"If you need help with anything, post your question here. Perhaps my wisdom can drain the endless reservoir of human ignorance."

"I'm just a humble adviser! Please. I beg of you, pull me out of the crustacean pit!"

"Silence, Dog Days. You have wrought forth mine ire, and accordingly, you must be punished. Three hours have not passed, you're two-thirds done."

"BUT THEY'RE GETTING IN MY PANTS!"

"Ignore the idiot, and post your inquiries below. If I feel up to it, they shall be scrutinized and answered."