"So, uh... I wanted to thank you." Minuette rubbed the back of her head. "For, you know, deprogramming me and the girls after that thing with the changelings. I didn't know you could do that, honestly..."
Agent M said nothing, merely adjusting some equipment they were experimenting with.
"I mean... I know there are, like, tons of mental spells and all, and the hospitals are filled with them. So, I'm guessing it's totally possible for a licensed doctor to, you know... have figured all that out. In a week. And you just took a glance, and zapped us, poof done. So that's a week of being in a straightjacket you spared me." Minuette coughed. "That's... pretty impressive, you know?"
Click click click went the metal arm that Agent M was fiddling with.
"...I'm just saying, if there's a standard changeling method for mental magic, and you knew it, that wouldn't be wrong or anything, it would just suggest that... you might possibly, uh, be a changeling? Which I'm totally alright with," she reassured quickly, "because you've proven that you're not an enemy of Equestria, and maybe you were the one that warned us in the first place, so thanks for that too I guess?
Agent M focused a lens, peering through the microscope.
"So.... if you are a changeling... are you, like, a boy changeling, or a girl changeling? Or do changelings not have gender binary like that? Do you just have one gender and a scaling of, uh, male to femaleness.... or more than two genders? Are there any pronouns that I should learn? I mean, if it's all buzzy, I might get it wrong but I'll try to pronounce it right--"
"Agent Colgate, what is the defining trait of changelings?"
Minuette blinked. "...They... change?"
"Correct. I wear this disguise to hide my identity. If I were capable of shapeshifting, I would not need a disguise. Ergo I am incapable of shapeshifting. Therefore, I am not a changeling."
"Oh." The blue unicorn paused. "Do you mean, like, you're not culturally a changeling because you can't shapeshift or that you're actually a different species? Because I can see how not being able to shapeshift could wreck your life if you are biologically a changeling--"
"What are your observations on Twilight and her friends at this time?"
"Huh?" Minuette had to take a moment to readjust her thought processes. "Oh, let me check!" Screwing up her eyes, she let magic flow through her horn, eyes glowing white. "Applejack is raising a barn--"
"Reasonable."
"--Fluttershy is having a tea party picnic with her animals--"
"Not outside the norm."
"--Lyra and Sweetie Drops are laughing together--"
"Irrelevant, although that is favorable information."
"--Rainbow Dash is lounging by the pool--"
"Given her earlier work, I am unsurprised."
"--And Pinkie Pie--GANH!" Minuette winced. "Oh sweet Celestia! What was that?!"
Agent M turned from their work. "If she is engaged in private activities--"
"Oh, no, thank heavens, it wasn't anything like that." The blue unicorn rubbed her horn. "It's just... I got like a hundred pings back when I searched for Pinkie."
"She does have an abnormal quantum capability--"
"Yeah, but I only usually get, like, two or three pings?" Minuette shook her head. "This is, literally, a hundred or something. That's a lot of Pinkie, which... too many. Hold on, I'm going general for a moment."
Her eyes glowed again.
"...Okay, wow. Uh, Agent M? Is there some secret cloning machine in the Everfree Forest? Because literally dozens of Pinkies are pooring out of it."
The costumed saboteur sighed. "Not again..."
"Okay, I take it you know what's going on?"
"Yes. Unfortunately." Agent M backed off from the microscope, ruffling through their desk. "At some point, Twilight and her friends will try to round up all the Pinkies. When that happens, meet me on the edge of the Everfree."
"Wait, how do you know they'll try to round up all the--?"
"There's a book with a quick solution hidden in the library. Twilight Sparkle will probably find it and, after some deliberation, find a way to utilize the solution. You will need to inform me of her plan as soon as she enacts it. Until then, Ponyville will have to suffer through prolonged Pinkie progeny." Agent M gathered together a strange set of equipment and tied it together under their cape. "Good luck and good fortune--"
"You know, I could just go with you and keep an eye on Twilight with my spell," Minuette pointed out.
"...ah. Yes. Well."
"You were planning to hop across rooftops again, weren't you."
"...no." Agent M shook their head. "That would be ridiculous."
Minuette fixed them with a small smile.
"...although as I must maintain peak physical health at all times, it would be a decent workout."
"Mmmmhmm." Minuette didn't stop smiling.
"...Very well, we shall walk." The masked saboteur shrugged. "I doubt we'll be noticed among the crowd of Pinkie Pies."
"There you go then!" Minuette fell into step behind Agent M as they trotted out into one of Ponyville's alleyways. "So... what are we doing anyway?"
"The mirror pool that miss Pie most likely used is an impressive feat of magical engineering, capable of generating long-term constructs from any given template. While the constructs generally operate under incomplete matrices, they are capable of self-direction."
"A self-directed construct? I thought that was supposed to be impossible!" Minuette frowned. "They'd... they'd be like pets, or maybe children."
"Indeed. The creator of the mirror pool, or at least the most famous user, was... darkly inclined. He would use it to create an army, and if any of the soldiers proved... less than reliable, he would invert their power schema." Agent M sighed. "Unfortunately, his diary is the book that Twilight will likely find."
"Invert the power schema... that would send them back to the mirror pool... that would kill them." Minuette's eyes widened. "Oh sweet Celestia, that's... monstrous!"
"Which is why we are taking this equipment. It will capture the matrix of any and all constructs who are translating to the mirror pool and construct a fuller, more complete matrix. After that, all that is needed will be enough power to run the completed construct... who will have to be relocated," Agent M admitted. "At least this way, we prevent Twilight from conducting murder."
Minuette frowned. "Shouldn't we... tell her?"
"...No." Agent M shook their head. "At the moment, she is still... recovering from the wedding, and Sombra's influence. It's best to leave her assuming she's still morally upright."
"Right."
The two walked on, the sound of the Pinkies around them drowning out all other noise.
"So... are you a self-directed construct? Cause, you know, I'd have no problem with that... Oh, are you a construct from a changeling that found the mirror pool? I mean, that's okay too!"
"Agent Colgate, please drop the matter."