Humans are Jake 22 members · 0 stories

This is a group for posting all stories under the popular meme of "Jake is a Human."

However since meta stories are not allowed, no stories will be added or written.

Instead let us all post about how awesome Jake is. He writes awesome blogs and stories, so you should follow him and thumbs-up his stuff.

Comments ( 17 )
  • Viewing 1 - 17 of 17

352154
love is all I've got for you, you idjit

Hey Jake.

What's it like knowing that the epitome of your accomplishments on FIMFiction have lead up to a jokingly-created fan group where I write unsubtle mockery at you?

Must be pretty cool, considering how uninteresting and ugly and fat you are.

Like real fat.

Y'know, if you were starving, a fat person would starve faster but die slower, because of all the fat their body can eat.

In a survival situation, if we didn't resort to cannibalism, you could just wait for us to die and eat us.

An interesting thought.

You fucking pervert.

Hate you.

352150
It's on Netflix. Get a password from a friend. You won't get it from me. I'm only an acquaintance.

352152
I'll walk into you... meaning I will make sex with you.

Hey Jake.

You wanna take a walk through the park with me?

The park isn't actually a park.

Unless you park there.

Then I guess you can call it a park.

But that's just semantics.

Semantics are funny. They ruin a lot of arguments.

It's why I abuse them.

Anyways, why would you park in a meat grinder.

That I'm currently turning on.

Anyways, get back to me on that walk.

352147
I think you're kinda hot

352149
Can we go sky-diving?

Hey Jake.

Do you have a copy of The Avengers I can borrow? I have a date with a classy lady who's interesting and likes comic book movies.

Get back to me on that.

K thx.

Hey Jake.

If you walked off a cliff right now, did you know your chances of surviving are less than 20%?

Especially if somebody strapped a stick of dynamite to the back of your head before you fell off.

Just something to consider.

352145
I like pie

352146
Hair smells good on a purty lady

Hey Jake.

You're a lovely and interesting person.

I really mean that.

Except I don't.

Just something to think about.

Hey Jake.

Hey.

Jake.

Hey Jake.

Jake.

I don't like the way you wear your hair.

It's ugly and disconcerting.

It makes me think of a moonlit stroll on a beach but all of the sand is poo.

So is the water.

It sucks, why am I here? I can't stop asking myself that.

I'm going home.

That's what your hair is like.

Hey Jake.

I made you a pie.

It's made out of blueberries and cockmeat sandwiches.

And a little rosemary.

You don't put rosemary in pies Jake.

Fuck you.

Hey Jake.

Suck a dick.

Hey Jake.

Fuck you.

  • Viewing 1 - 17 of 17
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