Wily's Wittle Wub

by Tatsurou


9: Land and Sea

The elevator left Mega Man off in the middle of a wide park, located somewhat centrally amongst all the other locations he'd been to. This made logical sense to Mega Man in that the animals and animal bots that were meant to help spread the terraforming were under Hornet Man's control, which would by necessity have his location be centralized in the area being constructed. Much to Mega Man's surprise, however, animal based robots were not the first he encountered as he made his way towards the central building of the park. Instead, he encountered mine cart robots and flower pot robots. While he could understand the former as part of landscaping...the purpose of the latter escaped him, especially considering they shot flowers as slow moving homing missiles.

Another oddity Mega Man encountered was short platforms with snail shells at one end. When he stood on them, nothing happened. When he shot the shell, it took no damage but unrolled, extending the platform. However, before long it rolled back up, consuming the entire platform. Glad he'd observed and experimented when the only thing beneath such a platform was a flat floor, Mega Man continued onward.

The next mechanical security measure proved to be rogue flying scissors. Mega Man did his best not to think about just how strange that was, and decided not to examine the bushes of red roses all around him. He was half afraid he'd find paint.

Inside the main building, Mega Man was forced to make his way downward by encouraging launchers to fire their spherical bombs to destroy platforms so he could drop below. This did nothing to convince Mega Man of the relative sanity of the design of this place...especially when the security robot he encountered was a flower that popped up out of various platform to throw its petals at him while he dodged around a flowering vine that rotated clockwise around the room. For some reason he couldn't place, he found it especially unsettling that it said 'Howdy' every time it popped up.

After progressing past 'snail platforms' over a pit of spikes, Mega Man was finally able to make it to the park's control room. "I hope Hornet Man is as reasonable as Magma Man was," he murmured to himself. "Or at least as easy to deal with as Tornado Man."

Stepping through the final door, Mega Man found Hornet Man buzzing around the room angrily. "No!" he screamed out. "They will not beat me! I will show zzzzzem all! I will prove my zzzzuperiority! Mega Man will fall to me, as he hazzzzz to no ozzzer! Azz zzoon azz he getzzz here, zzzzzap!" With that, he slammed his fists down on a Mega Man plushy, making it squeak.

Mega Man blinked. "Wow. I didn't know they still made those."

Hornet Man spun around. "Mega Man!" he shrieked out. "You are too late! My victory izzz all but azzzured! I will dezzztroy you!" He leapt into the air. "Hornet Man, terrorizzzzze!" With that shout, he unleashed his weapon...three tiny robotic hornets that buzzed angrily towards Mega Man.

Mega Man stared at the robotic insects for a time, then swatted them out of the air with his hands as they approached him. "You're...not very good at this villain thing, are you?" he asked comfortingly.

"I juzzzt want rezzzpect!" Hornet Man wailed. "Izzz that zzo much to azzzzk?"

Mega Man blinked for a time, unsure what to say. "Uhh-"

"I don't want your pity!" Hornet Man roared out before teleporting away.

Mega Man continued to blink, before finally shrugging. "O...kay then," he admitted finally. Turning, he picked up one of the robotic hornets to download the Hornet Chaser weapon...which according to schematics, was more useful for retrieving items than as an actual weapon. With that, he made his way towards the only area he hadn't confronted a Robot Master in...the ocean.


As it turned out, the ocean was still in the beginning phases of construction, with the dirt beneath it covered over in metal in order to keep it from completely absorbing the ocean until the environment had stabilized at higher ambient moisture levels. Much to Mega Man's surprise, the area wasn't patrolled very well, with only the occasional spiked mine or octopus-in-pot robot to block his path, which continued to lead deeper into the ocean.

Immediately, Mega Man got fully on his guard. In his experience, lightly guarded paths were either traps or lead to things he wished had been traps instead. Either way, he was not looking forward to what was coming next.

After progressing down deep enough with only the occasional robotic fish swimming after him in addition to what he'd encountered previously, Mega Man found himself riding up large bubbles of air towards the surface again. The surface, however, wound up opening into a closed facility. Unsure what else to do, Mega Man made his way through...still encountering at best token defenses, as though someone who didn't really want to make the path difficult to explore was putting forth just enough to convince someone it was guarded. The thought that this might be because Splash Woman was aware of what was really going on and was on his side was somewhat encouraging, but Mega Man had walked into too many traps in his time to assume that right away.

Eventually, Mega Man climbed his way out of the facility to the surface, and back out to the ocean. This led to a short path to a final chamber. Mega Man expected to see Splash Woman in the chamber...but instead found it empty except for a rocky cavern in one corner, completely concealed by a growing curtain of seaweed. Confused, Mega Man stepped forward, only for music to fill the room.

White gloved hands began to part the curtain of seaweed as Splash Woman's musical, sultry voiced echoed through the water. "You had plenty of money in 19...22..."

The curtain parted and Splash Woman slowly sashayed out, her body flowing completely naturally in the water. Mega Man's eyes popped open as she sang and swam, as he quickly realized three things that prevented him from so much as speaking.

First, Splash Woman had discarded her helmet, letting her luxurious mane of blue-white hair fan out around her in the water, like a second dancer moving with her.

Second, whether based on siren or mermaid, Splash Woman's creator had crafted her...'a tad too lovingly' was the politest way Mega Man could phrase his thoughts.

And third, Splash Woman had discarded her torso armor with her helmet, exchanging it for a pair of small, artfully placed clam shells.

Splash Woman, for her part, continued to swim around Mega Man, staring at him hungrily through half-lidded eyes as the buoyancy of the water allowed her to move in ways that simply wouldn't be possible on land, making movements of her body that Mega Man simply wasn't ready to cope with. Desperately, he tried to get control of himself by asking what Kalinka would think if she saw him acting like a drooling ninny over Splash Woman. Unfortunately, this led to his mind conjuring up what Kalinka would look like if she was dancing like this.

Just as this thought erupted in his brain, Splash Woman swayed up to him, almost but not quite pressing against him as she finished her song. "Why don't you do right? Like some other me~e~n..." Leaning in, she whispered the last word into his ear. "Do..."

Mega Man, for his part, found that - as Vinyl likely would have put it - he wasn't Mega enough of a Man to handle this, and fell over in a dead faint. Smirking, Splash Woman took him by his feet and dragged him into the shadowed alcove behind the curtain of seaweed.

She then waited a minute, then pulled on a robe of seaweed before swatting Mega Man lightly on either side of his face to reboot him. "Wake up and stay quiet," she hissed, pitching her voice so it wouldn't carry through the water even to the edges of the cave. "We need to talk."