//------------------------------// // The Ticket Puncher // Story: Tale of the Face Puncher // by Magenta Gleam //------------------------------// The Ticket Puncher I awoke to a gentle prodding on my hip. As I wasn’t ready to wake up yet I let loose a powerful punch in the direction the prodding came from. I felt my fist hit something and then whatever it was flew back and I heard it hitting the wall. I smiled as I heard a young male voice call out in pain. With the annoyance taken care of I swiftly fell back to sleep. I woke again several hours later to the sound of harmonious singing echoing around the large room I was sleeping in. I heard a gasp before a voice called out. “Fluttershy, not you too.” The singing stopped and Fluttershy began to talk. “Oh, hello Twilight. I hope you don’t mind but we are all doing a little spring cleaning for you. Twilight answered in an annoyed tone. “It’s summer.” “Oh well better late than never right? It was Angels idea.” “You’re not just doing this for the ticket, are you?” “Ohh no. I’m doing this because you’re my very best friend.” “FUCK NO.” I cried, finally getting up from the comfort of the couch I had been sleeping on and opening my eyes. I walked up to Twilight and swiftly attached my fist to her stupid face. “Stay here and don’t do anything stupid.” I ordered her. “I’ll go fix this because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself.” I ran out of the tree and sprinted my way through the town, ignoring all the shocked looks of the ponies around me. A few minutes later I reached the train station and walked up to the ticket booth. The stallion behind the counter looked at me with a confused and fearful expression. “Give me a ticket to Canterlot now!” I shouted at him while punching the glass that stood between us, which promptly shattered into nothingness. The stallion whimpered before sliding out a slip of paper and hiding as well as he could in the open air booth he was standing in. I grabbed my ticket and walked over to the benches. I sat down and waited for the train. Ten minutes later a loud whistle broke me from my stupor. I looked around and spied a train approaching quickly in the distance. Within moments it was stopped before me and I stood before walking over to the train door and opening it with a quick punch that left the door dented but open. I pulled it shut behind me before walking up to the front of the carriage and punching open the door separating the passengers from the engine. A tall earth pony mare looked at me with shock. With a light punch I broke her from her stupor and she switched her expression to one of pain and fear. “I need to get to canterlot as fast as possible. Make that happen.” I ordered the fearful mare. Immediately she nodded and turned around, shovelling massive amounts of coal into the furnace with a shovel firmly grasped in her mouth. Satisfied that my order was being carried out I turned around and headed back into the passenger carriage. I sat down and let myself fall back into the land of sleep. Sometime later I woke again, this time to the sound of a voice speaking to me. “Ex-excuse me sir. Please wake up. We are in Canterlot now.” The voice said with a strong tone of fear. I opened my eyes and saw the engine mare I had punched earlier staring at me. Without another thought I launched myself off my seat and ran off the train. All the ponies at the station froze when they saw me but I paid them little attention as I ran off the station and in the direction of the gigantic castle that rose up nearby. Several times guard ponies tried to stop me as I ran to the castle but each time I taught them how to fly with a powerful swing of my fists, even the non pegasi. I sprinted as fast as I could through the town until I came to a large entrance guarded by several ponies of all tribes. “Halt!” They cried out to me. I launched myself forward and unleashed fist after fist into the ponies that dared bar my way. As I launched one after the other into the air or nearby walls I spoke. “Hello gentleman. I don’t suppose you know where I could find Princess Celestia, do you?” By the time I had finished asking my question only one pony stood before me, he was shaking in his armor as he stared at me with wide eyes. “I-I” He stammered. “I ca-can take you to her.” “Good, take me now.” I ordered the fearful pony. He immediately turned and ran with me following close behind. We passed through winding corridor after winding corridor until he stopped at a large double door. “She-she should still b-be in day court right n-now.” “Whatever.” I said as I punched the stallion in the face, lifting him off the ground and slamming him into and through the large doors as they opened from the force he hit them with. I calmly sauntered forwards into the large, ornate room before me while ignoring the annoyed shouts of ponies all around me. I walked up to the grand white marble throne at the end of the room and stared at the tall white pony that sat upon it. Before she had a chance to say something - it probably would have been stupid anyway- I slogged her across the face and yelled at her. ”Send Twilight five more tickets you fucking moron.” With my message delivered I walked off before any of the ponies could react. I sighed before speaking to no one in particular. “Well, I guess I should get back to the library.”