I'm done with the changeling stuff for a while. It's not that I was getting bored or I felt bad pretending to be other ponies, it's just that... well, I'm sick of finding out how whack everypony around me is, and even those in a position of power! Whether it be Fluttershy's interest in filly fooling or Canterlot's questionable military, I had had enough.
That's why, to my pleasure, I went back to becoming animals. Now, one thing I enjoy about this otherwise horrifying experience I'm in is that I'm never going to be an animal again, let alone some crazy cool ones like a changeling or even just a falcon. If I'm forced into transforming into animals, I'm going to take full advantage over whatever form I get. And that's easy most of the time--I was an alligator, so my intention was to scare ponies. I was a changeling, so my intention was to, well, change.
But what happens when I am stuck with literally the most boring form imaginable? An animal that causes my prior infinite flow of ideas to dry up? What happens when I become...
A dog?
Nothing! Fucking nothing happens, that's what! What am I gonna do, go into town and be pet? Go play fetch with a pony? Piss off, there's nothing to do. I've never been a dog pony, anyways. How could I have been? I lived in Cloudsdale; nopony could really get any other pets than a selection of birds or an ant farm.
Besides, dogs are a hassle! They shit inside and need constant walks, unlike other pets that take care of both themselves and their business without an incessant need to be watched over. I don't know how AJ puts up with it! I should just ask her dog about the hell it must put Applejack through.
Actually, that could be fun; just going to see AJ's dog? Winona? That doesn't sound that bad. I already met Gummy, and he was a joy to talk to! I decide on travelling to Sweet Apple Acres as I leave the park I was laying in.
Truth be told, I don't know what kind of dog I am. I understand that I don't know all the breeds, but I just look like a mutt; an undefined mix of dogs. My fur is a tawny orange with black tipped ears, so I guess there's some German Shepherd in me? The universe couldn't just make me a normal dog, could it? Instead I'm a mix.
I reach the gate of Sweet Apple Acres after a brisk walk and pant heavily, simultaneously wondering why ponies don't pant. It's cooling off pretty well! I step inside and see a few things. First, there's Applejack, bucking apple trees a hoofball field's length away. Helping her is Big Mac, blonde hair damp with sweat. I don't see Winona anywhere, though I spot her dog house near the barn. Actually, what's my excuse to see her? Do dogs ever visit each other like ponies do. Maybe I can play myself as a lost dog, though I don't look as disheveled as a missing pet. Maybe I could just-
"Hey there!"
"Gah!" I back up in shock at the sound of a voice and I fall over with a THUMP! I look up to see Winona with a very happy expression and a wagging tail working overtime. I pick myself off the ground and look at her. "Uh, 'sup?" I weekly greet.
"Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" She yells, both very excitedly and considerably louder than she should being so close to my ears. She playfully crouches down. "My name's Winona, what's yours?"
Okay, name time. Well, I can't use my real name. Should I just make some name up? "I'm, uh, Cocoa," I reply at last, settling on the name for both my color and how dog-like it sounds.
"Cocoa!" she barks happily. "What can I do ya' for?"
"I came for you," I reply honestly, then mentally kick myself for the worst phrasing possible. I mean, I did come to see her, but dammit if I didn't put it in the wrongest way imaginable. Give me a trophy, I insist. Ladies and gentlecolts, I present the recipient of the 'Weirdest Answer to a Question Ever' award: Rainbow Dash as 'Cocoa' the dog.
Winona blinks and her tail halts waggling. Great, now she's freaked out. I can't really blame her. I mean, if a random pony came to my house and told me that he--
Wait, what's with that look on her face? It's a mix of confidence, interest, and... lust.
Oh shit, not again.
"Um," I back away, "I didn't mean--"
She puts a paw to my muzzle. "It's okay, sweetheart," she whispers. "Us girls have crazy urges at this time of year." She ducks her head. "I myself ain't had any relief in a while."
Okay, I need to get the fuck out of dodge. A mammal in heat is the strongest force in Equestria. My first thought is to run, but Winona acts quicker than my instincts and pins me to the ground. Without hesitation, she reels in for a kiss. Our muzzles meet, giving me a quick feeling of her soft whiskers on my fur. I struggle with all the strength I have, but Winona only becomes more and more passionate with each passing second, locking me in place. She pulls back and bites my ear, whispering into it, "just give in, sweetheart."
"No!" I furiously yell, fully comprehending how wrong this is for my friend's dog to tackle me for sex. How the hell is this is this possible, anyways? I'm like 10 pounds heavier than my assailant and I still can't fight her off. All I need is an opening; a chance to catch her off guard. Winona least some in for a second kiss and, without skipping a beat, I kick her in the stomach with my hind legs.
"Augh!" Winona yelps, tumbling backwards. She gets back up, bleeding. "You bitch! What was that for?"
"Just stay the hell away from me!" I shoot back, glaring at the dog who would've fully banged me had I not gotten her off of me. To my surprise, she spits to the side and smirks.
"So you're gonna play tough, are ya'?" She barks. I turn heel and run away as I hear my pursuer give chase. On my tail, Winona growls. "Ya'll better let me relieve myself!" What the fuck is wrong with Applejack's dog?!
Suddenly, only forty seconds into my chase, two shadows fly by as I look up to see two pegasi in blue garb. They land in front of me as I geind to a halt. A force tackles me from behind as I realize that Winona never slowed down. As soon as she eagerly tackles me, she's ripped away by the two pegasi.
"Easy, girl," the stallion says. Winona curses at them as I'm glad to be free of the sex-craved dog I now know is Winona's true nature. My illusion of safety vanishes as I'm grabbed by the scruff.
"What the hell?" I bark as my paws become alight from the ground. I peer at the one who picked me up to see the other half of the blue clothed duo. The stallion with Winona looks the angry pooch over.
"This one's got a collar, Maylene," he reports to the mare holding me. "Does that one have anything?"
Maylene shakes her head. "No, she's a stray, Ken," she says back. Ken sets Winona down as she flees to the farm, tail between legs. Ha! What a wimp. The stallion walks over to me and pets the top of my head with his hoof, though he does it with so much force that it feels more like a noogie.
"Sorry, little pup," Ken says to me. "We've gotta take you in." Take me in? What does he mean by that? Then, I feel a pit in my stomach as I make out the patch on his jacket. Sprawled in white letters are two words:
Animal Control.
This isn't good.
-----------oOo-----------
How humilating. Me, Rainbow Dash, future captain of the Wonderbolts, is behind bars. Well, technically its a grated cage and I'm a dog, but I still feel awful. I don't have control over when I wake up again and the day loops, so waiting for that loss of consciousness makes seconds crawl by slower than a crippled sloth.
I look around me. The room is lit by a dim light, rendering the room in a scarlet hue. There's a dozen different dogs in here; some are asleep, some are chatting quietly with the dogs beside them, and some are just laying down in boredom, like me. Another dog in this category is a border collie in the cage across from me. He looks older than the rest of the dogs and I doubt sitting still in a cell is really good for him.
Since I really have nothing else to do, I decide to make conversation with him. "Hey I'm Cocoa," I greet him, careful to use my canine name I gave myself earlier. He sits up and looks at me.
"How did a young and spry thing like you not outrun animal control?" He asks me. By his voice, I can only imagine that he's 60-something in dog years.
"They, uh, snuck up on me," I lamely say back, embarrased as well at the series of events. "What's your name?"
"The ponyfolk call me Spot," he says in a gruff voice, "but my mother named me Max."
"That's an awesome name," I say, trying to keep the conversation going. He peers at me.
"Er, thanks," he replies as I spot his tail slightly wave. A quick lull falls over us as I'm determined to talk to a dog through all of this, like I originally was trying to do in the damn first place.
"What are your, uh... interests?" I say, only realizing after I ask him that dogs don't tend to have interests. When he doesn't answer, I add, "Or, um, what do you like? For example, I like to-"
I go to say 'to fly', but I catch myself and instead just say, "I uh, I like... heights!"
He pricks his ears, as a rush of happiness washes over him. "Me too! I love heights! It's been my dream to live in the floating city I hear dogs talk about."
"You like heights?" I say back, forcing myself not to correct him and say Cloudsdale's name. "I didn't know dogs liked heights."
He blinks. "You're a dog, aren't you?"
Shit, I guess I did say I liked heights. "Oh, I meant that I didn't know other dogs liked it," I quickly lie. "I've never met a dog who wanted a pegasus as an owner. Er, besides myself."
He sighs. "I ain't like most dogs. It's true; most of my brothers wanted to go to some earth pony when they got older. Not me. All I ever wanted was to be able to watch the hillsides far below me, clouds moving by, while I can just relax and live out the rest of my days happy." He lies back down. "Too bad most ponies always go for the puppies."
I feel a wave of sadness flush over me. He means to say that no pony ever wanted him just because no pegasi ever got dogs? That's awful! If all he ever wanted was to watch the clouds go by from his owner's house, then, dammit, I can at least give that much to him.
My senses fade away, telling me its time to end today's adventure. Max, you'd better be here when I get out of this insane looping. I might not be a dog pony, but for him, I'm sure I can manage.