//------------------------------// // You walk out, they drag you back in... // Story: Retroactive Ethical Tangent Conversion/Obliteration Nationals // by Masterweaver //------------------------------// Barnyard Bargains was a bustling business before sunset, but betwixt the moonlit hours barely any being braved the bleak, dark shelves by their own choice, befitting the byzantine build of the bulwark. So, while her hooves broke the silence of the night, Sweetie Drops couldn't help but wonder why she had been called to this place. Obviously it was a clandestine meeting. That much was clear from the coded missive she had received. Less obviously, though, was the purpose behind the meeting--she was retired, honorably so, and the only ponies who could have sent her that message would have to know that. Very few things would convince her to rejoin the corps. She shuddered at the memory of the bugbear... A flicker of light caught her eye, drawing her attention to the unicorn turning around a shelf. "...Minuette?" "Sweetie Drops? OH MY GOOOOOOSH!" The blue mare rushed forward and pulled her into a vice-grip hug. "IT'S BEEN AGES! You didn't have to arrange a secret get together just to chat, you could have just dropped by my place! How are things with Lyra? Have you asked her out yet? I heard you two are LIVING together now, that must be awesome!" "I didn't arrange this!" Drops managed to squeak out. "I got a message telling me to come here--" "What, really? Me too!" Minuette gasped, dropping Drops (who took the time to refuel her lungs). "Oh my gosh. What if we're here for a top secret mission, like the old days? Oh my gosh, can you picture it? You and me, fighting monsters again! I AM SO EXCITED!" "I seriously hope not," the earth pony managed to spit out. "Ugh. I've put those days behind me, and if Celestia thinks I'm going to just go waltzing back into danger--" "Agent Bonbon. Agent Colgate." The two mares sprung into fighting positions... only relaxing when the speaker descended into the light of Minuette's horn glow. The new member was swathed in a violet jumpsuit, strips of midnight fabric around their ankles, face enveloped in a matching, skin-tight mask, and a cape billowing from their shoulders. Even without the symbol on their clasp, the swished back fedora made the newcomer's identity all too clear. "Agent M," Minuette breathed. Sweetie Drops glowered. "Been a while." "Yes." The masked individual nodded. "It has." Minuette gave Sweetie Drops an astonished look. "Wait, you've met Agent M?" "The Trottingham incident." The mare didn't take her eyes off the other agent. "I was there." "...I regret Trottingham as much as you--" "Like hay you do!" Drops shouted. "Sweetie Drops, what are you doing?!" Minuette gestured at their jumpsuited companion. "This is Agent M! That means that whatever we're here for must be super important!" "I don't care if Celestia sent her right-hoof saboteur, I am retired and I'm not packing up to head on another mission!" "You won't have to," Agent M assured her. "In fact, your current residence is exactly why you were selected." "A mission in Ponyville?" Minuette mused. "Well, it is close to the Everfree, I guess it makes sense--" "Let me make this absolutely clear," Sweetie Drops hissed. "I am done. I am through. I have a life, and I will not be pulled back into the world of shadows!" "Not even to prevent a code Eclipse scenario?" The words snapped through Sweetie Drops' anger, reaching suppressed instincts and pulling them to the fore. Her face went from growling to cool sternness, her ears popped up and inclined forward, her stance slid back into a cool readiness. "Explain," demanded Agent Bonbon. Agent M pulled back their cape, revealing a hidden pouch, and produced a photograph. "What do you know about this mare?" "Oooo, that's Twilight Sparkle," Minuette gushed. "Me and Lyra were friends with her--well, I say 'friends', she always had her snout stuck in a book, and really we were just the ones next to her back when we first joined Celestia's school for gifted unicorns. Now Moondancer, she had this whole thing with Twilight--I dunno if it was a crush or anything, but they would always read books together, style their manes the same way, never talked to anyone unless the other was there... Poor filly was devastated when Twilight was sent to Ponyville. Oh, she's also Celestia's personal student, an educated unicorn with a 9.5 power rating, and just stopped eternal night by curing Celestia's sister of her insanity." She chuckled awkwardly. "I'm guessing that's the relevant part?" "...yes." Agent M nodded. "While the details have not been revealed entirely to the public, in order to cure princess Luna Twilight had to align herself with an artifact known as the Element of Magic." "Sounds pretty powerful," Agent Bonbon mused. "Indeed. It has been separated from Twilight. However..." Agent M trailed off, the implications clear. "...Twilight would never go against Celestia!" Minuette protested. "She practically worships the mare!" "Perhaps. But Twilight Sparkle was not the first unicorn Celestia attempted to groom for element alignment. I'm not authorized to reveal the details, but... suffice it to say, the princess feels that Twilight requires moral guidance at this juncture." Agent Bonbon rose an eyebrow. "Moral guidance." "The Element of Magic is only a part of a greater set," Agent M explained. "To our knowledge, it cannot be used on its own, however... that may not be the case. And while Twilight would not want to disappoint Celestia, her logical mindset might lead her to experiment or encourage others to act 'for the greater good.'" Bonbon shuddered, memories resurfacing. "I see." "Celestia has arranged for Twilight to reside in Ponyville while she learns about friendship, which will hopefully ground her enough to prevent any... ethical lapses. That said, there is a need for some oversight." Agent M nodded to the other two. "Which is where we come in." "Wait..." Minuette frowned. "Are you saying it's up to us to keep Twilight from learning the wrong lessons?" "Indeed. Or at the very least, clean up her mess when necessary." Bonbon blinked. Then Sweetie Drops rolled her eyes. "Oh come on! All this secrecy just, just to play secret moral guardian for a spoiled rich filly?" "Okay, wow." Minuette glared at her. "First of all, I'm a spoiled rich filly. Secondly, Twilight is not spoiled." "Your task is simple," Agent M interjected. "Agent Bonbon, you will keep an eye on Twilight Sparkle--pass on messages of potential moral quandaries or dubious situations. Agent Colgate, you will use your time related skills when necessary to alter situations or arrange for us to be there. I will be the operations agent, affecting things from the shadows." "Sounds pretty standard," Minuette commented. "Okay, I'm in!" "Who's in charge?" Agent Bonbon asked suspiciously. "You are in charge of assigning missions. Minuette and I are in charge of completing them." "...fine." Bonbon sighed. "Since apparently we're not going to take no for an answer, fine." "Alright!" Minuette pumped her hoof. "Team Moral Guardian is a go! Actually, I don't like that name, can we get a new one?" "The princess has assigned this operation the title of Retroactive Ethical Tangent Conversion/Obliteration Nationals," Agent M replied. "That's... a long name." Sweetie Drops mouthed the words for a second or two, before facehoofing. "She didn't." "Did what?" She turned to the blue mare. "Minuette... we're R.E.T.C.O.N." "Oh." Minuette blinked. "Oooooh! That's actually pretty funny!" "Celestia has this weird obsession with acronyms." Sweetie Drops sighed, turning back. "Whatever. Agent M, when should we--?" Agent M was gone. "...of course. Always like that." Sweetie Drops shrugged. "Well, whatever. Let's get out of here, Minuette. I have a bed to get to." "Ooooooh. Does it have a green unicorn in it?" "One day, you're going to get drunk and I'll finally have something to hold over you..."