//------------------------------// // Forth Call: Princess Cadence Wants Answers // Story: Equestria's Number One Hotline // by grey mane //------------------------------// It had been about a year since ALL4FUN started up and in that time they had gathered a few constant callers. Celestia had her fun and slowly started having simple conversations with Zuul, Luna had become quite the gamer keeping Aqua Velvet on her hooves with questions and challenges. Honestly the ponies in charge started to question who was the better gamer, Velvet or Luna? As the month went by even Shining Armor had started calling more and more about his need to prove himself to his wife, poor stallion should just toss in the towel and admit that some things he just can’t do. And though it was entertaining for those around her, Merigold was glad that she was finally rid of him as her main caller. Many of her main callers now worked in car shops and need either a few quick fixes or a part they had a hard time finding, when it came to that she often refered them to scrap yards for the interchangeable parts. Shinning however, finally got to talk to Crosswire. Their last conversation was rather funny, “Okay are you looking at the exposed wire?” “Well yes I am, but shouldn’t I have cut the power?” He sounded worried of anything that could happen. Crosswire however knew, or at least claimed he knew, what he was doing. “Look you want this fixed or not?” He heard a groaning yes from the other end of the line, “Alright then, now what you need to do is touch the wire.” Hearing a zap and a bang from the other end Crosswire gave a hum. Crossing something off his list he then made a small note, “Okay so it’s not that one, well good news Mr. Armor that’s one down. We have five more to check. Although it sounds to me like that one is a little hot, you’ll need to mark down which one that is so we can fix that later.” The other end was silent, “Shining Armor?” He waited only to hear a faint groaning, “Come on Mr. Armor don’t sleep on me now… well you can I won’t mind, you’ll just prove your wife right.” It had been a rough three weeks since Shining last called wanting to talk with the carpenter, honestly he could take a shop class… but then again where’s the fun in that? This morning was rather entertaining for one young mare as her phone rang, “Thank you for calling ALL4FUN, my name is Velvetrose is there anything I may be able to help you with?” “I’m sorry but I just found this number hidden under one of the phones in my home, and I was wondering what it was about. My aunts had mentioned it a few times but I hadn’t thought much of it till now.” Her tone was somber yet had a hint of being worried from the mare who answered the phone, “I just need to know, what has my husband been calling this number for?” “Well under normal circumstances we are not allowed to disclose what our customers call in for.” She heard a worried groan from the other end causing Rose to look around before covering her mouth to whisper, “But if you give me his name I’ll see what I can do for you.” She sighed knowing her answers were right at her fingertips yet questioned herself if she wanted them, “His name is Shinning Armor.” “Oh him?” Cadence let out a bewildered huh in response to Velvetrose’s outburst, “Ya he calls in every few days or so, at first he was trying to fix a Pinto or something but then was told he should get a ‘76 Impala.” “That explains why he finally decided to get rid of that old hunk of junk, but he didn’t get the Impala.” Princess Cadence went silent for a moment as she let out an annoyed a sigh, “He got…” “You’re kidding me…” The two mares shared in an embarrassed laugh over the matter, “So he got the… well it is a nice van to have just on looks alone.” Cadence chuckled at the thought, “It is, but I thought he would have gotten something more like the Pinto.” For the time being the two of them chatted about the unborn filly that was being expected, “So what has he been calling for recently? I know he’s been doing a few projects around the castle but… something just doesn’t sit right with me. The other day I came home and a few of the walls looked like he was thrown into them. The guards won’t say anything to me about it.” Looking at the call records from Shining she looked at the listed reasons, “Oh he’s been talking to Crosswire, one of Discord’s foals, he’s our professional electrician. From what I see here he’s been calling about some rewiring. He requested that we not say a word of it to… oh… oh my.” Cadence started laughing at those last few words, “Let me guess, it was me. I knew he couldn’t do it and kept telling him to call somepony.” “Well clearly he took your advice.” The two of them laughed at the irony of it all and how it came to be, “So while we are talking is there anything else you want to chat about?” “I was hoping I could talk to you more about who else Shining has been talking to. Last thing I want or need is him trying to dig a moat because some pony talked him into it.” Groaning as she rubbed her temple Cadence sighed, “Or try to dig a pool.” Looking around she hummed a little before pulling up her call logs, “Well I don’t know who all he’s been talking to, but I can tell you whom I’ve transferred him to the last couple of times.” Hearing Cadence thank her over the phone her jaw slowly dropped, “Oh no… not her.” “Who is it that would make you say that?” “You were worried he would dig a hole for a pool right?” The line was quiet for a moment before she sighed, “Please tell me he didn’t.” “He may be out somewhere digging a hole for just that, or a hot tub. The pony he spoke to yesterday builds them in his spare time.” Letting out a whimper she squeaked into her words, “I’m sorry.” “It’s alright, but why did he want to talk to that pony? Why not one of the few he was already talking with?” Cadence couldn’t help but ponder what was going on. “We~ll…” She started hoping the Princess would understand, “every pony that works here, comes in on a set number of days. And are let off to relax and do as they please, or if it comes down to it they are let go for the day if something happens.” “Something as in medical or accident?” “Yes, very much so. And as it happens Merigold our mechanic was out yesterday and won’t be back till next week.” “So she’s on vacation then. That’s understandable, sometimes I wish I could get a break from my husband.” The two mares laughed at the thought. “Yes she is, and he would have talked to Crosswire yesterday but he’s…” Looking over she saw him floating upside down with his legs in the lotus position. Humming as he floated past her with a smile, “I am one with the cheese as it is one with the universe. I am all and all is one. Come and join me as we eat cake, drink punch, and purge this world with fire.” “he’s not in the best state of mind for anypony to talk to right now.” As he continued to float past her she soon heard a crashing sound. Looking over she saw all seven of her bosses trying to hold him down, “Get his legs… GET HIS LEGS!!” “How can somepony so small and frail be so damn hard to pin down!?” One of them shouted as they pulled out a taser. Hearing the crackling sound she watched as they gave him a quick shock, “But with any luck he should be alright to talk to by the end of the day.” “Fear me for I serve the almighty Cthulhu!” “Hit him again damn it!” Sighing as she ducked down she turned back to her book, “Maybe longer than that. Any ways, if you haven’t seen him at all today then you may want to make sure he hasn’t bought anything yet.” Hearing the door shut on the other end Velvetrose feared it may be too late, “Honey I’m home, and guess what I got.” “We’re good, he got baby formula and…” The line was silent for a moment before Cadence let out a disgruntled groan, “I’ll call you back.” Before Velvetrose could hear the click of the receiver she heard Cadence shouting at Shining Armor, “WHY DID WE NEED A SHOVEL!?”