I would be lying if I told you that I expected any of this. It would seem easy to think that living in Ponyville and having to return to a life that I can barely recall living in the first place would cause nothing to surprise me anymore. If anything it only made me more wary of the unexpected.
I can't say that any amount of past memories that the old Twilight experienced would have lessened the blow of avoiding the only ponies I have ever considered my family. The only ones that ever bothered to help when I awoke on that hospital bed.
I didn't expect to be standing in my shower for hours in an attempt to escape the ever present metallic iron laced scent of blood that clung to my skin. I didn't expect to be desperately holding what was left of my sanity together and trying to understand what happened to me. Or even more pressing, why did the events leading up to the coma have a complete blackout order on it.
Shouldn't I get to know what happened if it involves me?
Most of all, I definitely didn't expect to be holding back the monster that I knew was there; lurking within the shadows of my mind. The one desperately clawing at its' mental chains, waiting for the chance to come out and play.
When I closed my eyes, I could see its teeth snapping in the dark. And hear resounding laughter that echoed through the very edges of my fragile mind. A hollow mocking laugh that led me to do things I never thought I would find myself doing. Things I couldn't tell anyone. Not even the Princesses.
The wound on my right forehoof painfully throbbed as I walked through the long empty hallways of the Equestrian Mental Institution. What was going on with me? I mean, the pain shouldn't be this much, should it? Princess Celestia had had one of her personal doctors examine me when I was first discharged. And he had said it was healing fine. Even Fluttershy herself had sewn and bandaged said wound yesterday before I met with Applejack.
But what had started out as a dull ache when I had awoken this morning had slowly evolved into a full-fledged inferno throughout the course of a matter of hours. Not to mention I felt plain awful to begin with. The latter being the feeling before you actually walk into the principal's office and the restless nights to come after said meeting.
Step. Step. Wince. Step. Step. Wince. Step. Step. Wince.
This pattern was getting real old real fast. But it wasn't all THAT bad. At least, that's what I told everyone. But being herself, Fluttershy had to have apologized to me at least a few thousand times after the coma had lifted, even though to my knowledge she had nil to do with my current state of being. Eventually I had enough of the repeated; 'I'm so sorry Twilight! I wish there was something I could do!'. That just to get her to calm down and stop freaking out every time I fell on my face. I flashed one of the best smiles I could manage and told her and everyone else in the room I had been in worse situations than Rainbow Dash described in her stories.
Fluttershy, however, didn't look the least bit convinced. But to her credit, that was probably due to the blood dripping down my hoof to form a puddle on the ground.
In all honesty, the wound hurt almost as bad as seeing the disappointment in everyone's eyes as I had to relearn how to do basic independent actions. Actions that fillies and colts could do by themselves.
Despite myself, I sighed as I stopped outside the door of my new doctor.
Help me. Help me. Help me.