YAHES 2: Season of Chaos
By: Bardic Knowledge
Chapter 1: September 25, Return of Harmony Part 1
It was a cool September day, and thus far everything seemed as usual. I sat in the living room, reading the book Spike and I had retrieved in the secret compartment (there were some interesting things in there, including a mirror-shaped gateway to another world, though it didn't have any information on said other world), when the kitchen door practically slammed open. “Joe!” shouted Trixie, entering.
“What it is, Trix?” I replied, looking up from my book.
“I was just at Sweet Apple Acres and there's something strange going on with some sort of chocolate rain and corn popping off the cob and then Twilight and the others just received word from Celestia to come to Canterlot immediately.” While explaining, Trixie headed for her room, leaving the door to the back open so I could hear.
“I see.” Hmm, it had been a day since the Ponyville Elementary class got back from Canterlot. I guess it took him a while to finish breaking free. “So, what're you doing?”
“I'm going with them, of course!” she proclaimed, her old hat and cloak billowing dramatically behind her as she left her room. I paused, just sitting there blinking for a moment. “Are you okay?”
“Mm. Yeah, I just wasn't expecting that. I thought you would leave it up to the Elements to deal with things.”
“They are my friends as well, now. How could I leave them be? For that matter, why aren't you getting ready to come as well? This is a much bigger event than Twilight learning about friendship!”
“If you feel you must go, then go and be careful. But this is a trial that they must face without my help.” Had to watch my words, Discord could be listening in at this point. “I can tell you that much.”
Trixie looked pensive. “I see. In that case, I shall be off!” And she galloped out the door, slamming it shut behind her. I sighed and looked down, returning to my book. As I turned the page, there was a flash of light behind me.
“Hello, Discord.”
“And just how did you know it was me?” He replied. I simply closed my book and held it up.
“I've been reading up on you. I had a feeling today was the day.”
“About that, what did you mean about 'being what you are?'”
I turned around to look at the Draconequus. “Racially speaking, I am a Human. But what I am on top of that is what my world refers to as a Troper.” Not lying, just not telling the whole truth. “Tropers are a group of people who read the strands of fate for common points in both reality and fiction. If one becomes good enough at being a Troper, they can start to, essentially, read ahead.” Ah, Jedi Truth. You just have to look at things from a Certain Point of View.
“Well, then, your little wager is rigged if you can 'read ahead' like that.”
“One of the things a true Troper knows, however,” I continued, as though he hadn't spoken, “is that only one thing can be predicted of True Chaos: there is no predicting True Chaos. Your stone seal was not Chaos, so I could tell it was failing. And you, as I said, are a Kami of Chaos.”
He preened slightly. Good, that meant he bought the half-truth. “In that case, why make the wager at all?”
“In either outcome, I have the potential for victory. Either I serve at your side for eternity, if you'll have me that long, I don't know. Actually, I don't even know if you'll let me live after you win in the first place!” He smiled menacingly. I held up a finger “OR if I get that fraction of your power, I can make myself immortal, or at least slow my aging to a crawl.”
“And I suppose you expect me to keep the deal if I lose?”
“I'm hoping, but I don't know. One thing about the Kami I know – well, if I recall properly – is that their word, willingly given, can not be refuted.”
“And if I refuse?”
“C'est la vie. I will live as I have, unless, again, you decide to end me. My fate, in all ways, is in your claws.” I then held out my hand, palm up.
“Then we have an accord!” he crowed, before slapping my hand with his lion's paw, knocking it off. I glanced down at the bloodless stump with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged, picked up the severed hand, and shook it lightly.
“Collateral. If I win, I keep it as part of our bargain. If you win, it will grant you the power you wish when you put it back on. Just remember: no interfering.” His eyes narrowed dangerously.
“If one of us breaks the terms of the wager, they instantly lose. Will that work?” He stroked his beard and nodded, before slipping my hand into an invisible pocket on his torso. He then snapped the talons of his eagle's claw and disappeared in a flash of light.
“...Great. Now I have to do everything left-handed.” Still, since he agreed to that last clause, that meant if he did do something different (like try to break the girls a second time) I would automatically win.
...Damn, when did I get so manipulative?
Actually, thinking on it, I may have always had that manipulative streak in me. It's actually gotten a lot of use while I've been in Equestria, too. But I don't like having to do it, so I guess I just try to not acknowledge its existence. After all, cunning and ambition are Slytherin traits, and I'm a steadfast and loyal Hufflepuff.
Right?
At least, that's what was going through my mind at the time. These days I know better, that I'm not limited to a single descriptor like a Hogwarts house.
I spent the next hour or so trying to get used to my one-handedness, which was hard simply because it was my left hand, as I'm used to keeping a book in one hand, which meant using only the other one for other tasks all the time.
Don't.
You know what I mean.
Anyways, I had just gotten used to the non-feeling of a missing right hand, when there came a knock at the door. I quickly threw on my coat and tucked my stump into a pocket. Even if I was willing to discuss my deal with Discord, I don't think anyone would want to see the inside of a human wrist.
To my mild surprise it was Spike.
“Spike, why are you here?”
“Ponyville's gone crazy! The girls left for Canterlot on hoof, and they couldn't have been gone for more than a couple hours when things just started getting weird.”
I frowned. Discord was warping the world already? Well, beyond the Chocolate-Filled Cotton Candy Clouds and long-legged rabbits, I mean.
“Weird how?”
Spike started off the porch as he explained, forcing me to move after him, “I walked straight here. After going through Sweet Apple Acres.”
I blinked. Considering Sweet Apple Acres was south of Ponyville and I lived to the east? “Yeah, that'd definitely count as weird. Was there anything else?”
“Would that count?” Spike pointed directly ahead of us. I looked up from him to see a tree flapping in the breeze. Not swaying, like branches normally do, but flapping like it was made of paper. The tree was completely two-dimensional.
I reached out my hand to the tree, and felt it go flat as well as it approached. I snapped backwards in surprise and pain, flexing my once-again 3D hand.
As Spike and I continued onward, the sights remained bizarre, but still tame in their own way. A school of fish swam through the air like it was water, singing country songs as they went along. Reality stretched like a fun-house mirror, some steps taking us huge distances while other went only an inch. We even passed through what I recognized to be Dodge Junction. I was even forced to duck under a neck-high crack in space, eerily similar to the cracks caused by the TARDIS exploding. I shivered in recognition, unsure if this meant Discord could see beyond Equestria already.
Finally, Spike and I wound up at what seemed to be the only bastion of peace in the chaotic warp: Golden Oaks Library.
There were two explanations I could think of for its untouched nature. One: The Elements, having already been placed there, were keeping it from being affected by Discord's passive transformations; or B: Discord was leaving the homes of his foes intact for some psychological ploy.
B was probably more plausible, considering Discord was capable of moving the Elements to begin with (and also that my house was equally unaffected by the chaos). Either way, we entered.
“So why did we come here anyways?” I asked.
“One of these books has to have some information, but I can't reach some of them, even with the rolling ladder. So I need your help.”
“Because I'm taller than just about anything.” I sighed. “Alright.” Careful not to let my stump of a right arm leave my pocket, I started pulling down books and rifling through them carefully, not really paying attention. Unfortunately, Spike took notice of this and I didn't realize until he went to test me.
While up on the rolling ladder, he pretended to fall off, which meant that I lunged to catch him. With both arms.
“Regaining” his balance, he glanced at my wrist and grinned. “Ah-ha! I knew...” He trailed off as he saw exactly what I didn't want him to see: the inside of my wrist. The viscera inside the narrowest part of the arm isn't much, but it was still more graphic than anything Spike had ever seen in his young life.
Which meant that he threw up. Nothing hit the books, but sparkling vomit covered the wooden floor between us.
I closed my eyes. “I was hoping to keep this from you.”
“H-how did this happen?” Spike whispered in horror.
“It's better that you do not know.”
“You aren't even bleeding from it. That's impossible, it doesn't make any sense!” Spike paused. “Nothing about what's happening makes sense. You did something, didn't you?” His tone became accusatory. “Whatever's causing this mess around Ponyville, you know about it. You- you're in league with it!”
“Now, Spike, let's not jump to conclusions here.” I replaced my wrist into my pocket, and held my hand up placatingly. “I-”
Spike pulled open the broom cupboard he'd been inching towards and pulled out the mop, thrusting its business end in my face. “I don't want to hear your excuses! Get out of here, and don't come back!”
I sighed and backed away, head downcast. “I'm sorry, Spike. But this is all a misunderstanding.” Spike just waved the mop at me a little more as I backed away, until I was at the door. He then grabbed the mop's bucket and took it into the kitchen, filling it with water. Silently, shamefully, I left. And as I closed the library's door behind me, I heard the faintest muttering. “Topaz? I didn't even eat topaz today.”
A while of walking through the distortions later, I was back home. Moments later, a loud thunderclap echoed from Canterlot, and a pulse of energy flew forth from the mountain as I turned to look. The distortions didn't grew visibly worse, but the ground shifted and changed, some of it become the well-known checker pattern of the show, while other areas became bizarre whorls of rainbow and still others were turned to dust. Some of the chocolate rain that had fallen earlier rose now, falling back into the clouds. Some fell sideways.
And, as if to finalize the victory, the moon rose, with the sun still in the sky, and they danced together.
Discord won stage one.