Twilight Sparkle and Phoenix Wright. A human and a pony. A lawyer and a unicorn. The unlikeliest of couples, their bond was forged and tested in the trials of Turnabout Storm. The storm passed, but their feelings for each other did not, even after Phoenix went home. How far will Twilight go to see him again? Is what they feel real, or merely a magical artifact? Is it even possible for man and mare to be mates? Can they be together, or are the differences and distances between them simply too great...?

I kicked off one of my earlier reviews by knocking the use of Youtube videos to set the mood, so I need to stay consistent here. I didn't bother listening to any of the music linked in this story. In fact, I rolled my eyes every time it happened. If an author doesn't have enough confidence in their ability to translate the emotion of a scene without asking the reader to stop reading, open a new tab, and play a song--sometimes smack in the middle of an important scene--then I have no confidence in their ability either. If a piece of music inspired something that's what Author's Notes are for.

Moving on.

If I can get away with another reference to early reviews, I have a bad track record of finding crossovers of franchises I'm familiar with. Phoenix Wright though, I fucking love me some Phoenix Wright. Phoenix, Apollo Justice, the Edgeworth spin-off, even the Professor Layton crossover, I know these games. I've seen the Turnabout Storm videos. And... this story is a sequel to a novelization of those videos. A novelization that seems to have extended well past the end of that series, or at least included a great deal of new content amid Rainbow's trial.

So I'll have to chalk this one up as another miss on my crossover list. There were more references to things I had no knowledge of than ones I understood. More humans than Phoenix came to Equestria, Edgeworth even stood in court I believe, Twilight is a fire elemental--like, a firebender, could she become pure fire, what?--Maya Fey may or may not have had sex with Vinyl Scratch, Maya even met Vinyl, Vinyl even fought against Phoenix in court as a prosecutor. What? When?

Tl;dr: the video series is the barest minimum to have any decent idea of what's happening.

The frustrating part is that even if I did know everything going into it, this story still falls under Not My Thing. Mostly because of the sex. I'm no stranger to sexual content, but this was just kind of... odd. It wasn't straight porn, but the desire for the the porn is so pervasive that the sex almost hangs on every word. I can't call it smut, but I can't call it clop with a plot because all the plot is in another story. So the story doesn't walk the line between the two as much as it crouches down and grinds the line between its legs.

For example, every female character fondles their own breasts. Every. Single. One of them. Pearly Fey technically isn't even spared when Mia teases Phoenix in her clothes. Thanks to a transformation spell to fit into the human world, even the ponies get in on the action with their newly enlarged mammaries. The spell also gives them a human appetite for meat, and apparently the sex drive as well. Vinyl Scratch can't wait to bone someone after witnessing some Phoenix/Twilight foreplay.

Celestia definitely stands out among the bunch. Twilight goes to her for advice about her relationship with Phoenix, and the dial on Celestia's characterization turns from Motherly Mentor to Sex Goddess pretty fast, and then the author ripped the knob off the dial. She has mastered the transformation spell already and takes a certain pleasure in embarrassing Twilight and human men with her conduct and assets in her new form. She also uses the human world to fuck people for kicks. Because of course she does.

Just as a rule of thumb, when your character puts on a robe to cover their nudity and the writing talks about how short and tight and revealing the robe is, and how voluptuous the character's breasts look in it, we know what kind of story you want to write.

Which isn't to say eroticism doesn't have its audience, nor that this sequel of a really good sized novel didn't have a following. In the vacuum of reading this one alone, it just turned me off when each character hit the same beats as all the others. The last straw for me was Franziska von Karma. If there was going to be one, just one female character in either of these two universes that would have no interest in highlighting, comparing, or worrying about the size of their chesticles, it would be her. But no, she has to point to her "modest bust" in the very first scene she's in.

There's a word for how I feel about this, I think...

All of which leaves me conflicted about how to rate this story. I had no complaints with the black and white mechanics, and while I shake my head at some of the content I've spelled out here, I did enjoy some of it. Pearl addressing all the adult unicorns she knows as Mystic was a cute touch. The thought of Rainbow Dash and Gilda slugging out their differences made me laugh. Phoenix's characterization took me by surprise as well. I'm not sure he'd be as... asexual towards women as he's gotten flustered in the games before, but I see how his backstory could lead to that interpretation. The author certainly tried to make the most of it with Phoenix trying to figure out his attraction to Twilight.

Here's the funny thing about this review: the author had no idea the story was even in our folder. So. Here I am, a couple weeks after claiming this thing, trying to decide what to rate it for an author that could justifiably point to another 400k word story and say "That was explained already" to some of my criticisms. Hell, even the sexual content makes sense because Phoenix and Twilight had 400k words worth of flirting and getting to know each other. I'm still not sure Maya Fey would need to fondle herself and wonder what Twilight has that she doesn't, but focusing on the physical nature of the main love story makes sense in the context of a sequel.

So... I guess... enjoyable?

Seriously though, why the hell did Phoenix and Twilight feel each other up in the same damn office that Maya and Vinyl were in? You don't exactly have the right to be surprised when you get caught.

And how the hell does Franziska know a Star Wars quote that Maya doesn't recognize? Come on, Maya fangirls out all the time.

And how many Equestrian resources did Celestia pour into her booty calls? Freaking bank accounts and credit cards and hotel rooms on permanent reservation just to get laid?

Fuck it, the review's over. I can't expect rewrites of 700k+ words to answer nitpicks.

I was feeling like I was wasting time on this thing, taking so long to get it out after the author didn't even submit it. And I didn't exactly give much concrete feedback except, "Don't make every girl touch themselves."

So fuck it, now I'm wasting everyone's time with this nonsense. I'm just chilling, listening to someone bitch about the new Halloween movie while typing out this stuff.

Apropo of nothing

...Huh. Okay, then. As someone who was primarily responsible for most of the music choices, it wasn't meant to be the only thing setting the mood. It was intended as a sort of optional extra, a "garnish" if you will. Do you suppose that could be better clarified?

Also, as far as I know, Franziska wasn't feeling herself up, she was, in essence, asking Maya if Phoenix was looking at his lover either endearingly or lustfully if you will. The other times the story sexualised her excessively was due to Phoenix's subconscious playing tricks on him or some millennia old demonic force trying to mess with his head. (Yes, seriously.) Still, the sexualisation could be reeled in and turned back a bit, you mean?

...Oh, and Celestia wasn't just heading to the human world for sex and nothing else, actually. She simply uses the place as an all-purpose vacation resort. She explains this to Maya at one point over burgers, if I recall correctly.

...Just in case this story receives a re-write, is there anything you'd suggest altering, changing, cutting back on, or elaborating on? Any feedback is appreciated, as far as I'm concerned!

You're a good sport for trekking a story you weren't even remotely turned on by. Fair criticisms as far as I can tell. I admit I'm a bit surprised to read about Mia's actions inside Pearl's body. I feel like I might have said something about that had that angle occurred to me but obviously it didn't and I was one of the proofreaders throughout the entire thing.

Feels bad man.

Thank you for the review! I could answer this point by point, but in the end, you’re correct--a lot of the stuff you mention gets addressed in not the videos, but the Turnabout Storm Novelization. The Novelization is dramatically expanded over the videos; it includes laying the groundwork for this ship and explaining most of the other things you’re mentioning. This story is listed as a sequel to that one, so I think this would make a lot more sense to you if you went back and read that first:

TPhoenix Wright - Turnabout Storm!

• MLP: FiM
• Ace Attorney
• Romance
• Adventure
• Comedy

A famous racer is found dead in the Everfree, and Rainbow Dash stands accused of his murder. Can an Ace Attorney from another world uncover the truth and prove her innocent, or will Rainbow Dash be banished to the sun for a crime she didn't commit?

• Alt. Universe
• Crossover
• Twilight
• Rainbow Dash
• Trixie
• Other
• Main 6

Firesight · 436k words  ·  1,898  74 · 29k views

I’m currently completing a full-scale editing pass on Turnabout Storm, and am six chapters away from completing it. So I urge you to go back and read that, whether or not you would want to review it. There was also the T-rated version of this story if you just wanted to skip over the M-rated scenes. I get that they’re not everybody’s cup of tea, but I did try to make them quite varied and challenging to myself to write. I would note, however, that the T-rated version got a lot less interest than the M-rated one, so the simple fact that ‘Sex Sells’ is illustrated there:

TThe Lawyer and The Unicorn (T-Rated Version)

• MLP: FiM
• Ace Attorney
• Romance
• Comedy
• Thriller

The storm has passed, but the bond that Twilight and Phoenix formed still lingers... can it grow further?

• Sex
• Crossover
• Human
• Alt. Universe
• Twilight
• Celestia
• DJ P0N-3
• OC
• Other

Firesight · 255k words  ·  58  11 · 2.5k views

Regardless, reviews of crossover adult works are generally quite dicey, particularly when they’re based on an earlier work that you’ve coming in cold to. So I thank you for trying to be fair about it and giving your unvarnished opinion. There are things you said that I don’t agree with at all, but you took the time to read and review a dauntingly long story, so I won’t go into them. Thank you very much for the feedback, and I’ll make the effort in turn to address a few points you raised when I move on from editing Turnabout Storm to editing this story next.

EDIT: I’ve posted a blog advertising your review: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/832288/the-lawyer-and-the-unicorn-m-rated-version-reviewed

You're a legit trooper for getting this review up and done.