me about all the better looking guys he knew. He broke my heart over and over and over and over. I almost committed suicide. I learned how, and I had a plan. My mom is a psychic though, and she knew what was up literally before I started getting ready to attempt it. She talked me out of it. But, I still feel so alone. I still have confidence, self esteem, and self love issues.

Yes, I know now that it's my own fault my heart was broken, and that I shouldn't be a complete idiot and just say I love someone. Because, next thing you know you only saw part of someone. I loved a piece of someone and when I saw the entire thing I was severely repulsed. I get it. I'm to blame for my heartbreak.

6296652 It mostly comes down to how you perceive things. Instead of being afraid of getting hurt, seek out the danger and face it head-on. You own it. Instead of wanting the approval of others, be the master of the world. The only approval you need is your own.
That empty part of you isn't there for others to fill. It will get filled by itself when you start owning your life.

6296715
I don't consciously choose to fear though. I do it almost instinctually. Choosing danger ought bring about the same stress fearing it does anyhow. Only with added adrenaline, which would make me feel better.

6296798 Fear only has as much power as you give it. Bravery is not about not having fear, it's about not letting it affect you.

6297039
I know that is true but I have thoughts I ought not have. Whether or no I fear them I ought not think on pain. There is no good reason to.

6297043 The bottom line is, you probably know what the right thing to do is in a given situation. It doesn't even matter what the state of your mind is. All that matters is that you don't turn destructive but do the right thing, instead.

6299393
Right and wrong change with the society, therefore there is no ultimate right and wrong. Merely opposites on a scale of gradience. Destruction cannot exist without creation, and there is a scale between the two.

6299540 I disagree. Take smokers for example. They won't claim that smoking is a good thing to do. They know it's bad, but they act destructive, regardless. It's not bad because society deems it so, but because it's just bad. Smokers are destroying themselves, and they aren't creating any long-lasting benefits in the process.

When you're faced with a dilemma (should I go eat ice cream in the middle of the night?), you often know what the right curse of action is. The problem is, people choose to do bad, despite knowing that it's bad. If you just manage to avoid the bad, you'll be on a good way to progress.

6300089
You're arguing with the basis that destruction is bad and creation is good. Such an argument probably stems from human culture, as in the end destruction is not inherently bad, nor is creation inherently good. I am arguing with the basis that there is no good or bad in this world, only your perception, and even that is flawed. And so, I suppose the two of us philosophically differ and therefore cannot debate. This is because our arguments are on parallel planes. Therefore they cannot intersect. If I were to keep arguing with you, my points wouldn't work because our beliefs about good and bad are fundamentally different.

6300104 I agree with you there. At least in regards to our different opinions. I see the whole world in black and white.

As for destruction being good... I know what the future holds. I know what's coming our way. It's the destruction of everything. This Universe will never host life again. There will be darkness eternal. I see nothing good about that fact. Life is the only thing this Universe has to show for itself.

6300120
We do have very different opinions.