The Unicorn Lost in the Woods

by Spleedude


05/31/2015, 02:05 Transcript 1

The following is a transcript of the conversation held between National Guard member PFC Dettmer and an unknown civilian caller. For reference the letter C will be used to refer to the civilian while the letter D will be used to refer to PFC Dettmer.


C: H-Hello? Is this thing on? Hello?

D: Yes! Mam this is privet Dettmer can you hear me? Over.

C: Hello? Mr. Guardsman sir? Can you hear me?

D: Yes! Yes I can! What’s wrong with this thing?! Let’s see, that light is on meaning I’m transmitting, I can hear her but she can’t hear me meaning she’s transmitting but not receiving. That means one of two things, either her speaker is broken, which it can’t be because she heard my earlier massage, or-

C: Hello?

D: No. NO God dammit! MAM! YOU NEED TO RELEASE YOUR PUSH TO TALK BUTTON IN ORDER TO HEAR ME!

C: MR. Guardsman?

D: [There is a bang and clatter of things falling off the table] MAM! Release your push to talk button!

C: Anyone…

D: There’s nothing I can do from this end. Mam!

C/D: please…/PLEASE!


From this point on the only sounds from the unknown caller are chocked sobs and the occasional plead for anyone to answer. The only sounds from PFC Dettmer are swearing interposed with request for the unknown caller to release the push to talk button followed by quiet sobbing when the unknown caller’s radio is turned off. Call ends at approximately 03:17 hours.