If you’re going to write a human in Equestria story, THAT’S FINE; but quite frankly, I’m seeing WAY too many similarities between these fics.

I have a list of plot devices that are so over-used it makes me want to have an aneurism whenever I see them.

Manticores

I’ve seen way too many stories that depict the human in question waking up in the Everfree forest and encountering a hostile manticore, and kills or severely injures it. This is literally all we see of manticores in fanfics, them getting beaten up, maimed, or brutally murdered.

I call this the: “Manticore = OC punching bag” plot device.

Seriously, the only manticore we’ve seen in the show was in the second episode, for not even a minute-and-a-half.

And how do we know that manticores are all bloodthirsty D-bags? The manticore we saw was cranky because it had a thorn in its paw; when said thorn was removed it turned into a cuddly house-cat. Leave the poor creatures alone!

Bronies Against the Abuse of Manticores (BATAM), that needs to be a group; somebody do that, now. (they did :] )

Ponification

If a human goes to Equestria and becomes a pony, the author has completely defeated the purpose of the Human in Equestria tag. Now, if said human is a character from a series of some kind, that’s fine to a degree.

Main six characteristics

The first one I have a problem with is Apple Jack. Way too many times I’ve seen Apple Jack behave like a xenophobic hic, or hate the human character, FOR NO JUSTUFIABLE REASON. I mean, sure, if a group of humans cause havoc in ponyville, leave, and the main protagonist shows up (a human) then she has a reason to fear them. But whenever I read a human in Equestria story, I literally wait until Apple Jack encounters the human. And this is almost always how it goes down:

“Hmmmm, a tall, pale, mostly hairless creature strolling outside the everfree? What to do….

A: buck it with enough force to splinter a tree-trunk.

B: freak out and collect an angry mob.

Another one I can’t stand is Rainbow losing her shit and attacking said human. Seriously, I don’t like Rainbow Dash enough already; so it doesn’t help that most of these stories portray her as a total ego-boner stroking meat-head.

If something like this comes into town waving its weapon around, screaming like a maniac,

then sure, go nuts.

But when something like this comes into town,

THINK BEFORE YOU ACT.

What makes these plot elements even worse is that the characters are never called out on acting like this in any serious way. I mean, come on, what if they had assaulted the ambassador of and distant country, with a strong military force? Great job you guys, you just started a freaking war because you saw something completely foreign to you, and you decided that the rational response was to attack it. Really, great job!

Having the characters act like this basically means that they have learned NOTHING from their encounter with Zecora.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, we’ve learned not to discriminate against someone based on their appearance……………………………………………….. For reals this time.

Sincerely, Apple Jack and Rainbow Dash

My loyal subjects,

I am very glad you’ve learned an important lesson about friendship, but I’m afraid that, by attacking a foreign ambassador, you’ve committed treason. Please say goodbye to you loved ones and stand outside your homes. Royal guards will be there to pick you up in an hour. Your trial is scheduled for next month. Hopefully, the court will give you a slap on the wrist with life in prison, instead of sentencing you to death.

Your loving ruler, Princess Celestia

The stare

Good LORD, please stop this shit. The stare works on animals, NOT SENTEINT CREATURES. Fluttershy scolded the dragon; she didn’t use the freaking stare. I’m tired of seeing Fluttershy subduing characters like Kratos (I’m not even a fan of GOW) with the stare. This is a highly overpowered ability. Such ability should go to a villain, because villains are SUPPOSED to have unfair advantages over the protagonists.

Take Deborah from DBZ for instance. If he spits on someone, they turn to stone, which is potentially lethal. This is a really unfair advantage, but he’s a villain. If, say, Piccolo had this ability, that would be ridiculous and it would take the fun out of the series.

Human kills a bad guy; ponies throw a bitch-fit

I am tired of seeing this. So what the human kills a bad guy, he was threatening to kill ponies, so in doing this, the human has saved your lives, show some fucking gratitude. And don’t you dare say that you could have talked it out; if some maniac is brandishing a deadly weapon, burning down homes, and attacking ponies, we’re kind of beyond using diplomacy at this point.

I remember a fallout 3 crossover, where twilight lands in the Capital Wasteland. She goes missing for a few days, and upon returning she kills a hydra with a plasma rifle. Instead of going: “oh my god, you’re alive! We were so worried. Are you ok? Where have you been?”, the rest of the main six dwell on the fact that she killed the hydra that was destroying ponyville. They say that she could have waited until it left. And then they accuse her of being a monster posing as their friend. And when she gets upset and yells at them, they say her outburst is uncalled for and made Her APOLOGIZE.

“Hi you guys I just came back from a blasted wasteland filled with horrors you couldn’t possibly fathom in your worst nightmare. While I was there I was nearly shot to death, disintegrated, nearly died of radiation poisoning and lost an eye and a leg. But why should I dwell on the past?! Cleary it was out of line to kill a four headed monster that would have kept destroying towns even after it was through destroying ponyville, and I’m very sorry.”

That scene gave me a concussion.

Humans eat meat? You monster!

This needs to stop, NOW. Hey ponies, newsflash, there are animals that eat meat! As long as they don’t eat ponies, I don’t see why that’s a problem. But every other HIE has this plot-device and it makes me sick. I read this crossover on Equestria Daily a year ago, (battlemech, I think) and when one of the marines talked about how they lived on a farm and ate chickens, Fluttershy was completely cool with it, because she knows IT’S THE NATURAL ORDER OF LIFE. The author deserves a medal in my book.

TL;DR: have some fucking originality!

A bit of a side note: I’ve noticed in the show that many of the extraspecies characters are portrayed as stupid, mean, rude, or evil.

A griffin that’s a rule 63 version of alpha male douche-bag

A dragon with who could care less about how his sleeping habits affect the environment

Diamond dogs who try to enslave ponies to work in their mines

Donkeys and mules seen as ugly

A river serpent (I like to think he’s a kelpie) seen as being overdramatic and annoyingly flamboyant

A money-grubbing Minotaur who’s also rude

A group of teenage douche-bag dragons

Whatever the hell Alti Zulu (I know that’s not how you spell his name, don’t bother correcting me) as a relic thief.

Changelings that try to enslave ponies for a food source, despite the fact that they probably could have just asked to live among ponies, problem solved

The only two characters I can think of who aren’t ponies that are good are Zecora and Spike. We know next to nothing about Zecora, and Spike was raised by ponies

I’m sure I’ve missed quite a few over-used plot devices. Please name a few of your own pet peeves please

Deus ex Machina, that'll never get old!

987578 And the funny part about the manticore cliche is that even in crossover stories,authors seems to keep using them or timberwolves. Why not try a hostile bear or have the human waking up in the ghastly gorge.

987578

total ego-boner stroking meat-head.

Umm, she is one of those.

987578 Great job summing that up. Also, can you give you opinion on this. It is one of my HIE fics, and it has been pretty successful. I just want to hear from another source if I am going in the right direction. If you can check it out thanks!

I agree.

987578
I was thinking about having Fluttershy use the Stare on my OC. You've convinced me not to.

I'm not sure if you saw but there been a shitload of people like you that made parodies of fanfics like that and I don't think your post will change things out here. And I'm surprise you didn't mention the humans being instanly best friend or boyfriend with the mane 6.

987604 I'm sorry, i meant to say even more so.

Main character saving the fucking world from some crazy shit. Getting powers. Other just plain annoying things. You have a princess that controls the SUN. if that doesn't say, "Fuck with us and you'll get your ass beat," then I don't know what does. You don't need a human to solve those problems. Why would you ever?

I hate it when characters get powers or develop them for some odd reason. For all my characters, if they don't have it from the start, they won't get it at all later on.

987578
Just came back from a shit storm.

I should follow this. I am making a self-insert, but its going to be different from the other ones. Plus I am joining the batman group.

Your post actually gave me a few original Ideas since I'll be having my main character travel the other sights of Equestria!!

Well, I had my human fight a manticore, but that was to save the CMC from being lunch. My OC barely survived the fight due to being a trained soldier (Making the manticore eat a grenade didn't hurt.). If you think about it though, the manticore is probably the easiest monster for a character to fight solo and win/survive (along with the timberwolf). Think about it. Hydras have 5 heads, so, it could be considered a 5 on 1 fight. Cockatrices turn you to stone just by looking at you, and the ursas, well, you need to be something like a nth level badass just to escape. Manticores, however, are just winged lions with scorpion tales. So, can you really blame us for using manticores?

My story will have my OC fight a Diamond Dog. He nearly dies. He only wins by fighting dirty.
I'm still trying to figure out how you fight dirty against a dog.

987578 "Hi, I'm a human from a different reality, and I died/came through a portal/was transported/got lost/turned right at Albuquerque to end up here, in Ponyville! Oh, by the way, I'm the 7th Element, the Element of Love/Faith/Sharing/Anon/DaBaws/LiekASir/Something you don't understand! Hurray, I now totally belong with the Mane 6!"

987660
What a comprehensive list of original ideas you have there!

When you're not familiar with the things (or just don't care),

isn't that much different than

Other than the stature really

987645 why not settle for a bear?

987645
Another thing about Hydras:

Why would a creature that large expend any energy for a morsel the size of a human?
The only reason they'd attack would be if they were being territorial.

Anybody ever play Shadow of the Colossus? None of them tried to eat you. They were just pissed because you stabbed them!

987578. Dat second picture... Link + Ghirahim?987600. I may have to use that.

987671 *sarcasm*

But yeah, I've got one for ya:

A mute ends up in Equestria, in either Trottingham or Canterlot, and is found by Octavia. The magic of Equestria heals his broken vocal chords, ones he's never used in his entire life, having been born a mute, and he starts feeling the urge to sing. He and Octaiva fall in love, and after participating in the Gala, Octavia returns to her home, tears streaming down her face, and the mute man's love finally bursts forth in a song, and his voice rings out, clear as crystal, beautiful as a male voice can be. Octavia's tears of sorrow turn to tears of joy, and they share a deep, meaningful kiss.

Then, cliffhanger ending so I can choose between sending him back to Earth (with or without Octavia), or turning him into a pony in the sequel.

987710
Mute in Equestria?

Pluggy Pluggy

987706 and gave them prostate exams for shits and giggles

987717 So is he actually mute, or is he just soft-spoken/not one to speak?

987723
Good times, am I right?

987705 Please, bears are boring. Anyone can kill bear. Much cooler to kill a manticore with a grenade sammich

987731
He gets a throat injury in chapter 3.

The beginning is hugely inspired by Planet of the Apes

And one plot device i can't stand is the human character being angsty or a brony. And one plot device that needs to go is humans turning into a pony or a dragon. Then again i could imagine what would it be like if the human turned into a Minotaur or a centaur.

And i agree with the human kills bad guys and ponies throws a shit-fit. I don't understand why.

987739
I'm Canadian. I kill bears and moose for lunch and dinner respectively.
Breakfast, I uproot maple trees and drink the syrup.

987710 ...that's so sweet it makes me want to barf

987742 Ahh. Well, I mean an actual Mute, as in someone who's never spoken. Ever. Because they can't. He'd realize early on that ponies can't understand sign language, but they can read his writing well enough.

987748 Good.

987578 Yay. So much right with this post on every topic. Though, I see one thing to argue with the carnivorous thing. It may be a part of Equestrian culture/ racism (whatever the hell you political correctness freaks wanna call it) that believes that nothing that can think or reason would eat another living thing because they value it's existence, and anything that does must not be a logically thinking or sentient being. Rather than openly hating or being disturbed by a humans' act of eating meat, instead it may be just quietly and abstractly assumed by them that they are of lesser intelligence and consciousness because of it, not saying anything, but merely accepting the idea. Like the classic idea of White vs. black four hundred years ago. They were black, thus they weren't conscious and sentient creatures. Not true, but just accepted, even if the person in question didn't own any african slaves.

I don't believe humans would be hated, only thought of as lower beings. Even if it were so that they were of higher technology, they would still, because of ideology, be viewed as having lesser intelligence.

My idea would start out as a Typical, "I got to Equestria story" Where I get killed in an accident trying to save someone from falling off the Snowqualmie Falls. I wake up in the Everfree forest and I get chased by a pack of Timberwolves. Just when I think they will get me, I hear a shotgun blast and the Timberwolf alpha explodes in a bunch of Twigs. I look to who save me and it's an Anthro Applejack (meaning something like this https://derpibooru.org/299389?scope=scpe830b4b169f492fc32d8810001b6b3eafe9b7a7f1 ) dressed in a shirt, Jeans and her typical Cowboy hat. The reason she shot the timberwolves was because they had been bothering her livestock for a while.

However I can't understand her and one of the timberwolves hit my throat so hard that my vocal cords get injured and I can't talk. I try to runaway but Applejack calls for me in her language and she puts down her gun to show off her peaceful intentions and tries to show the best she can to me if I want to stay with her. For a few moments I hesitate thinking over my chances and finally agree with her and Applejack takes me back to her home and tries to take care of me as best as she can.

So when applejack takes me back to her farm and gives me a room and shelter to heal. I try to understand their alphabet, when Applebloom sneaks into my room while Applejack is heading to Fluttershy's place and Twilight's Library for some help . Applebloom gives me one of her old alphabet books when she sees me trying to read one of the books on the shelf and I try to understand their written language and try to use that to communicate with them.
At first they might mistake me for some odd critter from the Everfree Forest, but when they see me trying to read and write they think that I might be a sapient being and start to treat me with a bit more respect. I eventually will find a way to understand their language and try to find a way back home while trying to adjust to this new world I have found myself in.

The Equestria I landed in though isn't the Equestria that's seen in the show but rather one that is more of an alternate 1930's version of Equestria, with Decopunk stylings and inventions. And the areas are more realistically layed out. Like Applejack's farm is a few miles away from Ponyville proper so she has to use a magitech car to get to town.

I never wanted to get into Equestria at all and I did enjoy my life before then, I am just thrust into a bad situation that I have no control over. I will miss my family and I also would have some frustrations dealing with the communication issues I could have with the ponies.

So is there anything I can do to improve this concept and does it avoid most of the cliches?

987755
If you watch Planet of the Apes you'll know why mine is a decent idea.

For my story, yes he surely can write, but it poses a communication barrier nonetheless.

There's a lot you can't express in writing, I think you'll agree.

Heheh, I have to agree with this. Funny that a lot of readers at first didn't like how the ponies reacted rationally when they encountered the human character at the start of the story I'm writing. Really, dudes?

987747 But have you ever killed and eaten a manticore? If not, then i rest my case

987771
brunch

987772 ...showoff...

987739 i beg to differ. think of it this way: if you want to hunt grizzles with a pistol, take the iron sights off; it'll hurt less when the bear shoves it up your ass.

Anyway, I think the whole fighting a manticore after arriving in equestria has somewhat of a nice dichotomy with the first episode. A manticore is the first thing the mane 6 fights in the series, after all.

987787 ...what kind of bears are you hunting?

987765 Oh, most definitely. For example, I could be typing with extreme prejudice, even hitting my keyboard angrily, and you wouldn't know. And while many overt body language signals may be shared between ponies and humans, other, subtler ones will be overlooked on both sides.

For Octavia and this mute human (haven't decided on a name yet; might name him Steve), they share a living space (politely, of course; nothing scandalous... yet.), and as such, gain a familiarity for different motions. A small, three-finger wave would mean something that only the two of them would really understand, while waving a fist or a middle finger would be a lot less subtle.

987792
Never thought about that.

I like that.

987799 The Muricahn' kind.

987811...I don't know how to respond to that.

987809 thank you. I try

987578 I'm happy to say I've either subverted or simply never used most of these.

The one I am guilty of is "the Stare" working on a human, but it only worked once, and then not for very long.

If you want a REALLY good Human-in-Equestria story, there's always the one where the human isn't human at all: "Ork in Equestria."

Read it. It's well written and FUNNY AS HELL.

One plot device I have noticed is the human in question basically falls out of the sky. I've used it (Kinda) and I have found it to be quite funny at times, but it does seem to be a little worn

He's a super-disciplined highly-trained soldier who somehow has no idea how tactics work or how to hold himself together. "Oh no, I'm in fantasy land, I'm going to go into PTSD despite the fact I've been to Ranger School and have seen combat and seen my buddies die in front of me! That didn't set me off, but this certainly will!"