“Alright you pigeons, you dodos!” Rainbow Dash hollered, walking down the short line of alicorns. She wore her coach’s whistle, her coach’s hat (reversed so as not to interfere with the horn) and a scowl. “Welcome to Flight Camp, or as I like to call it, your worst nightmare! By the end of this week you will be bruised, you will be begging for mercy, but you will be in the air. Rookies, sound off!”
“Ma’am yes Ma'am!” Twilight and Pinkie Pie yelled, both stood ramrod straight. Pinkie Pie with a broad grin and boundless enthusiasm, Twilight with the slightly manic tension of a mare on too much caffeine. Between the two Applejack shot a skeptical glance at the pair.
“Really?” she said, rolling her eyes.
“What was that recruit?” Rainbow Dash roared, immediately in her face. “Do I hear somepony saying they don’t want to fly?”
Applejack let out a huff. “No... Ma'am. Ya’ don’t need to yell.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yes I do recruit! Flying isn’t something you can fool around with. To be an awesome flier you have to remember the three D’s at all times. Discipline! Dedication! Daring! And Rainbow Dash!” She paused, rubbing her chin with a hoof. “Though I suppose that last one’s an R... Eh, whatever.”
“My point is, recruits!” she snapped, resuming her pacing. “When you’re up there in the big blue and you get in trouble you’re not gonna’ find a pony behind a cloud waiting to rescue you. Those shiny new wings are the only thing that’ll stop you from an unpleasant meeting with the ground. Until I trust you with your flippy-flappers you will be doing what I say, when I say it! That means, when I tell you to jump I want you all three hooves above my head and asking when to land. Understood?”
“Ma’am yes Ma'am!” Pinkie and Twilight chorused.
“Yes, Ma'am.” Applejack sighed. “Fluttershy, how did you get out of this again?”
Fluttershy, who’d been dozing at the crown of the hill started. “Me? Oh... well I’m not feeling a hundred percent after all the chaos of the Crusaders yesterday.” She shifted her wing in its sling, wincing. “I’m sure I’ll be able to join you for the next one.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “She got a doctor's note and everything,” she admitted with a sigh. “Next time though– Oh no, an injured squirrel!” She whirled, pointing.
“Where!” Fluttershy exclaimed, leaping to her hooves and spreading her wings wide. For a moment she scanned the horizon, frantically, then caught sight of Rainbow Dash’s smirk. “I mean... ooo, ow, my wing.” She gave a sheepish smile.
“Get in line, sister.”
Sighing, she slunk back into the line of alicorns.
“Told ya’,” Rainbow said, flashing a cocky grin. “I bet that chemistry stuff that Apple Bloom was playing with wasn’t even that dangerous.”
“It was trinitrotoluene!” Twilight protested. She received blank looks all around.
“See, nothing serious,” Rainbow Dash continued. “And Scootaloo hadn’t even got halfway through all your security traps around Starswirl's book when we caught up to her, so no harm done there either. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, jump!”
Fluttershy let out a startled squeak as Pinkie Pie and Twilight leapt into the air. Twilight hovered, unsteady on her wings but more or less stable. Pinkie Pie just stood there.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, Twilight.” Rainbow frowned at Pinkie Pie’s unsettling ignorance of gravity. “Pinkie, you know it's customary to flap your wings, right?”
“Okie dokie—” Pinkie Pie spread her wings and immediately dropped like a rock. “—owie...”
Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Of course. Good... hustle, Pinkie. Right, Twilight, come down. Today, girls, we’re going to be starting with the basics. That means we’re going to be doing a lot of landing and a lot of gliding. Once you’ve got those down–”
“Oh darlings!” Rarity’s singsong voice cut through the still morning air. She trotted through the long grass towards the group, her hair tied up in an elaborate braid wearing lurid turquoise ankle socks. “So sorry if I kept you all waiting. Sweetie Belle, the guilty darling that she is, insisted on cooking breakfast today.”
Rainbow glanced over her shoulder at the sun, creeping slowly over the horizon. “Shouldn’t that have made you, you know, earlier?” she snapped.
Rarity tittered. “Oh my, you’ve never had the girls offer to cook, have you?” She shook her head, stepping into line. “I won’t hear a word against my sister, but it was definitely a discrete trip to Sugarcube Corner for me this morning.”
“Whatever.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Alright girls, we’re burning daylight here. First things first, pres~ent wings!”
Twilight and Fluttershy snapped their wings open and held them wide in a parade ground rest. Applejack followed suit a moment later, casting her eyes left and right as she tried to mirror the motion, with Rarity following her lead. Pinkie’s wings flopped open and stayed there, despite her best efforts.
“Okay then...” Rainbow began, walking down the line. “Fluttershy, great. Old Flight Camp instincts never leave you, do they? Twilight, spread those primaries and c'mon girl, stop being so shy about the oil. Applejack–”
Rainbow Dash did a double take, as she saw the sheer width of the cow-pony’s wings. “Whoa, Applejack. I hope you’re planning to grow into those babies.” She shook her head and darted in, pushing Applejack into the proper posture with a few well placed tweaks. “Try and keep the tension for this on your tendons, though. Displaying your wings always feels weird at first, but you get used it.”
“What exactly are we doing this for anyhow?” Applejack cut in, shuffling her hooves.
“Tradition,” Rainbow said with a shrug. “And so I can see if you preened properly.” She leaned in and plucked a long orange feather, eliciting a hiss of pain from Applejack. “That hurt?”
“A little,” Applejack muttered, unclenching her teeth.
“Good. Pluck loose feathers as soon as you can bear. Otherwise, they can fester.”
Rainbow continued down the line. Pinkie Pie was a mess, struggling to even keep her wings level let alone presented. After a minute trying to drag the limbs into position, Rainbow Dash stepped back frowning.
“Being hexapedal is hard,” Pinkie lamented, hanging her head. Her wings dropped, lopsided in an instant.
“Well I don’t know about that, but having wings takes a lot of work.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “I’ll get back to you, Rarity, I–argh.”
Rainbow Dash turned and was nearly blinded by the glare coming off Rarity’s brilliant white wings.
“What was that, darling?” Rarity inquired, in a singsong tone. A smug smile plastered across her face despite her best efforts to appear demure.
Rainbow held up a hoof in front of her eyes. “What have you done?” she demanded.
“Oh, this?” She brushed an invisible speck of dust from her wings. “Why, I dropped by the spa yesterday. I knew I simply had to be in tip top shape for our first lesson so I asked for their very best.”
“Well you certainly got value for money,” Rainbow exclaimed, shuffling around the alicorn so the glare wasn’t quite as blinding. “You’ve got, like, four pegasi’s worth of oil on those things.” She frowned and ran a hoof along one of Rarity's primary feathers. “Rarity, these are softer than foal down!”
“I know,” Rarity cooed. “Doesn’t it just feel wonderful? Aloe and Lotus were hesitant but I think the results speak for themselves.”
Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Urgh. Okay, we’ve got to fix this mess. Everypony! Drop and give me twenty.”
Pinkie Pie flopped, boneless to the floor. “Here you go,” she chirped, pulling a small bag of bits out of her mane.
“Wing-ups!” Rainbow Dash snapped. “Twenty wing-ups, jeeze.”
“Ooh, why didn’t you say so?”
Rainbow Dash didn’t dignify that with an answer. The girls scrambled into position, wingtips flat against the ground and forehooves raised, leaving only Rarity and Rainbow standing.
“Are you quite sure about this, darling?” Rarity began, with a skeptical glance at the dew spotted grass. “The ground here seems a little... dirty.”
“Yeah, that’s the point.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “It’s made of dirt, that’s what it does. Now come on. Wings on the ground and weight through your hips.” She dropped into the pose before Rarity.
Wrinkling her nose Rarity followed suit, trying to hold herself up on only the very tips of her wings.
“One!” Rainbow Dash pushed herself down and up on her wings, mirrored by the rest of the line. Rarity barely moved.
Rolling her eyes, Dash repeated. “One.”
Again, Rarity made only the smallest motion she could muster.
“One.”
“Oh really, darling,” Rarity snapped, after another perfunctory bob. “There are other numbers.”
“And you’ll hear them when you do a proper wing-up,” Rainbow Dash shot back. “Come on, Rarity get your nose in the grass. You need muscle in your wings if you’re going to fly. And trust me, you don’t want your wings failing on you at three thousand hooves.”
Rarity let out annoyed huff. “Very well.” She ducked lower, only to have her wings slip out either side of her and deposit her on the ground with an ‘oof’.
“One half.” Rainbow Dash sighed.
“Urgh, I think that’s quite enough of that,” Rarity said, stumbling to her hooves and bushing the grass out of her coat. “What’s next?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and kicked herself into the air, hovering before Rarity. “Wing-ups, cadet!” she roared. “So get your prissy white plot back on the ground!”
“There’s no need to be rude,” Rarity shot back, turning her nose up. “It clearly wasn’t working. We’ll just have to try something else.”
“Something else?” Rainbow Dash echoed, disbelief creeping into her voice. “Rarity, I am literally on lesson one here. Actually, scratch that, this is freakin’ lesson zero—listen to your instructor! If you don’t do what I say, you’re going to fall out of the sky faster than a unicorn off of Cloudsdale.”
Rarity’s shuddered. “I was under the impression we’d moved on from that.”
“You moved on. I’m still a little mad at you.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, holding her forehooves barely a millimeter apart. “Just a touch. And maybe if you think back you’ll remember just how dangerous flying can be if you aren't careful. It isn’t some prissy formal dance or yoga lesson. Everything I’m teaching will be life and death up there.”
Rarity let out a huff. “My yoga classes are a crucial part of my daily calisthenics, I’ll have you know. And I’m quite aware that one has to listen to her teacher, but perhaps there is also some onus on listening to your student? Hmm?”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed. “Really?” she began, hovering face to face with Rarity. “So, what you’re saying is... you wanna’ try something different? Something that means you don’t have to get down in the dirt with the rest of us?”
“Why, yes.” Rarity broke into a broad smile. “I’m thinking maybe some loose rugs to–”
“No, no. I got this. Hold your wings out and wait right here.” With a blast of displaced air Rainbow Dash shot away into the sky, leaving only her trademark contrail.
“Rares,” Applejack interjected, from her position on the floor. “You sure this is a good idea?”
“Oh, don’t worry yourself on my part,” Rarity said with a dismissive wave. With a tiny frown she spread her wings to their full extent. “Every lesson is a negotiation at heart. We must each learn the measure of the other mare before we can progress.”
“Right... You do know our Rainbow ain’t one that learns easy, right?”
Rarity tossed her head. “Well, I have also gained a reputation for being stubborn when the occasion demands. We shall see who blinks first.”
A faint howl of wind was the only warning anypony had of Rainbow Dash’s return. She flew at breakneck speed across the grass, a dust-devil clasped between her hooves and a nasty grin on her face. Rarity had half a second to react and chose poorly in opening her mouth to scream.
“So,” Rainbow continued, dusting a few flecks of dust from her hooves as she landed in front of Rarity. A faint wind whipped around them as Twilight swept the slowly settling dust cloud away with her magic. “How’s that work for you?”
Rarity, covered from head to hoof in dust, let out a hacking cough. “You realise, of course,” she croaked. “You will pay for this?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Don’t care. Now that you’re as grubby as you’re going to get, I want to see some wing-ups, recruit. Or do I have to come up with something else different?”
Muttering to herself, and sparing a glare for the rainbow-maned alicorn, Rarity lowered herself onto her wings.
“That really necessary, sugarcube?” Applejack interjected as she straightened her hat.
“Of course it was, do I look like some evil drill sergeant?” A smug grin broke through Rainbow Dash’s professional mask for a moment. “Now, girls, on my mark. One! Two!” She paced down the line, keeping an eye on the girls’ technique. “Two and a half. All the way down please, Rarity. Three!”
Rarity merely glared at her.
“Don’t you give me that sass,” she began to walk down the line as the alicorns continued their wing-ups. “Lesson one of flying, look after your wings. Flying ain’t magic, up there it’s all physics and physics takes no prisoners if you feel tired, or get sloppy or even get cocky. That means that your wings have to be in shape before you even think about getting into the air. They should be preened—” She gave Twilight a pointed look. “—And they should be properly oiled. That does not mean soaked in the stuff. If you happen to overdo the oil, though, I can always recommend a good dust bath.”
Rarity’s glare intensified.
“Okay, rookies, back on your hooves!” Rainbow snapped. With only a little grumbling the alicorns scrambled back to their hooves, shaking out their wings. “As I was saying, today we’re doing the basics.” She spread her wings wide and shot into the sky, returning mere moments later with a pony sized wedge of cloud. “What we’ll be focusing on is called a ‘neutral glide’. This is, and I have to stress this, the single simplest maneuver you can do and we will be doing nothing else until you can do it safely. Now, I’ll demonstrate.”
Rainbow Dash plucked a disk of cloudstuff from the nearby cloud and flopped onto it. She spread her wings wide, arching them to maximise the surface area, and extended her hind legs straight out.
“A glide position like this is pretty simple. You fall, the air catches under your wings and that keeps you in the air. We’re all very broad winged now, so you’re looking at a glide-ratio of about eight to one. That’s eight hooves along for every hoof you fall. It's a nice and gentle way to get back to the ground. Landing can be a bit interesting as it's a running halt, but let's get you girls familiar with your wings before doing anything fancy.”
She leapt off of her cloud and began dishing out disks of fluff to the girls. “Gliding is the easiest form of flying and takes very little brain power to get right,” she continued. “All you need to do is keep your wings locked like that and you will reach the ground without any problem. Even if you mess up and end up in a spin or fall, lock your wings in position and you’ll find yourself in a controlled glide without doing anything more complicated than wiggling your tail. Understood?”
The girls shared uneasy looks.
Rarity raised her hoof, struggling to keep hold of her tuft of cloud. “Darling, what was that last little bit you said? I’m afraid to say I got a little lost.”
“Lost?” Rainbow frowned. “Okay, well tell me where I lost you and we can catch up from there.”
“I...” Rarity pursed her lips. “I believe you’d just said ‘neutral glide’.”
Rainbow Dash facehooved. “Whooboy, this is going to take some work.” She spread her wings and cracked her joints. “Okay, let's see if I can make this simple. Girls, take five.”
Half an hour later, with Celestia’s sun well and truly above the horizon, Rainbow Dash finally threw her hooves up in frustration.
“Right, fine, whatever!” she exclaimed, stepping back from Rarity’s outstretched wings with a scowl. “That’s close enough for weather work.”
“Oh thank goodness,” Rarity exclaimed, shaking out her wings. “I thought this would never end.”
Rainbow fought back a wince as Rarity immediately dipped her wings on the left side. “Right... Okay girls, back in line!”
There was a scramble as Pinkie Pie and Applejack hurried over, both breathing heavily from a jog around the hill.
“And you, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash snapped. She lifted into the air and peered over the brow of the hill to where Twilight and Fluttershy were playing chess. “Come on, we’re burning daylight.”
Twilight held up a hoof. “Just a second. I’m about to break a six month losing streak.” She frowned at the board before moving her rook forwards two spaces. “Ah ha!”
With a near imperceptible roll of the eyes Fluttershy slid her princess across the board. “Checkmate.”
Twilight goggled, staring at the board with her mouth hanging open. “Argh!” She dropped her head into her hooves. “Okay, so that’s thirty one to seven. Good game.” Her horn kindled and, with a crack pop of teleportation, the pair were back in line.
“Right then,” Rainbow Dash continued, hovering before them. “Now, we’ve done the very basics. It took a little longer than expected, and I have to be at work in twenty minutes, but you’re almost home free.”
Rarity let out a sigh. “Oh thank goodness,” she said, softly.
Rainbow Dash pretended not to have heard. “That just leaves us with the next, absolutely crucial, step. Actually flying.” She allowed herself a vicious grin. “Now, you see that cloud up there? Twilight, if you can do the honours?”
“Of course.” Twilight's horn blazed with light as she began to draw more and more magic to her horn. Just as the light was becoming unbearable she released the spell and with an ear-splitting bang the herd vanished and reappeared on top of the cloud.
Rarity let out a startled shriek as she found herself a nail’s width from the edge of the cloud and threw herself into Applejack’s waiting forelegs. The cloud was not a particularly large specimen, barely thirty hooves across at its widest point, but it sat high enough that Ponyville was just a series of multicoloured blocks far below.
“Welcome to one thousand hooves, girls,” Rainbow Dash announced, beaming. She landed in front of them, her mane and tail buffeted by the wind. “Isn’t it wonderful? There’s no cleaner air in all of Equestria. Now, are you all ready for the fun bit?”
“Fun?” Rarity exclaimed, a hysterical lilt creeping into her voice. “Fun?!”
“Yeah, fun,” Rainbow continued. “See down there?” She pointed towards a smear of reflected sunlight. “That’s the Ponyville swimming hole. From here it’s a simple, straight shot all the way down to the water’s edge. All you have to do is lock your wings and glide until you reach the ground, or the water, I’m not worried how you land on this one. Understood, recruits?”
“Yes, Ma'am!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, beaming, as the rest of the girls nodded.
“Umm... you know, I’m really not so sure about all this,” Rarity cut in, hastily. The mare began to back further away from the edge of the cloud.
“Awesome.” Rainbow clapped her hooves together. “Alright, Twilight you’re up. Show them how it’s done.”
“Right away, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight took a running leap off the cloud without a moment’s hesitation. Showing off perhaps a little, Twilight waited a good two seconds before unfurling her wings with a wumph of displaced air. Within moments her plummet became a swoop and she shot off into the distance.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. That was definitely not how Twilight’s first glide had gone.
“Umm, we have to do that, sugarcube?” Applejack enquired, peering after Twilight, a hint of trepidation creeping into her voice.
“Don’t worry about the showboating, just spread your wings and jump.”
Applejack swallowed a lump. “Okay.” She spread her wings and stepped up to the edge of the cloud. “But if Ah go splat Ah’m coming back to haunt you.”
“Noted, now jump!”
Applejack didn’t move, she was transfixed by the view of the ground far below.
Rainbow Dash sighed, counted to three and then whacked Applejack on the cutie-mark. With a startled yell she leapt forwards, tipped over the edge of the cloud and fell like a rock for a good dozen hooves before straightening her wings and catching the wind.
“That’s it, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash called after her. “Keep those wings level. Okay, Pinkie–”
“BANZAI!” Pinkie screamed, bull rushing Rainbow who let out a startled squawk.
Despite her best efforts, Rainbow Dash failed to get out of the way in time and caught a bright pink wing full in the face. The pair went tumbling over the edge of the cloud and vanished from sight. There was a moment’s silence as Fluttershy and Rarity stared, then Rainbow Dash shot back into the sky. She landed heavily on the cloud and spat out a feather.
“Sor~ry!” Pinkie Pie’s voice echoed from far below.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “She’s fine. Okay, now Rarity.”
“Ah, oh dear.” A full body tremble shook Rarity as she stared at the edge of the cloud. “Well, I’m afraid that—darling—I’m not wholly sure...”
“Rarity,” Rainbow Dash cut in, her voice low and warning. “Are you chickening out on me?”
Rarity held a hoof to her barrel in mock surprise. “Moi? Oh heavens no, Rainbow Dash. I...” Her gaze once again flicked to the sky and she took a step back, putting her right at the centre of the small cloud. “I...” She forced a plastic grin onto her face. “I simply wish to go over my wing positions a few more times. You know. Make sure that everything is in order before the—” She swallowed a lump. “—jump.”
Cocking her head, Rainbow Dash approached her. “Really? After half an hour you want more practice? Come on, Rarity, I promise you’re ready for this. Just make the jump and we’ll sort things out on the way down.”
“The way down!” Rarity exclaimed, her face turning pale. An impressive trick for an alicorn with a snow white coat. “No no no no no! That’s far too late, I’m not moving from this spot until I am one hundred percent ready!”
“Fluttershy, make sure the girls are doing okay,” Rainbow said, without taking her eyes from Rarity.
Fluttershy glanced between the pair, pursed her lips and then shook her head. “Okay,” she said softly, then leapt over the edge of the cloud.
“Right, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said, straightening her coaching hat. “Let me lay down how this works. You are here to learn to fly. I am your teacher. I am telling you that you need to jump off this cloud. Is there a problem that I’m not seeing here, recruit?”
“Yes, yes there is,” Rarity shot back, unable to keep the quaver from her voice. “I’m not doing it. I need more practice.”
Rainbow Dash shot her a flat look. “You are fine. Now, jump!” She jabbed a hoof at the open sky.
“No!” Rarity shot back, stamping. The cloud let out a rumble of protest. “I’m not doing it and you can’t make me.”
“Urgh, what’s your problem, Rarity?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, pressing a hoof against her temple. “You came here to fly and I’m trying to teach you, but you’ve done nothing but drag your hooves. Do you want to get airborne or not?”
“Not!” Rarity snapped. “In fact, take me down to the ground, right now—” She shuddered, her eyes flicking towards the endless blue. “—I’ve had more than enough of this.”
Rainbow Dash goggled. “Seriously? You’re going to just quit on the first lesson? After the fuss you made about having wings? You’re an alicorn, girl, and flying is part of package, but you just want to quit because, what, you’re afraid the wind will mess up your hair or something?”
“My hair?” Rarity roared, spreading her wings defensively. “I’m afraid I’ll fall to my death!”
“Your–” Rainbow Dash stifled another angry retort. She cocked her head at Rarity. “Wait, you’re afraid of heights?”
“No, no, not at all,” Rarity said, hastily. Too hastily if Rainbow Dash was any judge. “It is simply that after the third time one finds themselves plummeting to their doom, one gets a little... leery.”
With a sardonic chuckle Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Wow, I never thought the only unicorn to compete in the Young Fliers Competition would be afraid of heights.”
Rarity scowled. “That is one of the reasons.”
“Okay, okay,” Rainbow said, chuckling. “I think I know how to fix your problem. Come with me.” She beckoned with a hoof. Rarity frowned. “Seriously, come stand with me.”
“You’re going to kick me off of the cloud, aren’t you?”
Rainbow held a hoof to her chest. “I Pinkie Promise I won’t kick you off the cloud.”
Still frowning, Rarity stepped up next to Rainbow Dash, who put a wing over her withers and guided her to the edge of the cloud. “Now, we’re not going to do anything scary. I just want you to feel the wind under your wings. Get used to the sky and all that.”
A tremble ran through Rarity’s frame but she stayed in place, staring out across Equestria far below.
“Okay, now spread your wings.” Rainbow Dash stepped smarty back as Rarity’s wings unfurled. “Close your eyes and just picture yourself in the air.”
For a long moment the two alicorns stood there, the wind playing through their hair.
“You know,” Rarity began, letting out a little sigh. “This isn’t so bad.”
“Good, hold that thought.” Rainbow Dash reared up and brought her forehooves down on the cloud with a solid wumph. To its credit, the cloud held up for a full second before the blast of pegasus magic tore half of the small platform to shreds. Rainbow Dash was ready, with her wings out, to catch herself in place. Rarity dropped like a rock.
“Argh! You– I’ll get you for this Rainbow Dash!”
“And... she’s not holding her wings out,” Rainbow muttered to herself, watching Rarity plummet. “Jeeze, this is going to take a while.”
Rolling her eyes she shot after Rarity. Again.