//------------------------------// // An Exchange of Taps // Story: A Cultural Exchange // by Illiad_Easle //------------------------------// Illiad and Dax made their way back through the overgrown path, to the manor grounds, then down to the quarry yard from there. Turning past the Refinery, they made their way past Shed Row to the humble Pony Express office once more. Reaching the door, Dax looked in through the window. "Yeah... yeah, she's there. Boy, she looks like someone just took her cupcake away." Through the window, Illiad could also see the minute mare; she did indeed look rather morose and dreary. She was leaning on a hoof, seated at the counter, staring at the calendar across from her with longing... Illiad could FEEL the loneliness inside her, turning over and over like a gear in motion. Dax looked back at Illiad. "Well... show me that you really DON'T have an issue with Taps... after you." He smiled as he made a sweeping gesture toward the door. Being polite, Illiad was sure to knock on the door, and being cautious, he waited for the door to be opened before he would think of entering that trapped building. He decided in the wait that he'd try to convey a mental message of empathy, a soft push of emotion towards her that she would notice to show that, while they disagreed on certain things, he still hated to see her feeling such a way. Accompanied with it, he spoke. "Hey Taps, it's us again, originally we were going to ask you a question but given your loneliness I was wondering if you wouldn't want to spend some time with us. We could talk if you want, I know it certainly helped my loneliness to have someone I could confide my worries in." He sighed, hoping that it would at least help if she weren't willing to talk to them. Taps looked up from her morose daydreaming with surprise. She stared at them as Dax followed Illiad inside. "Yeah, Taps - what's up?" She stared for a moment, then motioned to the door, making a shutting motion. Dax nodded and closed the door behind him. As soon as he did, she came wheeling out from behind the counter. A rush of giddy happiness tried to make its way forward - but as she rounded the counter, something... diverted that excitement, until she had managed to wind herself down into a controlled and calm state. All of this took less than a few seconds, but by the time she reached them, she looked as neutral as she possibly could. But, for the Empathic, a small vibration of happiness wiggled in her secret heart, no matter how she tried to hide it. "You two - you DO realize that if anypony out there KNEW I could actually speak... I would-..." She stopped herself, closed her mismatched eyes, took a deep breath and exhaled before she spoke again. "... no. Never mind; if we DO speak, it will have to be behind closed doors, such as we are now." She turned to go back behind the counter. Dax lifted an eyebrow as she did, and said, "Gee, good to see you again, too." Taps jumped as if she'd been stung, then wheeled around quickly. "No no no... you misunderstand me; ponies ask questions, but when one cannot speak, the questions dwindle... and in my line of work, the fewer questions about me, the better. It's to keep the WRONG questioners away... not-..." Whatever it was she'd been about to say, she cut it off. However, it was quite possible she had been about to make exceptions for the two with her now - but her duty came first. Even if she didn't want it to. She gave Illiad a look for a moment, then asked, "I take it the two of you are here for something, hmmm? Perhaps a few questions of your own to ask?" She stared at them both. "Uhm... actually, we have an altogether different question if that's okay with you?" Taps blinked; she hadn't expected this. "Oh. Well. That's... that's okay, then." The feeling of trickling relief from her was almost tangible to the Trojan, yet he still got that distinct feeling she was much happier to see them than she let on. "Very well, what may I do for you, Dax? Illiad?" Illiad looked a bit put off by Taps' attitude about her situation. "Maybe if you didn't act like you had something to hide no one would suspect you did. I talk all the time and have yet to spill any secrets entrusted to me to any who could not be trusted. I think there's a different reason why you don't talk, though perhaps you don't realize it yet. If you talked, acted like you wanted people to interact with you, you might make friends, and through friends, you might be inclined to actually tell them what bothers you instead of keeping it inside. I know what that's like, which is why Dax has learned more about a certain creature than you might ever know. The question then is why are you so against making friends, against connecting with people?" He sighed and shook his head, "No, that's not really my place to prod, is it? I just don't like feeling how lonely you are, it's eating you up like it did Luna, and I don't want to see that happen. Anyway, what we originally came for was to see if you knew what a mail carrier would appreciate as a gift." Taps gave Illiad a bit of a sharp look, narrowing her eyes as he continued. Once he finished, she gave a large sigh. "Easle... you've seen my job. My charges. My responsibility." She slowly stepped closer to him, until she was close enough to lick. "How much do YOU think I can afford to be social?" The moment was tense, taut like a drawstring on a bow... then... "Uhm... over mail?" That broke the mood, and Taps blinked then stepped back, then actually giggled. Illiad felt her building tension diffuse like a meditating monk's breath; slow, gentle, leaving no trace of ire. She scratched at her chin, then nodded. "Dax... Easle... my sincerest apologies for my manner. I'm afraid I have to make a judgment call, here, and in order to PROPERLY do this, I'll have to take a moment or two of your time... please." Dax's confusion grew. "Hunh?" She looked at Illiad squarely, no longer upset at him; there was a calm stillness that was almost flowing through her. However, due to his skill, the Empathic could sense another little tingle there - not hidden, but kept quietly in reserve. Hope. "I believe it's time for me to show you something, Daxter. Easle has seen it, but I already have his word," she glanced to him, no iron in her gaze now, "and that is good enough for me. Which is why I would ask you, Illiad Easle if you would be so kind as to fill him in on what you know?" "Illiad, what... w-w-what's she talking about?" She gave a soft smile. "Let's say... it's a test. A test to see if you're ready for a bit of personal responsibility, as well as how much I can reveal to you. Your Trojan friend has an introduction already, which is why I'd like to see how much he remembers... but the test is for YOU, young Blackwater. Pass, and I'll even give you something befitting a mailpony like myself. Fair enough?" Dax looked at Taps, then back at the unicorn. "What's she talking about? Is..." he looked to his friend, "...is it safe?" Illiad looked a bit surprised at Taps' shift to tell Dax about what she did, and more especially that she would like him to speak on it. "I think you could afford friendship Taps, casual conversation. You are more than capable of telling who's worth being friends with and who's not." He sighed, "Though now you've painted yourself into the same corner Celestia has, you're stuck in your ways because if you were to change you would attract the very questions and suspicions you adopted the mute act to avoid. Anyway, " Taps gave Illiad a sour look, but her humor was still good. "Can't you ever speak without being condescending first? Or is that simply a trait you've cultivated for your own gratification?" Illiad rolled his eyes at the question of his condescending speech but didn't otherwise respond. He turned to Dax with a serious expression, "What I'm about to tell you is just as much a secret as Selena is, you repeat none of this to anyone not present in this room. Furthermore, if she tells you something, you don't tell me. Okay? Now, similar to my position in caring for Selena, Taps is the caretaker for a number of generally less sentient and generally more dangerous artifacts than Selena, like the jinx stone. She is to ensure that they never fall into the wrong hooves as I am to ensure that nothing impedes Selena's work." He paused and thought for a moment, "That's the short of it at least, though much more detail wouldn't paint a clearer picture unless I missed something." He turned back towards Taps with a curious eyebrow, "That what you were looking for?" She rolled here eyes, then turned to Dax. "What he said is correct, though - The Jinx Stone is only one of MANY secrets I keep... and I've been keeping them for a long, long time." Illiad felt a bit of pain from her at that, yet she did an excellent job of not showing it. "But we'll see, won't we? We'll take a look together, and depending on your reaction, I may just decide you're worthy of keeping this secret. Fail, and you'll never know - it'll never trouble your thoughts, I give you my word on that." Something about that gave her a moment of sadness too... but there was no obvious reason as to why. She stepped towards the janitor's broom closet, and within moments, they were making their way down the spiral staircase. Dax had given an initial 'whoa' when it appeared, but now he seemed to be trying to crane his neck in every direction at once to look around the stairwell... And to think, they hadn't even gotten there yet. Taps looked back at them both, traversing the steps without even looking. "You need to keep ONE major thing in mind while you're here: T O U C H N O T H I N G." Dax nodded, then looked back at Illiad with curiosity and a smidge of fear tickling at his nerves. "Okay, no really... is this safe?" Illiad looked over at Dax with a serious expression, "So long as you don't touch anything you'll be fine. If you do touch things then there will be quite the problem for us to deal with and no it won't be safe." His expression shifted back to a caring smile, "I trust you though, I know you can follow directions. So yes, this tour will be perfectly safe, you won't need to worry about forgetting all of this since you've managed to keep Selena a secret so well." Dax took heart at Illiad's words, and began trotting along in earnest; it was surprising how much trust he put into the unicorn he'd barely known for a whole week. Illiad might have to keep an eye on Dax - even Troy had its' share of manipulative ponies, and poor Dax was so very trusting... Anyhoo, they eventually reached the doors, and after Taps got the open, the three of them were greeted by the rows and rows of shelves stored in this place. A world of treasures, all hidden underneath an innocuous Pony Express office. Dax kept looking around, mystified. "Whooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa..." Taps stepped forward and, with a sweeping gesture, addressed the young Blackwater. "Welcome, Dax... to The Closet, one of Equestria's best kept secrets." She strolled inside, taking on the air of a tour guide. "Long ago, Her Majesty Princess Celestia came to the realization that there are a number of things that could cause grievous harm if misused or exploited, so it became the solemn duty of her Agents to seek, collect and safely store these trinkets away from public view. The Closet is the only place in ALL of Equestria that can and does hold these varied, powerful, strange and unusual artifacts from many, many lands." "The section lit by green candles holds a number of healing or beneficial artifacts; of course, because they're here, it means they're either cursed in some way or extremely unique and limited." "For example," she strolled over and pointed a hoof at a very old-looking vase with a cork stoppered in the top, "this is the reliquary that holds what are called 'Luna's Tears'; they were supposedly taken from Luna's own royal garments that she cast aside when she made her transformation into Nightmare Moon - these were her last tears as Celestia's sister, before her exile. They hold the power to heal ANY wound, no matter how great or fatal... but they cannot restore life to one who has already passed." She turned to a small, unassuming ball of yarn. "And this is the Surgeon's String; it can sew up any pain or wound all by itself, and sterilizes and seals it, as well... however, the one treated by it suddenly and irrevocably gains an obsession with medicine. There were several doctors in Appaloosa who weren't even trained properly before we got THIS little devil put away." She pointed further down. "The blue candles are for passive or less noticeable effects, like this innocent-looking cup." She motioned to a very plain wooden cup, a single small chip missing from the rim. "Drink anything you want to from it, but if you drink through THAT little divot," she pointed out the chip, "then you'll be a parasprite magnet for the next two days. And trust me, they'll COME for you; they always do." She waved a hoof towards the back. "The black and white candles are for artifacts that can ONLY be activated by alicorns, or one meeting the requirements for such. Her Majesty Princess Celestia HERSELF gathered the majority of these precious things, so they all have fierce wards on them." She pointed at different sources as she described them. "The yellow candles denote the area we keep the artifacts that subvert personalities... or, in layman's terms, take you over. The orange ones are for clothing with magical properties, like cloaks of invisibility and such. The purple ones represent the section we keep for magical weaponry of all kinds." Dax looked at each example as she spoke, yet he glanced toward one side and lifted an eyebrow. "What about those red candles? What are they for?" Taps' eyes darted to Illiad for a moment, then looked back at Dax. "That's the REALLY dangerous stuff; why, care to say hi to your old friend Havoc?" Dax shuddered. "No thanks." Taps grinned, then began to lead them both along a shelf lined with sealed jars of all sizes, from golf ball to gorilla sized. She lightly tapped on a jar here and there, as if counting them by sections. "I have been the guardian for this gathering of goodies for almost three hundred years now... I was hoof-picked for this position, and Her Majesty has personally told me that I have done an absolutely stellar job of such. Perhaps I may have had a slip-up," she said, attempting to preempt Illiad's comment, "but that would make a grand total of ONE in the last century; I daresay I'd doubt anyone would have done a better job." Dax was still looking around, fascinated. "Well, this is... it's... wait." He looked at Taps directly. "If all this stuff has been HERE for all this time... why hasn't it ever been used to help save Equestria? I mean, the element bearers have saved us again and again - wouldn't this make it easier on them if these things were used to help out? I mean, not ALL of them, of course... but I'm sure SOME of these could be used to help safeguard Equestria, right?" Taps sighed heavily, and Illiad could feel the disappointment rise in her - though it almost seemed as if she was EXPECTING this reaction. "Perhaps your friend could explain it better to you... Mister Easle? Can YOU explain why these things aren't safe?" Illiad's eyes widened dramatically at one of Taps last comments. "Wait wait wait, Hold up. By the Technicolor Trenchcoat of Tartarus did you say you've been the guardian here for 300 YEARS? How in the starry night sky did you manage that?" He gave a slight laugh as he carefully started walking back and forth, "That certainly explains your stubbornness, your wealth of knowledge beyond your apparent years, and the crushing loneliness you've started to feel. Not only do you lack anyone you really feel you can confide in but you're starting to come to the full realization that you'll watch everyone you meet wither and die before you as time goes on. You don't keep silent because you're afraid of the questions, no. You keep silent because you're afraid of getting attached, well aware of the loss you'll feel in the future when they inevitably pass on." He sighed as he sat down, taking extreme care to not disturb anything in the room by doing so. "The question then is why hasn't Clockwork noticed your strange longevity yet, I know already you're not secretly a queen because I can feel you." He shook his head. He turned to Dax, "Despite that mess that appeared you still deserve an answer that I am hardly adequate to give as I too think these things could be very useful to Equestria. I think the biggest problem here is once again Celestia as she can't use anything from here without having to admit this place exists, and she can't admit this place exists without further revealing to the public that she keeps dangerous secrets, and we know how well the last two of those secrets went when they came out." He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Other than that, like Taps said the majority of the things here are dangerous or otherwise hard to use effectively by anyone who hasn't had years to study them. Even the healing items as Taps said are either cursed in some way or very limited in supply, thus not very useful outside of emergencies." He turned towards Taps with a face of almost scientific awe, "Was that about right? Both my answer to Dax and what I said earlier as it seems you have a bit of explaining to do." Taps stood there, poker-faced in both expression and mood, as Illiad spoke. Once he finished, she stepped back a single pace, then made a point of looking Illiad directly in the eye. "You cannot see why they have to be collected and kept out of the public eye? REALLY? And this AFTER the incident with The Jinx Stone... you still can't understand it? Well, Her Majesty Princess Luna can't ALWAYS pick the brightest, I suppose... " She sighed, then turned back to Dax. "In the case of every single thing here, there were ponies involved who were either cruel, power-mad, bullies or simply innocents who didn't realize what they had... and our organization had to pry these artifacts from them BECAUSE they were being used for either evil or greedy personal benefit. And there are a LOT of ponies out there who could make QUITE a mess with even ONE of these trinkets... imagine if they were ALL accessible?" She paced as she spoke. "And also, it could certainly be said that there are a number of things here that could prove useful, yes... but once they're used for whatever purpose, it'll just be that much easier to use it again... and again... and again... until it becomes so commonplace, that ponies FORGET how to deal with the crisis on their own. Oh yes, let's use the Censer of Sunlight to banish the evil shades! Okay, why not again? Sure, let's do it a third time! What? Someone STOLE it to sell it on the Black Market to some unknowable client with unknowable intentions? Oh, well NOW what will we do?" She stopped pacing, and made her way over to Dax, getting close enough that if the young stallion wanted to kiss her, he wouldn't have to move much at all. "It's SO easy to assume that everypony out there will keep their intentions noble, pure and selfless when you're the child of a wealthy family, I'm sure... but those of us who live in the REAL world realize the danger inherent, not only in these artifacts, but the ponies who could get their hooves on them. Do you understand that?" Dax now looked a bit irked. "So, just automatically assume that EVERYPONY is evil, and keep these things away from EVERYPONY? These are WONDERS, Taps! These are simply amazing, and the things they DO are amazing! Do you realize what this could mean for Equestria if... heck if FIVE of these things were given to responsible individuals? Training provided? These could be used to better ALL of Ponykind!" Taps sighed deeply, and the bottom dropped out of her mood. She turned sadly, and made her way to one of the nearby shelves, stopping next to what looked like some sort of eggbeater-looking-thingy. "Even if we only had access to a FRACTION of this place, I'm sure we could find SOMEthing we could use!" Taps took up the contraption in hoof and brought it back over as Dax continued. "You could even help, Taps! I mean, you know ALL this stuff, right? You could start with the healing items, then we could work our way down the list, matching up artifacts to potential users before allowing them to be brought outside of here... and we could always monitor them, as well. After all, if we could just get-" Taps pointed the thing at Dax and simply said, "Sorry, Daxie - you failed. Again. Better luck next time." "Hunh?" She turned the crank-looking-thing, and a purple glow surrounded both the device and Dax's head; his words stopped immediately, and his entire emotional makeup went dead silent. He looked absolutely gone from his own body; Illiad picked up nothing from Dax's emotional matrix. The stallion standing there right now was doing nothing but breathing,... it was eerie. This done, Taps sadly went back over to the shelf and replaced the tool where she'd gotten it from. "Well, I thought he'd be ready this time... but I suppose not." She eyeballed Illiad. "And YOU." She walked over, looking unafraid into his eyes. "You want answers? Fine: Yes, 300 years. Celestia allowed me to OWN an artifact, a very special one, which keeps me young and able - and I am VERY GRATEFUL for this opportunity, Trojan..." Actually... her feelings told Illiad otherwise. "... an opportunity you take EVERY instance to slap into the mud! Would it make you happy if I came to YOUR home, criticized Her Majesty Princess Luna, and generally told everyone you introduced me to that you were 'stubborn', as well? Because that's what YOU'VE been doing since we first met - so busy espousing how WONDERFUL Troy is while taking every chance you have to tear MY beliefs down. Tell me something, Trojan... is THAT how your parents taught you to act in front of guests? Friends? Potential allies? Walk into their homes and insult the heck out of them and their beliefs?" He could feel her anger rising... and it wasn't pretty. "You've not missed a single chance to SPIT on me, my job OR My Princess..." Wait. What was..? "... and you're always so SNOTTY about it..." That wasn't anger... "... and I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME I AM LONELY, MISTER HOLIER-THAN-THOU! I KNOW I'M WORTHLESS; I DON'T NEED A REMINDER! I KNOW I've been all but forgotten! I KNOW nobody even really CARES what I do here, as long as things get done! I KNOW that my family is LONG dead, and I KNOW I'm being USED! I KNOW THAT! DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!?!" Then, it happened. As Illiad looked at her, Taps' face first twitched, then melted as fat tears began to well up in her eyes. "I have been trying for EIGHT YEARS to get Dax to accept what's down here! EIGHT LONG YEARS, EASLE! And EVERY TIME, he gets to this same point - share the magic, he says! Due to the fact that he'd give away The Closet's secret, simply because he'd feel it was the RIGHT THING TO DO, I have to MindWipe him of the experience EVERY TIME... AND THIS MAKES ATTEMPT NUMBER...number..." Taps, miserable, simply sat down on the floor. "... I can't even remember anymore." She buried her face in her hooves and bawled like a foal. Illiad made a mental note to Selena to have a document written up to counter all Taps' points as now really wasn't the time to jab back. A pity though as he really would have wanted to had he not actually managed to break through that exterior of hers. He gave a long sigh as he stood back up, his face serious as his horn glowed a bit brighter than usual, "Sometimes you have to break things down before they can be built back up. I guess Midnight's purpose is not as alien to mine as I had previously supposed in that regard." With a blink of light, Taps was exposed to Illiad's own emotional depths, seeing in such a way that there would be no denying the truth of what he said. "You are not worthless, in fact, you are presently one of the most important and powerful ponies in the entire world. Even Celestia and Luna can be replaced in their duties but there is no one that can bear your burden. No one else can be trusted to keep this place and its contents safe like you can." A tear came to his eye and the sadness was apparent, "I never meant to hurt you Taps, I only wanted to help you, leave you better off than when I first met you. The loneliness you feel... the sadness... the ache... you don't know what it's like to be an Empathic next to that. It hurts me to feel another hurting as you do, even worse when no matter what I tried it only seemed to push you away, put you further into depression. Despite your harsh words against me and the things I care about I still want to consider you a friend, but it seems clear to me now that I'm the last pony you'd want to call a friend, and I can hardly blame you at this point. I pushed you too hard, and for that I am sorry." With that the tear fell and the connection was closed, he lifted Dax onto his back as he turned back towards the way he had come from. "If you want I'll leave you alone, never bother you again unless absolutely necessary. I'll even leave this place off of my report to Luna if you want." He took a step, "Just think about this, will you? What if Dax is right? I see your side and can agree with most of your points, some things really should be simply disposed of or left unused. But with sufficient restrictions, other things could still be very useful." "Easle." The word dropped from her lips, and her tears continued to patter onto the floor. "You have got to understand. GOT to understand. This... this..." She sniffled, then wiped a hoof across her mismatched eyes. "... this isn't the first Closet. It's not even the third; this is number five." She began gathering herself, smoothing her mane back into place and trying to clear her tears from her cheeks... but her heart hung heavy as she spoke. "Over three centuries, The Closet was discovered a grand total of four times. The last one was in Los Pegasus, and that was during my time as a croupier... and where Luther Blackwater found me and brought me here. Before that? Vanhoover, underneath a library where I was the ONLY librarian. Preceding that one? Baltimare, where I served faithfully as a cropduster, hiding The Closet beneath the storage shed where the chemicals were kept." She sighed deeply. "You can see what's left of the first one if you search the ruins of the Royal Palace of the Sun and Moon, where Nightmare Moon was stopped by Twilight Sparkle and the other Element of Harmony Bearers. By the time The Closet had come to exist, the palace had already fallen... but it was nowhere NEAR as bad as it is today when I was there." Her mood wobbled, but nothing out of the ordinary; she was simply trying to gather her emotional bearings, as it were. "In every instance except the first, the entire reason The Closet was discovered was because somepony I befriended or did a favor for took notice of me, and it led to discovery, which led to arson, robbery and almost meditated murder - and every time, I had to find a NEW place, a NEW life, and a NEW profession." She shook for a moment, yet no sound came out... then she continued. "Easle, I've been hoping to befriend Dax so that, should he inherit this place, he could not only help me keep this a secret... but so I'll have someone to talk to for a while - maybe even future generations. In every place I ever stayed, I tried to reach out, tried to make an ally... and what I got in return was heartache, headache, and more work as I had to relocate the ENTIRE STOCK, every time." She motioned to the massive warehouse full of seemingly endless rows of shelves. "ALL of this... one piece at a time, so as not to risk multiple artifacts... by myself. The first one - THAT was a pure accident and not MY fault. The others..." She winced, then lowered her head. "The others were all because I'd reached out and dared to touch a life. I reached outside of my boundaries and got played for a fool. Each time, it resulted in something being stolen or misused - and meant I had to start over." "With Daxter... well, I'd thought he would make a fine confidant, especially if I won him over early... but the first time I brought him down here, he tried to touch something even more dangerous than The Jinx Stone; it scared him senseless, so I had to MindWipe him to simply get him..." She looked at Illiad, then nodded to herself as she made a personal decision. "... get him sane again. Little Dax lost his mind - literally. The artifact in question, The Banshee Gasp, drives whoever touches it completely insane; he wasn't very clear on the 'no touching' rule back then. Again and again, over all these years, I've brought him down here at intervals, testing his mettle and mindset to see if he's ready to KNOW." Now, she looked away, scanning the shelf across from her, but not really looking for anything. "And he still has yet to pass... because I do NOT want to put him at risk simply to alleviate my loneliness, I can't allow him to leave here with that knowledge. Because I already have experience with what that will bring." Illiad stopped his progress towards the stairs and set Dax back down before turning back towards Taps. He looked drained, a lingering sadness to his features. "I had no idea you were so unlucky with friendships, I suppose it isn't too much unlike myself though you already know the story about how I was betrayed by my first and longest group of friends for daring tell them the truth since you used it in one of your jabs at me. I guess I can't blame you for being even more cautious about forming relationships, it's tragic really what's happened to you. All I can say is there are trustworthy ponies out there in the world, they just seem to be fewer and further between than we'd hope and you never really know for sure until it's too late to stop them." He looked over at Dax, "He's never going to learn how to do it right if he forgets every time he does it wrong, he can't learn from his mistakes if he can't remember making them. Helping others is his first instinct, he needs to be taught that some things are too dangerous to be risked on innocents before he will actually see that, and he can't learn that anywhere else but from you, and he'll have to remember if he's going to do it any better." "Easle... it's time I came clean about something, though I think you might not be as surprised as I once thought you'd be..." She sat there for a moment. Just as it seemed like she was done speaking, she spoke again... and a mixture of dread and determination rolled from her freely as she uttered five small words that would not only help her determine if Illiad himself would need a MindWipe... but would help her decide what she would do from here. The words were simple, yet speaking them - to THIS unicorn, especially - could mean ANYTHING from him. Here was where she would see what kind of stallion Illiad Easle could become when put on the spot... and whether Taps could make a friend, or Special Agent Steel Wheels would have to intervene. "... the Storm Sapphire is here," she said softly. Illiad's face shifted to one of mild surprise as Taps talked about the storm sapphire, "Well, isn't that something? Mind telling me how it ended up in your collection? The whole only returned a few years ago so it either landed here or was brought here, though the real question is whether you've put the shard back in the whole, I'd think so given it would explain why it hasn't rained here in so long, you likely had the shard long before you had the whole." Illiad's face grew serious as his diamond ran like a river up his body into a sort of crown on his head with a small set of scales sitting on the front, his eyes seemed to have a slight glow to them. "As the balance of good and evil we need to see the sapphire to confirm our suspicions, would you kindly?" "Best you wait a moment before we take another single step." Taps looked at Illiad, and her face set itself into a hard, serious look. "You're more than even your records say you are, and that's quite a feat... but you'd also best understand that it's staying HERE, Easle. That stone was sent to me directly by Celestia's magic, and even if it is what you seek, I won't give it up. You may be all sorts of powerful, Trojan, but I'm the Mistress of this place - and from where I stand, in any direction, there will be a number of things that I can use to stop you easily... all before you can even blink." She strode up to him, dwarfed by even Illiad's stature, yet bold and unafraid as she looked up into his eyes. "Just so we're clear, it stays here. Period." Illiad gave a slight smile, "Oh when the sapphire wants to leave there's nothing either of us would be able to do to stop it. It helped defeat Discord way back before Luna used this diamond to become Nightmare Moon. It represents a force, or rather THE force of nature, though it seems you're already aware of some aspect of its power in the utter lack of rain on the quarry." He sighed as he shook his head, "I won't get into asking why you would want that, it hardly matters at the moment but it does bring up an interesting idea despite your age and race." She glanced over at Dax for a moment. "As for poor Daxie, well... he'll mature. In fact, this trip to Troy might actually prepare him for accepting this responsibility. And it IS one, you know - keeping The Closet a secret. With time and wisdom, he'll come around - then, I won't have to MindWipe him again. Simple as that." Dax still looked spaced-out, but Taps simply sighed. "Well, let's get this over with before he snaps out of it." She headed for the red-curtained section, then stopped at the threshold. "After you, Easle; I'm RIGHT behind you." On the other side of the curtain, the walls themselves were covered with protection runes, geas runes, barrier runes, curse runes, alarm runes, writs of sealing, and just about any sort of protection spell you might like. It was COVERED in them, wall-to-wall protections. Even the red candles that hung from the walls had runes carved into their waxy skins, tattoos of safety. There were considerably fewer artifacts in here than in other areas of The Closet. What looked to be a total of twenty-five podiums stuck up from the ground, and each had a clear glass bell over it, covering whatever was contained within. There were a number of artifacts here that Illiad himself had heard rumor of - not to mention the presence of The Jinx Stone under one bell. It almost seemed to wink at him as his eyes wandered over it. But there, in all its' thunderous glory, was the Storm Sapphire; there was no mistake that it was the real deal. "Well, Easle? Now what?" Taps spoke from behind him. "Proof enough?" Illiad approached the glass bell, being careful not to touch it as he didn't know if doing so would set off alarms. "You see, Clockwork and I, he's the balance of sickness and health and the one I mentioned earlier that would be rather displeased if you resurrected someone without a good cause, we're both unicorns and just about the same age. Thus we had thought that the other balances would also be unicorns and about our age, but it seems this stone has other ideas." He turned back to Taps, "One of the following will happen, either the stone will leave through some freak accident or coordinated theft where it is the only thing stolen similar to how I got the diamond, or you will find yourself carrying it with you. Should the latter occur you will either find yourself having given it away or you will encounter in full the entity that lies within. In any of these cases the new bearer of the balance of rain and shine, and by extension the balance of nature, will have been found and this search of ours will be over." He walked back towards Taps, "Until one of those happens we are content to leave it in your care on the condition that you tell us if one of those outcomes does occur or if anything else happens to the Sapphire." Illiad looked around the room, shuddering as both the crown retreated from his head, flowing back into his robes, and as he looked over the jinx stone. He looked back towards Taps, "Now unless you're also hiding an octahedral hunk of taaffeite that makes you as smart as you are strong and vice versa, I think we should exit the closet before Dax wakes up. Unless also you have some questions about my station you would like answered in private?" Taps looked at the stone for a moment herself. "... octahedral... n-no, no." She actually seemed a bit rattled by the events of the last few moments, and it didn't sit well with her. She gave a glance around the highly dangerous area, then looked to the Trojan again. "Balance... there's mention of some duty to balance in your file, but..." She sighed. "... never mind; there's ALWAYS something more powerful. ALWAYS something bigger. ALWAYS something better." She turned back to face Illiad. "Those letters I gave you... one is a token of appreciation for your help with the... 'incident' earlier. The other..." Taps turned from Illiad, making her way back to Dax. "The other isn't important; burn it." From the sharp knot of hurt she evidenced, it apparently was... though she certainly wasn't in the mood to explain why. She made her way up to Dax, still standing like a zombie, and leaned close to his left ear. "You came to the Pony Express office to ask Taps what to give as a present for a mail carrier; I gave you a cooler pack, and you said thanks, then you and your buddy headed back out - nothing else happened." "... nothing... else... happened..." She looked over at the unicorn. "You say he'll never learn if he doesn't remember; I say that he needs to show evidence that he's ready to know BEFORE he knows. This isn't some sort of placation measure to keep from hurting his feelings, Easle - if he's NOT of an attitude to keep it secret, then he's NOT leaving here with this knowledge." She shot him a sidelong glance. "YOUR secrets might be able to care for themselves; as I'm no massively powerful being, I don't GET that luxury... so I have to babysit them. Forever." She looked into Dax's eyes one more time, then nodded. "Come on; let's get him upstairs before I have to do it again." She gave his flank a gentle push, and he began to amble wordlessly toward the stairs. Taps followed, yet stopped at the threshold. "I do have a question, actually... if you hold so much power, then why waste your time letting things happen as they do? Why not simply fix everything so it turns out all nice-and-shiny for everyone, hmmm? Why can't you bring yourself to 'balance'things that way?" She trotted back over to Illiad and looked him in the eye. "... let me guess: 'that's not how it works'?" She turned back around, nudging Dax up the stairwell. "In THAT way, you and Her Majesty Princess Celestia are almost TWINS..." Illiad followed dutifully behind Taps as she nudged Dax up the stairs, he had planned to pretend Dax had taken a bad fall and fill in what he had forgotten, but he supposed this could work as well. "I'm hardly as powerful as you may think, though perhaps I underestimate my own abilities. My secrets don't care for themselves so much as they are the sorts of things many would hardly think to ask about. No one would guess that a disembodied soul is bound to this diamond or that I have a hoof in big world events. Similar I guess to yourself, before the Jinx incident I had no idea that you could be hiding something." He sighed, "While I may have power at times, it is only when the diamond agrees to my course. It won't aid me if I try to go against what it needs for the world. Even then, the world needs bad things to happen every once in a while so that we don't grow too careless, too soft. I try when I can to ensure that things turn out alright in the end for those involved, to end on a good note, but that can't always be, it isn't balanced if everyone gets good and no one gets bad. In the end, it's more that I'm the pawn, the tool the diamond uses to enact karma and balance in the world rather than the one making the decisions." He looked more serious, "But even if I could make things be all good for everyone, I wouldn't. We need hardships to learn and to grow. We can't have heroes without villains or calamities, we can't progress without trials. If there were no bad there could be no good, no right action because there could be no wrong action, thus without bad things all things are meaningless. Most can't see it that way because they've already experienced and been changed by hardship. Right from birth we've experienced pain to know comfort, had a bad so a good could exist. We already know bad so all we want is good, but the striving to change our own circumstances, to bring ourselves to the good, that's what makes the good worthwhile." His face dropped a bit, "Celestia and I are not the same, she has a choice, I don't. She could have stopped Nightmare Moon from happening had she let Luna do her job as the previous balance of good and evil. But she didn't, leaving Luna without the choice to become anything but the nightmare." Taps rolled her eyes. "Very well - we'll take it by YOUR words, then. By YOUR words, Her Majesty Princess Celestia is a coward, a liar, a traitor and nothing more than a selfish brat who has no one's interest at heart but her own. She PURPOSELY led Her Majesty Princess Luna down the wrong path, then exiled her because she didn't like competition. Since then, she has been forcing everypony to do her bidding, and has laughed and laughed and laughed at us every day since then." She reached the top of the stairs and gave Dax a light shove out of the broom closet. "Because she is EVIL, oh-so-evil, and if Troy doesn't lead the world in putting an end to her vicious tyranny, wherein everypony suffers forever, we shall have to rise up as one and strike down the wicked dictator, putting an end to herHORRIBLE, TERRIBLE reign over the poor, innocent, and blameless world around her. Oh, and allow me to guess, Her Majesty will have to be KILLED of course, as there is CERTAINLY no other way this could turn out well for the WORLD unless Her Majesty Princess Celestia is PUNISHED for all the awful things she's done!" She turned to Illiad, eyes tired and pained. "Easle, I'm NOT stupid - I am WELL aware that a balance has to be maintained... but if your time at this quarry is any indicator, I'd say you're going to end up destroying the world. You keep talking about balance, but your presence in this quarry has been the most IMbalancing thing I've EVER seen - and I've been alive for a VERY long time." The three of them back in the Pony Express office, Taps closed the broom closet door, then made her way toward the counter. "You preach of balance, but what about when Vylia Blackwater met your parents? How was THAT balanced? The part where she made your Mother uncomfortable, or the part where Vylia left, embarrassed and hurt? Where's the balance there? What about utterly ending the existence of a guardian spirit - yet when it comes to their king, you simply let him go? And The Jinx Stone - if you truly WERE about balance, then you might have considered the fact that Equestria has never been more peaceful... so it would have been far MORE of a balance to simply let Havoc run amok, allowing for a new turn in the wheel of events." She ducked down beneath the front counter, rummaging for something while she continued. "It appears to me as though YOU are the one who seems to decide what IS a 'balance', and what ISN'T. YOU choose who's right and who's wrong. YOU look at the grand tapestry of life, and YOU decide what strands look like they need snapping..." She came up from beneath, slinging a strange vest-looking-thing onto the countertop. It appeared to be made of gray/black fabric, and there were holes for wings in the back. She shoved it forward, with it sliding to a stop about three inches from Dax, still standing as if he were completely spaced out. "... tell me again, Easle, how that DOESN'T compare you to everything you've accused Her Majesty of? Face it - you only talk about balance when it works for YOU, don't you? Do you honestly believe that Her Majesty Princess Celestia WANTED to send her sister away? Do you think she INTENDED for things to have gotten as bad as they did? Her own sister, living in her shadow?" She motioned to the vest. "There - a Cooler Pack, something no MailPony should be without. Tubes threaded through the vest, connected to a hidden waterskin, keep the wearer cool, a small access tube allows for drinks in mid-flight, and it's easily cleanable, yet sturdy enough to last through a few crash landings. THERE is what Dax asked for, and now he has it." She turned back to face Illiad. "Answer me this, Easle: If, someday, you had to sacrifice Dax here to maintain a balance... WOULD YOU?" Illiad looked down and sighed, this was not a look of submission, however, it was one of calming, calculating. He looked up with a cool fire in his eyes, yet lacking in any emotional involvement. "And thus I will respond to each of your points in turn." "Celestia is a coward, not because of her plight as an immortal as I cannot fault her for that, but because in her attempts to free herself from the inherent loneliness she has subjected others to that selfsame isolation that she fears, first the Black Knight, then her own sister, then Midnight Star, and now you as the latest case. Celestia is a liar, not for any malicious purpose, but for her own personal comfort. She tells her subjects that she is the only one who can lead them so that they will never leave her nor question her decisions. Great for peace, but horrible for independent thought or social progress. Celestia is a traitor as she considers herself only beholden to her subjects, but does only what she thinks is good for them when it is also good for herself when she ought to do what is best for her subjects regardless of how good it is for herself. Thus by her own attempts to care for her subjects she ultimately betrays them by her own fears. Celestia is selfish due to her plight as an immortal. The pain of isolation and uselessness is so great to her that she would understandably do anything to prevent it, but her preventative measures have nothing by which to be tempered by and thus have gone too far, putting her needs too far above those of her subjects. Celestia forced Luna down the wrong path because she couldn't allow any hardship to befall her subjects lest it shake their faith in her as a perfect leader. Then when Luna did what she had to do Celestia was too forced to banish her as again she must appear to be strong before her subjects." "Secondly, Celestia is not evil. Despite her insecurities and overhooved ways of protecting against her plight she still acts in a direction of good, just not nearly what is best for her or the world. Troy has no interest in toppling Celestia as the social and economic crisis the world would face afterward would be catastrophic to the state of the world. No, when Celestia falls it will have been from within, a shift of internal ideology where the Equestrians themselves state that they don't need Celestia to guide them any longer, that they are ready to handle their own affairs in the world. Celestia will not be killed, nor would she need to be as murder is the furthest thing from her list of crimes. Nonetheless, the time will come when she will be made to pay for the pain she has caused, to feel the isolation she inflicted on others." "Moving on, your talk of my exploits in balance show your limited understanding of my responsibilities. Karma is not something that is kept balanced at all times, it is a pervasive force throughout lives that ensures a balanced end result. So too do I. I ensure that there is a constant swing of the pendulum back and forth, good times interspaced with bad times. Ideally, we have the occasional very bad event followed by long periods of peaceful time. Presently the world is at the peak of a good shift, with another bad event coming up in the next few years, but that's on the macro side of things. In regards to the meeting with my parents, I am first of all deeply concerned with the level of information you have on my doings. Second, I, like Luna, am only really responsible for the macro side of things, while I can perceive individual levels of karma and assist in their balancing, it is not my place in the world to do so on such a small scale. The encounter in the cave I can assure you was balanced, the retribution spell always leaves its target at a state of zeroed karma. I was unaware that it had died as a result, though as it murdered I am not surprised. The King as well acted in balance, he was stolen from so he stole as well, when his property was returned so was Oglevy and he cannot be faulted for a difference in perceived value. As to the Jinx stone, you say Equestria has never been more peaceful? Yet in the last three years, you've had three major calamities when for the past half-dozen centuries there have been no notable events to date. And again, it is not yet time for the next major bad thing to happen, letting Havoc go free would have upset the rhythm of balance for centuries." "By my count then I don't see any points where I really decided what was or was not balanced, but rather confirmed that things were in fact the way they were meant to be. Could you say in the case of the king and the knight that their outcome was not just? Would you still say that I should have let Havoc kill me then continue on into the rest of Equestria? I suppose then I may not be too far from Celestia but I'll state the points and see what you think." "Am I a coward? I did flee my foalhood home after being attacked in the streets for being different. I also returned there to defend it against invasion when called despite it. I even helped you fight Havoc when I just as easily could have fled the quarry to let you deal with it. Am I a liar? While I haven't told everyone everything, I have no recollection of telling a mistruth maliciously. But I have also told the whole truth to those I know can handle it, such as yourself. Am I a traitor? To which the same thing as my response to coward also applies. I left my home but returned to defend it when it called, and I stayed to protect my friends rather than betray them for my own gain. Am I Selfish? I'll leave that one to you." "Finally, I don't believe Celestia wanted to send Luna away, and of course did not intend for the outcome, but those were the consequences of her actions and she had been warned by Luna before it all went down. Everyone thinks it was jealousy that made Nightmare Moon, but it was a necessity of imbalance. As Celestia would not admit the balance existed, as then it would prove that Luna had been justified. She attributed her sister's actions to jealousy and left her name to be forgotten over a thousand years until barely any in Equestria knew the name Luna and only a few more knew Nightmare Moon as anything more than a legend." Illiad sighed at the end of his speech, hoping it would carry some weight. "Thanks then for the cooler pack, I'll be sure Dax mentions to you how well it is received. And to answer your last question..." He turned to look on Dax for a few moments before turning back towards Taps with a sad look in his eyes. "I'd do everything I could to make it so he wouldn't need to be sacrificed. I'd even offer myself in his place if it would help, I'd do that for all of my friends and I know some of them would do the same for me. But if it came down to it, then I would. I wouldn't really have much of a choice now would I? As good a friend as he is to me, I can't put him above the needs of the entire world. But rest assured I would look for every alternative before it would have to be done." He sighed as he turned back towards Dax, "Now tell me this Taps. If Celestia were to order you to destroy all the artifacts in your possession, then eliminate all those who had been affected by them to prevent any word from getting out, which at this point means me especially, would you?" Taps gave a frustrated groan. "You ALWAYS have answers, don't you?" She sat on her stool behind the counter and stared hard at Illiad. "Even if I came up with anything remotely legitimate to put forth as a point, you'd use several others to shoot it down. You're so busy debating YOUR side that you seem to refuse to acknowledge that you might be wrong... exactly as you accuse Her Majesty of. I can believe that Princess Celestia has made some mistakes, yes - but you seem to espouse that Princess Luna is FLAWLESS... and I'll bet you blame that WHOLLY on Her Majesty too, of course. Nothing at all about how she should have made her presence more known, that she could have addressed her subjects about such, how she could have simply taken steps to see that balance was maintained WITHOUT needing to even involve her sister..." She leveled a stare at the Trojan. "No, it's all Her Majesty's fault to you - because you're so busy bowing to the moon that you're willing to deny the sun, simply to bask in the lunar glory. How pompous and arrogant of you; foregone conclusion that Her Majesty Princess Luna was blameless, so you continuously rank Princess Celestia out when you can and cause as much hate and angst toward her as possible... and don't try to tell me you haven't; I've had to push and push for you to simply admit she doesn't deserve to die - otherwise, it would simply keep getting worse and worse." "And your rationale over Dax is flawed - I said, if you HAD to, not 'only if you can't save him'. I'm not talking about a CHOICE, Easle - I'm talking about a SOLEMN DUTY to OTHERS, which Her Majesty Princess Celestia - REGARDLESS OF YOUR JIBES - is STILL sworn to. She may have made mistakes about such, but NOPONY is perfect... not even Her Majesty Princess Luna, despite your propaganda to the contrary." "If her sister was hurt, so was she - and YOU are a monster if you think otherwise. Someday, Easle, you will HAVE TO LEARN about REAL life, and how it's hardly as cookie-cutter or cut-and-dry as you seem to believe it is. With you, it's either wrong or right - regardless of why, as long as it 'balances' properly. Someday, you'll be called upon to make a decision - one you'll hate because it won't BALANCE anything, but it'll have to be made all the same." "When that day comes, I hope you take a moment to consider how Her Majesty has to feel EVERY DAY AND NIGHT. She made her decisions, and she has to live with them; someday, you'll understand." She looked over at Dax and shut her eyes. "If the order came down to destroy it all, I would only need to activate three artifacts here; the entire quarry would be a smoldering crater, and nopony would be left alive in a two-mile radius. Would I WANT to do it? No, I wouldn't... but would I do it?" Her eyes narrowed. "What's one more body against the pillars, eh? Be it you, me, Dax, or anypony else... would they be worth potentially sentencing hundreds more to death? Thousands? Where's your precious 'balance' now, eh? What would balance out YOUR loss, if you had to do it? Or is balance simply a concept meant for debate and doesn't apply to reality?" She sat back on her stool, eyes locked on Illiad. "You say life is a balance, which would conclude that life is fair - if it isn't fair, it can never BE balanced... unless you'd like to explain how up is down, black is really white and being utterly filthy can make you clean? Or... you could simply admit you MIGHT be wrong, of course - but I don't think Trojan pride has even the smallest iota of room for anything as far-fetched as 'humility', so I doubt you'll be able to even understand the concept of NOT being 'perfect'... since, of course, you're SO experienced, and wise, and aged..." The sour look she gave him spoke volumes that her sarcasm couldn't reach without yelling. Illiad looked nonplussed, "You say you don't want to debate, yet you continue, and thus so shall I. I guess it's that Canterlot snobbishness one gets from having lived the majority of their life there that compels me to continue. I try to always have answers, yes. I don't often do anything without a well-reasoned explanation for it." He thought of ways he could use that to attack Taps, but he withheld. He would stay civil even if Taps would keep attacking him. "I continue as if I am correct as I have yet to be proven wrong, I have admitted on occasion, most especially in my last set, that Celestia has a very valid set of reasoning for her actions and I cannot guarantee that I would not do likewise were I in the same position. Nonetheless, the actions taken are still wrong. I'm of course not saying that Celestia hasn't done some good things, in fact, I'd say that she's done more good things than bad which are why I still consider her a good pony and a decent ruler. I may seem a bit overhoofed in my complaints against her but that is because many refuse to acknowledge those faults if I don't. I've also not said that Luna was flawless either, she too has her faults but Equestrians have no problem pointing those out. However, your attacks on what she ought to have done are frankly preposterous. Make her presence known? How could she do that whilst on the moon where she was when she was mostly forgotten? Before then she wasn't really jealous of Celestia, she simply didn't prefer the spotlight. The story of Luna's jealousy turning her into Nightmare Moon is little more than manufactured propaganda designed to hide the fact that the balance ever existed. But to say that Luna should have gone behind Celestia to cause disasters among their ponies? Are you honestly suggesting that Luna was wrong to get approval from her older sister and her partner in ruling Equestria? They were meant to rule together, supporting each other in their stations. If Luna were to go off without her sister's approval or after she had forbade the action it would have gone against the founding principles of the diarchy." He snorted as he shook his head, "Hardly any pony is perfect, and Celestia and Luna are no exceptions. It's the tendency of you Equestrians to paint Celestia as flawless that compels me to point out her mistakes so fervently. In a way, it balances a bit their unwavering infatuation with Celestia for me to despise her in an equal amount. Despite that, I never suggested she deserved death, and I feel my accusations against her are justified." He sighed, "As to Dax, I said I would sacrifice him if I had no other choice. You chose to look on my compassion, my desire to spare him in any way I could, as weakness. You think that because I dare care about the lives of others as more than a number towards balance that I would be so selfish as to save him over the salvation of countless others. It's the pain of that choice that confirms to me that I'm not dead inside. That the thought gives me pause proves that I still have emotions, that I care about those that must be effected in order to keep the world running smoothly on its course. In case you missed it again I'll say it one last time. I would sacrifice Dax if it was required to maintain balance." Illiad's face grew a bit annoyed at Taps' attacks, "You think I haven't learned about real life? That I've made it this far by dumb luck and the coddling of those around me? I know everything is a mix of positive and negative effects, and I know also that there are decisions that balance nothing, but those decisions that are as equally good as bad no matter which way you choose are by definition worthless decisions as they have literally no value in the scheme of things. I don't sweat those decisions because I know they literally don't matter. Celestia may have made her decisions, but the way she keeps on with them when she has every opportunity to correct them? To apologize for her misdeeds? Make amends for the relationships she has ruined? As it stands a total of two nations would come to Equestria's aid if it called for it, one of them being the puppet state of the Crystal Empire. And that is because of the lies she has told her citizens about the state of other nations, it has reached the point where many other nations have cut contact. She has even refused to be part of the Global Council, do you have any idea why? Honestly, I'm asking because I can't think of a legitimate reason why she wouldn't want to be in communication with the other powerful nations of the world." "You would go ahead and kill hundreds at just Celestia's word, and not even ask why? And simply kill them without even telling them that their own princess ordered their destruction? Perhaps it is worth killing them all to destroy the artifacts, but what if it isn't? I at least have the benefit of knowing exactly the consequence of my actions while you have to hope that Celestia is making the right call because you know there is no one that would question her orders. Where is my balance then you say? The living aren't the only ones who can be punished by Karma, in fact being dead makes it so much easier for Karma to exact your due. I know not for it is without my realm of responsibility. And the fact that my position even exists is proof enough that it has a place in reality as if it didn't I wouldn't be here." The fire in his eyes grew hotter as he made his way into his next statement, "You think I don't know that life isn't fair? You think I have no concept of pain and anguish? Life isn't fair, but Karma is. You may not get your vengeance, but you can rest assured you'll get what you deserve in the end. I made my peace with those that attacked me even though I was nearly beaten to death for daring to have been born empathic. A sentiment made prolific by Celestia herself. And you don't think I have a reason to get on her case even though she's responsible for nearly driving the empathic race to extinction." A tear came to his eye as he sat hard on the ground, "I'm hardly perfect, it's something I can never forget since this diamond will never let me forget that I'm less than perfect, that I can never be perfect. A point which you seem more than happy to also remind me of, drill it into me like my head is an ore vein." More tears fell from his eyes as his visibly deflated, his head drooping downward. "Sometimes I'm more of a puppet than a pony, going about my responsibilities because I must. No matter how tired I get of this burden I am compelled to keep on with it." He tore the diamond out from his cloak and tossed it out between him and Taps, his head still pointed towards the floor with his eyes closed. "Since you hate me so much for dissing on your princess, and since you're clearly so much smarter and wiser and better than me at everything. Why don't you just kill me and take it? You be the balance of Good and Evil then. You could even make it so no one knows I'm gone, erase their memories so that I never even existed." In a word Illiad looked and felt defeated, his mark blurring slightly as his sense of purpose was shaken. The tears continued to fall from his closed eyes though he made no sound. Taps stood there for a moment, quietly regarding the unicorn, though she certainly did feel a bit of remorse at seeing this happen. Then again, she'd cried herself earlier; she couldn't blame him, nor would she prod him about it. "When Her Ma-..." She took a breath, then started over. "When Celestia first brought me on board her Royal Guard, I had been both elated and scared for the future... but I stood with conviction. I really BELIEVED in what I was doing. Then, after my assignment to the Special Forces division, I felt utterly invincible. I kept that conviction and invincibility through a number of years... but it didn't last forever." She made her way around the desk to where Illiad was seated and sat across from him accordingly. "I may not have involved myself in local affairs, but I wasn't wearing blinders, either - I could see each thing you've said here, long before it actually happened. I even tried to head off a few things, as well... and I met with the level of success you would assume. It frustrated me to no end... but I didn't question whether what I was doing was RIGHT; just the results." "Then, a number of years back, I realized that I'd been effectively trapped here: I couldn't just leave it, nor could I hand it over to anypony else - could you imagine the problems from training alone? - but, worst of all, I'd left everything I had ever known far in my past, and had allowed what I could have been to be stolen by what I had become." She shrugged, but there was a sympathy there... in fact, she felt a tad guilty. "I guess... in my own, stubborn, angry way, I was simply trying to make sure you realized that it's okay to question oneself, and one's motives. I keep hearing about how you're so adamant about Celestia, yet I don't know if you've ever considered questioning Luna's motives as well. Those who don't give that some thought can easily end up as nothing but pawns - your own words - and I'd like to believe life is bigger... better than that for someone like you. Trust me, it isn't worth simply being a blind tool for another's aims." "What's more, you still have options; Illiad, if this power, whatever it is, ever passes to another, you'll still have a chance at a life. Something you can enjoy. Me?" She huffed a hard sigh, then looked at Illiad directly. "If I ever gave up on this - ALL of it - I'd have nothing. Nothing at all. You see, when you've committed your life to something as long as I have, you don't KNOW anything else. Worse, live long enough, and you'll come to realize it too. If I renounced Celestia's ways now, I'd have nothing left to believe in... no purpose. And likely STILL immortal, or at least as long as I can maintain, I suppose... I have no idea how long my service will last - but it's all I have, Illiad." She closed her eyes. "I... I am sorry for causing you such distress. At times, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to withstand the pressure of your debate; you don't leave me much room to defend myself with." She chuckled, then opened her mismatched eyes, focusing on the Trojan seated in front of her. "Truth be told? You've given me more food for thought than anypony has for decades; not easy to entertain someone who's seen as much as I have, but you make me feel inefficient. Not bad." She reached behind her, produced a hankerchief from her satchel, then held it out towards Illiad Easle. "Here; what say we keep our political opinions to ourselves - darts and all - and we simply try to give each other a chance to learn about the PONY behind the politics? For example, you're healthy, and you stick to healthy foods - that leads me to believe you have a lot of concern for personal care and, even if you don't like exercise, you'll do it. There's a sense of responsibility in that too, as well as forethought - both hallmarks of intelligent folk." "You're well-spoken, which only adds to the studious past you had, working at the library in Canterlot. Also because of this, you have a sense of pride that you wear well, and you come across as serious about your duty as I am mine. Proof of the RIGHT kind of stallion to be, in my opinion." "You're handsome, it's no secret," she grinned, "even though you're FAR from my type, to be honest. But Silver certainly seems to have taken quite the shine to you, and for THAT mare to notice anypony romantically is a miracle! Plus, you have a charm that's innate; you just seem to be made for dealing with the public, a good bet that you'll be doing some of that when you and Mister Hooves take the election in Troy." She stood up and offered Illiad a hoof... and an apologetic smile. "But we're not supposed to be talking politics anymore, are we?" "Heh," A slight smile came to Illiad's face as he accepted the offered hankerchief, which he then used to wipe the tears from his face. The diamond rolled back to him and he returned it to its place in his robes. "I was serious when I spoke earlier, you'd have to kill me to take over as the balance. Much like the elements of harmony, it's something I'll be carrying until I die unless I get disconnected like Luna and Celestia did. I don't really see that happening as I doubt I'd ever be immortal like them, so I never really thought what it'd be like if it passed off of me. I'd still be a designer I guess, living in Troy. This burden isn't my everything like yours is." He looked up with a slightly bigger smile than before, yet a tad suppressed from the one he had been wearing around the quarry, "I suppose I could agree to call a truce to talks on the princesses and other politics. And to be honest, you're not so bad yourself. Few have been able to put me on such guard like you have, it seems it was quite the challenge for the both of us." He took a deep breath as he stood up, "I guess I'm at the disadvantage in learning about you since you seem to have been keeping tabs on me, but you look pretty healthy too and you must be pretty well trained physically given your time in getting Luna here a few days ago. You're also much better with your words than I suppose anyone would expect given your disinclination to speak at all, plus you're nice to look at as well, though I'm biased in saying not quite as nice as Silver, but I suppose it's for the best that I was attracted to her given our differing ideologies. Despite that, I think we could still be friends so long as we are able to keep the politics out of it." Taps returned Illiad's smile. "Wholly agreed - I'd rather have an ally than an enemy, any day." She made her way back behind her counter, almost dwarfed by it until she sat on the tall stool. "By the way, after everything that had gone on yesterday, I felt you'd earned some applause for all you'd done... so I capped the Pillow last night; everyone remembers everything they would have normally - including Daxie, here. I thought you'd appreciate some recognition." She looked at Dax closely, then smiled. "Okay, here he comes... oh, and one more thing?" She smiled mischievously. "You don't have to burn the second letter until AFTER you read it. I don't think I mind, anymore." "... mmmmrrrrrrrgggghhhh..." Taps straightened up and tossed the unicorn a conspiratorial wink as Dax slowly roused from whatever magic had been used on him. He blinked rapidly, then looked at them both. "... did... um, did I miss something?"