//------------------------------// // Longing // Story: Resplendence Revoked // by NaiadSagaIotaOar //------------------------------// “Adagio?” No response. Sonata knocked again. “Adagio?” No response. She rattled the doorknob, but the door refused to budge. “Adagio? Are you in there?” She put her ear to the door, listening for any sign of occupancy. When she heard nothing, whether because the door was too thick or there were no sounds to be heard, she knocked again. “Adagio? Are you there?” When no response came and she was greeted only by a silent wall of unyielding wood, she lowered her head and sighed, closing her eyes. “Please,” she murmured, reaching out and putting her hand on the door. “Come back.” She paused before opening her eyes and looking at the door hopefully as if her unseen gesture would somehow have changed anything. All she saw was her own hand pressed against the wood. "Adagio? Are you alright in there?" She ran her fingers down the door, nails dragging gently against the vexing wood. "If- if you don't want to talk..." She winced, shedding a few more tears. "That's fine. But... I want to see you. Just tell me that you're alright. That's all I want." When her plea inevitably went unheard, something inside of her snapped. She wondered if Adagio had ever been there, or if she had just been knocking on an empty room and fooling herself into thinking that someone was still inside. Her breaths became quick and heavy and she lifted her hand to knock again, more forcefully. A moment later she felt a hand gripping her wrist and heard a familiar voice, albeit with a hint more rasp than usual. “Take a break, Sonata.” “I don’t want to.” Sonata shook her head and stared at the door. “I want to be there when she comes out.” “She’ll still be here when you come back.” Aria took Sonata’s hand off the door and glared at her. “But this? This is pointless. Just another stupid idea that won't solve anything.” “What if she never comes back out?” Sonata looked at Aria, eyes wide and pleading. “I don’t want her to leave us.” “Then she won’t. Give her some time and she’ll come around, but pestering her like this won’t do any good.” Before Sonata could respond, Aria wrapped her arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. Sonata had been hugged before, by both of her sisters. Adagio, when she cared to, gave soft, gentle hugs that could make Sonata feel comfortable and warm, loved and cherished. Aria did not. Her embrace was not soft, not like Adagio’s. Rather, it felt like being wrapped in a wall of stone. In Aria’s arms, Sonata felt, above all else, safe, and that brought with it a little bit of comfort. All too eager to reciprocate, Sonata rested her head on Aria’s shoulder and hugged her back. “Why won't she talk to us? I just want her to come back,” she said in between sobs. “I know. So do I.” Aria carefully stroked Sonata’s hair, a familiar gesture of affection that did wonders to calm her. "Then why won't you do something?" Sonata looked up at Aria with pleading eyes. "Where've you been?" "I've been thinking." Aria paused, hesitating as if debating whether or not to speak but finally settling on shaking her head. "It's not important. Not right now. We can all talk about it when Adagio comes out." "Tha's what you always say," Sonata protested. "Why are you even here if you're not gonna tell me about it?" "What, and leave you banging on that door 'till your knuckles are bleeding?" Aria snorted and pulled back, flicking her head towards the stairs. "C'mon. Let's go." “Go where?” Aria shrugged. “Dunno. Ice cream sound good to you?” Sonata stared back at the door, gazing longingly past the wood at the person she hoped was somewhere behind it, alive and well. She wiped the tears from her eyes and reluctantly nodded. At Aria's coaxing, she moved towards the stairs. “Yeah. I’d like that.” Inside a bottle of tinted glass, liquid sloshed. Sprawled out on her bed, isolated in her room, cut off from the rest of the world, and wearing an extremely comfortable nightgown, Adagio lifted a bottle to her lips and tilted it back. Crimson fluid flowed down her throat once again, as it had so frequently in recent days. Only a mouthful, and nothing more. Adagio eyed the bottle of wine, licking her lips and then grimacing with disdain. She gave her bottle a little jostle before setting it down on her nightstand where it joined two empty companions. And then she went still, listening intently to the sounds coming from outside her door. She heard that incessant knocking finally slow and then come to a halt. She heard Sonata calling her name over and over and over again. The sound that came next was faint, but in the silence of her isolation, the sound of sniffling and sobbing couldn't have been more obvious. Just from the sounds, she knew exactly what awaited her outside her door. She knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Sonata was out there and that she was crying. Of course Sonata was crying. The worst days of their lives and all she could do was cry, cry and plead for someone else to take care of her. Stupid. Worthless. Just like Aria. Even before, when their entire futures were at stake, those two idiots had done nothing that they were not told to do. But could she really fault them for that? In her eyes, they would never have been able to pull off something like what they had attempted. Not by themselves. Maybe what they had done had been their best chance of victory. Letting her do all the work had simply been the most sensible option. And if that was the case, then who carried the most blame for their failure? Because that's what they did, wasn't it? They failed. Just like before, so many years ago. I failed them. All these years I was telling them we'd be strong again and I couldn't do it. Now we're even worse off than we were before. That thought, that singular, maddening thought permeated her mind and had resolutely kept her inside her room all that time. She knew exactly what she would see if she were to venture outside, but thoughts of what was to come afterwards filled her with dread. For the moment, Sonata clung to her, pleading for instruction, but what would she do when she realized that the one whom she had relied on so many times before had nothing to say? What would Aria think when she admitted that she hadn't been strong enough? A part of her wanted to go and fling the door open, but just the thought of seeing those that she wronged so severely made her tremble. Every time she thought about leaving, she imagined a new form of punishment that they might inflict on her. Maybe they would settle for simply beating her, or maybe they would disown her entirely, cast her out and demand that she never return. And maybe, she thought, they would be right in doing so. Maybe they would be better off without her. But what would she do, if she were to leave? She couldn't sing, not anymore. The wealth they had in reserve would hold out for a little while if her sisters let her keep some of it, but whatever she could bring with her would be cripplingly finite at best. Without her voice, she'd have to find some other way to sustain herself, and that would perhaps be the worst part of her fate. She hadn't realized it at first, so lost in her thoughts, but the knocking had stopped completely. Merciful silence graced her once again. She forced herself to stand upright, breathing deeply and relaxing her shoulders. She thought of going outside for a little while just to stretch her legs, but then she considered that the sudden silence could have been a ploy to lure her out. Aria could be cunning like that, when she put her mind to it. Actually, even Sonata could certainly come up with such a simple scheme, given enough time. Best to stay inside, then, but she would go mad if she sat in bed and stared at a wall the whole day. With a forlorn sigh, she crept over to one corner of her room, where there stood a small, squat minifridge, carefully concealed under a lilac blanket so as not to infuriate her with its scandalously lackluster boxiness. Reaching inside, she took out a carton of strawberries and popped one into her mouth, wrapping her lips around it and relishing the sweetness. While her hands lazily fed herself, her eyes drifted over the other contents of her room, searching for something to distract herself. Eventually, her eyes settled on a picture on her wall. She walked over to take a closer look. It was a picture of her. Not as she was, but as she had been, once in the distant past. She saw herself in all her former glory, gamboling through the ocean with a song on her lips and a pod of dolphins in her wake. The picture took her back to times long past before she even knew that ponies walked on land and the ocean was the only world she knew. There had been a time when she spent her days swimming through the waves, singing her heart out and reveling in the attention it brought. She could sing for hours, watching with delight as all manner of sea creatures flocked to her side. Dolphins had always been her favorite, so sleek and beautiful and playful. She would frolic with them all day long, leaping through the waves in energetic races and then diving and twirling beneath the surface in elegant dances. The memory brought a smile to her face, whisking her back to simpler times. She remembered that picture. Sonata had made it for her. How long ago was that? Weeks? Months? There hadn't been a reason for it. Sonata rarely had a reason. It wasn't a gift she gave because she felt like she needed to repay Adagio for some earlier kindness. No, she had given that gift because she thought Adagio would like it, and that was the only motivation she had needed. How many hours had she spent slaving away on the painting just for a minute or two of gratification when she finally gifted it? Setting the strawberries down on her desk, her hand idly reached up to her hair, feeling for the spiked hairband she wore so often. She tugged it off, letting her hair tumble down her back unbound while she held the band in her hands, careful not to scratch herself on the entirely authentic spikes. It was such a simple thing, much like the picture, but then Aria had always been fond of the simpler things. She smiled faintly, recalling the circumstances in which she had acquired it. There hadn't been any warning, just an unmarked package showing up outside her door. Aria had been so reluctant to talk about it that she didn't reveal that she had made it until a month later. Pity, really. Aria could be so sweet when she stopped projecting that rough persona she liked to cultivate. Smiling fondly, Adagio went over to her desk, opened a drawer and took out a book. A plain, unadorned black book, beaten and battered from many years of use. There were many books in her room, but this one was one that she had penned herself. A diary of sorts. There had been days when she poured over it for hours on end, recording new memories whenever she formed them. That book was the latest of several volumes recounting her long life in as much entirety as she could manage. I think it's time to relive some old memories. Adagio put her hairband back on and sat back down on her bed, resting her back on the wall and tucking her legs to the side while she carefully handled the book and flipped through the pages. The contents should have been familiar, penned by her own hand in meticulous detail and impeccable neatness, but many of the words felt distant, harkening back to once vibrant memories faded and muted by the passage of time. She could never have recounted all of the things that those words spoke of, but she found herself re-experiencing the past with every page. She remembered curling up under a blanket with her sisters and a warm mug of hot chocolate on a frigid winter night. They passed the time and the cold by telling 'scary' stories and then laughing about how silly they sounded. She remembered roaming the world, anonymously starring in operas and plays and stunning the crowds with unrivaled performances. She remembered trips to the beach, where they had played in the sand, swam in the ocean and started fights with alluring smiles and tempting melodies. Pity the people here are so prudish. No idea how to properly enjoy the water. There was probably an album lying around somewhere with all the pictures that they had taken of themselves. Their past was full of such frivolous moments, anything to pass the boredom that inevitably came with immortality, but none of them recent. She couldn't easily recall the last time they had gone to the beach together, or gathered around the dinner table at night to play those inane board games Sonata enjoyed, or all huddled together on the couch and watched television together. Some days, it felt like they barely knew each other. The most they did was go out to feed, but those outings invariably devolved into bickering and exchanges of barbs and lamentations. When did we get so distant? The satisfactory nostalgia that she felt slowly faded, a torturous yearning springing up in its place. She longed for the times before they had seen that rainbow when the entire world had been their playground, every inhabitant a pawn to be toyed with at their leisure. Would we still be like that, I wonder? If I hadn't seen that magic, would they have gone after it on their own? She scoffed. Of course not. One look at that power and they'd have run off with their tails tucked between their legs. Maybe they would be better off without me. She hated herself for thinking it, but in the moment it felt like the only rational thought. After all, she had already failed them twice, each time more disastrous than the last. What new tragedy would befall them if they continued to look to her for guidance and leadership? Aria could be cunning when she put her mind to it. Even Sonata had her moments of clarity. It might be rough for them at first, but she was certain that they'd adapt in time. Rising from her chair, she closed the book and set it down, throwing the tantalizing thoughts it contained to the side where they could do no harm. Her eyes went first to her door and then to her window. She made her way across her room and swept the curtains aside, casting her gaze out to the dreary sky above. Tonight, she thought. I won't make them suffer my weakness any longer. They can step out of my shadow, as they should have done years ago. A little bell jingled as Aria pushed the door open. She hated that bell. The interior of the ice cream shop was even more sickening with all its bright, cheery pastel colors. Furthermore, it smelled strongly of sweet things, which made Aria grimace. Even worse, there were other people in the shop. Considering it wasn't exactly warm outside, there were far more customers than she had been hoping for. From the way a few of them looked up and frowned as the room filled with a faint aroma of fear and suspicion, it was obvious that some of them recognized her. Students, perhaps, or acquaintances who recognized her from second-hand descriptions. One of the dangers of frequenting the neighborhood around the school. She thought she saw one or two customers slowly reaching for their phones, looking at her like she was some kind of criminal. A sly, mocking smirk spread across her face as she noted that not a single one had a clue how much danger they would be in if she were in a worse mood. Behind the counter, a young-ish girl with soft white hair smiled sweetly at first, only faltering when she saw how Aria and the other customers interacted. "Hi," she said, half-heartedly enthusiastic. "Can I get you something?" Aria swept one cold, leering glare around the room before sauntering up to the counter and curtly stating her request. A minute or two later, she dug out a wad of bills and change, flung it at the girl, accepted two sundaes and carried them outside, where Sonata sat at a rickety table casting a vacant stare out towards the overcast town. When Aria sat down next to her, she jumped a little, looked at her and frowned. “I don’t think I’m hungry anymore,” she mumbled. “Just eat it,” Aria said, pressing a spoon into Sonata’s hand and sliding her one of the bowls. “Already paid for it anyway.” “Can we go home now?” Aria sighed and rolled her eyes. For all she disliked chipper Sonata, moody Sonata might have been even worse. “Just… eat the damn ice cream, would you? I didn’t drag you all the way out here just so you could have a change of scenery while you sulk.” Sonata glared at her. Or tried to, at least. No matter how much anger she tried to project, her wide, innocent eyes and childlike features always made her look more petulant than anything else. Without saying a word or looking away from Aria, Sonata took a spoon, jabbed it into her ice cream, and shoved it into her mouth. Her expression showed a fierce determination to get absolutely no satisfaction from it whatsoever. She paused, swirling her tongue around in her mouth. Her next mouthful came more quickly than the first, and the third more quickly than the second. Aria smirked at the sight, going to work on her sundae at a markedly slower pace. “Feeling better?” she asked between spoonfuls. Sonata nodded, pausing to smile at Aria. “A little,” she said just before her expression fell, “but I still wish she’d talk to us. I hope she’s alright in there.” “She just needs some time to herself. It's not like this is the first time she's done something like this.” Aria licked her lips and grimaced at the sweet taste. "Remember two centuries ago when that famous musician guy she had a crush on went deaf before she got around to going overseas to meet him and jump his bones? Locked herself in her room for a week. And then she did the same thing a few decades later when the girl who wrote that prejudice book or whatever died." “I guess, but two weeks is a long time, don't you think? That's, like... five fortnights or something, right?” Sonata finished her sundae and sighed, resting her head on her hands and looking out into the street with a glumly thoughtful expression. “Aria?” Aria quickly swallowed a mouthful of ice cream. “What?” "Why do you think she won't talk to us? Do you think she's mad?" "She's always mad. Some days she just hides it better." Aria set her bowl down, forgetting it for a moment. Not that she had ever liked it to begin with. Far too sweet for her tastes. "Don't worry about her so much." Sonata quirked her lips. She spent several seconds in thought and then spoke in a timid voice. "Are you mad at me?" "No more than usual. Should I be?" "Well..." Sonata trailed off into another morose sigh before gesturing vaguely with her hands. "I don't know. Just forget it." Aria glared sternly at Sonata. "What are you thinking, Sonata?" Sonata looked at her only briefly, fidgeting anxiously and then turning her somber eyes to the ground. She hesitated, clearly uncomfortable confiding to Aria. Hardly surprising. They both tended to go to Adagio for things like that, not each other. Finally, Sonata whispered a question: "Did we lose because of me?" Ah. So that's what this is all about. Aria thought in silence for a moment, eyes never leaving Sonata's. "Does it matter? What happened happened. We're where we are, no matter who's responsible." "I'm not sure Adagio thinks the same way." Sonata sniffled and rubbed her eye. “But thanks for not being mad at me, Aria. I… know I can be hard to deal with sometimes. I just... I wish that there was something that I could do, but I just don't know- I don't know-” Sonata cut herself off with another sigh, giving Aria an apologetic smile. "Thanks," she repeated, softly. "Thanks for putting up with me." Aria nodded. “Yeah, you can be a real idiot when you put your mind to it.” She reached down and held Sonata’s hand. “But you’re still my sister, even if you’re the worst one ever. I’m not gonna leave you, and I know that Adagio won’t either.” Sonata's smile widened. She pushed her bowl aside and practically leapt across the table to throw her arms around Aria's chest. Aria recoiled at the unexpected gesture, but failed to pull away in time. She grumbled when Sonata curled up in her lap and thought about pushing her off, but decided against it. If Sonata was in one of her cuddly moods and it made her feel better, there was little harm in indulging her for a minute or two. Of course, that didn't mean she had to like it. “Don’t tell Adagio I did this. It’ll ruin my image.” Sonata giggled. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Aria raised her eyebrow, drawing another giggle from Sonata. “You ready to head back?” “Nope!” Sonata rested her head on Aria’s chest, closed her eyes and sighed again, thoroughly enjoying the moment while it lasted. Though hesitant at first, Aria eventually relented, though she did note that at least a few people inside the store were staring at them through the window with mixed expressions of confusion and dread. Just a few weeks ago, she would have dismissed them as insignificant, but the faces that clearly recognized her suddenly felt unnerving. "Sonata?" She tapped Sonata on the shoulder. "We should go." Just to keep a low profile, she added in her head. "Fine," Sonata muttered, pouting but obediently pulling back and standing up, waiting for Aria to stand before setting off down the sidewalk towards their home. The moment Sonata stepped back through the front door, she dashed up the stairs to Adagio's door. Her shoulders slumped when she saw that it remained closed, her eyes lowering as she turned and went back downstairs, where she saw Aria in the kitchen rummaging through the refrigerator searching for whatever kinds of Aria food they had lying around. Rats, hagfish, yucky bugs, that sort of thing. Or beer, as it turned out. Sonata frowned, leaning forward and looking a little more closely. Is that a... bandage? On her arm? Sure enough, whilst Aria was fussing with a bottle opener, Sonata noted a patch of rough, dark cloth crudely taped to her left bicep. She must have been too distracted to notice it earlier. At first, she thought about asking about it, but decided not to bother. Not like Aria would tell her anyway. And besides, there were other things she wanted to say. Sonata paused for a moment, staring blankly at Aria's back until she finally mustered the resolve to voice her opinion. “Aria?” Aria flicked the cap off her bottle and glanced over her shoulder at Sonata. “What now?” Sonata twirled her hair around her finger, already dreading Aria's response. “I was thinking… Adagio won’t talk to us. Do you think that maybe… she’d like having someone else to talk to?” “Right. Someone she hates less than us." Aria took a swig, swung the refrigerator closed and then leaned against it as she faced in Sonata's general-ish direction. "That’s not hard to find at all. I keep telling you, she’ll be fine. You know she likes some time to herself once in awhile.” Aria grumbled and then raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Who were you thinking of, anyway?” “Do you remember that one girl Adagio had us do all that research on?” “Yes,” Aria said, curtly. “Do you remember where her house is?” Aria whipped her head to face Sonata head on and spat, “Why the hell would you want to know?” Sonata looked at Aria reproachfully and swatted her on the arm. “Aria! Language!” Aria flicked Sonata’s hair, making her flinch. “Screw you. Why you do want to know?” “Well…” Sonata fussed with her hair for a moment, “... she seemed nice, and Adagio… she’s been crying in there, Aria. I’m worried about her, but I don’t think she’ll let us help her.” “When you say it that way, it doesn’t sound dumb at all.” Sonata tilted her head. “Really?” “No. When has Adagio ever needed somebody's help?" Aria lifted her free hand to her neck, clenching it into a fist. "And even if she did, that girl broke our gems, Sonata. Might’ve taken our magic away, in case that pint-sized brain of yours forgot somehow. You are not going to talk to her.” “Why not?” Sonata protested. “I don’t think she’ll try to hurt us again, Aria.” “Good. The first time was plenty.” Aria took another drink, then folded her arms and leered down at Sonata. “She is not your friend, and you are not going to talk to her.” At first, Sonata wilted under Aria’s aggression, but then a realization struck her and she put her hands on her hips, mimicking the dominant pose she had seen Adagio take so many times. “Says who? You’re not the boss of me.” “Sonata-” “No! I can make my own decisions, Aria.” “Bad ones, maybe. Come on, even you should know this is a stupid idea.” Aria drained her bottle and chucked it into a trashcan. “You’re just doing this ‘cause I told you not to, aren’t you?” “Better than anything that you’ve come up with,” Sonata retorted with a scoff. “What, going out and doing something is stupid but sitting around all grumpy and stuff isn’t? Maybe it won’t work, but at least I’m trying!” Aria’s eyes narrowed and her teeth clenched. “I haven’t been sitting around, Sonata,” she hissed. “Then why haven’t you tried talking to her? It’s been two whole weeks and you haven’t tried once. Dagi's crying, Aria. She’s alone and she’s crying, and I think she really needs someone to talk to. If it’s not gonna be one of us, then it better be somebody else.” Aria muttered profanities under her breath. “Fine. You want to waste your time with Sunpet Thimble or whatever the fuck her name is? Go ahead. Be my guest.” She looked down at Sonata, boring into her with piercing violet eyes and leveling a slender finger to prod her in the chest. “If you cry again when this doesn’t work, don’t even think about coming to me.” Sonata gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “Where does she live, Aria?” Aria scowled, fumbling through her pockets briefly and then scrawling an address on a sheet of paper that she crumpled into a ball and lobbed in Sonata's general direction. Sonata leapt to the side to catch it, snatching it out of the air and unfolding it. “There you go,” Aria snarled, swatting at Sonata with one hand and slinking towards the stairs to her room, plucking the stars out of her hair as she went. She paused halfway up, smoothing her hair and then glaring down at Sonata. “If that girl tries anything, then I will make sure that she never walks again. I don’t care how much you like her.” The two girls exchanged dirty looks before parting, Aria slinking upstairs to her room and Sonata walking out the door and slamming it behind her.