//------------------------------// // First Day On the Farm // Story: Living in Equestria // by Blazewing //------------------------------// I woke up the next morning to the sound of a rooster crowing. It was a far cry from Bon Bon knocking at the front door for our morning walks. I would’ve liked to sleep a little longer, but the sun was shining on my face now, so it was impossible. What made it even more impossible was Pinkie’s voice right in my ears. “Wakey-wakey!” she trilled. “It’s a new day! Rise and shine!” I heard Limestone grumble in her bunk. Stretching and yawning, I sat up, and banged my head against the bottom of the upper bunk. Rubbing the spot where I’d hit it, it was all I could do to keep from swearing. Marble, tousle-maned and drowsy, sat bolt upright in surprise. “Are you ok?” she asked, concerned. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled. “I just forgot I was in a bunk bed.” “Aww,” said Marble, sympathetically. “Don’t worry. I used to do that all the time when Pinkie did her wake-up calls. Lucky we Pies have such thick skulls.” The mattress above her suddenly sank lower, making her draw away in apprehension. Looking up, I saw that Pinkie had climbed into Limestone’s bunk, making it sag with her weight. Her older sister had her pillow clamped over her head. “Come on, Limey, up and at ‘em!” said Pinkie, cheerfully. “It’s Davie’s first official day on the farm!” “How many times do I have to tell you, Pinkie?” came Limestone’s muffled, grouchy voice. “I get up when I wanna get up! Now go away!” She tossed her pillow at Pinkie for good measure, but she ducked. It hit the wall with a thud most unbefitting of a pillow. Pinkie really hadn’t been joking about rock pillows, then. Pillow fights were serious business. “What’s all the noise up there?” called Igneous Rock from below. “Nothing, Dad!” called Pinkie. “Just getting everypony up!” “Well, shaketh a leg,” said Igneous. “Your grandmother’s making pancakes.” “Yay!” squealed Pinkie. She hopped up and down on the bed in excitement, making it sink lower and lower. Marble edged away, no doubt trying to avoid being crushed. “All right, all right, I’m up!” snapped Limestone, sitting up. I thought I wasn’t a morning person, but Limestone seemed way worse than me. She glared at her little sister, who smiled innocently and descended the ramp down to the floor. “See you downstairs,” she said, then disappeared down the stairs. Muttering to herself, Limestone climbed out of bed, down the ramp, and fixed her bunk from the bottom. Marble was still cowering against the wall, but she relaxed when the bed was righted. “Good morning,” I said. “Morning,” Limestone grunted. “Sorry you had to see that. I forgot how much of a morning pony my little sis is.” “That makes two of us,” I said. “I’m no morning person, trust me.” Limestone looked at me, smirked, then headed downstairs. Marble let out a sigh. “It feels so weird, having Pinkie back after so long,” said Marble, before she appended, hastily, “but it’s a good kind of weird, you know?” “Yeah, I know,” I said, smiling. “I only lived with her for a week or two, and that was so long ago, right when I first arrived in Equestria. I kinda miss having her as a roommate.” Marble smiled back, hopped off her bed, and headed downstairs. For my part, I grabbed a change of clothes and went downstairs to get washed up. *** Well, this morning started off interestingly, but it was only just getting started. The Pies’ bathroom had no shower or bathtub. Well, it had a bathtub, but it was one of those old-fashioned wooden tubs that you have to fill yourself. Seeing the kind of place this was, I really should’ve expected something like this. Well, who was I to speak out against how they did things around here? With Igneous’ help, after I’d explained what I needed, the tub was eventually filled, and he left to give me privacy. It was unusual, since it had been a long time since I’d had a bona fide bath, and I’d never used a scrubbing brush before, but, as they say, ‘when in Rome…’ It took longer than I would have liked, but at last, clean, refreshed, and clothed, I made my way to the main part of the house, where all the Pies were already gathered around the table. A great stack of pancakes sat in the very middle, ready to be doled out. I sat myself down, this time between Pinkie and Limestone. “Morning, everyone,” I said. “Sorry for that little bit of fuss earlier.” “It was no bother,” said Igneous. “I’d forgotten that you humans had an affinity for remaining fully clothed. Then again, I wouldst not be seen without mine favorite hat.” And it was a very nice one, at that. Grammy divvied up the pancakes between us, so that we all had quite a sizeable stack. There was a bottle of maple syrup, a can of whipped cream, bowls of strawberries and blueberries, and, of course, a bowl of rocks. Everypony but myself and Granny added at least a hoof-ful of these to their pancakes. I settled on syrup and strawberries, then dug in. They were light, fluffy, and delicious, but they also reminded me that I really ought to weigh myself soon, see where I stood. “Pinkamena told us that thy constitution does not handle rock cooking very well,” said Igneous. I nearly choked on my forkful of pancake. He’d said that completely out of the blue. “Why did you not speak of it before, Dave?” asked Cloudy Quartz. Neither looked angry, merely curious. I looked from them to Pinkie, who gave me an encouraging nod. Swallowing (both from nerves and to get rid of my mouthful), I said, “I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Pie-” “Please, Dave, call us Igneous and Cloudy,” said Igneous, calmly, and his wife nodded. “Er, right,” I said. “I’m sorry, Igneous, Cloudy. It’s just, that pot pie last night was a traditional recipe of yours, right? I didn’t want to be rude by saying I couldn’t eat it. And, to be honest, I did manage to eat it, in the end, so I figured it didn’t matter, anyway. I was just trying to be a good guest.” Igneous and Cloudy looked at me, then at each other, then smiled. “We greatly appreciate the gesture, Dave,” said Cloudy. “However, if rock foods do not suit thee, we would not have you suffer for it. You need only have said so from the start.” “Indeed,” said Igneous, nodding. “Thou art our honored guest, and thy well-being is uppermost to us, as thine hosts. Do not be afraid to speaketh your mind if something doth displease you. Pinkamena’s friends were much the same way.” Were they? Well, that made me feel a little better about it. “That’s very gracious of you, Igneous,” I said, inclining my head. “Thank you very much. It just amazes me how you all can eat them no problem.” “Strong jaws have always run in the Pie family,” said Limestone. “Here, watch.” She picked up a pebble about the size of a walnut, popped it into her mouth so I could see, held it between her teeth, and bit down. It cracked into pieces instantly. I stared, open-mouthed, as she crunched it up, then swallowed. She grinned at me, apparently pleased that she’d wowed me. “A-And all of you can do that?” I spluttered. I looked at Marble in particular. I could understand Pinkie being able to, but Marble? Such a sweet, delicate mare just didn’t look like one with a jaw of steel. “Mm-hmm,” said Marble, nodding. “Wow,” was all I could say. Breakfast passed peacefully after that. As soon as she had finished eating, and she’d done so rather quickly, Limestone got up. “I’d better get moving if I want to lay out the sun rocks,” she said. “It’s the first completely cloudless day we’ve had in a while, and those rocks need all the sun they can get.” Igneous nodded knowledgeably. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help, Limestone?” asked Marble. “Nah, it’s fine, Marble,” said Limestone. “If I’m not back by lunch, then you can come check on me, but only then,” she added, firmly. “All right?” “Mm-hmm,” said Marble. “See ya later,” Limestone told me and Pinkie, then headed out the door. About 15 minutes later, the rest of us had eaten our fill, and Cloudy and Grammy started clearing up. “So, what do you wanna do, Davie?” Pinkie asked. “Well, if it’s all right with you,” I said, “I’d love to take a look around the farm. It’s my first time really being on one of the rock variety, after all.” “Yay!” squealed Pinkie, hopping up from her seat. “Come on, then, Davie! I’m gonna give you the grand tour! Coming, Marble?” “Mm-hmm,” said Marble, standing up in turn. Standing up myself, I followed the twins from the table and out of the house, while the elder Pies congregated to their seats before the fireplace, watching us out with smiles on their faces. *** The sun was shining in earnest as we stepped out, the air only mildly cold. There was no snow anywhere within the boundaries of the farm. Even Holder’s Boulder was free of it. Pinkie was prattling on so quickly, it was hard to keep track of everything she was saying. “...and so, every so often, we have to rotate rocks from one field to the next. Each field’s soil’s a teensy bit different from each other, so doing that lets them get an even soaking of dirt minerals from each one. Dad always says…” I’d have to ask her for a condensed version later. Marble didn’t input anything herself. She seemed content just to walk between the two of us. On occasion, though, Pinkie would say something like ‘Right, Marble?’, and Marble would reply with a simple ‘Mm-hmm’. She could rival Big Mac for monosyllabic answers. As we walked, we came right up to the fence that separated the fields from the farm’s quarry. Without even thinking, I looked over...and down. My stomach flip-flopped inside me, and an unpleasant swooping feeling hit me in the chest. It was a very deep drop down, and it looked like it led to a mine. Pinkie had mentioned that Limestone had one. Thankfully, Pinkie pulled me away before my vertigo made me topple over. Speaking of Limestone, we came upon her as we continued our circuit to the rear of the farmhouse. She was arranging flattish rocks in neat rows along the ground, her brows furrowed in concentration. She was casting a critical eye over everything, nudging this rock or that every so often with her hoof or nose. She was displaying a level of obsessive-compulsion that Twilight would have envied. “Hi, Limestone,” I said, casually. “What?!” She looked up, scowling in a way that intimidated me. When she saw who it was, however, she relaxed. “Oh, it’s you guys. Sorry, but I’m trying to concentrate.” “Sorry,” I said. “I’m just curious: what exactly are you doing?” “Like I said at breakfast,” said Limestone, her eyes back on her work, “laying out the sun rocks. It’s about time, too.” “So these rocks are affected by sunlight?” I asked. “Yep,” said Limestone. “These are rocks we use in cooking, so letting them heat up in the sun brings their full flavor out.” “I see,” I said, though I’d never considered the concept of rocks having ‘full flavor’. “I’d never have been able to tell.” “It’s a knack,” said Limestone, shrugging. “Knowing the difference between rocks and how to get the best out of them’s what makes a Pie a Pie.” “Mm-hmm,” concurred Marble. “Now, do you think you guys could leave me to this? They have to sun-bake for a precise amount of time, and I can’t be a second off.” “Oh, er, right, of course,” I said. “Excuse me.” We continued on, though I glanced back at Limestone, who was now swapping the positions of two rocks. “How come she wants to work by herself?” I asked. “Limestone likes working alone,” said Pinkie. “She’s pretty stubborn that way, kinda like Dad.” “But don’t you usually help her, Marble?” “I do,” said Marble, “but she never asks me to directly. I just step in to lend a hoof, and she doesn’t say a word about it. Besides, Limestone’s never been much of a…” She paused, trying to find the right words. “Guest pony,” she finished, delicately. “She’s not very comfortable around guests,” she elaborated, seeing the blank look on my face. “Neither am I, to tell you the truth.” “Really?” I asked, bewildered. “But both of you seem just fine to me.” Marble’s gray cheeks went faintly pink. “That’s because you’re Pinkie’s friend,” she said. “And you’re the only other one here. When there’s too many ponies, I...Well, I kind of lock up, and I can barely string two words together.” “Oh, Marble, it’s fine,” said Pinkie, nuzzling up to her. “We love you just the way you are.” Marble blushed even deeper, and muttered something unintelligible. “I know the feeling, Marble, trust me,” I said. “I was always a shy kid, and I hated being out in crowds, even as a teenager. I preferred being by myself. Pinkie’s helped me start changing that, though.” Pinkie beamed. Marble gave me a small smile. “Limestone’s a little awkward around company, too,” she said. “She usually puts her farm duties first, so she’s not always in the best mood when ponies come to call.” “That’s why I call her ‘Captain Grumpy’,” said Pinkie, brightly. (How charming,) I thought, sardonically. (I’ll bet she really appreciates that.) “She’s always had a bit of a temper, even when we were foals,” said Marble, “but we all know she means well.” “I don’t doubt that,” I said. “You all seem like a very close-knit family, even if I haven’t met all of you yet.” “Oh, I’m sure Maud would love to get to know you,” said Marble. “That’s what Pinkie keeps telling me,” I said, gesturing to her with my thumb. “Next chance I get,” said Pinkie, “I’m writing to her and telling her to drop by Ponyville the next time she’s on break! She can’t spend her whole life buried under books and rocks! ...Owie, that sounds like it would really hurt. Then again, it’s Maud, so…” Marble and I exchanged looks, then had to suppress our laughter. Typical Pinkie Pie. *** After wandering around the farm and taking in what it had to offer, Pinkie and Marble took me on a walk to the nearby village. This consisted of numerous gray and tan dwellings that well matched the landscape, a marketplace, shops, and some domestic businesses, like a doctor’s office, a blacksmith’s, a bookstore, and an assayer’s. This last seemed to be the most profitable, given its appearance, which I supposed made sense, given the huge emphasis on rocks and minerals in this part of Equestria. I wondered just how much precious stuff could be found in a single chunk of Equestrian dirt. The townsfolk were all Earth ponies, their coats various shades of brown and gray. It felt like I was walking through a sepia-toned photograph. They were a fairly pleasant lot, though I did get a fresh round of gapes for being a human in their midst. I was pretty much used to it by now. Pinkie and Marble seemed to be acquainted with pretty much everypony there, as constant greetings and questions on how the family was faring were thrown their way. Marble, true to what she’d told me, clammed up and kept her eyes to the ground, letting Pinkie do all the talking. And boy, did she. “Hiya, Dr. Shale! He’s doing just dandy, thanks! Stone Spice Soup, yep-yep! Grammy says hi, Mr. Carbuncle, and she hasn’t forgotten about that last chess match you two had. Oh, congratulations, Mrs. Bismuth! What an adorable little foal! I had no idea!” The way Pinkie went on, you’d think she’d lived out here her whole life and had never left for Ponyville. A lot of these ponies must have known her when she was just a little filly. I could only imagine how happy and proud they must have been to see her again, all grown up. At last, when I’d taken a good look about me and seen what the village had in store, for when I felt like taking a walk back over, Pinkie said it was time we ought to be heading back. Frankly, I think the main reason was because her stomach was growling for some lunch. I heard it right before she’d made that decision. I said nothing about it, however, and let her lead on. I felt it sensible that I didn’t wear out the novelty of what the village had; it would still be relatively fresh when I decided to visit it again. *** After lunch back at the farm, the Pies and I settled cozily in the living room area. Limestone had rejoined us, finally satisfied that her sun rocks were all placed properly, and she had already designated a time to take them out of the heat. She and Marble were lying on the rug, while Pinkie was sitting with me on the sofa. I offered to let them use it, but they both declined, saying that, as the guests, Pinkie and I deserved it. “So, Dave,” said Igneous, “what thinketh you of our little patch of Equestria?” “Well, I have to say,” I said, “it’s more than I imagined at first. I mean, I don’t know all that much about rock farming, so I can’t be a proper judge of it.” Something sparkled in Igneous’ eye, and he sat up straighter. “Well,” he said, “if it’s knowledge of rock farming you require, look no further.” “Uh oh,” said Marble. “You’ve done it now, Dave,” muttered Limestone, in a teasingly warning tone. “Done what?” I asked, puzzled. “I, Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie, shall satiate your thirst for knowledge of the noble practice of rock farming,” said Igneous, grandly. Oh. This definitely did not bode well. I was in for a lecture, wasn’t I? Then again, I was an ambassador, and he was offering to share what he felt was an informative speech on something he was passionate about. A refusal would have been out of the question. And after all, I was a little curious to know a little more about the life Pinkie had left behind, so, why not? “Oh, for goodness sake, Igneous,” said Grammy, “I don’t think Dave wants to hear all that.” “No, no!” I said, hastily. “I do! I’d be honored, Igneous. Ever since Pinkie first mentioned being raised here, I’ve been curious to know more about rock farming.” “Well, suit yourself, dearie,” said Grammy, with a shrug. “He’s given this speech so many times, he knows it off by heart.” “Now, now, Mother,” said Igneous. “If he wants to hear, he’ll hear.” “I just wish I had a notebook handy,” I said. “I don’t want to miss anything.” “You should’ve brought your old one, silly,” said Pinkie, with a giggle. “But here, you can use this one.” And from out of her mane, she pulled out a spiral notebook, its cover the same shade of yellow as her cutie mark balloons, as well as a pen with a bobblehead on top. She grinned proudly as she handed them over to me. “Er, thanks,” I said. “You’re not the first to wish to hear how our way of life came about,” said Igneous. “I recall an odd stallion who came by years ago, who was very eager to hear the history of our farm. I haven’t seen him since. A pity; he displayed more enthusiasm for our trade than many a pony who has visited us. Well, are you ready, Dave?” “Ready and waiting, Igneous,” I said, with the notebook open to a fresh page, pen poised. “Well, then, let me see...It was many, many moons ago, when our noble ancestor, Holder Cobblestone, first came to this part of Equestria…” *** I was so lucky I had gone to the spa. If I had taken these notes with my hand still in bad shape, it might have fallen off at the wrist. Igneous spoke on and on about the Pie family legacy, how Holder Cobblestone first found Holder’s Boulder, how the farm had been built around it, how a combination of parasprite infestations and close ties to dragon culture shaped their rock-rich diet, the achievements of their foreponies, etc. Grammy hadn’t been kidding; the way he talked, it was clear he had given this speech many times before, and hadn’t grown tired of it yet. Cloudy and Grammy both sat with their eyes closed, though I couldn’t tell if they were asleep or just listening intently. As for the three Pie sisters, only Limestone looked truly awake. Marble’s eyelids were very droopy, and she kept giving a start, trying to keep them open. Pinkie was unashamedly asleep, having given up mimicking her father’s movements behind his back several minutes into the lecture. She was snoring, leaning against my side and drooling on my arm, which was both distracting and disgusting. Igneous didn’t seem to care about this lack of attention on his daughter’s part; perhaps he’d drilled this speech into the three of them so many times that he was confident they wouldn’t forget. The sun was actually beginning to set by the time Igneous finally began to wrap it up. My hand was aching all over again, and trying to shorthand his main talking points had been a real chore. I had to sift through the Ye Olde Equestrian he peppered his speech with, so more often than not, I had to ask him to repeat something so I could get it down, then decipher that into plain English. And yet, in spite of all of these frustrations, not a word of complaint escaped me. I was not about to get on Igneous’ bad side again, nor would I sully my image as a representative of the Round Table. If I could sit through Twilight’s study cram session on the train, I could sit through this. “...And that is where we stand today, and never have we forgotten our humble beginnings,” Igneous concluded. There was a sudden burst of applause from all of the family. They seemed to have snapped to attention when they heard Igneous wrapping up, and wanted to appear as though they had been listening. Igneous inclined his head in acknowledgement, then looked at a pocket watch he had just drawn out. “Egads,” he said. “It’s nearly dinnertime. Well, Dave, has that lesson given you food for thought?” “A real feast for thought, Igneous,” I said, with a rather weak smile. “I had no idea rock farming was steeped in such, er, rich history.” “Now you do,” said Igneous, proudly. “And never forget it.” (Oh, trust me, I don’t think I’ll be getting this out of my head anytime soon.) *** After dinner, I was feeling full and pretty tired, so I excused myself to lie down upstairs. Listening to Igneous drone on had drained me fairly, but part of me was glad I’d survived it. I’d stayed in his good books, and I’d set a good example as a member of the Council. Besides that, I wondered if Ironmane might not be interested in the notes I’d taken. I felt like I’d just settled myself onto my mattress when I heard hoofsteps coming upstairs. They were too slow to be recognizable as Pinkie’s. Instead, it was Marble. “Hi,” she said. “Hey there,” I said. “What are you doing up here?” “I was going to help Limestone lay out the moon rocks, since the sun rocks got all the sun they needed, but I was just too exhausted,” she said, giving off a huge yawn. “Listening to Dad talk for that long really took it out of me.” (Join the club. Also, moon rocks? Really?) “So, do you mind if I keep you company? Pinkie’s going to be a while on finishing dessert.” “No, I don’t mind,” I said, shifting over. Marble crossed over and lay down next to me, stretched out on her back, one hoof resting on her belly. She was still noticeably thinner than Pinkie, another point that would’ve made me doubt them being twins. “I think I ate too much, too,” she muttered, giving her stomach a pat or two. “But Grammy’s cooking is so good! I swear, she spoils us sometimes.” “Heh, I have a grandmother like that,” I said, chuckling. “It just means they care. At least you and Limestone can work it off doing farm work.” “Oh, sure,” said Marble. “I don’t know how Pinkie does it. She eats more sweets than all of us combined, but she’s got way more energy with no sign of crashing.” “I know,” I said. “I’m starting to learn never to question anything about her, if I don’t want to lose my mind trying to find an answer.” Marble giggled. “But I love my ‘big’ sister,” she said, contentedly, “no matter how...weird she is sometimes.” I smiled. For some time, Marble and I just lay there, side by side, staring up at the underside of the upper bunk, as though stargazing. Then, as if of it’s own accord, a question floated into my mind. “Hey, Marble?” I asked. “Hmm?” “Do you still write poetry? Pinkie told me you had a whole book full of it.” Marble looked mildly surprised. “Oh! Well, yes, I do, but, I’m not that good of a poet,” she said, modestly. “Maud’s a lot better at it than I am.” “I’d still love to hear some of it, if that’s all right,” I said. Marble hesitated. “Well, all right,” she said. “I did just write one fairly recently, so it’s still fresh on my mind. I call it, ‘Ode to a Rolling Stone’.” “I like the sound of it already,” I said, though I doubted that it had anything to do with Mick Jagger or Keith Richards. Both of us sat up, putting our backs up to the wall. Marble cleared her throat, brushed her bangs aside, and, her eyes closed, recited, “Ode to a Rolling Stone I saw you sitting on the ground With other rocks strewn all around Yet out of all of those I found You stood out alone Round as a ball, smooth as glass You had in looks what you lacked in mass I thought, ‘You really have some class I like you, little stone’ I gave you a nudge, you started to roll Like a golf ball heading for its hole Was this your plan, your aim, your goal I really should have known I kept you going, all the same And before I knew, it soon became Like some fun and foalish game To roll you, little stone But then I nudged you further still And though it was against my will That nudge sent you straight down a hill The blame was all my own Down you rolled, with all your might Until you rolled right out of sight I still wonder, was it right? Did you wish that, little stone? To this day, I still don’t know Where in Equestria you did go Through rain and hail and sleet and snow Still rolling on your own Though your leaving was a loss I won’t be sad, you’re your own boss Never may you gather moss Safe travels, little stone” She opened her eyes and looked up at me, expectantly. I just sat there, mouth hanging open. “Marble,” I breathed. “That was incredible! You thought that up yourself?” “Mm-hmm,” she mumbled, looking bashful. “Wow. That’s way better than anything I could ever think up,” I said, honestly. “Thank you. It’s more of a hobby, really. My real talent’s sculpting the rocks we farm. It’s how I got my cutie mark.” She looked down at the trio of purple marbles adorning her flank. “Wow,” I said. “And here I was thinking you were probably some undefeated champion at marbles.” Marble stared at me for a second or two, as though she didn’t think she’d heard me right, then burst into a hearty fit of giggles, to the point where she leaned over against my side as she did. I stared at her, perplexed. “Was it really that funny?” I asked. “It was just, the way you said it,” said Marble. “It’s the same way Pinkie says stuff like that: so direct that it’s hilarious. You really have hung around with her a lot.” Now I couldn’t help laughing. It was all too true, after all. For some time, Marble just leant against me, giggling. Almost reflexively, I put a friendly arm around her shoulders, partially to support her. Then, just as she was settling down, there was the sound of more hooves on the stairs, and this time, Pinkie did appear, followed by Limestone. They stopped at the sight of us, and Pinkie’s expression transitioned from mild surprise to a glowing smile. “Awwww,” she said. “Look at you two, spending some bonding time together!” Marble’s cheeks went scarlet, and she looked down at her hooves, though she didn’t try to break away. I didn’t think she ought to feel guilty for enjoying a little fun with a friend. Then again, she must’ve known better than I did how it felt for Pinkie to just bluntly pop up unexpectedly. “Heh,” chuckled Limestone, grinning. “You two having a blast up here?” Marble didn’t answer. “Ah, well, you know,” I said, giving Marble’s shoulders a light squeeze, “just a little fun between fellow art appreciators. Right, Marble?” Marble looked at me for several seconds. She was no longer blushing, and a small, gentle smile came back to her muzzle. “Mm-hmm.” Tuesday, February 19