//------------------------------//
// 3 
// Story: Gaze Into The Life of Limestone Pie 
// by Optimism 
//------------------------------//

The trip home was entirely silent, to Limestone’s relief. She had run out of comforting words for Marble, and she felt terrible. She was proud of her younger sister and still believed teaching her to stand up for herself was the best decision, but she hadn’t expected Polo would hurt her so badly.

No, she shouldn’t think like that. Most of Marble’s injuries were superficial, she was a strong mare; she was a Pie. When they arrived at the farm however, Limestone’s doubt increased. The sun was barely beginning to pierce the cloud layer, and a fine damp mist was clinging to the early morning air, but she was certain her sisters and mother were up by now.

Limestone hesitated when they arrived at the farmhouse, and gently pushed Marble into a sitting position on the porch. It would be easier to explain the situation to her family after she cleaned Marble Pie’s lip up, and she didn’t want panic or questions directed at her right now.

“Wait here, Marble.” She told her quivering sister firmly, “I’m going to get something to clean up that lip.”

Marble mumbled a faint assent through the hoof she was using to apply pressure to her bleeding lip, and Limestone Pie entered the farmhouse alone.

She heard voices coming from the living room- her mother’s tranquil tittering, and Pinkamena’s excitable prattling. Limestone avoided the sounds of conversation and entered the kitchen through the dining room, searching until she located the cupboard that contained rolls of gauze, thread, needles, and a small jug of clean water. Injuries happened on the rock farm, and since there was no hospital nearby the family usually had to make do with what was on hand. Igneous had taught Limestone how to treat minor illnesses or injuries, she knew how to make a splint, how to stitch a deep cut, and how to feel for a break in a bone.

However, she couldn’t help but think that her first aid skills wouldn’t be getting tested now if Marble hadn’t gotten hurt. There had been no way around it, though. It had been for the best, even if she didn’t like seeing her younger sister get hurt. She had to learn how to stand up on her own.

Limestone trotted back towards the door with a needle between her teeth, and a bundle clutched in one leg with a roll of gauze, a ball of thread, the jug of clean water, and a wiping cloth. As she reached for the door the sound of a hoof being put down made her freeze in her tracks, a cold tingle traveling up the length of her spine. 

“What are you doing, Limestone?” Maud asked, suddenly making her presence behind Limestone Pie known. She had seen Limestone enter the dining room out of the corner of her eye from the living room, and followed her. Now she caught sight of the contents of her sister’s bundle when she turned, the needle she was carrying, and Limestone wasn’t hurt. All that ran through Maud’s head in the time it took her to blink slowly once.

“What happened to Marble?” She asked.

Limestone couldn’t answer with the needle in her teeth and didn’t want to anyways, narrowing her eyes. She gestured with a tilt of her head for Maud to follow her as she pushed the door open and stepped outside. 

Maud stepped outside a moment later and saw Marble Pie. Her eyebrows raised a full inch, and her jaw clenched imperceptibly. Limestone Pie put the bundle down and grabbed the ball of thread, managing to put a strand through the eye of the needle with extreme difficulty after her sixth try. It was a moment when she envied the finesse unicorns enjoyed thanks to their magic, which allowed them to make precise movements like this one with small objects almost effortlessly.

“Maud, help me.” She ordered, and Maud was there immediately.

Limestone drew close to Marble Pie, who was still quivering uncontrollably, an eye and a cheek swollen, drops of blood and tears still running down her hoof. She carefully pried Marble’s hoof off of her lip and examined the cut, which ran almost an entire inch down and was still weeping red.

“I need you to hold Marble still.” She told Maud, and Maud obeyed, holding Marble’s head firmly, but gently.

“Marble, this is going to hurt.” Limestone Pie said as reassuringly as she could in her hoarse voice. “Just stay still, and I’ll try to be quick.”

Marble Pie whimpered in reply, and Limestone carefully put the needle between her front hooves, starting the suturing. Her greatest anxiety was hurting her little sister, even though she’d done this before and liked to think she was more proficient at it than even her own mother by now. To Marble’s credit, and Limestone’s approval, she kept her trembling hooves down, even when she felt the cold needle worming through her lip, and didn’t utter another sound during the procedure.

After many tense minutes, Limestone finally cut the thread with a snap of her teeth and sat back after washing Marble’s lip with a cloth damp with cool water. “It’s done.” She told Maud, suddenly exhausted, and Maud immediately let go of Marble Pie and rounded on her accusingly, though her passive expression never changed. “What happened, Limestone?” She demanded in a neutral tone.

“Marble Pie stood up to some bullies at the Nickerlite schoolhouse.” Limestone Pie explained sourly, looking down at her hooves in dismal wonder at the brown stains left by her younger sister’s blood; her baby sis. 

Maud drew back, turning her head to look at Marble Pie, her eyelashes lifting in astonishment, then turned back to Limestone. “You knew she was being bullied, and you didn’t say anything to us?”

“She had to stand up on her own.” Limestone snapped back suddenly, rising from her seated position to glower up at her taller and broader, but younger sister. “And maybe if you and Pinkamena stopped by to visit the farm more than a few times a year you’d have known too. But that’s not how it is. I run the farm with ma and pa. I figured out Marble was in trouble. It was my business, and I got it taken care of. End of story.”

Thinking the conversation over, Limestone attempted to pass her sister, but Maud shifted into her path. Limestone glared up at her and was about to snap out a demand that Maud get out of her way when Maud spoke again.

“But Limestone, why didn’t you tell us? We’re family.” Maud said in the closest she could come to a tone of injured humility.

Limestone Pie froze, her stern façade crumbling to give way to uncertainty. “She had to stand up on her own.” She repeated more quietly. “It was the right thing to do.”

“But why didn’t you tell us what you were thinking of doing?” Maud repeated with her dull passion. “I know Pinkamena and I aren’t always here for you and Marble, but I love you both, Limestone. You’re my sisters, and not telling me Marble Pie was being bullied is like telling me you don’t trust me.”

Marble Pie looked glumly up from her seat at her two sisters, her swollen cheek, stitched lip, and black eye creating such a pitiable image that when Limestone Pie saw her she felt an irrational urge to cry, but she choked the emotions down forcefully and turned back to Maud, arguing all the more fervently because she suspected she was wrong.

“It’s not that.” She snapped, feeling the rolling tempest of her temper begin to swell up with waves of anger. “It’s that you’re hardly ever here. Marble is my responsibility, I didn’t want her to get hurt, but she had to stand up for herself. I don’t want her to grow up with the other colts and fillies thinking they can walk all over her, or take things that belong to her, or give her guff without retaliation. Don’t you get that?”

Maud nodded slowly, “I know, Limestone, but Marble’s not like you. She’s not a fighter, and she doesn’t have that strength. She’s quiet, demure, thoughtful, and imaginative. I know I’m not here all of the time, but I know that.”

Limestone’s head was beginning to feel heavy, confidence in her actions crumbling and her temper cooling over to be replaced by shame, but then Maud added something that made her shoulders grow tense and teeth grind.

“Not all of us are trying to prove we’re as good as a stallion to impress father.”

Maud immediately realized she’d made a mistake, an incorrect calculation on the emotional equation in the atmosphere that had shattered the foundation of communication she’d been attempting to construct, and she blinked, trying to think of how she could restore the situation.

Then Limestone Pie spoke in a low, menacing growl, her ears fully flattened in aggression as the knotted muscles in her shoulders twitched and writhed with suppressed rage. “Get out of my way, Maud. I need space, or I might do something I’ll regret.”

Without waiting for Maud to reply, she forcefully shouldered her way past her larger sister, and Maud let her go, realizing she’d destroyed any chance of Limestone being open about her emotions, at least for now. She would need to wait for Limestone’s explosive temper to subside, but she was patient.

Marble tapped her side, getting her attention. Her younger sister pointed at Limestone with a hoof, who entered the silo and shut the door forcefully behind herself, and looked up at Maud for answers.

Maud gently stroked Marble Pie’s head. “I don’t know, Marble.” She said, “I’m trying to find out what’s bothering her.” She sat next to Marble Pie and pulled a small stone out of her front pocket, balancing it delicately on one large hoof. “I made a mistake, Boulder.” She said mournfully in her toneless voice.

Marble Pie looked at the silo wistfully. It was no secret among the four sisters that much in the way Pinkamena and Maud were inseparable, she shared a closer kinship with Limestone than her other two siblings. She admired the boisterous fearlessness of her eldest sister, the snap in her sharp voice when bartering for a better price at the market, her proficiency in helping Igneous Rock Pie lay out the harvest plans, the effortless strength and endurance she harnessed while working in the mine. 

Limestone was a doer on the rock farm: when she put her mind to something she did it. If she wanted to sculpt, she sculpted; if there was work to be done she made sure to delegate the responsibility to someone or to do it herself. The erosion of their spartan lifestyle on the spirit seemed to pass her by, leaving her virile and dogged with determination to continue rather than bitter and afflicted with want for better things. She’d taken the loss of Pinkamena and Maud’s regular help on the farm in stride, and although Marble remembered crying like a foal when Pinkamena left for the first time many years ago, and weeping into her pillow the night after Maud left to begin studying for her rocktorate, Limestone hadn’t shed a tear on either occasion.

That was why Marble found this outburst particularly disturbing: she’d never seen Limestone lose her temper in such a scalding manner. Maud had said something that had hurt Limestone, Marble Pie realized, perhaps in a different way than how Polo had hurt her outside the schoolhouse, but caused her pain nonetheless. She kept thinking about it, unable to come to terms with the stark reality that one she had thought invulnerable could be hurt by something as simple as words, weapons that wounded Marble Pie but that she’d thought Limestone Pie to be impervious to. Even after Maud walked into the farmhouse and returned to rub a dollop of arnica on the swollen parts of Marble’s face tenderly, she kept thinking about it.


***


Limestone’s head felt like it was going to burst, like a rotten, raw explosive belch. Her temples were on fire, and when she split another flimsy log of dying wood she’d collected a week ago, the splinters that stuck in her bare leg only fueled her rage. The wood was worthless, since the family had stocked up on firewood for winter months in advance, thanks to her, which made this surplus material an ideal object for stress relief. After all, all she could do was snap, crack, and demolish it into smaller pieces that would burn more easily.

It wasn’t until she smashed one thick length of wood so hard that her leg became stuck in it, imbedded up to the knee, that she slowed down. Her chest heaving and muscles aching, she pulled her leg out, the skin under the fur chafed raw and a few bare patches visible. There were more splinters, but she ignored them, and let herself fall backwards onto her back, looking up at the ceiling of the silo, but seeing nothing.

Maud. Why? She must have done it on purpose; there was no other explanation. Her jaw clenched just thinking about what her sister had said.

I know it’s true, Doubt said in her mind.

Shut up, you useless bastard. Pride snarled right back. I’m not trying to prove anything, I AM as good as a stallion. I might as well be the brother of this family, if only I wasn’t a mare.

But you’re not a stallion, Doubt retorted smugly. That’s just the way it is.

Shut up, shut up. Pride bellowed, pacing back and forth in the confines of Limestone’s mind. It makes no difference. I’m as good as one. That’s all that matters.

Of course it makes no difference. Doubt agreed sarcastically from the dark corners he was confined to, eyes glinting in amusement. I’m in the silo breaking wood in anger for no reason; Maud’s words had nothing to do with it. I’m completely sure of myself and have no insecurities.

She shouldn’t have said that, Pride declared, lumbering back and forth, ignoring the sarcasm, her eyes two blazing coals. She’s got no right to judge me, no right to tell me who I am. She barely even comes here anymore. Who does she think she is?

I think she knows me a lot better that I do. Doubt replied, stepping closer to the light, his eyes glowing more intensely.

Shut up; just go away. I’ll thrash you if you don’t shut up.

I need me, without me I’d never listen anyone. I’d be in a nuthouse already.

That’s not true, you just make me weak. Get out. Get the hell out and don’t come back. I don’t need you; I’ve never needed you.

If that’s what I want, but when I need me again, and I will, I’ll be back.

Limestone’s inner thoughts receded and she became dimly aware of her surroundings again. Her rage had left her, and now she felt strangely ill, sick to her stomach, dizzy, and when she rolled over, unable to stand. She looked down at her left foreleg, it was full of splinters, and a few that had come loose were oozing. Annoyed, she lowered her neck and began to pluck the splinters out with her teeth, wincing when she yanked out a larger one that had sunk deep into the skin, and clung to it in defiance before being extracted.

She lay back on the floor of the silo and did something she didn’t do often; she began to think about her faults. There were some that were meager, so minute that they could be ignored, like class. She didn’t even know what class was, but she knew that residents of Canterlot did, she knew that they were aware that they had it and she did not. They could quantify it, measure it exactly, and determine the significance of a pony based on the amount of class they had alone within seconds. Limestone didn’t particularly care about class, though. Her ignorance about it prevented her from knowing if it was something worth having, so she hardly considered that a fault.

There were other things however, like education. Maud had education, and it made Limestone deeply envious, though she’d never told Maud. She was certain Maud knew, and she almost certainly thought herself superior to Limestone for having it. Limestone knew education was valuable because she’d chosen not to pursue it and couldn’t help but come to think as the years passed that she’d made a grave mistake. Education was a key that opened many doors, and she was distinctly aware, now that she was older, that those doors were all closed to her without that key. Military service was closed to her, higher end jobs in the larger cities of Equestria were closed to her, and opportunities to travel abroad were closed to her.

That was one fault that was a permanent bruise on her pride, and she regretted it so dearly that she checked every night to make sure Marble did her schoolwork and monitored her academic progress so closely she almost instantly recognized the signs that something was wrong a month ago when Marble came home early from the schoolhouse and refused to say why. Limestone remembered that she’d given her an extra helping of carrot stew, but Marble hadn’t even taken a nibble or sip.

Marble Pie. She looked down at the dried reddish-brown stains on her front hooves again and was ashamed. She told herself that she treated all of her sisters equally, but that wasn’t true. She had a soft spot of understanding and patience that she only showed to her youngest sister. It had probably begun to develop as early as when Pinkamena left the rock farm with stars in her eyes and party plans in her head. Until then she’d been able to fool herself that the family was inseparable, that all of them would always be together to support each other on the farm. Pinkamena’s absence had been a long one, and when she returned to share tales of adventures traveled, sweets devoured, and threats to Equestria vanquished, Limestone couldn’t help but become resentful. 

Before Pinkamena had shared her exotic, exciting, colorful experiences Limestone had been able to kid herself that things weren’t so bad on the rock farm, that life there wasn’t plain, boring, exhausting, or taxing- it had just been normal. Pinkamena had changed that, she had made Limestone Pie realize that there were better experiences to be had afar. She’d tried to be happy for Pinkamena when she left, not that her pink, energetic sister had ever really seemed like she belonged on the farm, but it became increasingly difficult not to become resentful when she returned to share stories.

She recalled, humorously, that once long ago she had asked her parents if Pinkamena was adopted. Her ma had smiled dimly and looked away while pa had assured her Pinkamena was her sister by blood. Limestone had never been convinced, and Pinkamena’s premature exit from the farm only seemed to confirm her suspicion.

Maud had left not too long after Pinkamena. Limestone had tried to convince her to stay and Marble had let fall a shower of tears when Maud declared during supper one evening that she wanted to go and study rocks at university. Nothing had swayed Maud, who was immovable as ever, and the next day her bags were gone and so was she, leaving another empty bunk. The loss of two sisters had shaken Limestone’s faith in the family bonds pa had told her were unbreakable, so she spent more time with Marble Pie, was more patient with her, offered her more food, and looked out for her. 

Or at least… she tried to look out for her. Limestone wondered again if pushing Marble Pie to stand up to her bullies had been the right choice.

Marble Pie still had a lot to hope for; she had great potential. Pa had said that and Limestone agreed, but she couldn’t help but hope that maybe, just maybe Marble Pie would consider staying on the rock farm. That was unrealistic though, and she knew it. She was sure Marble Pie had dreams about life outside, or grand ambitions, even if she’d never shared them with Limestone.

Destiny- what was Limestone’s destiny? Helping her parents work on the farm had become her full-time job, and she couldn’t even imagine returning to school now. If there were several consecutive years of good harvests she might be able to set aside enough bits to consider buying up some outside help when her parents became too tired to continue the physical toil that the farm demanded, because it would be too much for her to do alone. Limestone could read in the dark circles beneath her mother and father's eyes, in the fading colors of their manes, in the longer times they spent asleep, that such a day was coming soon. Pies were strong, but they weren’t eternal, and having Marble at her side would help ease the burden. It was just-

Then Limestone was crying and she didn’t even understand why. The first sob shook her, and then another. It was just difficult. Marble Pie’s presence helped her keep her temper in check, and she wasn’t even sure if Igneous would pass the farm to her unless she was married and there was Pinkamena with her stories about better things and Maud with her far superior intelligence and Marble who barely uttered a word no matter how gently or roughly Limestone attempted to coax her to speak more and to be better so she’d have a future and she knew some day soon her parents wouldn’t be able to work so she couldn’t bear to lose Marble Pie abruptly too and she didn’t want to go to the choosing stone, she should be able to own the farm property without having to give it up to a husband in wedlock and she didn’t have the education to go elsewhere and the eldest shouldn't feel so helpless when she was supposed to be the strongest, the most independent- it was all too much.

Limestone cried bitterly, releasing an inner agony that had been chafing her spirit for far too long. Every time she tried to stop another trouble assailed her and another sob choked her. She cried until the whites of her lime-colored eyes were beet red and still couldn’t stop. She didn’t hear the door to the silo squeak open an inch, and didn’t notice the lavender eye that peered inside.

Marble was so aghast that she froze in her tracks. Limestone was crying. Her oldest sister was crying. She drew back from the door, sliding away in astonishment, her mane falling over her good eye once again. She’d never seen Limestone cry, even when she’d pulled cartloads for Maud and dislocated her shoulder she hadn’t cried. She wanted to fly to her sister’s side and comfort her, ask her what was wrong, but she felt like she was intruding and soon her courage left her, so she turned from the silo door and walked away.