“What.”
Of all of the things he could have received… of all the letters he could have gotten in the mail… out of every single unthinkable and unimaginable circumstance that could have happened…
This was, by far, the one he expected the least.
Professor Draco, the Professor of Elemental Magic at the Canterlot School of Gifted Unicorns, was not expecting this in the slightest. Of course, that’s not to say that he didn’t know he was receiving a Co-professor. He most certainly knew that. The piece of information that his adopted sister Celestia forgot to mention was who he was working with: a dragon.
“Does she not realize that her entire school is basically a five-star dragon buffet?” The gray stallion shook his head in exasperation, his black and white mane waving wildly. “She has to know what danger bringing a dragon in to teach is for her students, right?” Draco continued his frantic pacing across the floor of his soon-to-be shared classroom. Celestia had told him that his co-worker would be arriving around 12 o’clock. It was 11:55.
“His name…” Draco scratched his head softly. “What was his name… It started with a “Q” if I remember correctly. Professor King?” He shook his head. “No, that’s a ‘k,’ not a ‘q.’ Well, I suppose I’ll see soon enough.” As Draco made what was probably his fifth rotation around the length of the classroom, he heard a knock at the door.
“I suppose that’s him…There’s no sense in being a bad host, even if you’re hosting a dragon…” Draco made his way slowly to the dark brown mahogany door, trepidation clear cut on his muzzle. The horn that he’s had ever since he was a colt lit up with its familiar purple aura, allowing him to manipulate the brass doorknob. Slowly, very slowly, he pulled open the door revealing his new co-worker… or so he thought.
“Celestia?” Draco’s eyes widened so much he thought he would have been able to see in a pitch black room. Why was she here of all times? Didn’t he have a fellow professor to greet?
“Good morning, Professor Draco. I see you’ve been… quite preoccupied in getting ready for the arrival of our newest professor.” Celestia looked around the room, particularly at the grooves worn into the floor by Draco’s pacing. “I do like what you’ve done with the place. Nothing says ‘Welcome to Canterlot!’ like an empty room with a worried-to-death professor.” She paused for a moment. Suddenly, she brought gold-clad hoof up to gently smack herself in the muzzle. “Oh, buck. I forgot to give Luna the registration papers.” Celestia sighed softly in defeat.
“Celestia! Language, please! I know that you run the school and all, but what if the teachers heard you talk like that?” Draco knew that his adopted sister had a bit of a foul mouth, but never did he think she would let it show like that. Well, unless cake was involved, but that was a different matter entirely.
“Oh, come off of it, Draco.” She waved a hoof absentmindedly in his direction. “Besides, you’re the only one in the room. What’s the harm in that?”
“I’d rather not run the risk of cursing within a private school, for fear of who heard me.” Draco looked quickly from side to side, as if he were searching for some invisible eavesdropper hidden somewhere in the room. He moved over to Celestia’s side and brought a hoof up to the side of his mouth, whispering, “What if he had heard you?”
Celestia raised a single eyebrow. “And by ‘he’ I suppose you mean your new colleague?”
“Who else would I be referring to?” Draco sighed forlornly. “I… I just hope you know what you’re doing with this. Bringing a dragon to teach at a school of ponies? Many thought you had gone mad, you know.”
Celestia pointed her nose to the ceiling in defiance. “Let them think what they will think. It is no business of theirs to determine who I allow to teach in my school and who I do not. Quite frankly, I think a dragon would be a nice change of pace for the place.You know, increase diversity, and all that jazz.”
“Is that why you invited Changelings to take over the administrative office?”
“In my defense,” she replied stiffly, “I had eaten too much cake that day. There was no way I could have made a logical decision in that situation.”
Draco levelled a deadpan stare at her. “Uh huh.” That incident wasn’t the first time cake had impaired her sense of judgement.
“Honestly!” she cried out. “How was I supposed to know that they would just try to siphon all of the love that they could from the school? A great, generous, compassionate heart like mine could never refuse the needs of some-”
“There was a filly who asked for some of your birthday cake. You said no and ate the whole thing all by yourself.” Draco recalled the scene vividly. A six-foot-tall white Alicorn diving headfirst into a five-tier cake, demolishing it in the process. The image still plagued his nightmares, despite the continual intervention of Luna.
“Well would you look at the time! Sadly, it’s time for me to depart, dear brother of mine.” As Celestia made her way to the exit, Draco focused his attention the clock that resided behind his desk in the front of the classroom.
It read 11:59.
Draco sighed.
“Discord, show yourself. If you’re going to mess with reality, do it to where ponies won’t notice it immediately. Try something other than stopping time, will you?”
Moments after Draco spoke, a large cloud of confetti exploded from the middle of the classroom, revealing within it a tall, lithe creature formed of mismatched animal parts, such as a lion’s paw, an eagle’s talon, a goat’s hoof, and a raptor’s leg. This creature, a draconequus, was the only one of its kind, as Draco remembered from his studies of Equestrian history.
“You rang?” The creature, Discord as Draco had called him, pulled a multicolored and antique telephone out of thin air and proceeded to dial some nonsensical number. After holding the phone up to his ear for a couple of seconds, Discord hung it up and banished it to whatever dimension he retrieved it from. “Oh, come now Draco. You don’t look so happy.” Discord pinched Draco’s cheeks between his fingers like a grandmother would her grandchildren. “Didn’t you miss me?”
Draco glared at the trickster through half-lidded eyes. “I missed the peace and quiet I had when you were gone. Not so much you, though.”
“Ouch.” Discord recoiled as if he had been struck. “Your cold, cruel, callous words wound me far worse than any weapon could, my dear friend.”
Draco sighed in annoyance. Couldn’t he have a break from all the madness? “If I were truly a dear friend to you, you would let me have this final bit of respite before I meet the new professor.”
“Ah, yes. The new dragon in town.” Discord nodded sagely. “Speaking of him, he’s coming down the hallway. Have fun!” With that, he disappeared as quickly as he came.
“Don’t be afraid, Draco.” Draco gasped. With the sudden appearance of Discord, Draco had forgotten all about Celestia. “Have faith in yourself, brother. I certainly do.” She turned back to look at Draco and gave him a reassuring smile. She trotted out the door and down the hallway, out of sight.
“I guess it’s time to meet him… Discord was right. The new professor is definitely on his way to the class. I can hear his footsteps. He sounds… huge.” Draco took a long, deep breath. “I don’t think I can handle this. How am I going to keep order in a classroom alongside a giant dragon who I know nothing about? Come to think of it, does Celestia even know where he’s from?” Just then, Draco heard a knock at the door.
“I don’t think that’s Celestia this time,” Draco sighed. “It’s now or never. Let’s just… get this over with. Maybe he won’t be as bad as I think he will. Who knows? He might be a very nice, very civil dragon.” He paused as the knocking resumed. “I should get the door.”
And with that, Draco strode forward to door, surrounded the doorknob with his violet magic, and pulled.