Dear Diary,
Having Mr. Cups did not help Adagio sleep Tuesday night, and singing lullabies through the phone to her didn't help the night after. I know that because she always answered 'Yes' when I whisper-asked if she was still awake. That she answered at all made that pretty clear, actually, but that's not the issue here!
I'm running out of ideas that I can actually do, and I want to fix this for her! More than that, I want to fix this for her. I'm her girlfriend.
Something about writing the word had Fluttershy stopping to doodle happily on the side of the page for about twenty minutes.
I'm her girlfriend, I should be able to make her happy, to be there to help her when she needs me. Now, some crazy little part of me is thinking that if I'm not the one that helps, someone else will eventually come along, solve it for her, and I'll have to surrender Adagio to them, and I know that's a selfish, stupid thing to think about, but it
Stopping for a moment, Fluttershy took a deep breath and focused on the most important thing right now.
Singing for Adagio in person helped her sleep the time she got sick, so... I mean, I thought it did, but she took a nap in the library too, and I didn't so much as hum. Was it the lullaby, or something else about the situation? Come to think of it, I was there with her for quite a while, but if I can't guarantee that I'll always be there with her (as romantic as that would be), I can't let her restful sleep depend on me. I can't be her teddy bear any more than I can dance for her every night.
Rarity said it was probably stress. I've done a little research on insomnia, and that is usually part of it. I know she's upset about her voice, how she can't give her songs the quality they deserve, how she and the others can't (publicly) make any friends, and I know this started before we had a real relationship, but
More doodling occurred after she trailed off on that thought.
but having to keep it secret probably isn't helping. The same goes for her not being allowed to tease anyone but me; I know it didn't start this, but it can't be making anything better. Should I tell her I don't mind? I would mind, but
Slightly more scribbly doodles followed.
No, no, she even told me she'd sleep better knowing I wasn't upset. The very first time the sirens came to the school, I thought they were all mean, horrible, selfish people. Maybe they were, but who's selfish now, Diary? She loves me. She loves me and she doesn't want me to be upset, but now I'm upset because I love her too and I don't want her to have to deal with this for the rest of her life!
Wait a minute... Adagio used to be a very mean, horrible, selfish person, right? I mean, I think she had her reasons, considering what happened with her own home scapegoating her and the others to save their own scales, but... does she think she deserves this? When Sunset was still having nightmares, she told us she thought it was just supposed to be that way; that bad people had to suffer indefinitely because they had done something wrong. We talked to her about it, and the nightmares stopped when she let those feelings go.
I have an idea.
If I can make her feel safe and loved, break through every bad feeling that keeps her up at night, maybe that would be enough? Maybe, if I can bring her to a state in which she feels warm, comfortable, and happy, she'll stay there from then on? Sunset was in a bad place and got out, and she was okay from there, would it be the same for Adagio?
Tomorrow morning, I'll ask her how she feels about coming to my house for a nice, peaceful dinner. And maybe even a sleepover! Just the two of us!!
...For cuddling purposes
nowaitthatstillsounds
I think it would be good for h
we fell asleep together in the librar
well, okay, she fell asleep in th
but, it could really
it might be good fo
I just want to hold herOh, darnit, I'm just gonna take a chance on this one! I mean, I still don't think I'd be ready for anything... heavy... but, just talking, cuddling YES, CUDDLING! and sleeping together should be fine.
But, first, I need to clear the idea with Mom. I'm sure she'll agree, but if I survive her meeting my girlfriend, Adagio might finally be able to rest easy.
---
Saturday evening, Adagio walked to Fluttershy's house on her own, her heart beating just a little faster than usual. Idly running a hand over the little bag hanging at her side, she distantly wondered if she could convince herself that she'd forgotten something so she could run home and put this off for just a little longer. Unfortunately, she'd done that twice before even leaving her room, and knew that everything she needed for an overnight stay was already in the bag. Even if it wasn't, something in the back of her mind told her that Fluttershy would bend over backwards to accommodate her, so the only way was forward.
It only seemed fitting that she wear one of the outfits Fluttershy had helped her find; a loose, soft-pink dress with a ruffly skirt stopping just under her knees, cinched with a thick, black belt with a gold (or at least, the right shade of yellow to shine like gold) buckle. She also wore a thin, purple jacket (or was it a baggy vest with sleeves?), simple, red heels, and of course the bow Fluttershy had given her. Whether or not to wear dark eyeliner had been quite the conundrum, but she eventually decided that a thin layer of yellow make-up about the same shade as her own skin would work for one night.
Her first instinct, of course, had been to wear something tight, revealing, or both, but the mental image of meeting the family (even if it was only her mother) that raised such a sweet, innocent -well, mostly, but the times she wasn't were probably my fault,- girl while dressed like that made her feel like walking garbage. This wasn't accounting for the chances that she'd be barred from the house and Fluttershy forbidden to ever see her again if she was lucky.
When she got to the door, Adagio took a deep breath.
This is it. Fluttershy's house. I'm here for a pleasant evening together and to meet her biological family. And, since this is to double as a sleepover, are we to engage in Girl Talk? Given her long-time friendships with comparatively normal girls, she probably has more practice than I do, but maybe I can let her pick the topics. Then again, if this is her way of saying she wants to take things further, what's the proper etiquette for-
She was startled when the door flung open and a tall, weighty woman popped out to grab her by the arm. "Oh, for goodness' sake, come in already!"
Adagio was pulled into the house before she could say anything, and the next thing she knew, she was face-to-face with what had to be Fluttershy's mother. Mrs. Shy clasped her hands together as she smiled down at her.
"Oooh, I saw a little of you the other night on the doorstep, but you're even prettier in good lighting!"
Uncertain amounts of approval gained. So far so good.
"Thank you," she replied with an amicable smile, "this might be a silly question, but is Fluttershy here?"
Mrs. Shy tittered. "She's still getting ready, but last I checked she was down to semifinals on what to wear. I'll see if I can get her to make up her mind a little quicker." Adagio had barely opened her mouth to say 'thank you' when Fluttershy's mother turned and hollered over her shoulder. "HONEY, YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HERE! IF YOU DON'T PICK SOMETHING TO WEAR SOON, YOU'LL HAVE TO EAT DINNER IN YOUR UNDIES!!"
The distant, but audible sound of "EEEP!!" made Adagio giggle.
Ohh, Sweetie.
Mrs. Shy smiled at her. "She's told me a bit about you, but the full Qn'A is gonna have to wait until I don't have food cookin'."
It would be soon, but until then, maybe she could make herself useful. "Might you need any help? I've been improving my culinary skills, as it happens."
"Ohh, I'll take care of it. You just sit tight and Fluttershy should be down soon."
And with that, she headed to the kitchen, leaving Adagio to idly survey her surroundings. Fluttershy's house was a pleasant place, pictures and paintings depicting various takes on themes of nature framed in predominantly round, light frames of soft-tinted colors on the walls, small, cutesy animal knick-knacks on shelves and tables, floral-patterned upholstery, and a general air that made her think of warm cookies and lullabies. Whether the carpet being green to evoke a subconscious sense of walking on grass (even if it felt completely different under one's feet) was deliberate or not, she couldn't say.
Quite a reach from your own home, isn't it?
Shut up. I've baked cookies a few times too.
Shaking the thought off, she walked into what she guessed was the living room. They didn't have a massive television with four or five different machines plugged into it, nor a snack hammock anywhere to be seen, but there was a couch and chairs centered around a table. Making some slightly abstract calculations in her head, she determined that the couch was the most guest-like place to sit.
She was in a nice house.
Wearing a nice dress.
To have dinner with a nice girl.
And her (apparently)nice mother.
All while hiding the not-so-nice bags under her eyes, her not-so-nice past, and her usual, not-so-nice personality as much as possible.
Sweetie? Why did you want me to do this?
Something about making her feel safe, about feeling completely welcome and secure, but she wasn't sure how dressing up and meeting Fluttershy's mother was supposed to accomplish that. She couldn't think on it long before being startled by a fuzzy sensation brushing against her bare leg. Looking down revealed the culprit to be Fluttershy's pet rabbit, which immediately made her smile.
"Hello there," she said while leaning down to scoop him up and hold him in front of her, "miss me?"
He answered by hopping to her shoulder and nuzzling her face, particularly the long, fluffy locks of hair hanging by that side. Adagio's barely-controlled giggles continued as he burrowed and weaved through her hair to nestle against the back of her neck, which, while warm and cuddly, was starting to give her squirrel flashbacks.
"Alright, you, come out of there."
Reaching through her own curls, she gently grasped his soft little body, but he squirmed out of her grip and fled to the opposite shoulder of the one he'd started on, then back into her hair when she tried to seize him again. Adagio found herself trying to catch Angel as he wriggled around in her hair for the better part of a minute, giggling not because of tickling contact (indeed, he wasn't even touching her skin through most of this), but an odd, genuine sense of amusement at the tiny animal weaving through her curls. Before long, she found herself letting him slip away on purpose just to keep the game going, but as she giggled and reached through her own hair with both hands, a voice made her abruptly freeze in place.
"Um, Adagio...?"
Feeling her face heat up, Adagio turned her head to see Fluttershy, her hair done up in a bun, in an outfit she recognized. Like her own clothes, it was something they picked up during the mall date; a long, sleeveless, yellow dress with a single slit going almost all the way up to her thigh, light-green, translucent stockings similar in shade to her usual skirt beneath it, and yellow, open-toed shoes with high, thick heels on her feet. Fluttershy had apparently settled on a more formal look before coming down, but while she was visibly doubting herself (again), she pulled through by instead focusing on Adagio with a wavering smile.
"...Hi!"
Adagio slowly drew her hands from her hair, resting them at her sides. "Hello, Sweetie."
"Um... Wh-what were you do-"
And then cute, white bunny ears sprung from the top of Adagio's head, making Fluttershy trail off as her jaw dropped. Her brain started working again when Angel fully stood up on Adagio's head and waved at her.
Oh... For a second there, I thought she was wearing a bunny suit under her clothes. That would be... strange...
But not unwelcome?
HUSH!!
Trying not to think too hard about it, she smiled sheepishly. "So, um... a-am I overdressed?"
Gently lifting Angel from her head and setting him on her lap, Adagio giggled. "It's your house, Sweetie, so I'd think that's up to you." Her eyes slowly traced over Fluttershy before she winked. "I know I said this at the mall," she added with a soft smile, "but you look lovely."
Folding one arm over the other in front of her, Fluttershy felt herself blush. "Th-thank you!"
With Fluttershy standing there nervously for another minute, Adagio tentatively brushed aside her uncertainties about offering someone a seat in their own home and patted the sofa cushion beside her, smiling as Fluttershy sat down. "So... how was your day?"
Giggling, Fluttershy again donned that Magic of Friendship™ smile. "It was fine, thank you." In light of Adagio's unsuccessful massage treatment, she wasn't sure about mentioning her spa date with Rarity, even if she might have still been curled up into a ball of nervousness on her bed without it. "What about you?"
Idly scratching an appreciative Angel under his chin, Adagio shrugged, unaware of the warm smile she was wearing herself. "I told Ria and Nata that I'd be here tonight. When the dust settled and it was clear that you were not 'taking me away forever,' (this was especially silly on Nata's part, as she's been to Rarity's multiple times), each of them offered some advice and wished me well."
"A-advice?"
She chuckled ominously. "Well, Ria just suggested that I not break your mind. I think she liked spending time with you, if her thinly-veiled concern for your well-being was any indication."
Once upon a time, Fluttershy had been fairly certain there was no chance that the grumpiest of the Dazzlings would ever tolerate her presence, let alone like her. It was the day Aria had practically threatened her over witnessing the fireball exchange with Adagio in that hallway, to be exact. Of course, she'd once had similar thoughts about Adagio herself, and look at them now! It really amazed her how much things could change. "That was sweet of her."
Adagio giggled. "Yes, but try not to say that in her company." Glancing away, she grinned coyly. "Or do, her reactions are always delightful." Fluttershy's 'Oh, you' face was nice too. "On that note," she said with a wink, "it's because of Ria's suggestion that I won't tell you Nata's." Equally enjoyable and predictable was Fluttershy getting all flustered, but what she said took Adagio by surprise.
"Did... d-did it involve keys?" No stranger to enjoying reactions herself, Fluttershy quietly cherished the sight of Adagio going wide-eyed, even gaining a small, but rosy blush!
"How did you...?"
Of course, her own embarrassment rapidly worsened, but not to the point that she couldn't speak through her sheepish little smile. "Rarity may have given me some advice too."
Connecting the dots between their (apparently short-sighted) friends, the two giggled scandalously.
In this happy little moment together, Fluttershy noticed something that simultaneously filled her with hope and made her wonder if tonight's visit/sleepover had been made unnecessary somehow. "Um, y-your eyes, are-"
Adagio quickly leaned in to silence her with a kiss. When she didn't hear a sound from anywhere around her, she glanced around to confirm that Fluttershy's mother wasn't close enough to hear when she quietly addressed her blushing girlfriend. "Yellow make-up, didn't want to risk sending the wrong messages, but this should be fine for just tonight."
Fluttershy frowned, but kept her voice down too. "Wrong messages?"
Adagio's mouth curled into some kind of uncomfortable, lopsided frown. "When I realized I was coming over to your house to meet your family... It, I mean, I know that I can't just do whatever I want and expect-..." Her lips twitched a few times as she visibly pieced her thoughts together, made no easier by Fluttershy's look of concern. "I wanted to look nice, presentable, wholesome, and no matter what I wore, neither heavy, obvious make-up nor dark circles under my eyes were that." To her immediate surprise, Fluttershy managed to grin.
Truthfully, she was terrified, albeit for different reasons, but she had to keep her spirits up if she wanted this to work. "I think it'll be okay." The doubting stare had been anticipated, what with how CHS as a whole responded to Adagio's unfiltered personality, but there was something Adagio probably didn't know here. "It's a normal thing for couples to meet each others' families, and part of the reason I wanted you to meet my mom is because, believe it or not, I think you two will get along pretty well."
A skeptical eyebrow was raised as Adagio crossed her arms, but the look on her face bore more worry than suspicion. "And why is that?"
Fluttershy smiled sheepishly. "Because like you, even if she embarrasses me on a near-daily basis, she's kind, patient, understanding, and I know she loves me." She was rewarded with Adagio turning a lovely shade of crimson. Fluttershy giggled. "Her sense of humor is a lot like yours, too."
"Hmph," hmph'd Adagio, the burn in her cheeks no weaker as a little smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She even made a show of keeping her arms crossed in mock indignance. "I see, you only fell for me because I remind you of your mother."
Good-naturedly rolling her eyes, Fluttershy gently gripped Adagio by her jacket to pull her in close. "I have plenty of reasons." Before any reply other than a look of surprise and a brighter blush could be offered, she pulled her in the rest of the way for a long, explorative kiss. Pleased noises were heard and lovely sensations were felt, but even with her confidence reaching somewhere near orbit, Fluttershy still forced herself to pull away when her brain started getting fuzzy.
"I was right," smirked Adagio, her hands having moved to a shoulder and the small of Fluttershy's back, "you are bolder by night."
"Golly," said Mrs. Shy, startling both into seizing up where they sat, "I sure hope so! She probably ain't gonna get very far in the sack otherwise!"
Months ago, Fluttershy would have turned to stone right then. She'd have turned to stone as though held in the gaze of a gorgon, then crumbled into itty-bitty pieces. The Fluttershy of today, however, only froze for a few seconds, even if her face had practically caught fire! "Uhm... Hi mom."
"Hi, Honey-Bun! When you're done in here, dinner is just about ready, so be sure not to have dessert too soon!"
That last part made her lock up again for a second, but Fluttershy managed to squeak out an "Oh-kay" as her mother went to prepare the table. Adagio, for her part, had taken the whole thing pretty well too, in that she only sat perfectly still, eyes wide and unblinking, unwilling to dare glance over her shoulder until after Mrs. Shy had left. After that point, she composed herself quite quickly.
Huh, she thought to herself, I wasn't reprimanded. Not even given a warning.
Was it coming later? Perhaps she'd be pulled aside and threatened when not in Fluttershy's sight? Of course, looking at her smiling Sweetie and remembering what she'd said, Adagio drifted toward cautious optimism. "Um, so," she said with a mildly abashed grin, "before we go, should I...?"
Gently taking hold of one of Adagio's hands, Fluttershy gave her a soft, loving smile. "Please be yourself, or nobody will be happy in the end."
Feeling herself blush, Adagio returned the smile and gave Fluttershy's hands a little squeeze back. "Right. Shall we?"
That squeeze must have triggered something, because for a split second, it got hard to think. "Sh-shall we what?" Coming up with an answer in nearly the same instant, the rate of her her heartbeat spiked. "D-dessert?!"
"Dinner," Adagio said with a smirk, "the one you invited me for?" She chuckled as Fluttershy took on the hues of a huggable, sweating stop-sign. "And to think," she said while reaching up to boop Fluttershy's nose, "I've been worried about my behavior. Naughty girl."
"I, buh-you, I-I, th-that, but-"
Adagio did her best not to cackle madly, but she did laugh as she lifted Angel Bunny from her lap, put him on her shoulder, stood up, and followed her nose to find the kitchen and/or dining room. "Come on, Sweetie."
Waiting until her legs stopped being jelly, Fluttershy sat where she was as she watched Adagio, particularly the way her dress clung to her hips.
"Ooh, she looks like a wild one," whispered Fluttershy's surprisingly sneaky mother from just behind her, "have you tried pinching her caboose?"
"MOM!!"