//------------------------------//
// Daring and Maud's Subterranean Adventure 
// Story: Daring Do and the Journey to the Center of the Earth 
// by insaneponyauthor 
//------------------------------//

        It was a typically gray day at the Pie family’s rock farm, with Pinkie Pie’s pink coat and mane standing out as a distinct splash of color.  She had come for a visit to see Maud, who was on summer vacation from the school where she was studying to get her Rocktorate.  Pinkie was eagerly bouncing around, on a quest to find where Boulder was hiding, a game she and Maud had often played when they were young fillies.  Pinkie went to look inside the tool shed, and was surprised when a small, wet tongue licked her in the face!

        “A puppy!  How did a puppy get in here?!  It’s so cute!” she squealed excitedly, seeing that what had licked her was a very small, fluffy and poofy orange dog.  It had little triangular ears that pricked up, and its plume-like tail curled over its back.

        “I like to explore, and thought this place might have food.  I smell something very sweet about you,” the little dog said.

        “WOW!!  A talking dog!  Are you from that human world Twilight visited?  I heard Spike turned into a talking dog there,” Pinkie remembered.

        “What’s a human?  Is it fun to sniff?” the dog asked innocently.  Pinkie suddenly gasped excitedly.

        “I got a great idea!  Come meet my sister Maud!  You can join our game and then you’ll have something fun to sniff for!” Pinkie burst out.  She ran off back to where Maud was waiting, methodically examining a pile of rocks that would look identical to the untrained eye.  

        “Try again.  Boulder isn’t in the tool shed,” Maud said in her monotonous voice.

        “No, but I found a TALKING DOG in there!  The dog can help play too, it could sniff for Boulder!  Fluttershy told me dogs have an amazing sense of smell,” Pinkie gushed. 

        “Sure, I can play with you.  By the way, my name is Blossom.  It says so on my collar,” the dog said, coming up behind Pinkie, who then noticed that Blossom was, in fact, wearing a collar that had a nametag dangling from it.

        “Okie dokie lokie, Blossom!  Would you like to help sniff for my sister Maud’s pet rock, Boulder?” Pinkie asked.

        “Sure.  Just let me give you another kiss first,” Blossom requested, prancing over to Pinkie and staring right up into her face.  Behind Pinkie, Maud’s eyes widened very slightly as she realized that her Maud Sense was telling her there was something very wrong about this dog.  Unfortunately, when Pinkie bent down to let Blossom kiss her, Blossom did something completely different.  Instead of licking the pink pony’s face, she opened her mouth as if she was yawning, and what looked like glittering pink smoke came out of Pinkie’s head and was sucked into Blossom’s mouth.  Pinkie collapsed to the ground, her mane straight and deflated, her blue eyes blank and unseeing.  

        “What did you do to Pinkie?” Maud challenged, her usually stoic tone having a slight edge to it. 

        “I didn’t do anything to her.  Not her body, at least.  Her soul was delicious, though,” the dog said, her cute and innocent tone and puppy face contrasting with what she was saying.

        “Give my sister her soul back,” Maud demanded, in that same dull but slightly stern tone, stepping forward.  

        “You’ll have to catch me first!” Blossom taunted, and then she dashed off away from the rock farm, faster than any normal dog could run.  Maud followed her anyway, realizing that Blossom was heading for the rocky hills where she and her sisters had mined some of the most fascinating metamorphic and igneous rocks.  However, Maud first made sure that Boulder was safe in her pocket.  He might be lonely without her, and he might be able to help, she thought.

        Meanwhile, while Maud was chasing Blossom, Daring Do was exploring the mountainous area near the rock farm.  She had been curious about the rumors she had heard about the fabled “City of the Talking Dogs”, which was supposed to be at the center of the Earth.  Supposedly, this mysterious canine city also had a connection to the Diamond Dogs as well.  As she inspected the area, she came across what looked like a set of shapes carved into a flat rock that looked like dog paw marks.  She looked around to see if there were any other rocks with paw marks carved in them, and then she saw what looked like a dog of the Poneranian variety run by and disappear through what looked like solid rock.  Daring Do approached the spot she had seen the dog disappear at, and when she touched her hoof to the rocky wall, it went through as if the rock wasn’t even there!  

        “Maybe this really will take me to the City of the Dogs,” she murmured to herself in wonder.  She stuck her head through the illusory wall and saw that it had been concealing a tunnel that was lit up by a faint, eerie blue glow.  True to her name, Daring Do stepped into the tunnel, determined to find out where the mysterious dog had gone to.

        Back outside, Maud had seen both Blossom the soul-sucking Poneranian and Daring Do disappear into the rocky cliff.  If she was going to get her sister’s soul back, she was going to have to continue to follow them.  Maud approached the seemingly solid wall of rock, noticing that one spot was a very slightly more bluish shade of gray than the rest of the wall.  That must be where that dog disappeared to, she thought to herself.  Maud walked through the illusory wall and stepped into the tunnel.  As she walked along the glowing blue tunnel, at first she thought it was made of fluorite, but then that made her realize that if it was fluorite, then there would need to be a source of ultraviolet light to make the rocks glow that shade of blue.  She picked up a small rock that had fallen on the floor of the tunnel and examined it more closely.  She was surprised to find that it did not look like any kind of rock she had ever seen before!  Maud put the small rock in her other pocket and continued to head down the tunnel, in steady pursuit of the dog who had stolen Pinkie’s soul.

        As Daring Do walked through the tunnel, she realized that she was not alone.  She could hear footsteps that sounded more like they came from another pony’s hooves, separate from the soft tapping sound made by the little dog’s paws ahead of her.  She stopped, internally debating with herself whether or not she should call out to whoever was behind her.  If she called out, she could lose the advantage of stealth, but on the other hand, her own hoofsteps hadn’t been exactly quiet.  With that realization, she decided that she’d rather confront whoever it was at this point, before they both were too far from the entrance of the mysterious tunnel.

        “Who’s there?” she called out, her tone showing that she was willing to fight whoever it was, if needed.

“No worries, it’s just me” Maud replied. 
“Oh, aren’t you one of Pinkie’s sisters? What are you doing here?” 
Maud paused and pointed further into the tunnel before speaking again. “Some weird, talking dog stole Pinkie’s soul, so I went chasing it. I noticed it went the same way you were going, so I just followed behind.” 
Daring gasped with an air of confusion. “I’ve heard rumors about an ancient city of dogs, but I had no idea they had such capabilities! Look, I know you wanna help your sis, but this will be a dangerous trek, so do you think you’re up for this task?” 
Maud stared back at Daring Do with her usually stone cold face for a while before answering. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be, let’s find my sister.” she replied with a monotonous voice before running off deeper into the tunnel. 
“... damn, I can’t read her emotions at all!” Daring said to herself before following Maud on their newfound adventure.
---
Meanwhile, below the shards of time, another meeting was taking place.
“I, Demigra, have asked you all to meet for a very important reason. It seems that in Puddinghead’s absence, the Time Patrol is closer to figuring out the location of our lair, so I sent an informant to retrieve her soul.” 
Brando slammed his hands on the table in anger. “Lord Demigra, don’t you understand how powerful she’s become recently!?” 
Demigra glanced at Brando in a smug manner. “Of course, her sporadic mannerisms could be our greatest downfall, that’s why I sent someone to steal only her soul. The soul is the source of anyone’s power, and it’s less messier than dealing with Puddinghead herself.”
Mane-iac raised her hoof, Demigra accepting her answer. “Lordship, don’t you think we should move from this area? Even though this dimension is outside of time itself, it hasn’t stopped the Time Patrollers from infiltrating before. I know we put up a barrier recently, but it might be best if we found a safer location. For example, where did you say this informant was from?” 
Demigra took moment to remember before speaking. “Ah yes, the informant was a powerful wizard from an underground city under Equestria! She looked like a small puppy, but happened to be well over 200 years old, and I believe her name was… Blossom.”
Everyone at the round table was quiet for a good 5 minutes before the place erupted in laughter.
“SILENCE!!!” exclaimed the embarrassed Lord Demigra. 
“We’re sorry lordship,” said Chrysalis, “it’s just that we didn’t think that you’d send such a tiny being to do the job. I mean, look at us! We have plenty of power between us to overwhelm Puddinghead!” 
Demigra growled, “I understand that, but you all have to understand that we need to keep our cover from being blown. No one would ever suspect a puppy, even one as powerful as Blossom, to be connected to us. Though, we do need someone to be at the underground city to obtain the soul back. Towa, you’re pretty smart, I’ll elect you to go to the city to meet Blossom. Once you two meet at the city’s Capital, obtain Puddinghead’s soul when no one’s looking. Here’s 100,000 bits, this should be a good enough exchange for Blossom.”
“Thank you Lord Demigra.” replied Towa. “I’ll be back soon enough.” 
Demigra got up from his throne and stretched. “Alright, meeting is adjourned, you all can go back to your timelines and universes. We’ll meet back again once Towa’s done with her mission.” 
Everyone went back through their universe’s specific time shards, and Towa went to Equestria’s time shard, but Demigra stayed behind to make sure no one else was around.
“Hmm… I think everyone is gone now,” Demigra yelled into the void, “I think you should come out now!” 
A short, grey blob being in a clashing outfit emerged from the darkness. “What do you want, Demigra?” 
Demigra quickly bowed down in front of the blob person. “Oh great Demon God, I beseech to you, it might be time for your assistance.” 
The Demon God looked on in confusion. “I was watching the whole time, it seemed you’ve got everything planned out, what help do you need from me?” 
Demigra raised his head, wide-eyed and on the verge of tears. “Demon God, I have realized Puddinghead has friends, friends with connections… connections to the Time Patrol! I know very well Puddinghead doesn’t go by that name with her friends, in fact I’m pretty sure Puddinghead is the split personality of Ms. Pinkie Pie. If people find out Pinkie has been sucked of her soul, word will get out, and it might hit the Time Patrol quickly!”
“Demigra, dude, stop crying like baby and get up.” Demigra rose up and wiped his face off. “You don’t have to worry, if something goes awry, I’ll just teleport there and deal with it myself. I went undercover as a Time Patroller back in my youth, I know the ins and outs. I’ll make sure they don’t interfere with your plans.” 
With a huge smile on his face, Demigra hugged the blob person. “Oh thank you, great Demon God!” 
The person shoved Demigra away and dusted himself off. “And another thing, don’t call me ‘Demon God’, you can just call me by my birthname.”
“Ah, yes, I won’t fail you… Lord Dumplin.”
---
Maud and Daring Do had walked for hours upon hours, traversing the glowing caves, seeing no end in sight. “Hey, Maud, do you get the feeling we’ve been walking in circles?” 
Looking around the caves, Maud replies with a simple shrug. 
Walking a few more meters, Daring noticed something odd about the caves that she hadn’t before. “That’s weird, there seems to be cracks along these walls. Maud, you’re good with rocks, anything off about this?” 
Maud glares at the cracks for a while before giving her hypothesis. “Judging by how large this crack is and how it seems to be in an arched formation, I think either we might be below a fault line, or…” Maud paused as she punched the wall open “this is a secret entrance.”
Daring’s jaw dropped as she saw how Maud effortlessly crushed the wall in one hit. “My Celestia, I had no idea you were this strong! How did you manage such a feat?” 
Maud looked back at Daring, stone faced as ever. “Living on a rock farm for most of your life can do wonders to the mind and body. Now let’s go, we might be getting closer.” Daring Do nodded, and caught up with Maud. This new tunnel was much darker, and glowed a faint green color. Various noises could be heard in the distance, coming closer to the two.
The two stopped in place and readied themselves just in case a fight was about to break out. Oddly enough, the noises came from a yelling Skylark, who seemed to be running away from something. “GANGWAY, HE’S OUT TO GET ME!!!” Maud and Daring looked back at what Skylark was running from and saw Garter Briefs chasing after him. 
Before he could pass them, Maud stopped the kid and called back Skylark. “Hey, what are you two doing here?” 
Skylark was shaking as he was trying to explain everything. “I was babysitting young Garter here when he, for some odd reason, started using his wristwatch to mess with me! He was shooting lasers and turning the house inside out and all of a sudden, we ended up in this… place!” 
Maud, with a calm sigh, snatched Garters watch. “Alright, you two have to come with us. It’s too dangerous for a kid and a Skylark to be venturing in a cave system by themselves.” Garter and Skylark nodded as they followed Maud and Daring Do on their quest.
Off in the distance, someone else seemed to be spying on the group, and quietly ran off before anyone could notice him.

Daring stopped to look back. The darkness of the archway was bare and silent. Looking at Maud, she was met with intense expressionless inquisition. "Uh, it's probably nothing."

"Okay," said the Skylark.

Maud and Daring turned to continue farther down the passage.

The skylark and Garter Briefs hurried after.

"Say," asked the skylark, "What are you doing down here?"

"Oh, us?" said Daring. "W--"

"A puppy stole my sister's soul." Intoned Maud.

"What?" asked the skylark.

They continued in silence for a while. The damp gently downward sloping cylindrical tunnel carried the echoes of their hoofsteps far.

"Well, it's a long story," said Daring Do.

Rough stones and occasional boulders littered the ground making hoofing difficult.

Their hoofsteps echoed through the tunnel.

"This passage is clearly Ponymade," said Daring. "These walls are clearly too smooth to be natural."

"Natural fissures are not shaped like this." Agreed Maud.

The tunnel seemed to go on forever. Only the drip drip of water droplets and the echoes of hooves broke the monotony.

"Hold," said Daring.

Maud looked back. Daring was removing a glow stick from her pack. The skylark stumbled into Maud and Garter Briefs tumbled into both. "What is it." Questioned Maud.

"Do you think someone is following us?" asked the skylark.

"No, nothing like that." Daring turned to the huge slab to the left side of the tunnel. "...'And the drugs were wearing off'..." She looked at Maud. "I think it's a prophetic tablet."

"Fascinating." Declared Maud. She walked up to it.

"Hmm, 'Mud pies and adventure will fall from the sky.' Hmm. 'Then pudding soul will power a device of doom.' No, that can't be right."

"Who wrote it." Questioned Maud.

Daring moved the glow stick to the bottom of the tablet. "Oh. That part's missing." She moved the glow stick back up the tablet. "'The pudding mix will go in a blender. A towel will doggedly fight for time. A black cloud of changes will cover the land. Then the god of zeppelins will'--no--'Lord of dumplings will come and fire will blast up from the ground.'"

"Haha! Is that weird or what?" Asked the skylark.

"We should go." Informed Maud.

"Hold, I want to take a rubbing."

"My sister's soul is not standing still." Provided Maud.

"This could be important." Daring Do set the glow stick on the ground.

Maud walked up to Daring as she pulled paper out of her pack. Eye to eye, Maud explained, "there is no such thing as prophecy."

Daring Do hesitated. "Uh, are you sure about that?"

"So uh, how important is this soul, anyway?" Asked the skylark.

Daring Do put the parchment away and continued down the tunnel. "Who am I do say no to a mare in distress?"

Garter Briefs caught up with Maud. "So, do you really not believe in Prophecy?"

Drip, drip.

"It is most likely a logical impossibility. It would violate the principle of free will." Exposited Maud.

Clop-clop-clop-clop. Daring's eyes wandered across several other large slabs sitting against the walls.

"Don't even think about it." Stated Maud.

"Well what if someone from the future went back in time and wrote the tablet?"

Maud turned to him and looked him in the eye and right through to his soul as she kept walking.

Garter became incredibly interested in the ground.

"You know, this reminds me of the time I went spelunking in Neckpoll," said Daring. "You would not believe the size of some of those sinkholes. One hundred stories deep. Right smack dab in the middle of lush, verdant jungle. Oh hey, a change of pace." The tunnel had levelled out. Up ahead, a staircase went up and opened in to a large, better lit, blue chamber.

"Do you ever feel like you are walking on air." Inquired Maud as she walked beside Daring.

Daring looked askance at Maud. "Uh, no? I cannot say that I ever have." A deafening crack shook the floor.

Then there was no floor. Everyone screamed as they fell. Except Maud.

Light flooded the world. Maud looked at Daring and arched a single eyebrow. "You are a pegasus."

Daring blushed. "Oh, right." Her words were sucked away by the raising volume of the wind.

She swam over and put both forelegs and both hindlegs around Maud's barrel. She flared her wings painfully. "Ugh!" Multiple times the force of gravity pulled down on both as Daring broke against the wind.

"Oops." Spoke Maud.

Daring looked down. A ways below, the tiny skylark was far less successfully fighting gravity as she clung to Garter Briefs' back.

Between the pairs, fell the ankle watch.

"The watch!" cried Garter. He began swimming toward it.

"What are you doing!" asked the skylark.

Garter grabbed the anklet and flourishingly pushed a button on it.

A loud bang echoed. The pair was gone. Instead, there was an ocean below.

A world spread out, like a photorealistic map, an ocean miles below, and what were either large islands or continents in the distance in every direction. The ceiling of the cavern reflected light like an overcast day. The walls could not be seen in the distance.

Daring Do looked up at the speck that was the hole in the ceiling. "Up or down?"

Maud also looked up. "Up." Chose Maud.

Sweat began drenching Daring's forehead. "You are too heavy. Down."

"Pinkie's soul is up there." Countered Maud.

"And we don't know where it's going. You are going down. I can go up if I drop you."

"Hmmm." Contemplated maud. "What do you think Boulder." Requested Maud into her rock pouch.

Above the hole in the sky a pair of glowing teal eyes looked down it. "Mistress Towa will not be happy." The eyes looked up. "The ambush is off!" The echo filled the tunnel.

A distant echo answered. "What should we do now?"

Another echo replied, "rendezvous at Dog City?"

A third echo followed, "um, how do we get there from here?"

The distant echo rejoined, "This place is a maze of twisty passages, all alike."

A shadow leapt across the hole. "Leave this to me. You lot couldn't navigate your way out of a paper bag." The loud echo faded rapidly. "The main access is two lefts and a right past the vending machine."

Many, many miles away, a narrow beam of light shot down from the ceiling and struck the heart of a mass of red roofed buildings. A cute little pink puppy stepped off the rune covered teleportation pad. She looked both ways across the busy market square and hurried across it. None of the diamond dogs took note of her trespass.

She ran through the busy streets and dodged into a back alley.

A cloaked stranger lifted her hood.

"You are not Mistress Demigra."

"No, I am her representative in this, Mistress Towa." She offered up a tiny bag to the cute pink puppy.

"We agreed to more than this."

"Look inside."

The puppy stuck her head into the bag's maw. "Oh, it is bigger on the inside." She look up, calm composure plain on her muzzle. She produced the soul jar, eyed the stranger, and tossed it over. "Our business is concluded." She turned to leave.

"It does not have to be. There are more bits where those came from, miss Blossom."

        The drugs were beginning to wear off.
        At least, they were for Briefs. While he rubbed the life back into his numb hindlegs, the skylark was busy rolling around on the floor, moaning pitifully. Time travel was a taxing means of moving around, especially under duress, and a little bit of pain relief went a long way. Unfortunately, administering it in proper doses was not the Time Anklet’s forte.
        Briefs supposed one could only ask so much of a single device, particularly one that was able to travel through time and shoot lasers. Frankly, anything on top of that was a bit selfish. He suspected, however, that the skylark would disagree with him on that last point.
        At any rate, the point was moot. The skylark was beginning to recover as well, her tiny eyes blinking rapidly in the gloom. “What?” she asked. “Where are the dogs? The turtles? The… clown with the fish and…” she shuffled her wings awkwardly.
        “Gonna guess they went back into your head,” Briefs said. “You were probably just hallucinating from the painkillers.”
        The skylark rubbed her head. “Painkillers?” she asked. “Why was I on painkillers?”
        Briefs tapped his anklet. “Distracts your body from the fact that the taxi of your body just took a shortcut through the shopping mall of time. That won’t kill you, but it won’t be any fun either. Trust me.”
        “...What?” The skylark asked. She looked around. “...This is a pretty crummy mall.”
        “... Metaphor,” Briefs said. He rolled his eyes. “It was a metaphor. We’re not in a mall, we just travelled through time.”
        The skylark looked him up and down and tittered. “I think you’re hallucinating,” she said.”
        “No, re--you know what, nevermind. Let’s just say we teleported. We teleported to exactly where the world happened to be relative to us…” he checked the anklet, “0.27 seconds before we fell. Which, by my best guess, would put us two stories up and twenty meters back.”
        The skylark did not seem any more convinced by this. Still, if one were to press her for comment they would that she could not, in fact, that they were two stories up and twenty meters back. Although she would note that they were, in fact, twenty-five feet back, but birds were good at that sort of thing so she didn’t expect Briefs to be exactly right. He had no chance to learn of her generosity, however, because someone else had already begun to speak.
        The voice was muffled by feet of stone. It seemed to be coming from behind the wall, in what Briefs could only imagine was another tunnel. Its tone was low and droning, the sort of voice that is frequently attached to pioneers in the field of unintelligence. It asked, “What should we do now?”
        Another voice, more distant but more keen, replied. “Rendezvous at Dog City?”
        Briefs pressed himself against the wall as the conversation played out, listening carefully. The speakers were Diamond Dogs, that much was certain. Diamond Dogs squatting in an abandoned, underground pony city? Assuming it even was a pony city. After her translation of the ‘prophecy’, Briefs wouldn’t have trusted Daring Do farther than he could throw her. Although that was a significant distance, so he would have trusted her considerably less, in fact.
        “Leave this to me,” a final voice said. It was mellow and confidant. Still a Diamond Dog, but clearly intelligent. Intelligent enough to dodge the blows to the head the Dogs handed out like candy, at any rate. “You lot couldn’t navigate your way out of a paper bag.” There was a great rumbling and thumping and slapping of limbs against stone as the voices began to run deeper into the tunnels. “The main access is lefts and a right past the vending machine.”
        Briefs bolted after the Diamond Dogs, with the Skylark following in his wake. “Hey!” she chirped, “Where are you going?”
        “Two lefts and a right past the vending machine,” he said, as much to himself as the Skylark.
        “Wait, seriously?” The Skylark asked. “You’re following the Dogs?”
        “You know another way out of here?” Brief asked over his shoulder. He did, of course. He had the universe’s own Way Out strapped to his wrist. He didn’t need to go out, however. He needed to find someone who could actually translate his mission orders properly. “Keep your voice down,” he added.
        His pace slowed as he approached a corner, and he pressed his shoulder against it. The sound of the Diamond Dogs’ footsteps grew sharply louder, and a peek around the corner saw four burly brutes run past a doorway. “Faster!” their leader bellowed. “Mistress Towa needs to know those ponies are still after the pudding soul!”
        Briefs blinked slowly. Alright. Maybe he didn’t need someone to properly translate his orders, but it would sure be nice to find someone who could confirm them.

----

        One thousand miles below them (Although if The Skylark had been there she would have noted that it was in fact Nine Hundred and Eighty-Six feet), Maud and Daring Do crashed into the ocean.
        It was a slow crash, almost casual; The Stephanie Meyers of crashes. Like all Stephanie Meyers of Things, however, for all its slowness it hit Daring Do like a slingstone to the kidney. She doubled over as she slapped against the surface. She had twisted her body in mid-fall to shield Maud, an action she deeply regretted in retrospect. Any pony who weighed as much as Maud had to be sturdy enough to handle a fall like that. Even Daring would have been fine, if she had not just spent the last five minutes struggling against gravity with the world’s densest pony in tow.
        Fortunately, it seemed that Maud was in better shape. Daring Do felt a hoof wrap itself around her barrel, and all at once their was a great heaving and the roar of water rushing past her ears. In what seemed like no time at all Maud deposited Daring on the shore of a nearby island.
        Daring Do rolled over onto her back, wheezing and choking for breath. Maud helpfully stepped her chest, pressing out a glassful of water and realigning several of Daring’s ribs.
        “It would have been faster,” Maud said, “To drop me at one-hundred feet up, at a 30 degree angle. I would have survived the fall, and the angle would have carried me to the floor under the water. I’m a slow swimmer.”
        “You’re welcome,” Daring Do grunted, struggling upright. “Next time I’m trying to save you from a thousand-foot drop, let me know when you’ll survive me abandoning you.”
        “Alright,” Maud said. “Also, the drop was One Thousand and Two feet.”
        Daring Do adjusted her expedition helmet and turned to face Maud, asking, “What?”
        Maud, however, was not listening. She had begun to cross the beach, making for the vast and verdant jungle beyond. “Wh--hey, wait!” Daring Do said. “Where are you going?”
        “Still to retrieve my Sister’s soul,” Maud said. Despite not emoting in the slightest, she managed to sound exasperated. “It won’t save itself. Probably. You never know with Pinkie.” She offered a glance over her shoulder and added, “Don’t worry. I’ll kill anything I find in the jungle so it doesn’t come after you while you’re recovering.”
        “Don’t be stupid,” Daring Do said. She struggled to her hooves and tottered after Maud.
        “I don’t think I’ll find enough to cause an ecological impact,” Maud said.
        “I don’t care about that,” Daring said. “I wa--”
        “You don’t?” Maud asked, blinking slowly.
        Daring Do paused. “Well… well, no,” she said. “I car--”
        “You’re not a very good archeologist, then,” Maud said.
        For a moment Daring Do forgot what she was going to say, opting instead to stare at Maud until she figured out what part of her brain the aliens had removed. When she was unable to do so, she shook her head. “That isn’t even what archeologists do,” she said. “And anyways, the point is, you are a civilian.”
        “So are you,” Maud replied. “But I can deadlift Holder’s Boulder.”
        “What’s Holder’s Boulder?” Daring Do asked.
        “It’s a boulder,” Maud replied.
        Once again, Daring Do wondered just what was wrong with this mare. “Well, I have experience with situations like this,” she said.
        “You have experience with jungle islands in the middle of an ocean One-Thousand and Two feet beneath an ancient subterranean city?” Maud asked.
        Daring Do sighed and rolled her eyes. “More or less,” she said. “I have experience with ancient temples full of traps and the cursed tombs of kings and preteen girls attempting romance and Haunted Castles of Mad Not-Seal Scientists and--”
While Daring Do had been rambling, the sand around her feet had begun to shiver. Then it had begun to tremble, and quake, and bounce, in the steady, pounding rhythm of enormous footsteps. All at once the jungle came alive with the sound of shredding leaves and snapping tree-trunks.
Daring Do jumped back moments before an enormous boulder landed where she had been. Maud inspected the boulder with an odd sort of dispassionate interest. “Basalt,” she said. “That’s interesting.” She looked between the newly-arrived beast and Daring Do, and asked, “Those sound dangerous. Do you have experience with shotgun dual-wielding chimpanzees riding sapient volcanic ankylosauruses?”

        “…I’m sorry, what was that?” Daring Do ripped her eyes away from the giant boulder and they fell upon the creature that was before them. “I…. what?” An ancient ankylosaurus was planted firmly in the sand. The great beast was pitch black and its eyes, which Daring Do could feel gazing into her soul, glowed a blinding orange. As the creature breathed, chasms in its shell widened and shrank as magma oozed out of the openings like a wound. That was fine. The strange part was the chimpanzee that sat astride the ankylosaurus. The ape brandished two shotguns. Daring Do stared straight into the barrel of one while Maud was the target of the other. What stood in front of her defied all logical explanation and yet, she couldn’t really bring herself to manage any sort of reaction. Great, she was becoming more like Maud every minute. 
The chimpanzee began screeching and waving its guns around, as if it was trying to order them. “Maud, you can’t speak chimpanzee by any chance can you?” Daring Do asked, being sure to make as little movement as possible.
“No.” Came the reply
“Great.” Daring Do said as she looked around trying to find some way out.
The chimp’s screeches began to get more and more violent. Daring Do took a step back, this was going to get crazy.
“Calm yourself, my friend. We are all one beneath the benevolent gaze of the Great One.” A deep, calming voice rang through Daring Do’s head. Bewildered, she looked around to try and find the source of the voice. At the same time, the chimpanzee lowered his shotguns.
“Maud, did you hear that?” Daring Do slowly moved closer to Maud.
“Yes. I think the chimpanzee did too.” Maud pointed her hoof at the chimpanzee who now seemed completely calm.
Daring Do looked suspiciously at the ankylosaurus, “Was that you?”
The voice rang out in her head again, “Indeed, my name is Spinae and this is Dave. I apologize for my companion’s behavior; he is very suspicious of strangers you see.” It was using some kind of telepathy.
“It’s all right.” Maud said.
“Why didn’t you speak up earlier?” Daring Do asked, still tense.
“I didn’t think I had to. I have never met anyone who couldn’t understand chimpanzee.” Spinae chuckled, “Come. I will take you to see our king.”
“King of what? The chimpanzees or the ankylosauruses- ankylosaurs- ankylosauri?” Daring Do followed behind the two creatures and Maud followed suit.
“Both. Our two races live in perfect harmony with one another. We are the only ones on this island and we have learned to adapt to each other’s strengths and weaknesses.” Spinae explained.
“And the shotguns?” Daring Do swatted a vine out of her face.
“Gifts from the Great One.” Spinae crushed a tree that was in their way with his tail.
“That’s what you call your king?” Maud casually stepped over collapsed trees, stopping to examine peculiar-looking rocks she found along the way.
Spinae nodded, “That is correct.”
“…What kind of king gives shotguns as gifts?” Daring Do cringed as the jungle around her slowly began to envelope the group. The trees and vines twisted around to form a wall that became thicker the closer they got to their destination. More and more Daring Do found herself struggling to move forward and more and more did she notice that Spinae had trouble breaking through. If she didn’t know any better, she’d almost assume the jungle was alive and trying to keep them from something.
A shining blaze cut through Daring Do’s thoughts. A thick mass of vines formed a wall in front of the group that blocked their way but what caught Daring Do’s attention, and she imagined it captured Maud’s as well, was the brilliant light that shone through the gaps in wall. As Daring Do gazed upon the light, she could feel her worries melt away. Dave cleared away the vines with his shotgun and the brilliance burst forth, bathing the area in its warm glow. Spinae took a few steps forward and faced the two ponies, “Welcome to Anguli.”
        Daring Do and Maud stepped into the light, letting the glow wash over them as they followed Spinae and Dave. Once her eyes adjusted to the brightness, Daring Do could finally see the city and the source of the light. Giant pyramid-like temples that gave off a familiar shine towered over them as the citizens went about their busy lives. A river ran the length of the town and waterfalls flowed into it, creating rainbows that glint off the street. Daring Do looked around in awe, “I can’t believe a place like this was below us all along.”
        “Same.” Came Maud’s all too familiar monotone.
        “We don’t know how or why we came to be here, but the two races have learned to make do.” Spinae exposited, “Our temples were built by our forebears. We don’t know how or why they were able to do such a thing, but no one really questions it.”
        The group continued to march through the city of gold, Spinae gave greetings to various other ankylosaurs and chimpanzees they met on the way. Something about the citizens rubbed Daring Do the wrong way, but she couldn’t quite put her hoof on it. She decided to let it go for now, she’d talk with Maud about it later. They continued to follow the dinosaur and they could finally make out their destination, they gradually approached the largest temple in sight. Daring Do kept walking but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that nagged at her earlier. Daring Do hung back and opened her mouth to speak to Maud.
        “I take it that you’ve noticed it too?” Maud spoke before Daring Do could get a word in.
        “Yeah. What do you think it means?” Daring Do asked.
        “I don’t know. Should we say something?” Maud responded.
        “Not yet. Let’s at least speak to this ‘Great One’.” Daring said. Maud nodded in response and they continued on their way. 
        “We’re here.” Spinae stood proud in front of the enormous temple as Maud and Daring Do gave a quick glance of worry to each other. They stared up to the top of the temple where there was a shrine but one thought went through both of their minds at the same time: That was a lot of stairs.
---
        Briefs ducked around corner after corner, being sure to stay out of sight of the Diamond Dogs. The skylark followed close behind, even though she still didn’t want to follow them. If she were being totally honest, she would much rather just find another way around but no, they had to take the most dangerous route possible. The dogs continued to run through the corridors, and Briefs followed the whole time. First a left, then another. Briefs noticed the vending machine mentioned by the dog and briefly considered stopping for a snack. Time travel has a way of making someone really hungry. Unfortunately, he needed to keep up with the dogs. He took a right at the machine and he saw the dogs enter the main access. That was the way to Dog City. Briefs quickly and quietly followed the dogs to their destination. He glanced at his Time Anklet. Thank goodness he had that with him, otherwise he would be pretty much well sunk should he get himself into trouble. He couldn’t let this device fall into her hands. He couldn’t let it fall into anyone’s. 
Briefs finally emerged from the access tunnel on the heels of the Diamond Dogs. He turned around to gloat to the skylark, “See? I told-” She was nowhere to be found. Briefs sighed, he began to head back into the tunnel but was stopped by the sound of dust getting kicked up. As he turned around he felt a blunt pain on the back of his head. Briefs felt drowsy and weak.
“-ake them to Mistress Towa…” Briefs thought he could hear as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Everything went black.
---
Two hours and Celestia knows how many steps later, Daring Do finally dragged herself to the peak of the temple. She stayed on the ground for a few minutes in order to regain her strength. Maud casually walked past the gasping adventurer to follow Spinae into the shrine. Daring Do regained her composure and hurried to follow her companion. The walls inside the shrine were decorated in glyphs and images that Daring Do noted to resemble the ankylosaurs that inhabit the city. The only source of light came from torches that hung on the walls, leading them down the hall, ending in a colossal door. Runes and symbols ran the length of the door, Daring Do figured that they must mean something but she couldn’t parse what the intent of them was. Spinae stopped and telepathically gave a message to Dave who ran off and entered a small hole in the corner of the hall.
        “I told him to warn the Great One of our arrival. I’m afraid that this is where we part ways. I can not join you.” Spinae seemed sad, despite the fact that they had only just met. Dave came back, still brandishing his shotguns. He climbed on top of Spinae and the started to head back to the entrance. “It was nice meeting you, my friends.”
        “It was nice meeting you too Spinae.” Daring Do replied.
        “I hope we can meet again.” Maud said. A look flashed across Spinae’s face, he looked sad again. The door slowly swung inwards, leading to a pitch black chamber. Daring Do and Maud gave each other a nervous look and went inside.
The room was enormous, Daring Do couldn’t make heads or tails of how big it was exactly or even where they were. She took a step forward and the room began shaking, dust and pebbles were kicked up as the temperature rose dramatically. Daring Do wouldn’t move, she had to see what was coming. A faint light in the center of the room appeared that gradually. grew brighter and brighter. Daring Do could finally make out the appearance of the room. The room was completely circular but the first thing she noticed was a giant hole in the center of the chamber where the light was coming from. Daring Do peered down the hole to get a better look at the light but she couldn’t tell what it was. Whatever the light was though, it was rapidly moving up the hole and headed straight for her. Daring Do jumped back as an enormous shadow burst out of the pit, stared straight at her, and let loose a deafening roar. Lava burst from the creature’s mouth to light giant torches on the wall. Daring Do could finally get a good look at the monster that stood before her and it confirmed a suspicion that she had been having. This was the Great One and it looked exactly like Spinae.
“Who approaches me?” Boomed a deep voice. Daring Do clutched her head in response, this was nothing like Spinae’s comparatively calm voice. This wasn’t like the deep voice that would come out of an older stallion, it was the kind of deep that would come out of James Earl Jones, not that Daring Do knew who that was. That would be ridiculous.
        Daring Do glared at the behemoth, “We are Daring Do and Maud Pie.”
        The beast’s eyes narrowed, “Which is which?”
        “Err, well she’s Maud…” Daring Do began.
        “...and she’s Daring Do.” Maud finished.
        “Exactly.” Daring Do confirmed.
        “Why are you here?” The beast continued. Daring Do had the feeling that it didn’t really care.
        “Spinae told us to see you. I assume you wanted to see us?” She hadn’t really thought about it, but she didn’t really know why they were here either.
        “You are the ones we found on the beach, correct?” The Great One asked.
        “We’re looking for my sister’s soul.” Maud got straight to the point. There was a