//------------------------------// // 26. Deep Memories // Story: Trials of a Royal Guard // by Anzel //------------------------------// Ancient shut-in unicorns are as difficult to shop with as fillies. At least, that was the opinion that Crystal and I shared after spending some time attempting to help Exemplar Ferrel achieve her goal of planning and executing a birthday party for Myree. The balloons had been taken care of before we’d gotten to her, so we started with the cake. We thought that would be the easiest, given our connection to Sunridge Sweets. In truth, as far as the cake portion went, that was indeed pretty easy. The less easy part was when Exemplar Ferrel had asked to hold Red Velvet and Sunbeam had eagerly agreed. We just couldn’t warn her in time. Red had been fascinated by the unicorn with balloons tied to her horn. The whole time she held him, she’d just stared off into space on one of her visions while he wiggled and wagged his hooves. When she’d joined us back in the now, she’d promptly declared that the colt was exceedingly important and would either be a magnificent king or date a grumpy pony for years. Either way, she was pretty sure he was a very important foal. Suffice to say, while it was a positive vision, it had weirded Sunbeam out completely. She’d stuffed a cake in a box after writing “Happy Birthday Myree. Consider Muffins Next Year.” To which Ferrel had commented that it was a lovely suggestion and that Myree frequently ate muffins in the morning. Our next hurdle was then finding the appropriate pointy-pony. Crystal had been correct: almost every store had them. Although they were mostly stores that catered to fillies, colts, and younger adults. When we got into Forever Filly, Exemplar Ferrel could not remotely grasp the fashion area nor the various other things available. It had been hard to keep her on task to pick a pointy-pony. The unicorn had touched each and every one three times before she decided on a white pegasus stallion with a blue mane and a yellow unicorn mare with an orange mane. She also bought a pink sitting pillow that had “Juicy” written on it in silver sparkles. I’m not sure why. By the time Crystal and I got her back to the temple grounds, it felt like we’d been gone for hours. So many hours, in fact, I was sure I’d missed my appointment. Somehow, in the reality I thought I knew well, the ordeal had ended up only being about two hours. There was still plenty of time before my appointment. “It has been an interesting day shopping with you, Exemplar. I’m certain Myree’s party will go well. Take care,” I said as we backed away from the gate. “Take care? Silent Knight and Crystal Wishes, you have spent much of your time aiding me in this challenge. I insist that you must stay for the party.” Crystal and I exchanged glances. I knew what she was thinking: to refuse an invitation to a private party would have been very rude. Of course, to escape would have been the smartest thing to do. I nibbled on my lip. My wife, on the other hoof, smiled brightly and replied, “That would be lovely. I’ve never been in the temple grounds before. Though we won’t be able to stay too long, as I have to get Silent to his appointment.” Exemplar Ferrel nodded firmly. “Agreed. Welcome, then, Crystal Wishes, to the temple grounds.” Using her magic, the blonde unicorn pushed the doors open and trotted in. All of the balloons tied to her horn bobbed along behind her. “Oh!” Crystal said softly as she looked through the opening. At first, I’d thought she’d been amazed by the beauty of the garden but then quickly suspected that wasn’t the case. She was probably surprised by the fact there were ten fully armored temple guards and about twenty or so other ponies in robes looking incredibly relieved as the exemplar trotted in. One of them, a lithe mare with a pearl-colored coat and a short-cropped mane, trotted over. “Exemplar! We’re so happy to see you back. We’ve been so worried.” Exemplar Ferrel’s head tilted. “Worried? Whatever for?” “You’ve been gone since yesterday!” the mare exclaimed. The exemplar shook her head. “This is not so. I left after lunch. I have found Silent Knight and Crystal Wishes. We’ve been together no more than half an hour.” Crystal lightly cleared her throat and shook her head “no” when all of the other ponies looked at her. The mare idly rubbed one forehoof on the other. “Exemplar, forgive me, but you’ve been gone since lunch yesterday. Where did you sleep last night? Exemplar Forest was about to order all of the guards to the streets to find you.” “Sleep? I do vaguely recall a vision where I settled onto a bench for a few minutes to rest my eyes. I was exhausted after having been swarmed by a class of foals. So many foals, so many destinies. “They were quite cute, though. I believe a field trip from the School for Gifted Unicorns. Then I found Silent Knight and Crystal Wishes. They have helped me prepare for your surprise birthday party. Surprise.” Crystal idly nudged me and whispered, “So that is Myree?” “I only know her name but, yes, that seems likely.” Myree blinked and then gasped. “All of this was because you left to plan a birthday party for me?” “I did. You have had a busy year and I felt it would bring you cheer. Is it not customary to celebrate the birthdays of young ponies? Admittedly, I have not been your age for a couple of centuries, but I imagine things do not change so often.” “It is! That is just so sweet of you. I just… next time, perhaps, you should take another pony with you? To help you carry everything?” The exemplar nodded. “Agreed. Though in this case I have conscripted two ponies to do just that. Crystal Wishes carries with her a cake and Silent Knight has enough burdens already but is a welcome sight.” Myree cleared her throat. “Well… alright then. Why don’t we all go into the meeting hall so we can enjoy this impromptu surprise party.” Myree lightly set a hoof on the exemplar’s foreleg before urging her into the temple gardens. “Yes, that would be a suitable place. I have invited Silent Knight and Crystal Wishes to stay for the party as they have been instrumental in the collection of the requested items. You should meet them. They are nice ponies.” She then started off in the direction of what I could only assume was the meeting hall. All of the other ponies started to follow after her with various expressions of amusement and relief. Myree lingered for a moment. “Thank you for bringing the exemplar back.” “Quite all right, I know how she is. Happy birthday,” I replied. Myree softly laughed. “It was two weeks ago, but the thought is nice. I suppose we’d better go to the party? Well… gathering, I guess. I’m not sure what her idea of a party is.” Crystal started trotting off after the crowd. “Oh, yes! I think that is something I very much want to see.” I followed as well, but not as eagerly. Myree kept pace with me and the two of us fell further and further behind. Eventually, I looked over and asked, “You’re the priestess that can summon food, right?” She nodded. “Yup! Priestess Myree the Breadnado.” “Breadnado?” “It is a nickname the guards gave me after I pelted a bunch of them with bread in a tent. I don’t always have the best control of my magic.” “Ah, I remember that story. It is still an amazing ability.” As we followed along the simple trail into the wooded part of the garden, Myree shrugged. “Conjuration is my talent. I don’t know if it’s amazing.” “You make something out of nothing. That is pretty impressive.” She shook her head. “No, I make something out of magical energy. Something out of nothing is impossible. It all comes from somewhere.” “Oh… well, where does magical energy come from?” “Philosophically, that is up for debate. Some ponies think the energy is generated by all living things. The planets, the animals, and even ponies. It is a pervasive force that surrounds us and penetrates us. “And there seems to be some evidence for that. A unicorn exhausts herself by using magical energy. The more we use, the faster we run ourselves down. It takes time to build it back up. So, it kind of makes sense that we generate some.” “What do other ponies think?” I asked. “A lot of different things, but a common belief in the temple is that all magical energy is granted by the alicorns of old.” “I see. I guess we’ll never know.” Myree shook her head. “Probably not. Although, if anypony figures it out, it will be Exemplar Ferrel. If only she remembers to tell everypony else. Anyway, that is where we’re going.” She pointed a hoof into a small glen. The meeting hall was unassuming, like all of the other buildings within the grounds. It was sunken into the earth with most of the windows set high on the walls. Skylights also dotted the roof. The double doors that led inside were propped open and soothing string music was flowing out. I glanced around, a thought occurring to me: I hadn't seen Tranquil Dusk in the crowd. “Do you know Tranquil Dusk? Is she somewhere else on the grounds, perhaps?” The mare’s ears wiggled slightly before flattening. “I know her. She’s really nice, but she left once the exarch decided to take the temple to the war. She didn’t feel comfortable with that decision. I haven’t heard from her since, but I’m sure she’s fine. She had quite the adventurous spirit.” That wasn’t a surprise in the least. Wherever she was, I hope she’d found peace. “I understand. In any case, we better not keep the exemplar waiting. ” “True… well, this should be fun,” Myree whispered before trotting through the doors. “Surprise, happy birthday!” the temple ponies cheered. Myree sat back and threw her forehooves to her face. “Oh, my! I am legitimately surprised we are celebrating my birthday today!” Exemplar Ferrel clapped her hooves together. “Excellent, my mission was a success. Now, I believe the first order of business is cake?” I leaned in the doorway, watching curiously. It never occurred to me that temple ponies lived normal lives. At least I’m sure most of them did. I doubted that exemplar Ferrel had anything close. “Yes, Exemplar, cake would be great. Before we do that, though…” Myree went over to the ancient unicorn and carefully untied the balloons from her horn. “I assume these are for me?” “Oh… yes. I keep forgetting about those. Now the cake! Crystal Wishes, if you’ll please present it.” Right on cue, Crystal levitated the cakebox from her back and over to Myree, flipping the top open. A slow smile crossed the unicorns face before she started to giggle. “I do like muffins.” While cake was awkwardly portioned out, I settled on one of the stone benches inside of the hall. There weren’t any plates or napkins, since the party hadn’t actually been planned. Ponies were just using levitation and hooves to enjoy the treat. I guessed that this wasn’t the purpose of the meeting hall. It was one large, circular room with four aisles, one in each cardinal direction. Curved stone benches got progressively larger the further from the center they were. In the very middle was a raised dais. Without any doubt, this was like a squad room where important ponies addressed their subordinates. How many times had the exemplar stood on that dais, staring off into space while everypony around her politely waited? Crystal came over, settled on the bench beside me, and leaned in close to snuggle. “How’re you doing?” “A bit tired. Hoping I can get a good night of sleep tonight. This has been a pretty exhausting day thus far.” My wife softly stroked my mane and winked. “I’m sure you’ll get some sleep. It won’t be long before Princess Luna figures everything out.” “Yeah…” To be honest, I was deeply concerned that she wasn’t able to see my nightmare to begin with. I was just keeping that to myself so that Crystal wouldn’t worry. “Silent Knight is not sleeping?” the exemplar asked as she appeared over Crystal’s shoulder. How could she have possibly heard? Crystal practically jumped and shifted to the other side of me. “Oh! Well, yes. He’s been having nightmares.” “From the war?” I nodded. “Yes, some from the war. I mean, kind of. I assume that is what is bringing them on. It is all kind of muddled. I wake up and the memories of it slip away pretty quickly.” “Usually in his sleep, he just tosses and turns, mumbling about nightmares,” Crystal put in. Exemplar Ferrel stood still looking off into space a moment before she tapped a hoof against my head. “The memories are still there. If you wish, I could retrieve them and then you could look at what is forgotten. This may assist you in determining the cause. Only if you are willing, though.” That was a creepy prospect. I shook my head. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not sure I want my memories poked through. How would you know the nightmare from my regular memories?” The unicorn’s head tilted. “I wouldn’t. You would, though. You would be the pony to sift out the nightmares from reality. I’d merely be observing and transcribing.” Crystal lightly poked me with a hoof. “It couldn’t hurt… wait, will it hurt? Can it hurt him?” The exemplar shook her head no. “Not physically.” I sighed. “I know I’m going to regret this, but all right. If it means I might potentially find out a way to start sleeping well again. How do we do it?” “I’ll need to go get some memory crystals from the exarch’s office. Then all that is left is a spell and some patience,” she explained. That seemed too simple. Magic was never that simple. I looked up at all the ponies idly chatting while also keeping an eye on the three of us. Right… this was supposed to be a party. “What about the birthday party? Don’t you want to give Myree her gift?” The exemplar froze a moment and then blinked. “Yes. You are most wise, Silent Knight.” She wheeled and loudly announced, “Myree! I have a gift for you.” That sudden shift startled everypony. Some of them even jumped slightly in surprise and one poor mare caught a face full of cake. Myree flushed and stared. Eventually, she found her voice. “That is very sweet of you, Exemplar. You didn’t have to.” “It is only customary,” Exemplar Ferrel replied before reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out the small, silver-wrapped box she’d had the ponies packaged in. Of course, by she, I actually meant Crystal. Crystal had insisted that Ferrel couldn’t just give the ponies as is. Myree accepted the gift in her own magic and levitated it over. “What a pretty gift!” She carefully unwrapped it and lifted the lid. “Oh! This is not something I expected at all.” As gently as she could, she lifted the white and blue pointy-pony out of the box and admired it as if it were a precious jewel. “Thank you, Exemplar! How did you know?” Exemplar Ferrel said plainly, “Though I am frequently absent, when I do observe, I observe well. Your eyes were oft drawn to these ponies as you looked out from the wall. I thought you might like to have some of your own.” The lithe priestess held both of them against her chest with a single forehoof. “I… thank you. This is so thoughtful.” She carefully set the ponies down on one of the stone benches and wiped at the corner of her eye. “Have I misunderstood? If these are not correct, we may exchange them for other pointy-ponies,” Ferrel said, stepping towards Myree, her horn lighting. “NO!” Myree threw a hoof over the pair. “I mean… no, I want these. Very much. It’s… I’ve just never had anything of my own is all. I mean… things for pleasure like this. Toys, I guess. It’s a bit overwhelming that you cared enough to notice and then actually go out to get them.” The exemplar smiled. It was a rare and beautiful sight. A sincere smile from the heart, not the fake one often leveled by Canterlot ponies. “Then I’m glad I did. Enjoy them, Myree. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go and collect something for Silent Knight.” And just like that she was gone. Myree crouched by the bench with her pointy-ponies and just stared at them. Crystal was subtly wiping her eyes. I looped my good wing around her. I related to Myree. My father was not big on toys. At least not ones that served no purpose. A wooden sword was okay. Something like a pointy-pony, though? No. Nothing remotely close to a doll. Winterspear had been allowed one. Only one. The other temple guards and priests stood around awkwardly as if trying to figure out if the party was over. The exemplar had pretty much rushed the whole thing. Not that anypony seemed surprised by that. “So, Myree… I apologize for running the exemplar off on my behalf and ruining your party.” “Oh, no. That’s okay. None of us were expecting this today. We were gearing up for a citywide Exemplar hunt. This is, without a doubt, the best possible outcome. We can attend to our normal duties now. Thank you again for returning her safely.” She stood back up and levitated her pointy-ponies onto her back. “Alright, everypony. Thank you for coming, as weird as this turned out to be. It was incredibly sweet and I hope we can do it again next year. Let’s get back to work!” The music came to a stop as a phonograph was shut off and, one by one, they all trotted over, gave Myree their best wishes, and then went off to presumably do whatever tasks they should have been doing before. Myree was the last to go and she had a smile on her face. “This was fun. I’m really glad it was the two of you that found the exemplar. I’ll see you around, I’m sure!” My ears shot up. “Don’t tell me you can see the future, too?” She giggled and shook her head. “No, but I know the exemplar likes you. She talks about you more than anypony else. I’m sure you’ll be back. You and Crystal Wishes. See you later!” The priestess trotted out, leaving the two of us alone in the meeting hall. “Well, that was awkward,” Crystal said with a sigh. “Uh-huh.” I settled onto my back, enjoying the feel of the cool stone. “You can’t hang around too long. Mindful Soul will be looking for you.” “I know, but I have some time. Besides, you’re the one that agreed with Ferrel on this little trip into my brain.” Crystal came over and settled her chin on my chest. “Yeah, I guess I did. I didn’t necessarily think it through. I just want you to get better.” A large yawn escaped me and I just nodded in agreement. We waited in silence together, just enjoying the gentle touch and companionship. Minutes dragged on to an hour. Not long after, the sound of tentative hooves on stone drew my attention to the door. Exemplar Ferrel stood there, looking blankly into the hall. I cleared my throat. “Exemplar?” She did not respond. Crystal blinked and shook her head at the sound of my voice. Evidently, she’d caught a small nap. I rolled over and stood. “Exemplar Ferrel?” Again no reply. It was another minute or so before she blinked and looked at me without recognition. “Exemplar Ferrel. Did you find the memory crystals?” “Yes. How did you know about them?” she asked. I motioned out the door. “You left about an hour ago to get them. You said you needed them to capture my memories.” Her eyes followed my hoof and then realization dawned on her. “Oh, yes. Yes, I did. I have them. It would be best if you were seated.” Crystal trotted over to my side as I settled onto the stone floor. The exemplar looked… less like her normal self. Perhaps even upset, though not distraught. “Are you alright?” “I am well.” She flipped her saddlebag open and levitated a small, cylindrical crystal from it. Unlike the ones I’d seen before, it was neither cloudy white, grey, nor pure black. It was almost transparent. “So… how does this work? You cast a spell, look at Silent’s memories, and transcribe them into the crystal?” Crystal asked. The exemplar gave a nod. “Yes, the spell is simple, really. Normally the pony using it would focus on the memory they wish to preserve and record it into the crystal. It is complicated when used on another pony. “Silent must want to give the memory to the crystal, else the experience is… awful. It is taking… a violation. Such magic must never be practiced.” And suddenly this not painful, mundane spell sounded terrifying. “Wait. I don’t remember the memory. How can I willingly give something I don’t remember?” “You do not need to know specifically. You must simply be willing to share memories. Those that you do not wish to share, refuse. Any that you might not be aware of but are not closed to the spell will be swept up. Thus why you do not need to recall.” What? I didn’t fully understand. How would I know how to refuse or accept? Did I just think it? “I’m not su—“ “Will you see his memories as it happens, or will they just end up in the crystal?” Crystal asked. “I must see them to transcribe them. He cannot do the spell on his own. Well, I do not believe he can. Pegasi are not known for their magic, although that never stopped Nocturna.” Wait, what? I lifted a hoof, but my wife’s focus was clearly not on what the exemplar had so casually said. Crystal’s ears wiggled. “Can… Can I help? I don’t know much about magic. That isn’t my talent, but… I know more than he does. Is there some way I can assist him?” “Yes, you may assist me with the spell by lending magical energy. You are familiar with your mate and know his mind. Perhaps you can help guide my search and make him feel more comfortable. I imagine he is more in tune with the touch of your magic.” “Uh… wait, can we go back to the part about Nocturna?” I put in. Exemplar Ferrel took the crystal within her magical grasp and floated it between us. “Alright, Silent Knight, I want you to just empty your mind. Try not to focus on memories you don’t want me to see. “Fear not, I cannot see them without your permission. Though if you focus on them, I will bump into them. That is when you’ll know whether or not to let me through. It would be easier to not think of things you don’t want me to see, though.” Had she not heard me? “Wait, w—“ Without warning, my brain was filled with images of my wedding night, nights of not-cuddling with Crystal, and several other saucy things. “Crystal Wishes, reach out with your magic and surround the crystal. It will be your focus. I’ll find your energy that way and channel it with me.” “Are we sure—“ And without warning, everything went white. My head was filled with Crystal Wishes and all of the things we did in private. I felt a little pressure… as if my entire being was being squeezed. Exemplar Ferrel’s voice drifted by. “Silent Knight, I said don’t focus on the things you don’t want me to transcribe. Please try something else.” Easy for her to say! Okay… think… think… how about when I woke up to Crystal in the hospital? The image faded into my vision. It was fuzzy and unclear, but the gist of it was there. All through my eyes. I felt the pressure again, but it drifted away as I chose not to resist it. “Very good. We’ll consider this a good starting place. Now, I need you to lose focus. We will wander your memories. As they come to mind you can choose to stop us or let us in. If you remain focused on this memory, we will remain here.” That was easy for her to say. How do you simply not remember something? Okay, Silent, you can do this. I cleared my mind trying not to remember anything. Just focus on now. Right now, I’m sitting on a stone floor waiting to go to my appointment. “Very good…” Idle memories started to flip past me. The party, shopping with Ferrel, my meeting with Princess Luna. They were all just like paintings on a wall. Then I saw them! The burning unicorns. The Night Mares were staring at me through what seemed like a mirror. The pressure started to build. I gave in and chose not to resist. I had to resist, though! Resisting the Night Mare’s was beyond important. Where was I? How was I here again? I struggled violently against the fiery tendrils that had bound my legs. Every movement burned me, but the alternative was far, far worse. Getting away was what was most important. My heart started to hammer in my chest. I remember this now! Every detail here. These Night Mares were chasing me. They wanted Dread Knight. They needed somepony that could do what I did. They needed— All of a sudden, other memories started racing through my mind. There was no control, no stopping them. They were all of Dread Knight’s actions during the war when Silent had retreated into his mind to hide. All of the horrible memories I’d repressed and thought lost were displayed around me. “No!” Somewhere, somepony else screamed. It was a horrible scream. The scream of a mare. “No! Let me out!” I flailed about as gruesome death after gruesome death crossed my vision. The world suddenly collapsed and I found myself on the stone floor, heart racing. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It was real! It had all happened. I’d done all of that. My eyes found my wife and I knew. I knew immediately that she’d seen it all, too. She was staring at me with tear-filled eyes and a horrified look. I reached a hoof towards her. She stumbled back in panic. “Wait!” I called but she turned and galloped out into the garden. “Crystal! Wait!” I shouted after her as I clumsily got to my hooves and followed. No! She couldn’t have seen that! She shouldn’t have seen that! I had to find her, I had to explain. I wouldn’t make it without her. Crystal, please… please don’t hate me.