Commentary

Well, a relatively short story this time, Twilight the Terrible stands at just under 48,000 words. Yeah, that may be a lot for some readers, but I care more about quality than quantity in writing. Hoo, boy, this story delivers.

We all know the tale: Nightmare Moon is sealed in the moon, to be released 1,000 years later. Some small time before that time is up, Twilight takes the exam to gain entrance into the School for Magically Gifted Unicorns. The Rainboom happens, Twilight’s magic surges, and Celestia calms everything down. But, what if Celestia didn’t? More accurately, what if she couldn’t?

That is the driving premise behind this story. In this alternate universe, Twilight’s magic surge drains Celestia of her power, leaving the sun and moon on the horizons. Seven years later, Nightmare Moon is released into this world, finding it sick and dying. She proceeds to Canterlot, where Twilight sits on the throne, trying to fix the mess she made. Nightmare Moon decides to take it upon herself to stop the “Tyrant Filly”, and attacks Twilight, who has not aged since that fateful day, body or mind.

Suffice to say, Nightmare Moon gets her flank handed to her. In a last, desperate attempt to get away, she opens a rift in time and space, fleeing through it into the Equestria we all know and love.

Nightmare Moon then brings the Bearers, and Luna, from “our” Equestria into hers. What follows is a bone-chilling look at what is, and what could have been. Failing crops, forests being cleared, raiders, and more are shown, and through it all, Luna teaches Nightmare Moon that eternal night would be infinitely worse.

I’ll stop my commentary there. As good as this story has been, it gets even better, and I don’t want to spoil any more.

Review

Very well done in all regards. The characters from “our” Equestria say true to those from the show, while Nightmare Moon and the others from that universe diverge just enough to be unique without seeming an entirely different pony.

Now, I did read this all in a few nights, so the extra-diligent nitpickers who followed the story from chapter one probably noticed a lot more mistakes than I did, but the few little grammar hiccups I did see were so small, they did not detract from the flow of the story.

There is one thing, though. The author covered what happened to each important pony in both universes after the fact, except for one. I don’t know if he/she is prepping for a sequel, but I sure do hope so.

Tips

Give us closure! What happens to that poor filly who was overloaded with power? Does Equestria shun her, thinking her a monster for her past mistakes? Does she try to make amends? What happens?!

Rating:

*Must Read*

4886908 Wow. Thank you. :) I didn't think it was that good, to be honest. I know there's some work to be done on it. Still, thanks.

As for closure... sorry, not gonna happen. There's some questions better left to the reader's imagination. This, I feel, is one of them.

4886921 Well, I find that the person that is hardest on any given story is likely the author.

Also, aww...