//------------------------------// // Chapter Nineteen - From Bad To Worse // Story: Moving On // by Manitive //------------------------------// It was nearing sunset when I, Rainbow and the Crusaders decided to call it a day. Both Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went home earlier, so that only left me, Scootaloo and Rainbow. We were currently on our way to my home. "Rainbow, if they ever ask me to go crusading with them again, and I say yes, please, for the love of god, punch me in the face." I said grumpily to my multi-colored companion, who was hovering alongside me with a happy, gleeful smile on her face. "I swear it would be less humiliating than this." I motioned at my face with my right hand. "C'mon dad, it's not that bad." Scootaloo galloped up in front of me and turned herself around, walking backwards while forcing a smile up at me. "You look really... um, how would Rarity say? Yeah, that's it! Magnificent! " She exclaimed. I stopped, deadpanned and walked around her. Now, you may ask yourself what those three, seemingly innocent little fillies could've done to my beautiful face that made me think like that. Well, after I shot their two initial ideas on how to get their Cutie Marks down because they either involved me getting cut open or rocketed into space (yeah, you heard right), I was able to convince them to think of something that was less... harmful. Cutie Mark Crusader Make-Up Artists. I can't even put into words how badly they fucked up, I really can't. The best way to describe how I looked would be a mixture between a zombie, a clown and Michael Jackson. One thing was sure: They'll never, ever touch my face with any makeup stuff again. Never. "Yeah *giggle* Will *giggle*, you look...you look...MAGNIFICIENT!" Rainbow broke out into loud, raspy laughter again, rolling around in the air, once again ignoring the laws of physics. "Oh, Ha-ha." I said unamusedly, turning my head to look at her and giving her a glare, but that only made her raspy laughter grow louder. I groaned, mumbling things under my breath that, if coherent, wouldn't have been really nice before looking forward again to not make this whole situation any worse by tripping over someone, or something. "OH SH-!" Have I ever told you guys that I'm an unlucky person? One moment I was walking, silently mumbling these unnice things about Rainbow, and the very next I feel something colliding hard with my lower legs and get a face full of dirt. I lay on the ground, sputtering and coughing, trying to get all that Equestrian dirt out of my mouth, but only succeeding to a degree. Using both of my hands I slowly pushed myself up to my feet, cursing everything under my breath. Rainbow's laughter erupted again from above me, even louder than before (it was actually more of a screaming than actual laughing), as did the laughter I discerned as that of a certain orange filly, and, unbeknownst to me, the giggles of a fifth pony. I scrambled to my feet, immediately looking around for the thing I so gracefully tripped over in order to destroy it with my bare hands, but upon seeing over what exactly I tripped over, I quickly disregarded that thought. There, maybe two or three meters (I flew quite a bit, apparently) in front of me stood a light grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane and tail, one of her hooves stifling her cute giggles, but what really caught my eye were her yellow eyes: one was somewhat directed at me, while the other one was busy looking up in the sky. I shook my head. I knew out of experience how bad getting stared at feels, and at least she was kind enough to not run away in fear upon seeing me, so the least I could've done was to show her some respect. "I'm sorry! Did you get hurt?" I asked with concern in my voice, taking a careful step forward. She lifted her hoof away from her mouth, stopping her giggling before answering me. "No, I'm fine! And you, Mr...um..." "Yeah, I'm good...kinda." I said with a small frown, running a hand through my hair to get some of that dirt out of it. I then smiled at her. "And I'm William, but I guess you can call me Will." Finally, Rainbow and Scootaloo were finished with laughing their asses off. "I'm Derpy Hooves, but Derpy is okay too!" She said with a big smile, rivaling that of Pinkie Pie. "And sorry Mr. Will. It was all my fault... It's just really hard to see sometimes." She explained, her smile vanishing and being replaced by a downcast expression, ears flattening against her skull. "Please don't hate me." "Hey now,-". I started, kneeling myself down slowly, still not wanting to frighten her by doing anything too sudden. "-why should I hate you? It was an accident, and it's not like it's only your fault that that happened. I'm at fault too. I should've been watching where I was going." She looked up slowly, an unsure expression on her face. "So you are not mad at me?" I shook my head. "No, I'm not, I swear." I assured her with a gentle smile. She returned my smile with an adorable looking one of her own, those two yellow eyes of hers momentarily looking into the same direction before going back into their normal, goofy state. To my complete surprise she leaped forwards and tackled me into a hug, her two forelegs wrapping themselves around my chest. I awkwardly returned the hug, completely caught off-guard by the sudden change in demeanor. "Oh thank you Mr. Will!" "It's no problem, really." I said, chuckling awkwardly. We stood there for what had to be at least a minute in complete awkward silence before the fittingly called Derpy finally decided to make a move. "Melons! I have to go! Bye Mr. Will!" With that, she was gone, zipping up into the air and away from us in a yellow blur. '...What the actual fuck?' I stood up with a groan, shaking my head slowly. "I really don't know what it is with me and awkwardness." "Yeah, it's almost like you attract all these totally uncool situations." Rainbow said, shuddering visibly after the sentence left her mouth. She shook her head, her face of disgust vanishing into a smile. "Anyways we really need to get that makeup out of your face." "And the dirt." Scootaloo added, stifling a small giggle with one of her hooves. "Yeah, alright." I said, lifting a hand up to my face to rub some of that dirt out of it, shrugging once. * * * * I entered the shower and closed the curtains behind me, my body getting assaulted by the continuous flow of warm water right when I was about to search for the little knob to turn it on. At first, I was shocked, but as the first drops of water, that were at just the right temperature, started hitting my body, I released a long sigh of satisfaction. It felt really fucking good to just relax and forget about everything I should've been worried about. My worries about that whole adoption thing, about how I was going to continue my life in a world where I was the only one of my species, got drown out completely by the warm water that was cascading down my body. I closed my eyes and stepped directly under the spray of water. Lifting both of my hands up to my face, I started the task of washing all of that makeup out of my face, but only succeeded in smearing the oily substance around. So I opted to just stand there and let the water do its job. Not counting the soothing sound of each little droplet of water hitting the ceramic floor, it was silent, and for a moment I really felt like everything was going to be okay. That I will work out things with Scootaloo, that everything will work out in the end. But then I started thinking again. Problems don't solve themselves, they never did. I couldn't just pretend that everything will work out in the end. I couldn't just pretend that someone else was going to fix my problems for me when there was no one that could fix them. I had to do something, especially about the situation with Scootaloo. I had to talk to her. ...But what exactly should I have told her? That was the question I was asking myself, that was nagging me since Celestia told me that I wasn't able to adopt her right away. I exhaled deeply, feeling helpless and conflicted at the same time. I knew that, regardless of what I was going to tell her, there was no positive outcome. She would've been devasted, sad, angry... Angry at me for not telling her sooner or/and shattering her hopes? Angry at Celestia for not doing anything, even though she couldn't? No, it wasn't Celestia, she would've been angry at me - my guts told me that, as did the only logical part of my brain that accepted the truth. The other part still hoped dearly that everything would work out in the end, that she wouldn't hate me. I tried to shake my head clear of these thoughts, but they stayed, no matter how hard I tried. I really had to talk to her, or else they would pester me until she found out herself, which, quite frankly, couldn't have taken that much longer. I had to talk to her as soon as possible, as long as I had the chance to not make things worse. So, quickly finishing up the process of cleaning my body, I exited the shower, dried my body off with a towel I grabbed from the cabinet above the sink and put on the clothes from before; I really hated myself for not packing enough clothes before traveling to Equestria. I made a mental note to look around town to see if I could find someone who was willing to make some for me, before making myself on the way to the living room. * * * * "How do I look now?" I asked aloud as I entered the living room, immediately drawing the attention of its two inhabitants. Seeing that they gave me their undivided attention, I made a little show by spinning around once before fluttering my manly eyelashes at Rainbow and Scootaloo. Scootaloo giggled cutely at my silliness, "Eh, you looked funnier before." Rainbow said with a shrug, that small grin I came to know her for tugging at the corner of her lips. She was, again, teasing me, but I wasn't having any of that. I casually walked over to them, letting myself fall into the couch beside them. "Scoots, maybe you girls didn't get your Cutie Marks because I'm a human, you know? Maybe you need to try out that whole makeup stuff with someone like you..." I made a loud 'hmm' sound, lifting one of my hands up to my chin to scratch it in thought. "But who...?" An evil smirk appeared on my face as my eyes slowly drifted to Rainbow, who was already fidgeting nervously with both of her forehooves. She knew she was fucked. "Ah, I know! Why don't you take Rainbow?" I asked, turning my head to look at the prismatic mare in question. "I'm sure she'd be glad to help you girls!" It vanished as soon as it appeared, but god, that glorious glorious look of absolute horror that crossed her face. "I think...Yeah, maybe that's it!" Scootaloo exclaimed, her eyes lightening up, a smile appearing on her face. That smile instantly vanished as she looked to her side, pouting up at Rainbow. "Can you pwease help us? Just this once?" "I don't think tha-" "Pweaaaase." "But I don't wan-" "Pweeeeeeeeeease." "Can't you find someone el-" "Pweasepweasepweasepwease!" Rainbow sighed in defeat, her shoulders slumping down. "Ugh...Fine." I did a mental fist pump, grinning widely as I saw Rainbow admitting defeat. No one could withstand the power of pouting, not even the master herself, the (not so) almighty Rainbow Dash. 'Now, that out of the way...' My grin disappeared at an instant. "Hey Scoots, we need to talk about something..." I said, my tone going from playful to serious all of a sudden. My body went uncomfortably tense. "Uh, do I have to go, or...?" Rainbow asked unsurely, pointing a hoof behind her at the door. "You can stay. I think you need to hear that too, as her sister." Rainbow answered with a short nod, hopping up to onto the couch. Scootaloo must have realized how serious everything has gotten, because as I looked down to her again, I saw that the smile from before disappeared. I still hoped that she wasn't going to be mad at me, that she maybe even thought that it wasn't that big of a deal. "What's up?" She asked, hopping up onto my lap in one swift move and sitting herself down on it, tail flicking idly behind her. I didn't know how to start. I had no idea what to say to her first, so I said what was the first thing that came to my mind. "I'm not from this world, do you know what that means?" 'Ugh, c'mon...' "I dunno... That you're an alien?" She answered unsurely, looking up at me with big, answer seeking eyes, not seeing where I was going with this yet. I rolled my eyes briefly, but not short enough for her not to notice it. She jabbed me in the stomach. "Just tell me what's up!" Even though I may have looked completely calm to her and Rainbow, I was panicking inwardly. I had no idea how I should continue. She wanted to tell me what was going on, so why was it so hard to just be blunt about it? It wasn't like me beating around the bush would've made anything better. I took a deep breath, exhaling loudly before speaking up again. "I had a talk with Celestia yesterday." I paused. "Aaand?" Scootaloo asked, cocking her head to the side. "Well...she told me that...-" I clicked my tongue, not really liking the way this was going. "-Well, that I can't...you know..." "Dad, c'mon, it can't be that bad." She said, groaning in annoyance. I closed my eyes. It was bad, but she couldn't have known that. "But it is." I whispered bitterly, almost inaudible, all those emotions I drowned out earlier in the shower resurfacing. Fear, despair, sadness, anger... "I can't adopt you." I said gently, almost in a whisper, opening my eyes reluctantly. "I'm not allowed to." I was staring at my hands, her body, anything that wasn't her face, but that didn't stop my brain from painting mental images of her expression. What my brain showed me wasn't good at all; it was her face, but instead of that happy smile that I adored, that made my heart warm up at an instant, her expression was that of someone who was completely broken on the inside. Sad, lost... so many things and none of them were even remotely positive. At first, everything was dead silent, the only sounds being both mine and Scootaloo's heavy, almost panicked breathing. Rainbow was totally silent, but I knew why she was silent. She was angry at me. She had to be. I understood why she was angry at me. It was my fault, after all. Not only did I get Scootaloo's hopes high for nothing, I also shattered them. I, who called himself her father, hurt her in one of the worst possible ways. Emotionally. Physical pain passes with time, but emotional pain doesn't really pass; it's something you have to carry with you for your whole life. Even if you think you drowned out a particularly bad memory, it always hides in the deepest parts of your mind, ready to show itself as soon as you're feeling down again. And when they do show up again they make things way worse than they already were. A silent, almost inaudible sniff made me remember one particular thing Scootaloo told me: her parents abandoned her when she was born because there was a possibility that she'd never be able to fly, and now I had to abandon her because the law said so. She was feeling far from good at that moment. I wanted to hug her, squeeze her and never let her go, to make her feel loved and comfort her, but all I did was continue sitting there, unmoving and completely silent - I was too frightened to do anything. Frightened that she wouldn't want me to hug her. Frightened that she would hate me and openly show that. So I slowly looked up, to look right into her beautiful, big purple eyes and silently beg her for forgiveness, but all she did was shake her head with her eyes shut closely, a lone tear running down her cheek. She wasn't crying when she jumped down from my lap and slowly walked away from both me and Rainbow. She didn't say anything when Rainbow flew in front of her, stopping her just short of exiting the house, and asked her to stay, to let me explain things. She just walked around her and vanished through the door, into the night, all the while being completely silent.