Fiction

by Dreamshadow


Chapter 1

Originally this was just the Pinkie part, something I pulled off of my old Google docs stuff. But I felt like doing additional ones and sorta just went for it. I hope some people enjoy it.
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Pinkie
“You are fictional” I told Pinkie Pie. She gasped in response, “REALLY! Do the ponies reading me like me? Does the author manage to make my parties seem as fun as they really are? Has anypony learned important lessons on parties and optimism, and laughter, and not being mean grumpy meanie pants from me?”
I looked at her a little confused “Yes” I said, “but aren’t you worried?”
“WORRIED, why would I be worried, this is like a whole new crowd of ponies I’ve been having a party for, and I didn’t even know it!” Pinkie Pie responded. “Spreading cheer to thousands of ponies that I never even knew existed... I’m so HAPPY!” Pinkie Pie proceeded to hug me.
“But what about free will?” I asked her
“Oh silly, just because somepony writes about it doesn’t mean you don’t exist. Books are based off of things that happen, hasn’t Twilight told you?”
I looked at her and thought about some of the things I had read. “But what if somepony wrote you doing something you didn’t want to do? What if the author made you hurt Rainbow Dash?”
“Thats silly” Pinkie said, still smiling widely, “I would never hurt Rainbow Dash, not even when I was really hurt and angry and Pinkamina came out. If somepony wrote that it wouldn’t be about me anymore! If somepony was writing about you would YOU start worrying so much that you went crazy and started hurting your friends and misusing baking equipment? I don’t think so.”
I thought about this, happy at how easily my favorite little pink pony had solved the philosophical issue of fate. “Wait! I asked, how did you know it was about baking?” Pinkie just smiled at me and walked through the screen boundary. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was standing in a cartoonist’s panel.
I slowly chuckled to myself, found the boundary of the box I was in, and boldly stepped through.

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Twilight
This had not gone as I had expected last time. But it was a pleasant surprise. I tried again. “Twilight Sparkle, you are a cartoon character.” Twilight did a spit take. “REALLY? You need to tell me the phasic dimensional co-ordinates of the plane that created that cartoon. I could learn so much about what kind of people are seeing Equestria.” She looked excited, then nervous.
“Do they understand how to pierce the dimensional state wall? You are here, that suggests they have some knowledge of interplanar magicks. Does this mean we should expect more visitors? Do they understand friendship? Are they a threat to the Princesses?”
I backed away from the assault of questions, as surprised by this take as I had been by Pinkie’s.
“I don’t quite understand how I got here actually, I’m just an amatuer author who likes doing thought experiments” I informed the purple pony. “Some of the religious reading I have done suggests our sages can exist in multiple planes, and we can lucid dream, but I don’t think any of us can bring our bodies to Equestria, otherwise you would have quite a lot of us there.” I elaborated.
“As to friendship, most of the time humans have lots of friends and treat them well. But sometimes they screw up, and forget what is important.” Twilight nodded “Everypony screws up, I’m glad to hear that your kind isn’t too different from ours.” I consider correcting her, but I don’t know how I would go about doing it.
“Well then, if you’ll excuse me I have a report on friendship to write to the Princess, friendship and interplanar divination.” With that she disappeared in a purple flash.

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Fluttershy
“Hello” I say. “EEP!” Fluttershy responds. Should I really do this? She is so fragile. She is shaking a little, not looking at me at first. Slowly she looks up and sees me. “Oh, I’m sorry, you startled me. I’m Fluttershy, what are you? Do you have a name?” Her legs are still a little wobbly, but she seems to have gotten over her shock at my appearance.
“I am a human, my name is Dreamshadow.” I informed her. “Oh and what do humans do? Do you have a favorite food? Are you healthy?” I found her concern to be quite adorable, like most things about her. “Humans do... just about everything we can imagine. My favorite food is Tortellini, and yes I am doing quite well.” I informed her. “Anyhow, to get to business, I am here to inform you that you are being watched for entertainment from across the planes by my kind.” Interesting how our perspective on them has changed, we were supposed to inform them that they are fictional.
Fluttershy shrunk and suddenly seemed to be looking for a camera. She had an enormous blush on her face. “Oh.. Oh my goodness do they see, do they see when I” She made a meep sound then promptly passed out. I covered her with a blanket then moved on.

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Applejack
I decided to be straight up here. “Hey AJ, I’ve been going around telling your friends that they are TV characters where I come from.” Applejack marched up and looked me in the eye angrily, “And why in tarnation would you say a thing like that?” She looked ready to buck me.
“Because it’s true.” She held my gaze for a few seconds. I always felt awkward holding someones gaze, but with her I knew I should. “Ah okay then” she said calming down. “Glad yer not up to things like most o’ the fancy magic creatures that show up.”
“So... you aren’t concerned about being on TV?” I asked. She blinked, “Ah don’t know about TV, and I don’t care, I got some apples to buck, just stay outta trouble.”
That was straightforward. Onward.

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Rarity
“Rarity, you were drawn and written by someone named Lauren Faust.” I informed her. She smiled immensely, “Oh I’ve become a celebrity without even knowing it. How glamorous.” She gasped. “Supposing she did a good job, oh PLEASE tell me she got my Coiffure correct.”

I scratched my head and looked at her, “Yes, yes she did, and you are quite popular for it.” She looked happy enough to explode. “Oh will this bring sales in for my dresses.”

My work is done here. “Oh somehow I don’t think the people viewing this art are in need of pony dresses.” I said as I walked away. One more to go.

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Rainbow Dash
I decided to go back to my original line. “Rainbow Dash, you are fictional.” I announced to the polychromatic pegasus. “I’m WHAT, you wanna run that by me again pal?” She asked getting mere inches away from my face, and looking even angrier than AJ had. Oh no, one of them is actually offended. “Um, fictional” I said sheepishly.
“What the HAY is that supposed to mean?” She asked. “You know, fictional, like in books bu...”
“ARE YOU CALLING ME AN EGGHEAD? Because just because there are some really good books out there does not make me an egghead.” She was still right in my face, I noted that her breath smelled surprisingly good. Ahem
“No no I mean in a fictional book like Daring Do!” I corrected “You are like Daring Do. In that you are fictional.”
Rainbow Dash immediately calmed down and began to smile. Holy Hay these ponies switch emotions quickly. “Hehe, thanks, I’d like to think I’m like Daring Do. I mean, of course I AM like Daring Do being the most awesome and quick of Pegasi!” She extolled as she held a hoof to her chest.
“Your pretty cool for an egghead who uses big words and junk. Wanna get lunch?” She asked. “Sure why not.” I responded.