A Bitter Sweet Surprise

by Ron Jeremy Pony

Waiting...

Waiting is a virtue. That’s something that you’ve heard all of your life. The fact that you’ve got friends there waiting with you, Lemon Zest, Sunny Flare, Indigo Zapp, and even Gilda… Which you’re still scratching your head over when exactly it was that Gilda became such a good friend of Sour’s, and yours by extension.

Still, at this moment waiting isn’t so much a virtue as it is a job that should be done by a professional. Sour had said that you need confidence, you need to man up. And right now that confidence you’ve been working on is getting its first real workout with your parents. Your Dad has no less than six presents that is completely going to piss Sour off. A Chef Gustave Le Grand’s little Chef’s easy bake oven, Fleur De Lis’ little Miss Runway kit, and Fashions by Coco action fashion doll all sit beside your father along with other stereotypical toys that would normally be fine, if your daughter was old enough to want to play with them.

Instead you know that Sour is going say that your father is attempting to shove his perceived gender role right down your daughter’s throat, and she’s not going to let that happen.

“Son, I just don’t understand why you don’t want these cute little dresses!” your Mother cries, “They’re all straight from the happy homemaker’s catalogue.”

“Mom, it’s not that… look, we’ve been getting clothes ready for her for a while, we could use diapers, formula, that kind of…” you begin before she looks at you in shock.

“She’s not going to breastfeed that baby?!!!”

“Now Dear, perhaps that’s for the best.”

The amount of facepalming that happens is beyond all understanding. You look at your father, and you know that you’ve got to be glaring at him, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Son, look, she’s a very sweet girl, but I know she has her little personality quirks that tend to make her… Unique. Since she’s taking medication for those… issues, it just might be a better idea if she doesn’t breast feed our granddaughter.”

Oh, he just did not go there. You go from a passive glare straight to Mistress Mare-velous glaring at him.

“We’ve checked and nothing she’s taking is going to hurt Bitter Honey, the formula is for when Sour goes back to work and isn’t able to pump before hand, and I can’t…” your angry response is stopped by a hand on your shoulder.

You turn around to see First Person there. Beside him is his boyfriend, Blueblood. You’ve never exactly seen eye to eye with your brother, but after he came out, well things changed. For one he began treating you like a real human being, and since he moved in with Blueblood the two of you had been talking more.

“Dad, chill, seriously.”

“What are you doing here?” your Mother’s icy voice askes.

“I’m here to support my little bro,” he hands you a card, “We weren’t sure what you needed so we got you a gift card for Babies R’ Us. They’ve got like everything anyway.”

Your Parents take the hint to leave you alone, seemingly upset that their formerly favorite child is here. You can see your mother actively attempting to see if anyone they know might be coming. Of course it makes you feel bad for First, but you hear him chuckle.

“Sorry that it got put on you little bro.”

“Thanks, it’s okay, so how’s everything going?”

Blueblood grins, “Swimmingly! Can I tell him, please?!”

Your brother nods, and Blueblood’s eyes shimmer, “We’re getting married! Auntie Celestia has a friend in Las Pegasus that is going to oversee the entire thing. Oh there’s just so much to do! We’ve got to get a band, and of course the catering, and Oh, I’m just so excited!”

“Wow, good for the both of you!”

“Oh God, First, honey, please!” your Mother shouts.

“Ma’am, you’re going to need to settle down, or you will be asked to leave,” a Security guard says.

“Settle down?! My son, my son is a pillow biting…” She doesn’t even finish before he reaches for a walkie talkie.

“What are are you doing?” your father asks.

“That’s hate speech, and hospital protocol is to remove anyone that seems capable of violence from the property. So Ma’am, you can step off now, or I can taze you and have you hauled off.”

To her credit your mother stands, gives you a hug, looks at your brother and shakes her head before heading out. Your father follows her, looks back at you and gives a sad wave goodbye. You’re not going to cut them from your life, or from Bitter Honey’s life, but you aren’t leaving them alone with her either.

You look toward the door, and you see Indigo Zapp sticking her head in and saying something. She motions for you to come over, and you give First a hug before heading that way. Your father-in-law and mother-in-law give you hug before you walk in and see the most beautiful sight in the world. There holding your daughter is Sour, and at this moment, everything is perfect.