The Infestation of Canterlot High School

by Bonster

Intermission A

Princess Luna was in a foul mood. Not only was her dentist appointment predictably horrible (she preferred the olden days when, oral hygiene consisted of pulling teeth and nothing else), but she had been forced to stay up all day filling out the guard reassignments she had put off until the last minute in all her regal maturity. And Luna hated paperwork.

So it was quite understandable, considering the circumstances, that she would forget to close the door to her balcony after raising the moon and heading off to watch over the dreamscape.

As Luna fell into unconsciousness, a crow flapped its way past her balcony and into her quarters. After ensuring that the princess was, in fact, asleep, Queen Chrysalis reverted to her original form and began to set about dismantling the predictably lax array of security spells around the castle. You’d think that after her first invasion they would have stepped it up, but apparently Celestia couldn’t be bothered. Some ponies never change.

After her magic slipped around the final alarm spell, Chrysalis condensed some of her love stores into silk, weaving the Princess of the Night a comfortable new chrysalis to sleep in. She assumed Luna’s form without a second thought, and quickly conjured a vial of vibrant pink liquid. She popped the cork and downed it, the liquid love warm on her tongue, and her second stomach felt like it was overflowing. It probably contained more love at that moment than some drones would see in a lifetime, but she’d need it for what was to come.

Well, probably. Celestia had kind of been a pushover the last time they had met.

The thestral guards outside Luna’s quarters were unsurprisingly stupid, not so much as questioning Chrysalis as she told them that nopony was to enter her room until she allowed as much. Chrysalis closed her eyes and concentrated, zeroing in on the blazing inferno of a magical aura that was Celestia. That was the problem when you harbored the powers of the Sun; celestial bodies didn’t put a lot of points into subtlety, and Chrysalis found her way to Celestia’s chambers as if she lived there.

After telling the guards outside Celestia’s room that she demanded an audience, they obediently allowed her passage.

Idiots.

“Good evening, Luna. What brings you?” Celestia was sitting on her princess-sized bed, reading a—was that a romance novel? Chrysalis had to bite back a gag.

Chrysalis closed the door with her magic, making sure the coloration was correct. She could not afford any mistakes this time. “I… wished to speak with you, sister. In private.”

Celestia smiled that fake smile of hers. Oh, how Chrysalis detested that smile. Call her condescending all you want, but she had nothing on Celestia. “My door is always open to you, Luna.”

“Thank you. But, before we start, I wish to cast a soundproofing spell. I don’t want anypony listening in.”

“Do not hesitate,” Celestia said calmly as Chrysalis cast the spell. “So nopony hears me scream, correct?”

“Wait, wha—” Chrysalis was cut off by a laser beam in her side, causing her disguise to drop. “You bitch,” Chrysalis snarled, “I’ve been waiting years to use that line.”

Celestia held her head high, ignoring Chrysalis’s outburst. “I was wondering if you would return, Chrysalis. Did you really expect me to fall for the same trick twice?”

“Oh, shut it with the high and mighty crap! I bested you with half the power I have now!”

“Further, do you really expect me to make the same mistake twice?”

Chrysalis only growled and fired a laser beam thick as an oak at Celestia. The alicorn cast a barrier in front of her, turning the beam back at Chrysalis, who quickly canceled the spell before it collided with her and sprang forward, wings buzzing. She shapeshifted her left forehoof into a battle axe and swung at Celestia, who parried with a radiant gold glaive that appeared in her hoof. No sooner had their blades clashed than Chrysalis touched her crooked horn to Celestia’s, discharging a bucketload of love energy straight into her mana flows. Celestia coughed and recoiled from their deadlock, but quickly recovered.

“We alicorns are very resilient beings. A dirty trick like that will do you no good, villain.”

“Villain? Because you and your ponies haven’t done anything wrong, huh?!”

“I do not know what our race has done to deserve your ire, but if you are to attack my nation and threaten the peace I’ve worked so hard towards, I must respond accordingly.”

Celestia’s horn shone blindingly bright, and a torrent of golden flames shot towards Chrysalis, who countered with a hastily constructed wall of hardened silk. The Queen grit her teeth; she had hoped that Celestia would be unable to call on the Sun’s powers during the night, but apparently that barely mattered. Or maybe it did, and Chrysalis would have been toast if it had been daytime.

While she was hidden from sight, Chrysalis conjured up two duplicates of herself, pouring glamour into a physical form. A bit of extra love here to make them more resilient, and a bit there to make them more lifelike. Changelings were known for their deception for a good reason, and Chrysalis had had thousands of years to practice. As the flames stopped, the three Chrysalises flew over the wall and transformed their forehooves into rapier-like appendages. Celestia studied the three of them, and shot a bolt at the middle one, which flew backwards into the wall and screamed.

And then Chrysalis stabbed her.

Celestia’s eyes widened only slightly as she looked at the blade-leg in her chest and the blood staining her trademark white coat.

The other two versions of Chrysalis poofed out of existence, and the remaining one cackled. “My glamour is not to be underestimated, Celestia!”

Chrysalis’s chortles stopped abruptly as she felt the flesh around her blade tighten, and Celestia pumped her wings, sending herself into a midair barrel roll. Her body was hard as rock, and Chrysalis’s leg snapped, eliciting a scream.

“Neither is earth pony magic. Many would do well to remember that.”

The half still inside Celestia’s barrel dissipated as Chrysalis’s leg reverted to normal—well, not entirely; it was missing a hoof. Only fast thinking and shapechanging was holding in the blood.

Chrysalis, having to dig deep into her love reserves, let out an ear-piercing shriek as she shapeshifted another hoof, connecting all the necessary nerves and arteries. She looked up to see Celestia finish healing her own wound—not even a speck of blood dirtied her pristine fur.

Chrysalis took a shuddering breath. “You’re going to pay for that,” she said, her voice gravely and dangerous.

Her horn was suddenly surrounded by black wisps of energy and crackling grey magic, and Chrysalis grunted with exertion as her eyes became clouded with inky mana.

Celestia let out a small gasp and took a step back. “Dark magic?” She quickly composed herself and lit her own horn ablaze. “Of course you would stoop to such lows. You shall be your own downfall, like all those before you.”

But Chrysalis couldn’t hear her, and she let out a bestial bellow. Lines of dark energy shot crookedly from her horn, as if the very air between the two were cracking.

Across from her, Celestia’s horn glowed with a brilliant radiance, and golden light washed over the room.

The light threatened to drown out Chrysalis’s cracks, but she poured even more love energy into the spell, as much as her horn could channel, and the lines solidified, continuing their snaking path towards Celestia.

And as one sharp line pierced Celestia’s leg, her light started to fade, vacuumed up by the forbidden spell. Another two entered her barrel, and her legs strained with effort; a fourth struck her forehead, and her horn flickered and died, the light fading soon afterwards. A dozen different lines of magic skewered her like a pincushion, and Celestia could feel her mana levels falling as she collapsed to the ground, suddenly exhausted.

“Not so confident now, are we?” Chrysalis’s horn extinguished, too, and her eyes cleared. “He may not have been totally right in the head, but Sombra knew how to craft a good spell.”

Celestia was breathing heavily, spitting hairs of her no-longer-flowing mane out of her mouth. The Sun couldn’t help her any further, it seemed. “You’re digging yourself a grave, Chrysalis. Fate won’t stay on your side forever, and trust me when I say that it knows how to twist the blade.”

“Oh, just shut up,” Chrysalis said offhandedly before imprisoning Celestia.

Chrysalis took a minute to down three more vials of liquid love—dark magic took a lot of energy, and combined with all her other exploits in the battle, her love-stomach was only half full. And while, as a Queen, that would be enough to take on nearly any threat at this stage in her plan, one can never be too careful.

She had learned that the hard way.

As she took up a disguise again, this time Celestia, she tapped into the hivemind.

Traxx, your position?

Her top infiltrator’s thoughts rang inside her head in an instant reply: Canterlot Gardens. Is it time for me to join you?

Yes. You can latch onto my aura from there?

Easily. See you soon, my Queen.

Not a moment later, a small pillar of flame appeared next to her and out stepped Traxx. Ask any changeling—flames are way cooler than sparkles when it comes to teleporting. Changelings one, ponies zero.

“Disguise yourself as Luna,” Chrysalis ordered. “Oh, and don’t look at Celestia’s memories. Your mind won’t be able to handle it.”

“Roger.”

Praxx, have you assembled regiments one and two yet?

Yes, my Queen.

Good. Bring them to the palace; Traxx and I will let you in. Chrysalis and Traxx, after telling the solar guards in front of Celestia’s door to deny all entry, started to make their way to the front gates. Regiments one and two, you are to capture and replace all ponies in the castle. Feel free to stock up on love from those you capture, but standard tax rates apply. Target guards first, and do not be seen.

A chorus of ‘Yes, my Queen’ and ‘roger’ came through the hivemind.

Kraxx, have you assembled regiments three and four at the outskirts of Ponyville?

I have Regiment Three here. #0833 is in charge of Regiment Four.

And how is that going, #0833?

We are assembled, my Queen.

Perfect. If this goes smoothly, you may get a name yet.

I’ll do my best, my Queen.

When I give the word, commence Phase Two. That will be all.

Chrysalis grinned. Everything was proceeding exactly according to plan.

My Queen, my Queen!

My Queen, my Queen!

Chrysalis was shaken from her beauty sleep by an incessant voice in the hivemind. And she was having such a good dream, too.

My Queen!

She groaned and shoved her face into the cool webbing of her bed. Ugh, what?

I have a report from the human dimension!

Fire away.

The drone streamed a cascade of secondhand memories through the hivemind.

Chrysalis frowned into her pillow. Things could be worse, but she supposed she might have been a bit hasty in assigning this mission to a drone who had only just been named. She had been on a hi from victory, and Graxx had done quite well throughout his time commanding the fourth regiment.

Whatever. She could always pop over there if things got ugly.

Thanks for the report. And remind them all that the love tax still applies in other dimensions.

Yes, my Queen!