Chapter 27
Capturing the Wild Heartbreak
Subtle Brew hummed a song that she learned as a filly. It was a good day, a quiet day. There had been many customers that had come into her lovely tea shop and sampled her teas. She dusted off some of the shelves and watered her lovely vines. All the ponies here were lovely...All but that one who had come in earlier.
“*I am so sad that we were not able to please that one mare’s tastes, but what is tea without the hay?*” she picked up a broom with her magic and swept any errant dirt off the floor. “*There was something very off about that mare. Very off. And then there was that name. Heartbreak. Funny how father’s last words to me were about leaving with Earl Grey involved heartbreak.*” she rolled her eyes and imagined her father speaking. “*Remember Subtle Brew, it is dangerous outside our home. Go with this stranger and I assure you, you will see everything end with heartbreak!*” she scoffed at this. Earl Grey had been nothing but loving, kind and caring to her. Not like many of the stallions of her mountain home. Yes, Earl Grey was protective like they were, but he was gentle about things. “*So understanding. Soon father, you will have grandchildren, for I will be the Earl’s Lady Grey! Oh, how exciting!*”
Subtle Brew felt so wonderful at this thought that she began to sing the love song she was humming. Earl grey peeked his head in to the front of the store and smiled. He loved hearing her sing. As her song ended, he coughed a little. Subtle Brew jumped.
“Oh! I is sorry! Was I disturbing juu?” she asked, bowing and looking apologetic.
“No...If that was disturbing me, my dear, then I would like to be disturbed more often.” He walked into the room and kissed the side of her forehead. Subtle Brew giggled and blushed.
“You know, it has been such a productive day, and we barely get any customers after 2:30... I was thinking...perhaps, we can close early today?” he came close to her and nuzzled her face.
Subtle Brew giggled and danced away. “Oh, future husband to be, juu are so naughty! Can juu not wait for me to be juur Lady Grey?” she flitted to the sunlit window sill. Her black mane caught the light and her beautiful eyes sparkled at him.
“You will have to forgive me, my Subtle Brew,” Earl replied walking over to her. “But your beauty and voice enchant me so. As they did when we first met..”
Subtle Brew smiled and ran a hoof along the side of his neck. “If I is remembering correctly, I was screaming as a dragon was chasing me, when first we met, Earl of Grey.” Earl chuckled. “I is knowing that juu trying to be romantic.”
Earl shook his head. “There are still times that you trip me up, Subtle Brew. The day that we met was a day that I know I certainly won’t forget...”
“And forget it, I will never either, my brave knight..” she replied, her eyes sparkling at an unseen memory. The two locked eyes and their lips began to approach.
“I still won’t forget the day I heard...” Earl Grey paused and turned his head. “That noise?”
Subtle brew blinked and looked confused. “Noise?” she listened and then turned her head. Outside the window was a sudden cacophony of noise!
The two shop owners looked out of their front store window in time to see a swarm of hats flying by. Several of which slammed against the window like oblivious birds. Then, before their eyes a large mechanized bipedal walking clock drudged by. “THE TIME IS 2:32! OOOOOH! YEAH!”
“Sweet Earl Grey...” Subtle Brew began.
“Y-y-yes, my sugar lump?” Earl asked, watching a horrible scene of chaos unfolding outside of his tea shop. He had always heard that Ponyville had some sort of excitement going on. He just assumed that it was either a rumor or an over exaggeration, at the least he thought that it meant that business would be decent.
“I sink juu are right about clo-sing early today...” Subtle Brew stated.
“I am glad you concur...” he replied, about to close the blinds.
As Earl Grey was about to close the blinds, a blur of black and white stripes bolted through the door.
“Zecora!” Earl shouted startled. “What are you doing here? What is going on?!”
Subtle Brew shrieked as a dragonfly like watch zipped into the shop.
Zecora slammed the door behind her. “Please, there is much need to worry, I can not talk, I am in a hurry! Subtle Brew! Earl Grey! I need you to make me a tea that is nothing but grass and hay!”
Earl was confounded by this. “I say! There is mass chaos in the streets and you are wanting tea?!”
“Earl Grey! Hear me out! It will save the day! I have committed a terrible mistake! And now it may cost a pony her life, a pony named Heartbreak!” Zecora caught the flying watch from out of the air. “For you see, if she does not get this cure, by 2:45, she’ll be one dead pony for sure!”
“The time is 2:34!” chimed the tiny watch.
“What are you babbling-” Earl began as a tea pot and several cups floated by his head.
“Here juu are lady Zecora! Juu go now! Pay later!” Subtle Brew said, smiling widely.
Zecora smiled back. “Thank you, Subtle Brew!” she said before nabbing the kettle and cups from the air before rushing out the door.
Earl Grey looked utterly confused. “I-what-um-”
Subtle Brew closed the blinds and put a tendril of magic to her love’s muzzle. “I loves juu, but sometime, juu talk too much...”
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A nearby whistle went off from the locomotive that was pulling out of the ponyville train station. "Atrain! Atrain! Atrain! Atrain! Couldyou, wouldyou, onatrain?" Heartbreak shouted at the fleeing Ghost Writer.
"Not on a train! Not in a tree! Not in a fez! Heartbreak! Let me be! I would not, could not, in a box. I could not, would not, with a fox. I will not drink it with a mouse. I not will drink it in a house. I will not drink it here nor there. I will not drink it anywhere. I do not want any of your tea! Please, oh please! Somepony help me!" he replied, racing into the train station. "A place to hide, a place to hide! Where is a place to-" he spied the janitors closet, before darting in. He sighed. Had he finally found peace?
Two glowing blue eyes told him that he had not. "Saaaaaaay! Inthedark? Hereinthedark! Wouldyou, couldyou, inthedark?"
Ghost Writer fought the urge to make a perverse comment. Even he wouldn't stoop so low as to take advantage of a mare that wasn't in her right mind. He however paused and shook his head. "I would not, could not, in the dark!" he burst through the door and raced outside. Oh, how he wished he had taken those magical training classes like his father had suggested to him! He felt something dripping on him, looking up he saw that storm clouds were being put in place by the pegasi. It wasn't much of a drizzle but he tried looking around for cover. Heartbreak appeared before him, almost as if she was walking between the falling droplets.
"Wouldyou, couldyou, intherain?" she asked spinning around and looking up at him cutely.
Ghost Writers' mouth scrunched up. Everything she was saying kept sounding worse and worse by the second if taken out of context!
"I would not, could not, in the rain. Not in the dark. Not on a train. Not in a fez. Not in a tree. Because I believe that there is something very wrong with your tea! So! Not in a house. Not in a box. Not with a mouse. Not with a fox. I will not drink it here or there. I will not drink it anywhere!" he ran half way across a local bridge. There was a small boat floating along the river, he looked left and right and took a flying jump into the boat. On the bridge was Heartbreak looking rather angry but slowly getting farther away. He almost relaxed. Until he saw that she was making a flying leap for the boat.
Heartbreak fell short of her intended target and splashed into the water right next to the boat. Ghost Writer cautiously looked over the side... He didn't want the mare to drown...But then she popped right up out of the water and onto the boat. The silk top hat still clinging to her head despite her mane and tail now drenched. "Youdonotlikefantastictea?! Thencouldyou, wouldyou, withagoat? Wouldyou,couldyou, onthisboat?!" she asked not skipping a beat.
The confused goat that Heartbreak grabbed bleated at Ghost writer. "I would not, could not, with a goat and most certainly not on a boat!" he spied a passing dock and made a leap for it, pushing himself a bit with his own magic.
He made a run for it again, only to find that his tail was being tugged on. He jumped, expecting Heartbreak. What he found was a walking talking mechanical watch. "The Time Is 2:36!"
Heartbreak grabbed the strange timepiece. "Wouldyoudrinkitbythedock?! Wouldyoudrinkitwiththisclock!?"
Ghost Writer had enough. Enough of the pose, enough of the rhyming, enough of her chasing him all across Ponyville. His eye twitched and his face took on a serious expression. “See here now, little Miss Heartbreak. I will not drink it in the rain. I will not drink it on a train. Not in the dark! Not in a tree! Not in a fez! You let me be! I would not like it in a box. I would not like it with a fox. I will not drink it in a house, or with a mouse! Neither here nor there. I will not drink your tea you crazy mare!"
Ghost Writer realized his mistake of getting too close to Heartbreak all together too late, as she jumped on him and pinned him to the ground. Normally this would have been a dream come true. Mares throwing themselves at him, him on the ground nearly helpless and unable to move. But the crackling light across Heartbreak's eyes and mane, the way her muscles were twitching, and the way she was trying to force him to drink what ever was in that cup, was turning a fantasy into a downright nightmare.
"YOUHAVEAPROBLEM,GHOSTWRITERANDTHETEACANFIXIT! DRINKTHETEA!" She shouted at the top of her lungs, trying to force the cup to his lips.
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Twilight was now being constantly reminded of the time, and there wasn’t a moment to lose. “Darn it! Where is she?” Twilight thought, approaching the train station. The sounds of screaming ponies as clocks and hats attacked them was distracting enough, and time was the one thing she didn’t have in all this.
“The Time Is 2:36, Twilight Sparkle!” the flying insect watch chimed.
“Aaaaarugh! I know!” Twilight replied, running faster. The good news in all of this was that she felt her magic recharging a bit. “At least now, I can get to her quicker if I need to...”
Twilight’s panic button was about to grow hot when she spied pink and yellow out of the corner of her eye. “Fluttershy?”
“I will do what I can to help, Twilight,” she replied. “I just don’t want to see her get hurt again.”
“Well, in that case! See if you can see her from where you are! There’s just too much chaos on the ground!” Twilight shouted.
Fluttershy flew up and looked around nervously. “There! Over by the river near the bridge!” she blinked and eeked! “Twilight! You need to get over there right now! She’s doing something terrible to another pony!”
Twilight raced to the location that Fluttershy pointed out. And there indeed was something horrible going on. Heartbreak had Ghost Writer pinned down on the ground with one hoof and a sipping cup of what had to be the Insani-tea on her other.
"YOUHAVEAPROBLEM,GHOSTWRITERANDTHETEACANFIXIT! DRINKTHETEA!" came a shout from the top of Heartbreak’s lungs. From what Twilight could tell, the only thing saving this unicorns’ mind from what was in that cup, was the glow around Heartbreak’s hoof.
“That’s not going to last forever! He’s already sweating!” Twilight’s mind screamed at her.
Zecora rushed right next to Twilight as she beheld this rather awkward sight. “I must make haste, for there is no more time to waste!” She poured some of the tea out of the pot and into several cups. Then she gave what was left in the pot to Twilight. “We need to get the Insani-tea out of her sight! She must drink all of this to set her right!”
Twilight nodded. “Spike!”
Spike was already racing to grab the cup off of Heartbreak’s hoof. “I’m on it Twilight!” replied attempting to swipe the at cup.
“Spike!Whatareyoudoing!?Youdon’thaveaproblem!GhostWriterhastheproblem!Stopit!Stopit!Stopit!He’sgoingtogetawayagain!” Heartbreak shouted. Spike almost couldn’t recognize the mare who he had kinda bonded with this morning. Her eyes were nearly glowing, her mane and tail were puffed out and filled with static.
“Come on, Heartbreak! Give it here!” Spike shouted, he turned and looked at Ghost Writer. “Dude! Run!”
The frozen unicorn blinked. “Oh! Right!” he jumped up and moved to a safe distance.
“The Time is 2:38, Twilight Sparkle!” chimed the little buzzing watch above her.
“Arrrrgh! We’ll never make it in time!” Twilight said panicking.
“Make it in time for what?” Fluttershy asked.
“If we can’t get the cup away from Heartbreak and make her drink this in less than five minutes, she’s going to Die, Fluttershy!” Twilight explained.
“D-d-d-die?!” Fluttershy exclaimed.
“YES! Die!” Twilight replied.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened and she could feel a hard wrenching emotion pull at her. It pulled her as she dove down and crashed into Heartbreak. The cup slipped off of her hoof and flew into the air, small droplets of the potent brew being flung out of the top. As they hit the ground, they made wide static arcs and fizzled out. The cup crashed open just a foot away from Ghost Writer’s hooves. It cracked open, the contents spilling out and erupting in a crackling, nearly thundering mess of tea and static discharge.
“MYTEA!” Heartbreak shouted, reaching forward.
Twilight saw another opening now. Reaching deep down she pulled at her magic and pushed herself through the fabric of reality. Going from across the way to right in front of Heartbreak. She shoved the spout of the teapot into her mouth.
“Heartbreak! Drink this! It can’t wait! Drink it now before it is too late! There’s a spark of Insanity in your head that will cause your brain to fry! Drink it now or you will Die!” Twilight shouted.
The flying watch bug zipped above Twilight. “The Time is 2:41, Twilight Sparkle!”