You take in a huge, deep breath of the fresh air around you. It'd been a pretty great day, besides the drama that happened this morning. Adagio's sitting down next to you on the bench, swinging her feet over the sidewalk since she still isn't tall enough to reach all the way. You smile at her.
"So, did you have a good birthday, honey?" you ask her.
She turns to you with a big, beaming grin and nods her head. "Mhmm. Thanks for doing all that for me."
Your mind runs through the last couple of hours as you lean back. The two of you took a long walk through the park, then headed for the mall to look through some new clothes for her. She dragged you into the bookstore for a few hours, sifting through mountains of different novels and getting excited like Sonata might if you'd brought her to a candy shop. Not a single one of them were in that big stack of books you bought her either, which made the trip a little more aggravating than it should have been for you.
After another trip for dinner and ice cream, you're now back at the park with her, watching as the sun slowly creeps down under the trees.
"You seem to be feeling better."
"It got better I think. It still hurts, but not quite as bad anymore," she says, her eyes shifting down to her feet swinging below her.
You follow her eyes too, thinking about how short she still is for her age. She's barely taller than Aria now. "Is there anything else you need before we head home? I know you probably stayed up all night last night. We could get you some sleeping medicine if you want."
"No, I think I'm alright. Thanks though." Adagio stops swinging her legs and looks over to you. "Well, there is one thing..."
Adagio pulls her feet up onto the bench and grabs your arm. Before you know what's happening she lifts it over her head and is snuggled up against you again. She lets out a little, contented sigh as she settles into you.
You let out your own sigh, but your demeanor is far from content. You can remember so many nights like this, just sitting out on the bench in silence with Sunset. You can remember the way the evening sun bounced off the tiny little pond at the spot you used to go to, you can remember the way that soft glow surrounded Sunset and the way she used to grin and blush when she'd catch you staring at her. You can almost hear the soft whisper of her voice again, telling you how much she loved you, or how much she enjoyed the day.
You can feel those sweet little promises you made to her on your tongue again, promising an amazing life for her, or just an amazing night to come. The way she used to giggle and call you a jerk when you'd whisper a joke into her ear about her goofy smile or her dorky laugh. The way her hair felt when you held her tight in a hug, the softness of her skin when she'd place her hand on your cheek for a kiss.
The lump forming in your throat promised to take away any of that happiness you earned with Adagio today. You cleared your throat to try and push it down, but being here and feeling Adagio next to you just cemented it harder. You wanted nothing more now than to just go home and forget about it now, but you care about Adagio's happiness more than you do yours.
"Dad?" Adagio says quietly.
You clear your throat again. "Yes, honey?" you say, your voice still shaking a little.
"Could you... could you tell me about Mom?"
You close your eyes and grit your teeth for a moment. Couldn't she have asked for something else? Like a pony or a yacht? You take a deep breath as you let the question hang in the air for a moment. You can't say no to her, especially not on her birthday.
"What do you want to know, sweetie? You still remember her, don't you?"
"Yeah, of course. I just... I just wanted to know what she was like before I was born. You know, when you guys first met?"
Oh boy. You can feel the pain striking your heart already like a dozen vices all crushing your heart at the memories already flooding in. "Well... I'm sure you remember some of the stories about when we really first met. When she came through the portal and did all those bad things?"
"Yeah, but she changed right?"
You let a smile cross your lips, despite the hurt weighing on you. "Yes, she did. Though, I didn't believe her at first. I think I was the last one to still think she was the school bully."
"Huh? Why?"
"Well, your mom was really smart, just like you. But instead of using it to learn and help people, she used to to be really mean to a lot of people instead. She did something particularly nasty to me, and I wasn't ready to forgive her yet."
Adagio raised her eyebrow, looking up to you as if you were beginning an epic. "What did she do?"
"Uhh," you rub the back of your neck and look away. "I don't think I'll get into it, but just know that I wasn't ready to forgive her for it. Anyway, your mother was determined to show me that she'd changed, so she spent almost an entire week trying to be the best friend to me she could possibly be."
"What happened? Did you forgive her?"
"Eventually I did. She ended up being such a good friend that I ended up falling in love with her, despite all the nasty things she did."
"What happened after that?"
"Well, that was towards the end of high school, so after that your mother and I ended up going to the same college and living together for the rest of the time. There were a couple of hiccups here and there, but we managed to survive."
You let out another sigh as the memories flood back in. You have to try your hardest to keep up your demeanor for Adagio. "She was the most amazing person. She'd do anything to help her friends, even if it meant sacrificing her own needs in the process. I've never met anyone that cared so much and expected so little in return. She woke up every day determined to have a smile on her face and be happy, so that she could try and brighten everyone's day. I may have messed that up a few times, but she was still such... such a ray of sunshine in everyone's lives."
Adagio blinked at you a few times and then counted something on her fingers. "Wait, did you only go to college for three years?"
"Huh? No, both your mother and I went for the full four to get our degrees."
"But I'm thirteen, and you..."
A jolt goes through your system once you realized what Adagio is trying to add up. "Oh, well... you were kind of an accident, sweetie?"
"An accident? What do you mean?"
You rub your neck again and give her a sheepish smile. "Well, we didn't actually mean to have you... you were kind of a surprise."
Adagio's mouth fell open for a moment. "So I'm just an accident? I was never supposed to be born? What the heck, dad?" she says, looking up to you, a little bit of hurt in her eyes.
You put your hands on her shoulders and give her a loving smile. "You are the best accident I've ever had, Adagio. Just because it happened without us meaning to have you doesn't mean I love you any less."
Adagio looks up at you with a tiny grin. "Okay... the least you could've done was lied to me about it," she says with a joking tone.
Like that's worked out well for you so far. Adagio nestles herself back under your arm and looks out towards the sunset.
"What about when I was born? What was she like then?"
You feel that lump in your throat grow even bigger. The joyful memories of being with your daughter and your wife for the first time strike a harsh contrast from the emotions flowing through you now. You clear your throat yet again. "I'd never seen her so happy in the entire time I've known her..."
You have to take a moment as you feel the tears well up in your eyes. "Even with the all of the pressure of having to take care of you and finish college, she never once stopped trying to smile. Even when I felt like the whole world was crashing down on me, she took the time to be there and have fun like we were teenagers again...
"And after we graduated she spent every second of her day making sure you were going to have the best childhood possible so that you'd never have to go through what she had to. So that you'd wake up every day with a reason to smile and two parents who loved you more than anything in the world."
You feel the first tear roll down your cheek. Why couldn't it have been you? "She loved you so much, Adagio. If she was here now I know she would want to give you the best birthday party ever. If she were here now, I know she'd hold you close and tell you how proud she is of you, and about all the great things you were going to do in life. If she were here now... God... I miss her so much," you whisper to yourself as your voice finally falls apart. You didn't want to break down in front of your daughter, but it's too late now.
You have to look away for a moment. Adagio doesn't move for a while, but you hear a quick sniff that isn't yours, pulling your attention back to her. Once you look down at her face, you can see the tears rolling down her cheeks too.
"Dad?" she asks, her voice frail and cracking.
"Yes, sweetie?"
"Do you think I could have one of your pictures of Mom?" Adagio asks, letting out her first sob.
You pull her up onto your lap and wrap both of your arms around her tightly. "Of course, honey." You kiss her on the top of the head as she curls up against you, breaking down and sobbing into your shirt. "Of course..."
You close your eyes and just let the tears fall. You hug Adagio even tighter, for both you and Sunset. "I love you so much, Adagio. Don't ever forget that."