Chapter One
Glory for the First Man to Die
This Chapter is pending a re-write.
Day by day life always went on and managed to do it normally. I would get up; go to school, come home and end the day by talking with the two people on the internet that I know can hold onto an intelligent conversation for more than a couple minutes.
Unsurprisingly; and through mysticism unknown to me, the conversation would always drift off into the realm of some insanely stupid subject like Jay Leno’s chin. Today however wasn’t one of those days, with the conversation being non-existent we all just logged off.
School was out and senior year would start in September, after which I would finally be free of the evil that is the public education system. OK it really isn’t evil as I had left all my enemies back in California and no one had replaced them. At least I had an actual friend that I could talk to so it wasn’t nearly as awful, but he was my only friend.
This combined to make the months of summer an uneventful period of the year, especially with both of my parents on a cruise around the world for the duration, leaving me here at my request. Stupid me thought something interesting might happen here in the middle of suburban nowhere.
So a man in black slacks and a brown coat holding a strange glowing pen was a bit unexpected, especially considering the he just walked into my backyard while I was mowing the lawn.
“HELLO THERE! How are you good sir, are we able to talk?”
Okay, what do I do that makes it so all the weirdos to notice me? Is it me? Yeah it probably is. I’m a weirdo myself and we seek each other out. It’s in our nature. “Hey, you can’t be back here! Sorry but you’re going to have to leave.”
I turned back to the lawnmower, only to realize that I was done already. Strange since I’d only started a few minutes ago. My ‘weirdo alarm’ was blaring loudly in my head and there was an eerie feeling in my gut. He looked harmless enough though and since I was apparently done with the lawn I figured I could humor him.
“Okay, I guess we can talk. Let me grab a couple of orange soda from inside. Why don’t you take a seat over on one of the patio chairs and I’ll be right back.”
“Excellent! We have a lot to discuss and I’m quite sure it will change your life for the better. Trust me, I’m a doctor.”
“Yeah I’m sure.” Either he’s just a con artist looking for a quick buck or a crooked doctor looking to pawn off a stack of pills on the nearest teenager. But I’m probably being too negative. I grabbed a couple of orange sodas and came back to see him fiddling with the same glowing pen… thing. I sat in the chair next to him and handed him a soda as I twisted the top off of mine.
“Ah, thank you. Cheers.” He managed to down half the bottle and set it next to the chair leg before I had even pulled mine away from my first sip. Impressive, I set my drink down as well and waited for him to start talking. However, he just continued messing with his glowing pen, seemingly ignoring me. Looks like I would be starting the conversation.
“So mister…?”
“Just call me ‘The Doctor’.” Definitely looking more like a drug dealer. He doesn’t want to give a real name, shows up out of nowhere in particular, and is insisting he can change my life for the better
“Okay Doctor, what is it exactly you would like to discuss? Oh, and if you’re going to try and sell me some stupid product that doesn’t work or excess pills from your office, then you can just give me my soda back and get out of my yard right now.”
“Oh no, nothing like that. What I am offering is something else entirely, and might I add, extraordinary. You see, I’m a purveyor of knowledge and chance encounters, for those whom are in the right place at the right time, and you my good sir just so happen to be in said right time at said right place. As such, you get to play a very important part in a very important game.”
“While this seems like a rather interesting proposition Doctor, I’m afraid you’ve lost me from the very beginning. So would you mind explaining that again in terms the average sack of potatoes can understand? You mentioned a game right?”
“I know things, a great deal of them in fact! For instance, you are a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, you hypothesize what the areas in and around Ponyville as well as Canterlot are like, and this is the good part, I know how you can get there. That is, if you’re willing to help me whilst there.”
This conversation was tripped every alarm I have that tells me to walk away, especially with him knowing about my preference in show choices. On the other hand it’s not like I try and hide the fact that I’m a fan of a cartoon show for girls, just that I don’t go blaring it to the world or even telling… well, anyone.
Though, in my defense, it’s not like anyone ever asked. This mention of a game though was weirding me out. If the internet has taught me anything, it’s that when strangers tell you they want to play a game it is generally best to walk away. Quickly. Probably run in fact. Still though, he hasn’t been acting aggressive like he wants to kidnap me for this game of his, so I suppose I could humor him. Especially if it got him out of my backyard that much faster, for all I know this game of his could just be a board game.
“Okay, sure, I’ll go to Equestria. Just like that eh? ‘Poof!’ and I wake up in the Everfree Forest, or next to Fluttershy’s cottage? Oh! Perhaps I’ll go on an adventure and then settle down to live my life in harmony with the ponies happily ever after. Sorry Doctor, but I think you’ve been reading a few to many fanfics. I’ve been there trust me, they are good reading material but some of them just don’t stack up. But unfortunately I can’t see any way that Equestria could be real, though if it was I’d buy my ticket years in advance just for a chance to go.”
“Let’s assume it’s not real, hmm? Then what do you have to fear if I try to send you there? Well barring if I told you to take some pills to get there, but you’d have to be silly to accept that idea! Who knows what a person would do once in that position! However, assuming that Equestria is in fact real, I can tell you that there are already a few who have been sent there.
Why, I know of a griffon and wolf that are having a blast! Or at least they will, or they have been? Hmm, no definitely the first one, seeing as they’re leaving in a few minutes. In fact everyone participating will be leaving today. Unfortunately you’ll be tad late, a bit late actually, well more like quite a bit late, okay your will be stuck in your body for around 13 months or so as the seal works its stuff it will only be a few seconds to you. You’ll make it in time, well time enough anyway. So what do you say? Willing to take a chance on a mad man with a box?”
There is no doubt this guy is crazy. I mean, he even called himself a mad man with a box, whatever that means. Honestly though, what’s the worst that can happen right? Okay, yeah I probably just jinxed myself even by thinking that, but so long as he doesn’t ask me to take any pills or anything it should be fine.
“Let’s get something out of the way first. Assuming I do go to Equestria, what will everyone here think? Will they just assume I’ve died? Can I at least leave a note or something?”
“I can’t tell you what will happen in regards to what those who you leave behind will think and notes are against the rules. That’s just the way these things work I’m afraid. If it were up to me then I would let you at least leave a note, however I’m just a player in the game. Now, time for the important question. When you arrive, and this is assuming you would like to join, you need to choose what you will arrive as. Tell me what you want and I’ll try to match you up as best as I can”
Hmm, I get to choose what I wind up as? This could be cool, assuming it’s not all a con. Gotta choose carefully though. This would be my new body and I’ll have to live with it.
“Alright, I’m terrified of heights so dragon and griffons are out, and I refuse to not have fingers, so no ponies. Not even magic can sway that decision. Hmm, maybe a diamond dog or something but faster. I’m more speed based, not really into hand to hand so something like a diamond dog but with less meat on it. Plus I do enjoy being an omnivore.
“Okay, so let me get this down because I can’t choose exactly what you get if you generalize too much. You want a kind of diamond dog that is fast and on the lighter side. Less weight on you, correct?”
“Correct”
“Alright! Hold still now.” Saying this, he stood up abruptly spilling his soda and pointed his weird pen at my face, the crazy thing still glowing.
“Whoa, dude what is that thing anyway?! Don’t point it at my fa-“The pen tip glowed a bright green and emitted a loud buzzing, then the world went black. Oh man, I didn’t even get to finish my soda.